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This is beyond the scope of what we can help with, I suspect. I'm not a psychologist, but I do teach psychology, so I have a decent handle on the basics. This could be any number of disorders. It's good that he's seeing a psychologist, but if he's not improving, it might be time for some serious intervention. I would call and talk to someone in pediatrics at McLean Hospital - they're reasonably close (Belmont, MA) and at the very least can refer you to someone. Good luck.

Never heard of this. What does the doc say about inappropriate places to poop and pee? The using and the hiding of knives is scarey. what does he say when you ask him why he does these things? Not being anywhere near a professional or ever seen this I think chemical imbalance of some sort. I'm sorry I can't be of help but keep us posted and I hope you find him the help he needs.

Get professional help now - you may need to do some inpatient work because this sounds VERY dangerous. You've been doing the right things, but this doesn't sound like a discipline issue, it sounds psychiatric. Not your fault! Brain chemistry is a complex thing and his may need help normalizing. Good luck!

Wow, I don't have any experience in this area. If he is already in counseling, I would not know what else to do. The grades sound like the least of the concerns. Can you ask his psychiatrist what to do? I would certainly put all my knives in a locked cabinet. What else is going on in his life? when did this begin? What is your relationship like? I wish I could help more, but I will pray for you. Hope that helps.

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Yes, you need a Professional assessment.
Guessing won't help.
He needs help.
This is not normal.
He sounds violent... and I would watch yourself.... too.
He is already damaging things in the home...
does he do drugs?

Get help, RIGHT away.

good luck,
Susan

Luckily I haven't had any of the experieces that you have. I'm so glad to hear your taking him for help, there's obviously something serious going on. None of the behavior that you described is considered "normal".

As far as the ipod, cell phone, and computer. You should find a place in the house to hide them so he can't sneek them back, or better yet remove them from your home.

Hang in there. Now that he's getting the professional help he needs, things should start improving.

Maybe he has Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Definitely get him some help and keep yourself safe. If you feel he is dangerous, maybe he needs some inpatient treatment.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

First of all, you are doing a good job and looking out for your son. I don't know what I would do in your situation either. The only things I could think of is that something has been happening that you are unaware of at school or otherwise that is making him behave this way or that he might have some sort or disorder. I don't think it is just a phase. It sounds like he is getting pretty dangerous with the knives. You may want to clear out the house of the knives while he is at school and switch to plasticware for awhile so that no accidents or injuries happen. I hope this gets resolved for you. Hang in there I know you must be one stressed and worried mother right now. Good luck!

I think there is much more to this then you have mentioned...Whether is is a result of bullying, drugs, insecurities, biochemical imbalances or psychiatric illness...you are doing a good thing by taking him to a "shrink". I cannot relate to what you are experiencing right now and I am sorry that it is happening. Here are the only reccomendations I can make:

Safety first. Please be sure that both you and he are safe and that he is not a danger to self or others.

If he is seeing a psychologist, you may want to consider having him see a psychiatrist that specializes in pediatrics. Talk to the pediatricion and the psychologists...they should be able to give reccomendations.

Finally, get counseling for yourself to, to help give you the tools you need to cope with this.

Take care, I hope things work out well for you both.

I never heard of these behaviors, I think it is good he is seeing a therapist, maybe you need to make sure you are also seeing a therapist if not his therapist.

I'm so sorry that you are having these problems with your son. I work with juvenile delinquents and there are frequently psychological issues intermixed with their legal problems. I know you don't live in the same area as me, but just in case you have similar services offered in your area, I thought I would let you know about a possible place to look for help. In the county that you live in there should be a Dept. of Human Services or Dept. of Child and Family Services. Most people think that the Dept. only offers services to parents who aren't taking care of their kids, i.e. addicted to drugs, etc. But, at least where I live, the Dept. will also offer help to parents who have children with problems that the parents feel that they are overwhelmed by. There is the option here to work with the Dept. voluntarily to get evaluations and treatment. I don't know what your situation is, but feeling overwhelmed can be so disheartening. Good luck.
K.

I'm a trauma psychotherapist and this sounds like it could be trauma related, or else psychotic behavior. he needs to see mental health specialists in these areas. these illnesses can be reversed. I'm at the post traumatic stress center in New Haven, CT, if you want to check us out. we have very good treatment outcomes, and can also do one time evaluations. ###-###-####. good luck!

I would take him to a pediatric hospital and have him evaluated. His behavior is scary. The knives and stabbing the walls is REALLY scary. Please, call the hospital first thing in the morning and talk to a specialist.

I'm going to guess he got a hold of your mamapedia account since there is now gibberish posted, but I did read your original request so here's my two cents: this behavior is not normal for a kid of any age. Some of it is downright dangerous, obnoxious, disrespectful etc. You say he looks and acts normal but obviously he is not acting normal. It could be drug use, you never know, or it could be mental issues coming out. I would seek professional help if he's not improving. Some people say it will pass, but do you really want to live like this right now? Even if he is just acting out, there has to be a reason behind it. Good luck, and I hope it passes.

why dont i see real words? or at least not english??

It could be worse. Boys his age do worse things than that. There is no doubt that he is hyperactive and also he is going through a lot of physical and mental changes known as adolescence. Adolescents (especially if there has been anything traumatic) often regress to a 2-year-old state. Also life is cyclical - the 'terrible twos', with disagreeing all the time, return in the teens. Part of the reason is that he is crying out for help. He has frustration, anxiety and confusion. He is going through an identity crisis. A shrink may not be the answer as that is a figure of authority. He will have some fear of authority figures. He is disconnecting the internet because he does not want you to contact authority figures and he is controlling you. This kind of behavior is common when there is not a supportive father figure around and no good role model. The problem is that he may become easily influenced by bad kids and led astray. A good grandfather is also very helpful.

What you could try is being calm and supportive. Buy cheap silverware, kitchen utensils from the Dollar Store and put away your good stuff. What is the cost of that compared to healthcare anyway? This activity shall pass. You need to be a better listener and not a criticizer or a nagger. He is pushing your buttons. Every time he gets a reaction or generates worry for you, he gets a little thrill, a little victory. You could try and do some creative activities together. You may be pleasantly surprised. For example buy some art supplies and learn drawing and painting together. Get together with writing supplies and put each others thoughts and feelings on paper. Try and get involved with his homework. Have you thought about hiring a tutor/father figure with experience with this? Probably a lot less costly than going to a shrink all the time and could be more productive.

If he is engaging in these serious behaviors with urine and feces and knives, it's time for much more investigation and a better diagnosis from a psychiatrist who specializes in adolescent behaviors. You are right to be concerned but I really think this is beyond your ability to control it by taking away privileges. If your child needs to be in a secure setting for some intensive therapy, as difficult as it is, I hope you will make the tough decision and get him the heavy duty help he needs. Please don't wait. This is not a phase.

My son had some of these behaviors as well. he is now 22 years old. he was always very good at hiding his emotions from his therapist who kept tellling me" he is normal".
I think that calling the pediatric services at McLean in Belmont would be a very good starting point.

You ARE doing the right thing!! I urge you to be cautious. If there are younger siblings in the house be very watchful of them. I might suggest some intervention from the police also.

sounds like he may need to be admitted especially if he is hiding knives. He probably isn't even aware of his bizarre behavior. Have you talked to him about it? Just say, I have noticed that something doesn't seem right. Are you feeling okay? Do you have an open dialogue with him? He may need meds and some major psychotherapy. Something seems really really off. And at this age, he may need special training to get him under control. Something is going on and you need to get to the bottom of it. It may be something you need help with too.

What does his psychiatrist or psychologist say? I have no idea what the problem may be, but you're wise to have sought counseling. If you aren't seeing some results or getting some good feedback, I would find someone else. These behaviors are very disturbing, and I know different therapists have rules about patient confidentiality, but you need some help and answers soon! Good luck. I know you must be scared and very upset. I have two young boys, and I can only imagine.

How has he unplugged the internet so you can't use it? Plug it back in! Have you met with school counselors? I wonder if they could shine any light on his behavior at school.

I'm sorry you are going through this. It's so hard to not have answers and not understand what is going on in your child's mind, especially when the behavior is so out of the norm.

I'm glad you're getting help. If your psychologist/ psychiatrist doesn't seem to know, maybe get a second on board, too.

Mostly I just wanted to write and say that I don't think you need to lock your self in your room at night and I it is an awful conculsion to jump through that your child might be ready to harm people. He has some issues, sure, and they are different than the normal teenage stuff. I would certainly exhaust all resources available ASAP as he is at an age where the brain chemistry changes considerably and intervention, if necessary, should be sought before patterns are formed. There are many things that can develop with puberty (for me, I started showing signs of narcolepsy -- I randomly fall asleep -- and it's just one of the things that take that long in life to develop) but with treatment can be controlled.

Also, it might be embarrassing or frightening for him. Surely he notices he's different or can't stop himself from doing these things and maybe that lack of control is hard for him to deal with. With therapy, perhaps he can learn to control these urges and modify his behaviors.

We're not equipped to give you advice on this one. I'm just sending you a hug and keeping you in my thoughts.

Best of luck to you.