Very Negative 5Yo

I think this must just be a "5 yr old thing". Our daughter is the same way. I think it's just her way of expressing frustration. I know how disheartening it is to listen to!

I instead ask her "what did you learn today" or "what was the best part of your day/class"? I think by posing the questions in a positive light, I encourage her to give "happy" answers.

When she is negative, I simply say, "I'm sorry you didn't have a good time." And move onto talking or doing something else.

I have found that the less energy I put into her negativity, the less she seeks attention for it.

Again, I think it's just a phase. We did the same thing, put her in a class she begged to go into and all she did was complain and say it was boring. I just remind her of that the next time she asked to enroll in a new class. I told her that if all she's going to do is complain. And that she has to FIND something to be happy about and tell me when I pick her up.

This seemed help her to understand that we aren't going to spend money on "special" things for her if she's not going to appreciate them.

Best wishes - I hope this phase passes soon too!

Off the top of my head, I'm thinking: Martial arts is a new activity to him and he may be worried about what he's gotten into - unsure of himself and how well he'll do. Of course he doesn't know the moves yet! You could let him know that it's OK not to know the moves yet. He needs to go to classes for several more times before he'll really even begin knowing the moves. Right now is the time for starting to learn, not doing it well.

You could ask your son to show you what he's worked on after he gets home, and you will soon be able to point out improvement even if he doesn't notice it.

Here's another thought: he might be concerned that he will let his dad down somehow. Only a child would think like this, but some children do.

Another thought: if he's getting considerable attention by being negative, then maybe he just has a good game going with you all. Do you need to play it?

I think it is the age. We'll go on a fun outing, and then my son will complain that he didn't get x (ice cream, spend the night, whatever).

I told him if he keeps complaining that I will think he doesn't like it when we take him places, so I won't want to go back. And that while he is complaining he didn't get ice cream, most of his friends would love to trade places and go on an amusement ride like he did. That has helped somewhat.

I'm also trying to ask more specific questions- instead of "how was it" ask "what was the funniest thing that happened" or even asking him to name one thing he is thankful for today (when he complains or acts ungrateful).

It could be depression. Kids this age can get it. Our son would be given a piece of cake and would complain about the plate it was on. Take him to a park, it was the wrong park. You name it, everything was disappointing to him. Our son has some other issues that had overshadowed all of this for a while, but when his teacher remarked that he was such a sad boy, we knew it was time to mention something to the doctor. His doctor finally diagnosed it as depression. He went on medication for it and it made all the difference. This proved to be something we just couldn't solve on our own otherwise.

It may be worth mentioning the problem to your son's doctor if you're serious about this enough to post a message about it.

Your son will pattern himself after his father. If the father is negative, the son will be negative. You can help to temper that. Everyday, have him say five things that are positive about the day. If he says something negative, immediately help him to come up with something positive. You may also want to encourage husband to count his blessings too. I really hope this helps.