Vent- Prom Dresses

Updated on March 22, 2013
P.S. asks from Bemidji, MN
32 answers

So my daughter is going to prom with a friend. The problem is we can't find a dress. Been to a few larger towns and so far everything is yuck to my daughter. Here is the issue, she doesn't want any heavy dreses, which means no excessive beads, they all seem to be "bedazzled". That eliminates 50 % of the dresses, Next she doesn't want strapless, there goes another 45% of dresses. Where are the other 5%dresses to be found??? She is built in front and isn't one to show off. Her ideal dress would be a halter top, full length, fitted waist with flowing around the bottom, no slits. She wants elegance. Not. . . well how else to word this meaning no offense but she is going to prom not whoring 101 class. The styles out there leave nothing to the imagination. I walked out after a sales person was left speechless after I asked for the basic requests of my daughter, and she couldn't think of one dress like that. I am just venting, but yes to answer more questions I am the mom who has walked into a department store and left after the sales person told me no they don't sell any one piece swimming suits for young girls. My girls like fashion but they want to be comfortable. Yes I raised them to be embaressed when they expose too much skin. We don't have "clothing malfunctions". So I guess does any body knows where there are elegant dresses? No I don't want buy online. Thinking I may have to go to Mall of America.

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone who sent me urls they were most helpful. I never realized just how far out now you have to order dresses including bridesmaid dresses. some were quoting 4 months, maybe 2 if we put in a rush order!!!!! I have definately learned my lesson. We did find a dress at a shop in Fargo ND. She is going to wear a shawl, just because that is her comfort level, the dress does cover her without any cleavage front or back which was her main goal. I guess to all those other mothers for the years to come, I would suggests starting to look in September. Which we will be doing for next years prom dress. Thanks again for all the positive remarks, and taking the time to offer help.

Featured Answers

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

oh fer cryin' in a bucket.
'no offense', but a strapless dress or one with sparkles is 'whoring'?
no wonder you're having trouble finding a dress.
why not just add a jacket or a shrug?
khairete
S.

6 moms found this helpful
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M.F.

answers from Chicago on

If you can get to Mall of America, you might want to look at Cache. My daughter had a lot of trouble finding a suitable prom dress last year. She is small and slim, but very busty, and she found a number of beautiful, tasteful dresses at that store that worked for her shape. Any dresses cut for "juniors" were impossible, she just spilled out of them and looked terrible.

http://www.cache.com/prom

4 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

I am VERY modest. I have a large chest and still wore a strapless dress with no spillage or inappropriate skin. Not saying she should get strapless if she doesn't want it, just that you can go strapless and be classy. The key, is the bra. You want to get a bridal bra to wear under the dress. That will keep her in place and supported. No matter what dress she wears, it's a good idea to get a professionally fitted bra. There are tons of bridesmaid dresses that are halter and modest. Look at the David's Bridal and Alfred Angelo website and see if they have locations near you. Also search for bridal boutiques.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think you should look into adding straps to a strapless dress. This is generally very easy for a tailor to do if you can't do it yourself. You can add whatever style you want - spaghetti, thicker, or halter.

6 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Wow, my daughter wore a sweet, long flowing strapless dress to her Junior Prom last year, I wonder if anyone thought she was going to a WHORING 101 class? What a horrible thing to say. She also wears two piece swimsuits. Of course we live in modern day California not 1880 Victorian England where showing one's ankles makes you a slut.
There are plenty of more modest and conservative dresses out there but you probably will need to go online. Most stores don't carry anything beyond a limited selection of current popular styles, and if your daughter is larger than a B cup it's going to be even harder to find something off the rack, unless she's willing to shop in the women's section.

5 moms found this helpful
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L.N.

answers from New York on

i am speechless. maybe a burkha for her? there are so many beautiful dresses out there, strapless, with or without, sparkly, not sparkly, black, not black but really if you raised your daughters to be embarrassed of their bodies, than that's where your issue lies. not the dresses.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

try:
www.modcloth.com

Don't know what size your daughter wears, but they have nice modest dresses of reasonable prices.

4 moms found this helpful
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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Give your daughter a budget limit and go pick out her own dress with her friends. You've gone way TOO wild and crazy...unless you don't trust your own child.

3 moms found this helpful

J.O.

answers from Boise on

Go online, but your whoring comment was offensive. Over 90% of the dresses out there are classy. A simple "not my DD's style" would have been sufficient.

3 moms found this helpful

M.B.

answers from Tampa on

Have you tried a bridal shop? They have bridesmaid dresses that could work.

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

I totally understand what you're saying. Good for your daughter (& you) for being unwilling to accept something that doesn't work for her.

Two years ago my daughter found a lovely dress at Nordstrom. It was within our budget & very competitive with other stores that didn't offer nearly the same quality. It was a lovely halter style with slight beading (not tons of it & not sparkly & not crystals -- very understated but good accents). It was lightweight & chiffon-y. My little girl looked all of a sudden like a Grecian princess (with great elegance & taste, if I do say so myself).

I agree that bridal stores are a good option. As someone else said, looking online might help identify a place to go. If there's one near you, I can't recommend Nordstrom's enough. In addition to a great dress selection, the staff was very, very helpful.

3 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

David's Bridal has the dress for your daughter, the exact dress you are describing is what my friend wore for her small wedding. She said it was in the "fancy" bridesmades dresses and was able to be made in TONS of colors.

3 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

go "shopping" online and then you'll know what stores have what you're looking for. i S. david's bridal btw.

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G.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

How much time do you have before prom? If you've got a month or more, why not look at sewing patterns and talk to a seamstress about a custom-made dress? The price will be comparable to what you'd pay for a good dress off the rack (maybe less if you get lucky and find good fabric on sale), and your daughter would have complete control over the style, including the ability to ask for modifications to the pattern.

Also, if your daughter doesn't mind used/upcycled, she could get a thrift store prom dress and have a seamstress (or you, if you sew) rebuild it for her. That would probably be cheaper than a new dress, and it can be fun to do. For my first prom, my mom and I took a vintage '70's formal that had been hers and remade it to suit me. We spent a couple of hours and $25, and my dress looked great on me, and completely unlike anyone else's.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

My daughter got her prom dress last year at David's Bridal. If what the stores have don't fit your daughter's specifications, why not find someone who can make her one? Perhaps a high quality dry cleaning establishment would know of such a person to refer you to. Good luck

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Have you tried David's Bridal or somewhere like that? Or maybe you could try some thrift stores or craigslist if she doesn't mind used.

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Try going to Ross or TJ Maxx. They have a lot of stuff you don't see in the big malls. They have a lot of dresses, even long ones.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I understand what you mean. I used to go to the LDS church and we had monthly dances for the youth. Occasionally we would hold a more formal dress dance. We would send out a dress code to each parent and to each leader. They would include that the dress must have sleeves, not be low cut, not slit to the hiney, etc....the leaders were to not allow a girl to come that was not properly covered. They were supposed to drive them, the kids are not allowed to drive to the dances, the leaders are to arrange the rides for all the kids.

We always had at least 2 young women who had to either leave or wear a mans jacket over their dress. They would come in strapless or halters or some other style that was totally inappropriate for a young lady.

I know it sounds strict but I know that these young women grew up respecting themselves and didn't act like tramps. I know of one young lady who went to a local college after high school. She was at a football game one afternoon. A bunch of guys were treating all the women who walked by like chattel, they wouldn't let them pass if they weren't pretty and then they had to give them their phone number. They saw this young lady coming and they each and every one moved their legs and let her pass and said hello, how are you today XXXXX". She overheard one of the girls that were standing there trying to walk by when they let her go through, they asked why the guys let her go through without acting like that. They told those other girls that she was as lady and they respected her.

She always dressed modestly and never acted like anything but the lady she was and is to this day. She is also teacher her 6 children the same values and standards.

If you would be willing to order online there are so many sites that have modest clothing. I am going to list a few just in case some other moms would like that option.

*******************************************************
Here is an LDS site for bridal and prom dresses. It has gorgeous dresses.

http://www.latterdaybride.com/modest-prom-dresses.php

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This site has a couple of strapless dresses that I would not call modest but they are still pretty. The other 40+ dresses are all modest and beautiful.

http://www.bestbridalprices.com/prom-dresses-c-6.html?sho...

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This site has some pretty dresses too. They have a lot of bridal dresses but they can be ordered in colors too.

http://www.totallymodest.com/sub.php?CatId=49793#subtitle

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Davids Bridal says they have a section of modest prom dresses but it's down so I am just linking the main prom site to you.

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Browse_Prom

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I know there are many dresses out there if you'd be willing to travel, especially if you'd travel to Utah...lol. There are tons of dresses like you want at ZCMI mall.

If it comes right down to it you could make her a dress if you have any sewing skills. That way it would fit her exactly as you make it. If you can't sew perhaps you can look in the classified ads and find someone that sews.

2 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I don't know where you can buy locally but there are some elegant gowns out there.
Even if you won't buy online, here are a few to look at:

(this would look great with long white gloves)
http://www.promdressline.com/long-dresses/black-embroider...

http://www.promdressline.com/long-dresses/elegant-purple-...

http://www.promdressline.com/prom-dresses/navy-gorgeous-c...

http://www.promdressline.com/long-dresses/plum-shiny-sati...

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

There are little cover up dressy jackets and sweaters. Like boleros.

Our daughter had the same problem when she went to prom.. She found a cute top and wore.. Get ready.. Totally Shocking.. A pair of Pants.

She felt comfortable and looked great. It was funny to hear some of the other girls complain to their mothers.. She got to wear pants, why did I have to wear a dress? Hee, hee.

Maybe your daughter could find a cute top and wear a skirt..

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Don't shop in the juniors section. Dillard's and Macy's should have some in the ladies' department. I just got a long dress for a black tie event at Cache. I also got a long dress at White House/Black Market last year. Maybe you could go to a bridal shop, like David's Bridal? Bridesmaids dresses are usually pretty conservative:) Good Luck!

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S.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Have a dressmaker make one.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Look online. Ann Taylor has a very nice line of bridesmaid dresses she might like. Some are short and few are embellished to the nines. You may also be able to find a matching shawl or shrug for the dress.

We went shopping with my SD last year and while she's no shrinking violet and does like sparkle, there were a number of dresses she was horrified about. Like the one that was sheer when she put it on and it showed her underwear. Or the one that was so low in the back she couldn't wear underwear. Or the one that was so short it would put the "flash" back in flash dance....She quickly put those back and ended up with a strapless ball gown that while it wasn't my style, was not too revealing and suited her very well. I considered it classy.

You might also look in a vintage store or thrift store for older styles or you might get a dress with good "bones" and ask a seamstress to make alterations for straps or other nips and tucks to make your DD happy.

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T.T.

answers from Washington DC on

I was also going to suggest a bridal shop. You might also have some luck at places like Ross or TJ Maxx.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Is Fargo nearby? There's a David's bridal and they have prom dresses, here's the site

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Browse_Prom

1 mom found this helpful
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J.R.

answers from Davenport on

I would say look at Bridal shops and don't ask for the prom dresses, ask for bridesmaid dresses ( many of them may be more modest since they are usually worn in a church) , or make your own/have a seamstress make one, like someone else said. Buy a shrug to wear with it.

This one looks similar to what she wants, comes in lots of colors: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Soft-Crinkle-Chiffon-...

Also , for more modest one piece swimsuits look at sporting goods stores for actual swim -team style speedo suits, not "fashion" style swim suits - you will pay more for them, BUT they will last longer and stay in place on the body.

This site has lots of retro and usually much more classy/less revealing type dresses and swimsuits: http://www.modcloth.com/shop/fancy-clothing

Also Maurices, which is a chain store which also has an online site has some good suits, I actually prefer 2 piece, but TANK-ini, so my midriff is still covered, I like this one http://www.maurices.com/category/index.jsp?categoryId=184...

Also, Lands End has great modest suits for all ages.

Remember when you want good quality and modesty you may have to pay more for it, and you may have to compromise on not having as large a selection as people going with the trends.

Good Luck, I hope you guys find the prefect stuff.

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

I am totally with you! We were in the mall the night of the local sweetheart dance and it looked like the red light district had moved indoors due to the cold! I'm praying fashion takes a turn toward the modest before my 5 year old is prom age. I agree about looking at bridal shops for bridesmaid dresses. You might also try consignment shops. You can often find bridesmaid dresses that were worn once and are selling for a much cheaper price. Buying at a consignment shop vs a thrift store will usually have a nicer selection. Consignment stores are pretty selective in the quality of things they sell.

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

It sounds like you are looking for a "more traditional" dress. Try some of the consignment type wedding/prom dress shops in the area. You could probably get much more for your money as well. :)

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V.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

My niece just found a nice conservative dress at Deb. It has a halter and is long flowing chiffon fabric. The only embelishment is a small brooch. Not sure what else they had there, but it might be worth a try. She was able to order her size there as well and it was reasonably priced. Just an FYI for you and your daughter, almost every strapless dress comes with optional straps. At least the ones at bridal shops do. Good luck in your dress quest.

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A.W.

answers from Duluth on

Find a good seamstress & pattern & have one made. Or do it yourself.
My daughter went to six formal dances in high school & I made five of the dresses. I was NOT about to pay the price that the stores were asking. I also had her help me, it made her proud to know that she had one of kind dress & that she helped make it. Good Luck

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