Waking and Nighttime Feedings

In the end you have to do what is best for you and your family situation. I have a 2 year old whose sleep habits are not great despite mainly sleeping thru the night by 5 months. Sometimes I still have to let her cry it out a little bit. If she gets hysterical, I go into the room and soothe her for a few minutes before leaving. I also try to make sure there is nothing else going on like a fever, teething, or a bad diaper. I get her a drink if she needs one, and then, having made sure she's OK, I let her cry it out and she generally cries herself to sleep in about 10 minutes. This works for us. If a simple strategy like this doesn't work for you, I'd go the library or bookstore and try to find some help in a manual. Good luck. You'll be a better mommy for having gotten some sleep! L. A.

Yes, it's normal to still have 1 night nursing at this age. That said, you can stop it if you want to. Personally, I put my foot down on the night nursings when my son turned 12 months. By that time he'd pushed back his night nursing to 4 or even 5 am so it wasn't too much of a stretch to ask him to push it until 6 or 6:30 when I got up. Everyone is different on this one, so do what you're comfortable with. But don't feel like you need to end the feedings simply because your friends (who probably bottle feed their kids) tell you that THEIR kids sleep through the night. As I'm sure you've learned by now, just because your kid sleeps through one week, doesn't mean he will a month from now.

Ok so if you want to put an end to it, this is also not too difficult, though you DO need to stick to your guns. I agree with the graduated crying (Ferber) method - works like a charm. If you can stand it, send your husband in after 5 minutes. Then 10, then 15. Or, make it shorter if you can't stand it. 2 minutes, then 5, then 7, then every 7 until he falls back asleep. When your husband goes in (and I agree, this is the right thing to do - your son won't be expecting any mlik from him) he should not pick him up, but should settle him down and then leave again. The first night will be awful and it will seem like forever. The second night will be substantially shorter, and chances are he will roll over and go back to sleep by himself on the third night.

I have been doing "graduated" crying. Let him cry for 5 minutes the first night, 10 the next and so on. I have been doing this with my four-month-old because she was up every 2 hours all night long, and I work full-time and could not function. We are down to 3 times per night (after 1 week) with minimal crying. Actually, within two evenings of starting this, she was down to 2 and then only 1 time up during the night (but then I got off schedule). Anyway, talk to your pediatrician. Mine says that a four-month old only NEEDS to eat once per night and by six months they do not need to nurse during the evening. Plus, don't you think it's important for a baby to get a lot of uninterrupted rest? It is for everyone else, children and adults! I would think, then, even more so for your baby. So, let that be your motivation!

K.:

there are many advocates on both sides of this ... in the end you must do what feels right for you.

children wake at night for many many reasons... they nurse because it is comforting.. that is not a bad thing.

P., RLC, IBCLC, CST
Breastfeeding and Parenting Solutions

K.,
My son stopped night feedings at about eight months old and my daughter between 10 and 12 months. They are two and four now and still wake in the night from time to time. I could always comfort my son by rocking or rubbing his back to go back down. My daughter still asks for milk sometimes at age two. I was never really able to let them cry it out. I did then and do now still let them cry for a minute or two before I go in and about 90% of the time they go back to sleep on their own. What about offering a bottle instead of the breast? My friend did this and every night gave one ounce less. She said it worked like a charm and baby stopped waking within a week.

i, too, am having difficulty with my six month old sleeping through the night. i nurse him to get him to go back to sleep. my husband and i have tried to let him cry it out, but that is not working for us. we have gone beyond the "3 night" rule and still he gets up and crys. i don't think there is really a cap on how long to let them cry. according to dr. weissbluth who wrote "healthy sleep habits, happy child" it is open-ended. we have let him cry for up to an hour before. i think all you can do is keep doing what you are doing and letting him cry for longer stretches each night. they need to learn to self-soothe. some babies don't follow the standard rules on how long it should take to get into a habit. i know for me i just have to keep stretching out the time i allow him to cry before going to him and hope that he will eventually learn to self-soothe.

I nursed my son till at night till he was nearly a year and it is not uncommon. About that time I night weaned him...no crying, nothing upsetting and it worked like a charm. The entire explanation is in the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.

Basically what I did was nurse him down to sleep. He would sleep in his crib for a good 5-6 hours and then when he woke to nurse, I would bring him to bed.....you have to stay awake and aware for a while and not fall right back to sleep to do this. I would keep some slips of paper on my night stand and record when he woke. Then I would nurse him, but only for a very very short time, and then take him off. Then record how long you nurse. If he fusses about it, put him back on, but again only for a very short time. The idea is to gradually allow him to have the breast for shorter and shorter time periods. At this point, they are very unlikely to be waking because they are hungry, but more because they want to be near you or be comforted. Eventually, my son just stopped waking at all because he knew he really wasn't going to get what he wanted....and no one had to get upset or be abandoned. You can do this without crying. Don't let the CIO people get to you, if you don't feel it is right for you, then it probably isn't.

My son just turned one and on most nights still gets up once a night to nurse. I work as well and feel that the night time feeding helps with my supply. I have heard that it is completely normal for an older breastfed baby to get up once a night to nurse.