Update or New Question to "Can You Believe This"

Updated on September 23, 2010
M.!. asks from Boulder, CO
38 answers

I posted the other day about preschool/snacks/allergies. Well, I personally would prefer my child to eat a healthy snack, but there was a mother who was upset that b/c of the allergy list cupcakes and cookies would not be allowed. (My child is not the kid with allergies) Anyways, she was upset that the teacher suggested fruits and veggies as a snack vs cupcakes and cookies and do you know what she brought for a snack today?? Chocolate Suckers!!! It wasn't like it was a birthday or anything special going - her reply was that her child doesn't eat healthy things.

So, my question today is - since everyone else is/has made a big deal about these snacks should I also call the school and speak to them about it as well? I really don't want my kid eating suckers at 11 in the morning 3 days a week. I have no problem sending my own snack, but the school was/is supposed to be setup that each parent brings a snack for the class each day. I know a sucker isn't going to hurt my kid, and normally I would just keep my mouth shut, but since everyone is throwing in their 2 cents, should I go ahead too? School is only from 9 to 11:30 so for us (and only speaking about our family) I know my child would be just fine w/o a snack. Could I just suggest that he doesn't get one? I feel like I am being extremely petty over this, but like I said, since every other parent in the class is throwing in their 2 cents, I figured maybe I should too? What do you think? Just let it be and allow the kids to eat junk or speak up?

Thanks!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from Dallas on

What kind of parent believes that their child will not eat healthy things? Children eat what we feed them. If the child is not eating healthy foods it is because she is not offering them.

I would talk to the school and put together a list of acceptable snacks. Candy is not acceptable.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Personally, if I know my child eats healthy most of the time, an unhealthy snack would not bother me in the least.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Ya know... its really the school's responsibility and the Teacher, to talk to this Mom... and tell her.
But they can't 'make her' listen to them.
No one can.

If enough parents 'complains' to the school/Teacher... then they will do their best to talk to the parent.
Maybe they can say "no candy items" as well.... in their snack policy.
Then it is a "policy" about no candy... versus just 'targeting' her....

all the best,
Susan

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Well, how do you know it's going to be junk all 3 days of the week? I would tend to doubt that each parent that week is going to bring something junky. Most parents are reasonable and will respect the suggestions of the classroom. I don't think you should send a different snack or keep your child from eating the snack that is provided that day.

I would also not contact the school at this juncture. I would have a little faith in the teachers to see how they handle it. If this mother continues to make waves and bring candy I'm betting they will discuss it with her. If she's the only mother bringing in junk then I would let it go. If, like you fear, your child is being served more sugary/candy type snacks every day, then bring your concerns to the teachers in the classroom, which would be valid at that point, but until then just wait and see.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Allentown on

Yes, let them know you are for healthy snacks! Even if kids don't eat a lot of fruit and veg, there's cheese and crackers, yogurt cereal bars, yogurt covered raisins, berry or bran muffins...good heavens, I don't mind chocolate or candy as a party treat but to give kids that for a mid morning snack? They must be cranky and bouncing off the walls. Why on earth doesn't each mom send a snack for her own child? I want to know what my child is eating every day.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.1.

answers from Minneapolis on

What is this mother doing to her child by feeding him only junk food, 'he doesn't eat healthy things. Doesn't she know that obesity is a rising epicdemic among kids in the U.S.? It's scary when I go to the beach,walk into any mall or just seeing kids playing outside these days. More than half are over weight and some are nearing that obese mark.
The schools need to re-word their hand books and stress absolutely no unhealthy snacks and underline candy of any sort, chips etc. One of my kids preschools even went as far as to say no juice, too much sugar and not good for their teeth even if it were 100% juice, she said milk or water only. Most parents just did water and a healthy snack. That teacher was a hero in my book that year.

2 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Is this woman bringing in snacks every day? I highly doubt it. So, she probably will bring in snacks about twice a month. In the grand scheme of things it really isn't that big of a deal for your child to eat a sucker 2 days out of 30, is it?
Also, we so often tell our children NOT to follow the crowd, to speak for themselves, to not do something just because everyone else is doing it. So, are you following the advice or are you jumping into the middle of this because everyone else is giving their two cents??
Just two things to think about.
L.
(by the way, we have the same rules at our preschool with the allergies. I love that we will be having fresh fruits and veggies...but that's just me. Not every mom feels the way that we do)

2 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

The occasional junk food snack is going to ok. Maybe you could talke to the principal and just see what the guidelines are but I wouldn't make a big deal unless it becomes the norm.

Did she actually say that her kid doesn't eat healthy things? How unresponsible! The first thought that comes to my mind is "well mine doesn't eat junk food at 11 am!"

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from New York on

I'm not a fan of candy only because kids who don't eat it when they try it, they get hooked. My son never ate candy and when it was offered usually said no. Then last year in school, the kids got candy as prizes and I'll be darned if my son isn't a hersey lovin, lollipop sucking candy lover! I and other parents complained that candy isn't a healthy snack and why would the school provide it. Cut to the chase this year we all got notes on exceptable snacks and NO CANDY was typed like 3 times on the notes. The kids are only allowed fruits, veggies or crackers. I'm surprised your school doesn't have a no candy policy since it does take in to account everyone's allergies. I would put my 2 cents in and ask why candy is even allowed. You don't want your kids to get the taste for sweets if they don't because trust me we have no candy in our house except for Halloween and holidays, but when my son goes into someone elses house and they ask if he wants a snack he asks for chocolate. Argghhh

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.L.

answers from Topeka on

First of all I wouldn't let your child not have a snack that is part of class time following directions ,listening, time management..I send suckers along with a bag of items for birthday,Valentines,Christmas& Halloween they are passed out after class & then it is us to the parent rather or not they let their child have it,it doesn't matter to me if it goes into the trash but I highly doubt it..Now for the sucker as a snack & the mom denies that her child doesn't eat "Healthy"wow why would admit to something like that,our preschool is ran the same except for the allergies there is a backup snack or snacks for those with allergies.We aren't allowed to send in sweets as a snack or Kool Aid type drinks only 100% juice,Milk Or water..If you feel that it is necessary contact the director of the preschool asky "why was a snucker a snack? It is stated in the handbook "Healthy Snacks"How often is junk being sent to class that the children are consuming?

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Dallas on

I don't blame you for being irked. I would be too! Not only is that "junk" it really wouldn't fill up a hungry child. I would classify it as a "treat" not a "snack." I have a feeling the teacher was probably not real thrilled with it either.

Would it be possible for the teachers to "suggest" a snack for each parent to bring. At my children's preschool, they have a list of the items they want brought for a particular week, then you sign up for the week that has the items you wish to bring. ANY change to the recommended snacks has to be cleared with the teacher/director in advance. All of the items at our school are healthy snack items that take into consideration any food allergies. I wonder what that mom would do at my preschool. Our kids aren't allowed to bring cupcakes even on their birthdays. They celebrate with ice cream, fruit or cookies (the sugar cookies with the ridiculous frosting are banned as well). I like it... it helps my super-picky son see that other kids do eat the stuff his mom tries to push him to eat.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Throw your two cents in! Chocolate suckers or suckers of any kind is not a snack. It is a special treat. That makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.B.

answers from New York on

Absolutely not ok! If everyone else gets their say so do you. I would be outraged! The teacher should not have served suckers as a snack...ever! i would be talking to the school today!
good luck

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

Now that you have explained that the snack is for everyone, my feelings about this other mother has changed. I think you should definitely say something. This mother is crazy if she thinks that a candy is a snack.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from San Antonio on

a sucker? That's nuts. Kids actually need nutrition during snack time. Call.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I am so thankful that our class does not have these kind of issues. This mother feels like she is making a point. She has won, her child got junk. She sees these rules as silly and singling out her child (if he in fact doesn't eat anything but junk). I can see it as irritating and it would bother me. If you don't want your child to have junk, just let the teacher know. The other side to this though, how will your child feel about watching all the other kids enjoying their chocolate suckers while he has broccoli to munch on? I don't agree with most of the snacks other parents bring to our preschool. Today my child came home excited about the oreo cookies and kool aide they had...this mother bought individual packages with SIX cookies in them. I would never allow that at home. (My favorite was the dad who brought chocolate covered donuts dipped in sprinkles and huge chocolate milks) We simply use snack time to talk about healthy choices and "sometimes" foods. I try to do it without being negative towards the other parents, just matter of fact. Besides I think many parents get tunnel vision..."We never allow this at home, I thought it would be a fun treat!" On our snack days we make healthy choices. Yesterday we brought string cheese and little bottles of water...his teacher thanked me profusely for bringing something other than cookies and cakes.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I am one of the ones who answered the previous post saying that my kids would not eat veggies and fruits. However I would not want them eating chocolate for a random snack either! I am all for treats in the school and think that the "food police" have gone way too far in outlawing all birthday and holiday treats but I do think the food given for a daily snack should not be anti-nutritious. To me, candy is just that. Even when you bring cookies or something at least there are some real ingredients involved. There are so many innocuos snacks out there like pretzels, goldfish, graham crackers that little kids do all like to eat its crazy that it becomes such a big deal.

I personally would not forbid my child to eat the chocolate because I wouldn't want him to feel funny about it. I would, however, speak to the director and ask what the deal is with chocolate suckers for a snack.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.B.

answers from New York on

you are absolutely not being petty by saying that you prefer that your child does not have candy as a snack!

2 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Like most other life long habits started in childhood, healthy eating starts at home. It is unlikely that having a chocolate pop for snack time at school will scar your child in anyway if she's already in the know that it's not a good choice (and btw, nothin' wrong with a little chocolate now in again, actually good for you in some ways, and in extreme moderation). Why not just let it go and be above it all, after all you and your child KNOW better!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I would probably let it go. She won't be providing snack but maybe 3 times a month if that.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

1 mom found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

in my opionion, it has become a bigger deal than it's worth, but if the parents cannot be adults, then the kids need to start brown bagging it if snack time is such a big deal. Don't exclude your child from the snack time, will be like a punishment to your child for something they have no control over.

if the teacher didn't specify what kind of snacks to bring...then send what you want to send, problem solved.

1 mom found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Detroit on

If this isn't something that everyone is doing and this person isn't the only one bringing snacks in regularly, then I'd leave it alone.

I'd just send in my kids a snack I packed for the days this person is 'in charge' of snacks. Where my kids go to school, if you send an 'inappropriate snack', it gets sent back home. I personally wouldn't have an issue with my kids having one sucker a day... I know they're eating healthy for the most part.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Detroit on

Let it be, sounds petty to me. Please don't throw in your 2 cents just to do it. Save your gripe for when something really important comes up. I agree that suckers aren't what I would want my kid to eat either, but it is not often and there is no reason to not have your kid included. Also the school doesn't need more trouble, they are trying to do their best without causing any family to feel uncomfortable. I feel bad for the kid, who hasn't been taught about healthy food, but really if the kids are all happy in preschool that is what really matters.

Really if your kid gets an unhealthy snack only when that parent brings one then thats pretty good. trust me I have been through this, with my vegan kids and was astonished how much junk other people feed their kids but I've had to relax about it in certain situations. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

1 mom found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

We do this in my daughter's preschool class also... One child a class provides, snacks and drinks.
Today the snack that was brought in was rice krispie treats, and apple juice. My daughter simply told her teacher she is aloud to eat that, and had a juice box and sat in the library area and read books. If your child knows what they are allowed I wouldn't worry.
That being said I think it is rude to bring snacks for a group of children not knowing what they are allowed to have. My daughters class doesn't have any food allergies, so on Tuesday I am providing a yogurt and trail mix, and little bottled waters.
Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.Y.

answers from Dallas on

I would take a pole with the other parents in your child's class to see how they feel and work with the majority and/or suggest other snacks with the moms.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.S.

answers from New York on

I try my best to instill healthy eating habits in my son, and I annoyed when he goes to day care and gets exposed to unhealthy foods. I think that it is selfish, obnoxious, and ignorant of this mom to just ignore a teacher's recommendation for snack and then just bring in whatever she wants, becuse HER child does not eat healthy foods. Where is the respect for the teacher's requests? Or the other children in that class?

I think you should definitely say something! I do. I don't allow my son to be fed junk by his school; I simply say, we don;t eat these things at home, please, I am asking that she not be allowed to eat this today. If you want to make it easier: " I brought in my daughter's snack, so when the others are eating, she can have this instead." So it is a no brainer for the teacher to just give what you brought from home.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from New York on

just call the school or let the teacher know that you are happy about the healthy snacks.. You bring up your child with healthy stuff... so you hope that all parents will try to go along with it. Tell the teacher that someone like the school nurse should talk to this parents who is making trouble... because you don't want to see your child get candy for a snack. As for the allergies.. tell the school you totally understand.. but you hope others will too. I think this is a good way to say it... good luck.. as your children and other children get into grade school the policies become even stricter.. like no peanut butter sometimes... or peanut free areas in the cafeteria.... so this other parent better grow up!!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Oh my goodness! I just read your post from the other day and I'm shocked! What kind of parent becomes livid over the suggestion that children should be eating fruits and veggies?? Wow! My advice is to speak up! You absolutely have the right to add in your 2 cents because if that woman is providing absolute junk that your child will be consuming then it becomes your business. Like you said, an occasional sweet isn't going to hurt your child and I wouldn't forbid him/her from eating it, but the fact of the matter is that this parent is going out of her way to be difficult and side-step the conscientious suggestions of the teacher and no child needs to be munching on candy at 11am. Candy is a treat not a snack.

My 4yr old is in a pre-K program this year and the school provides the snacks, but if a parent wants to bring in food to share with the class then there is a list of acceptable foods. I assure you that candy is not on the list. Some things my son has had for snacks are wheat crackers with cheese, graham crackers, baby carrots, mini bagel with peanut butter, and diced fruit. I think that seeing healthful foods offered in a classroom setting reinforces what I teach at home about making good food choices. (A side note: there are two children with food allergies in the class-- one is diabetic and the other has a dairy allergy-- and it is up to their parents to provide appropriate snacks for them rather than restricting the entire class.) Anyhow, if that mother has chosen for her child not to eat healthy things, then that's her own failure in my opinion, and it shouldn't affect the rest of the class. Best of luck!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Boston on

I would speak up. The occasional chocolate snack is OK but if it becomes a habit for all parents just to bring in a bag of candy or chips and such, then all nutritional value goes out the window. In our preschool it was also suggested for it to be healthy and simply bringing a bag of nachos or herschey bars would never have been accepted. Maybe make a list of suggestions? I hated to cook or bake for snack so I would bring a bag of carrots and mini-corn muffins (store bought), or saltines and baby-bell cheeses and grapes, or rice cakes and fruit cups, or go-gurts and graham crackers. There are so many options that do not require much effort yet are a lot more healthy than a candy bar! I am with you and would speak up to the teacher and / or the principal.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.O.

answers from Portland on

I do not agree with having chocolate suckers for a snack.

BUT, I do want to suggest that maybe this woman makes poor food choices for herself and others due to economic reasons or lack of education on nutrition. I am sure it is less expensive to buy processed snack vs. healthy ones for an entire classroom. And then throw in food allergies, it can be overwhelming for a parent to navigate the choices within her budget. Some people just have never put thought into reading labels thoroughly, and I really don't find them at fault in a way...advertising is geared to make you NOT look at the label on processed foods.

I am in favor of talking to the teachers, but not as a way to scold the parent. I would want the teacher's support in finding resources, like nutrition education or finding ways to afford healthy snacks. Someone mentioned Head Start below, and they help parents with these resources.

I think that with the energy that is being spent on being upset at her, you could organize a parent education presentation for your school. I just prepared one a few months ago and would be more than happy to give you an outline of what was presented if you would like. The presentation was interactive and was called "Eating Healthy on a Budget".

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

wow, that lady is a little off! If I really believed that she was fundamentally opposed to healthy food - my question would be more like - should I call child protective service to go check her cabinets and make sure her child is being properly cared for??? I hope she is just lashing out at the pc police, not an actual nutjob.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Dallas on

So every parent brings a healthy snack and they all share? Then one mom refuses to bring a healthy snack therefore punishing everyone's child? The ironic part is that she is trying to keep her child from eating healthy but yet every other mom will give only healthy to her child. Does she not see this side of the equation? I bet by the end of the year her child will be eating healthy in class thanks to the other parents. Be proud you will show her child how to eat healthy. But I would politely explain to the teacher that you would like your child to refrain from this particular parent's snack choices until she can make better choices. Don't go over board on it. I'm sure if the teacher explains that she will not have to bring so many suckers because the other parents have declined her snack, she will get the hint. Or let the teacher save the extras as rewards for the year. Either way, I'm sure the school is not happy with this parent.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.A.

answers from Chicago on

Well here's my 2 cents! You say all the other moms are getting involved, so maybe you should too. If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you follow? My guess is no, so just leave this alone. Yes, the mom is an idiot and is setting a really bad example for her kid, but the occasional sucker is not gonna hurt your child who normally eats healthy. You are being a bit dramatic as she is not providing snack three times a week, so your son is not getting suckers three times a week. And if you want to be really picky, what is the medical, nutritional difference of eating chocolate at 11am versus eating it 6p after dinner? Actually by eating it at 11am, he has time to work off that sugar and you can brush his teeth when he gets home. What I am trying to get at is this---the woman is being ridiculous and everyone knows it, no need for you to have to state the obvious. With a woman like this, trust me that if you give her enough rope, she will hang herself eventually. I wouldn't make a big crusade over a sucker and try to keep the big picture in perspective. Best of luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I'd send my own snack for my kids. I don't allow my children to have candy like that. Maybe they'll have the kind from Sprouts once in a blue moon.

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Can't you just opt your child and yourself out of providing snacks for everyone and just send him with his own healthy snack every day?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Dallas on

They need to just make everyone bring their own snack every day at school. If I had a child with food allergies, I wouldn't want my kid eating someone else's food anyway. What if they had just eaten a handful of peanuts, then put the snacks in a bag?

If you want to speak up, then I think you could suggest just making everyone bring their own snack. The teacher could have a bag of pretzels or crackers or something safe that could be used when someone forgets to pack their kid a snack. HTH!

D.M.

answers from Denver on

LOL! I am sure that this Mom does NOT want her daughter have rickets or bone weakening. I suspect she's being a pain because she doesn't "believe in" the allergies.

My suggestion is that
1) You and your daughter list out what healthy foods she like best AND
2) When that parent is the snack provider, you send something from that list with your daughter and let the teacher know that she brought her own snack for the day.

I bet these teachers are NOT happy about morning candy either nor are they having a good time fielding everything. They MUST protect the kids with allergies. I am SURE the will appreciate you simply handling it graciously.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions