Using a Lovey

My son just pick up on one. I didn't get him to take to one certain blanky, when he was an infant I switched out his blankets often to wash them but realizing after a while... I wanna say around 6-9 months that he take the blue blanket and just love on it, rub it on his face and make ahhhh sounds. He can go with out it, out of site out of mind but when he gets it or sees it he wades it up and rubs it on his face still... he is now 20 months.

My daughter has become attached to her lovey and my son had one when he was a baby. I just started grabbing the lovey when we snuggle and putting it next to them in their crib. For my son, he would rub his on his upper lip or chin while my daughter likes to rub the satin edges between her fingers. My hopes for the lovey was that my daughter wouldnt be so dependent on her binki, but now she's just hooked on both! Whatever helps her sleep at night!!

For my son I had a blanket that I put in bed with him every night that he really didn't attach to til he was 18 months old. He started clinging to it when I had my second son. Loveys are generally used as a security blanket. My youngest in now 15 months and still not attached to anything in particular.
My boys will put blankets over their heads too when they sleep and they have done alright. Your son should be to the point where he is rolling over and maybe sitting up. If they are not able to breath they should start fussing or move to get out of the situation. Something that you could do is make sure there is a baby monitor in his room so that you can hear him if he is struggling.
Take Care,
A.

We found our kids either attached or didn't, more on their own. Our son adopted a very heavy, huge blanket! To avoid that with our daughter, we gave her a little blankie in her crib each time she laid down. You're right, they will pull it over their face. We've never had a problem with that other than when our son was in the hospital on breathing treatments. I'm not sure I would encourage lovey use if your son doesn't seem to need it. It's much easier when a kid doesn't have something that has to go everywhere with them. Our first never had anything, our second's blanket is a pain, we limit the 3rd to in the crib, although it does go with us places if she's missing a nap, etc. GL!

I am a little perplexed on why you want to intentionally get him attached to something. If he is not on paci and falls asleep on his own then why add something to depend on? Is it not our goal to raise independent individuals? Self soothing and independent sleep is key to that end. So, if you are not trying to break him from paci, I would say leave the "loveys" alone. My son attached him self to a blanket at about 10 months old. But he does not need it every night. We just kind of let him decide when he “needs” it. And, it NEVER leaves the bedroom or the house.

Here's what we did - I shopped around for a lovey with silk - he seems to like the feeling of that on his face. He started playing with it on his own during diaper changes at around 5 months or so. We encouraged it with "peek a boo" games. Then we just started putting it with him when he slept so that it would be there when he woke up, and he all of a sudden started using it to comfort himself when he fell asleep or if he woke up at night. I worried a little about it being near his face too - but I observed him closely for several nights, and realized he moved a lot & the lovie is small enough it doesn't move with him. Now during peek a boo, he pulls the cover off his face on his own, which also makes me feek better. He's 5.5 months.

Hi L....

Laughing because one of the posters said something about kids will give it up on their own, or it gets lost or something. HA! I'm 32...I still sleep with mine; even though it's an imposter. I was looking at photos with my family last summer and I saw one of me with my blankey and I said "hey, that's not boo bankey..." My mom finally confessed that the other one got lost and the one I have now was a replacement...and it looked so different. :( Definitely, get a few of the same one...just in case.

Think about a small afghan (which is what I have)the nice thing is that it has holes in it naturally so you might worry less about it being on his face. (My mom only had afghans because she was terrified of suffocation).

Just my two cents.

If you want him to get attached to a lovey, you have to use it more than just at naps. With my son, I used the blanket he slept with and we just started taking it everywhere. When he needed comforting for anything, it was me plus the blanket. It worked well (almost too well -- we have to say goodbye to blanket when we leave home now and he's 4).

A couple of things to keep in mind for his lovey -- is it really sturdy? If you're not sure, get an extra one just in case this starts to fall apart. And, is it easily washable? Because it will get dirty, often if he really loves it.

And, if he can roll over by himself and is sitting up ok, then you probably don't need to worry about him getting his lovey stuck on his face at night.

You are on the right track, it is already something that he likes so basically now, just keep it around when he needs comfort. I made my son a blanket, I too was worried about the size and when I asked the pediatrician he did tell me the blanket was too big (it is 36 x 50 inches) but I was suprised when he told me that something just half that size would be fine to put in this crib with him, so your blankey/animal is probably just fine. I made a mini blanket that looked just like the larger one, we placed it in bed with him each night and always told him that it was "his" blankey, friend, Luvy. At night if he woke up upset, I would go get him, but I would make sure that blankey was right there with us. We started this at 6 months, he is now 15 months and he will calm himself at night, whenever I check on him, he is cuddled up with his blanket, it is the sweetest thing. So glad we did it.

I would sleep with the lovey to get your scent on it, and when going down at night give it to him, he'll start associating sleep with his good smelling lovey. My son puts it over his face, the pediatrician said to just move it off his face when you see it, but don't set your alarm clock to check on him and remove it from his face, he should be fine.

In my experience, this isn't something that you can make your child do or not do. Some children become attached to Lovey's and some don't. My oldest and youngest have their special blankets/animals that they want to sleep with, but my middle child could care less. Honestly, as they get older it's better if they don't have a Lovey, because on the nights that the Lovey is nowhere to be found, you have a nightmare on your hands- the child absolutely cannot go to bed without it. And heaven forbid you go on vacation and forget it at home. Ugh. While it is sweet to see your child attached to something, absolutely "needing" it to go to sleep is not necessarily the best thing.

As far as his age, I would probably wait a few months until he can sit up on his own easily before putting him to bed with anything more substantial than a regular blanket.

Good luck!

Our pediatrician said no lovey in the bed until a year, as it's a choking hazard. I would hold off a bit. 6 months seems a little too early to me. I don't want to scare you, but 6 months is still in the SIDs range. It took my daughter until she was about 16-18 months old to really show interest in a lovey & now she has about 6 of them, which are sometimes all in bed with her & sometimes she wants only one or two. Good luck!

Hi L.. Don't worry about all of these "suggestions" that you shouldn't "force" something. I completely understand why you want your LO to have a lovey. I'm surprised how opinionated people are on this matter! Who knew! Anyhow, my son needed something (a lovey) to help sooth himself at night because he WASN'T good at it and wouldn't take a paci. But either way, almost every book I've read on sleep says loveys are just fine and either kids give them up when they are ready or the lovey gets lost and that's that.

My son has the bunny version of your frog. He LOVES it and we actually bought two more, so we have three that we rotate around so that the one doesn't get totally worn out before it's time. He had a liking to it all on his own, but then I encouraged this bond by playing games with it (peek-a-boo, or just having the bunny give him kisses) and I would also let him hold on to it while he nursed. He is 9 months now and can sleep fine without it, but he does love it, and I love the smile he gets on his face when he sees it and holds it up to his face.

A note about blankets - my son, too, likes to put blankets on his face. He naps with a blanket and always did fine with it, so I tried it in his crib at night. He absolutely loved sleeping with it, but one night when I came in to feed him, it was wrapped around his head! Thank goodness he was ok, but I won't do that again (at least not until he's much older). You'll notice that the blanket part of the Bunnies By The Bay loveys (the brand that we have) is split in half so the blanket section isn't very big. I think that's intentional by the manufacturer so they can't suffocate themselves with it.

Anyhow... that's what we did. Good luck and have fun with your LO!

If he is sleeping OK without a "Lovey" I would suggest you encourage him to be independent sleeper, rather than encourage a lovey that at some point you'll have to break him of. My DD never had a lovey that she slept with as a baby and as a toddler she has had a couple of different animals that she may or may not take to bed with her, but I'm glad that I don't have to worry about her taking a blankie to kindergarten with her in the fall.

Why would you want to encourage attachment to an object like that?
If he develops an attachment, fine... but why promote something he'll have to wean away from later? Kids don't need to have an object like that to be happy.

Our first daughter developed an attachment to her blankie on her own, before age 1 I think. Our second and third daughters managed to get through infancy, toddlerhood and beyond without any such attachment happening.

My son has always had a liking for blankets. We have a nap blanket and a night blanket. He also has blankets at daycare, and we have had them in the car too. Luckily he doesn't seem particularly attached to a specific one, which is really nice, as anyone will work for him. In the mornings when I feed him, I will warm my feet in a blanket and lately he has been trying to take off with that one, which is a full size adult one. :) In general though, he does fine without one and it is mainly used during naps, night and car rides, or if he just isn't feeling well.
I wouldn't force anything, he will develop it on his own.

Luvies are fine for kiddos, but I don't think you need to force a "lovey" on a kid. If they need one, they will attach themselves to it all by themselves. And he may even attach himself to something else than you want him. I agree with purchasing a few of something he seems to be attaching to as they are hard to find if they get lost or destroyed, but let me tell you that I have 4 blankets that he is NOT attached to since I bought them too soon...should have waited a bit...and now I can't find one of his lovies as it was a gift from someone else!

Anyway, my 18-month-old never really attached himself to a "lovey" and would just take whatever soft blanket that was offered. However, since we started packing our house (we are moving soon), he has suddenly needed NOT only a blankey, but his "pooh bear" and "doggie" as well (pooh and doggie were just "friends" in his bed as he slept, not forced on him)! One day, he wouldn't go anywhere without this bouncy ball...so it can even change day to day...and we never had to take anything in the car with us, but lately he has needed at least a blankey, if not pooh and doggie as well or we have tears and/or a fit the entire time we are gone! I know it is because he needs some extra comfort right now with the move and will probably die down again once we get settled in our new house, but for now I'm not worried about the "lovies" issue, but for your sake, I would never PUSH the lovey issue...or you may have a school-aged kid still pulling his ratty blanket behind him as you beg him to leave it at home (happened with my sister...she had a HOMEMADE blanket that couldn't be replicated easily so by the time she gave it up in the 1st or 2nd grade, it was no more than a ratty rag...)!

S., mom of 18-month-old boy and another boy due Aug!

I agree with a lot of the moms. don't get your child attached to something if you don't need to. I used the binkie with my daughter but eventually stopped around 8-9 months, I just gradually stopped using it, and we lost some and just didn't replace them. I am doing this with bottles too, we have lost a few and aren't replacing. She only drinks out of a bottle once, maybe twice a day. She sleeps great through the night without loveys or binkies, she is 13 months now. Just my opinion though...you don't want to cause your child anxiety by getting them attached to things, then eventually taking them away.

I agree with finding three of that lovey, they can be hard to find later. Yesterday we just found one of the multiples that had been lost for two months.

We had a puppy blankie like you described we laid next to our son from the time he could control his rolling. Other than that and his sleeper bag, we did not do blankets till he was somewhere around a year.

He loves that blankie, we now limit it to bed and times he may not be feeling as secure, trips etc. We started that about a year. He has been attached to it since he was about five months.

Enjoy the time with him while he is so small, it goes by too quickly.

S.
mother to Kai
www.HomeWithKai.com