Walking on His Own

If your concern is that he'll run into traffic, etc., what I do is let my daughter walk. But, if we're headed somewhere unsafe, then I tell her the choice is to hold my hand or I carry her. For example, walking on the sidewalk is fine but if you want to cross the street or walking down the hall at daycare is fine but when we get to the door, you have to hold mommy's hand. She fought it the first few times and I simply picked her up and carried her. Now she almost always willingly takes my hand.

Good Morning T.. All children love being independent. What we did was purchase one of those little back pack harness's. It's a monkey with a long tail too. He can walk alone and you still have control of where he goes. I used it with Corbin and Zane. The monkey is on his back with a lead or long leash type thing.
It works well, I think we found it at WalMart

God Bless
K. Nana of 5

I'm surprised that he's not already walking on his own without your help. Let him walk.

I'm pretty sure you are trying to say that he walks on his own, but you are worried about him going to an unsafe place. They have backpacks you can buy that have a handle for you to hold so they can't get too far ahead of you, I've also seen wristbands that you and he can wear, they are attached so he can't get away from you too. Some parents think they look like a dog leash, which they do, but what can be more loving than to give him some more independence while still being safe!

It's hard to let them, but you have to let them. He needs to walk and fall and get back up and try again. He's going to get bruises and scrapes and stubbed toes from now until....
Just be there to help him up and kiss his boo boo and give a bandaid and a lot of encouragement. :-)

I agree with what a lot of moms have said. You can let him walk on his own and be independent without holding his hand in certain situations. It's good for him. I also have purchased a backpack "leash" for my son who is 19 months old. We only use it where it may be dangerous for him to walk independently, such as on the sidewalk or in a crowded place. This allows him to have some freedom but to also be safe. Good luck! :)

I know some people may cringe when they read this but I use the toddler "leash" with a harness...my niece is Autistic and they have used this method in busy places like airports and she is not always willing to hold a hand, my youngest son is the same way in that he will just run and he won't stop, doesn't answer to his name being called...you may get some stares but you need to keep your child safe and everyone else can go take a leap they don't have to be in your shoes! My Alex LOVES to go on walks now that he doesn't have to hold a hand...and with his little harness he is safe and I can enjoy our time as well. They have a Very cute one at walmart that looks like they have a monkey on there back, we just have a standard one because Alex tends to run on the hot side and I didn't want him to get over heated.
Good Luck
B.

Hello T. I have 2 children and my son is 13 months old and he started the walking thing a few months ago and is still a bit wobbly but is not trying to run. The easiest thing I can tell you to do is let him learn...unless your on steps or concrete he falls. Its just that he falls.

And even if it is in your driveway covered in rocks. He'll most likly mumbles a baby 'OW' and fuss a bit and try again. Falling and getting back up is the hardest part. But trust there will be MILLIONS of bumps and bruises!!!! Worry when he starts climbing!!!!

Let him walk!! Yes, he may fall and get bruised and cut up some, but that is part of the learning process. The fact that he wants to do it on his own is very good. When my daughter first started walking, I made sure she was well padded (it was summer so I put on knee pads) and she was mostly on carpet. Other than that, there is not much you can do. He'll have to get hurt, fall down, get some boo-boos along the way when learning. It'll be okay!

Wal-Mart and Target have cute little animal backpacks that have a detachable leash on them! We bought ours when our son was just toddling around and now at 4 we still use it in busy places... GREAT thing and under $20 (maybe even under 15)

You can walk by him without touching him. If he goes to fall you can catch him, but he has to learn to get his own balance and stay straight up. He won't learn it if you don't let him. And when he falls and gets hurt don't say "see you should have held Mommy's hand". Encourage him.

God Bless,
L.

Could you let him try walking in the grass? If he falls it would be much easier on him (and you) Fall is also a great time since children are wearing pants. You could try pants ( if it's cool enough now) if you are afraid that he might get scraped. If you house is babyproof, you could let him cruise around without your help, too.
Good luck, try to let him do it on his own.

Get him a walker. My favorite one was given to me by my SIL who ordered it out of LTD...it was a great little walker that rolled with the toddler but could be set on it's side and made into a play table with balls you could feed in the top and would come out the bottom. I know Fisher Price makes several varities as well. This gives him lots of independence while letting him explore more on his own and giving him confidence of having something a little more sturdy to hold onto.

I've been reading Love and Logic...love it! I think it would suggest saying something like, "You can either hold mommy's hand or mommy can carry you. Your Choice." Or if daddy or another adult is around, "You can either hold mommy or daddy's hand. Your Choice." It gives a little control back to the child, but really you are giving him choices you'd be happy with. My husband and I also make it a game with our 26 mo old daughter. She holds each of our hands and we swing her once or twice. Makes light of the situation.

Good luck!

Well, if it is not possible for him to walk on his own because he is physically unable, I would take him to the pediatrician. At 17 months, he should already be walking and running quite a lot. If it is not possible for him to walk on his own beause he always runs off, tell him you need him to hold your hand because if he doesnt YOU will get lost. My niece and nephew started to resist hand holding as they started to get a little older and I told them I would get lost if they didnt hold my hand. That made them feel like they were protecting me and not being held back. God Bless and let us know how things are going.

Hi T.,
Ok. A couple things.

If it's an issue of him not quite being stable yet, but enjoying the attempt, I'd guess he doesn't want to hold your hand because it throws his balance off. If that's the case, try loosely tying an old scarf (pashmina) or a folded up twin bedsheet around his chest under his arms with the tails behind him. You can hold on to the tails, pulling up a little to give him support - but he can still fully use his arms for balance. My son loved that!

If it's a matter of him wandering away from you - I have to admit - we bought a "leash". It took me facing a flight with a layover travelling alone with my son (then about 2) to break down & do it. But, I knew he'd need to run off some energy and I didn't want to lose my mind - or him - in the airport.

Our son still enjoyed stroller rides when we were in public places - so that was our work-around to the independent streak. He could walk, holding our hands, or he could ride in the stroller. And, if he was stubborn about chosing neither - we went home. He figured out really quickly that wasn't fun. And, Love & Logic is great. I am a huge supporter of only giving your kids the pick of choices that you approve of!

Also - you might try holding Daddy's hand to show him it's something to be enjoyed, not some kind of control or punishment. I'd tell my son, as I grabbed his hand "I like holding your hand!" and now he tells me the same thing sometimes. It's the funniest, cutest thing! :) Especially remembering some of the battles we had over hand-holding!

So - I hope you find what works for you. Stick with it!

I don't know how I found out about this, but it really worked with my little guy, also a very independent one...
I took him to an area where if he did break away from me, he would be okay... our backyard was a shared courtyard with other apartment buildings, so it worked great. We would walk a little bit, and if he got more than about five of my steps away from me, I said, "That's too far. Come back." and he didn't. So each time, I brought him back to me, to the same place, and we would start again.
It took a lot of work, but more than a year later, in the midst of the "terrible twos" (which really aren't all that terrible), he still listens to me. And my husband.
It took A LOT of work, but it is so worth it.