UPDATE: My 4 Y/o Asking About Difference Between Boys & Girls

Updated on April 28, 2010
L.S. asks from Los Angeles, CA
7 answers

My son has for a long time been able to decipher between a girl and boy. However, recently he asked me if I have a “pee pee” like he does. I told him no, girls don’t have “pee pees” like boys do. He asked to see mine. Well of course I said NO and that I didn’t have one. He asked if he could please see what mine looked like and asked how I went to the bathroom! I attempted to explain as best I could, in 4 y/o language, how a girl’s body works. He seemed satisfied until the weekend when we had to go use a public bathroom. I had him in the stall with me and as I was going he asked “Mommy can I see your “pee pee”?” “Where is it coming from?” As I’m typing this I’m laughing but goodness at the time I was thinking “why am I not prepared for this??!!!” If someone could hear his questions what would they think? LOL I hurried up and redirected him which was easy since we were at a park for a birthday party.

So my question is how do you explain to a 4 year old the difference between boys and girls in those terms? What is appropriate at this age? I want to be prepared next time he asks! =-)

UPDATE: I guess I should add that my son sees me naked all the time, we've taken showers together and he always goes into public bathroom stalls with me. My question was more about if it's approriate to explain to a 4 y/o how I would explain body parts to an older child =-) I did feel funny about him wanting to "see" my "pee pee". LOL My kids are VERY open with me about everything. I have an awesome relationship with both of them.

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So What Happened?

Thank you ladies! Funny that everytime my kids have certain questions my answer will be "Let's look in a book". Guess I wasn't thinking straight! LOL
I'm going to get him a book today!

More Answers

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Listen to Ina G. - she said it perfectly.

It's only a body part. My kids never had to ask this question, because by the time they were 4, they had seen me naked many times - we had taken showers and baths together, they were in the bathroom when I went pee, etc.

I still remember my 2 year old son sitting in front of me on the floor one time when I was going pee, and pointing to me and saying, "what's that?" I said, "it's mommy's vagina." He said, "ooh, yuk." LOL.
If you're too private for a 4 year old to see you - it's definitely time for a book.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Chico on

Hi L.,
There is a series of books with good drawings and descriptions written for different age groups which you may want to check out. I found them at Barnes ans Noble.
"It's Not the Stork" recommended for ages 4 and up, "It's So Amazing" ages 7+, and "It's Perfectly Normal" ages 10+ by Robie H. Harris.
When my oldest daughter was 4 I came across the book for 7+ and read to her the parts I found appropriate for her questions at the time. I appreciate the realistic drawings of bodies at different stages of life. We referenced that book several times until she was old enough to read other books on her own.
Best wishes, K.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

When my son was in Preschool, they asked each parent to read the book Why Boys & Girls Are Different: For Ages 4-6 and Parents (Learning About Sex) by Carol Greene and then read to their child. It really made it easy. There's a book for girls and a book for boys. It's part of a book series that addresses this as well as future questions. Hope this helps. Here's a link:
http://www.amazon.com/Why-Boys-Girls-Are-Different/dp/075...

1 mom found this helpful
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H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Indeed, what a precocious boy! LOL;-)

I have a couple of general anatomy books (for college level) that explain reproduction with pictures. My daughter and I have looked at these together and talked about the different parts of the body including the different between boys and girls. She would look and ask questions and then get bored and move on.

I haven't had to do this, but I also know there are a few good kids based books out there that help explain these things at a level that kids understand and relate to. Perhaps seeing if you can pick one or two up for him would be helpful.

Blessings,
H. S.

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A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

If you are uncomfortable showing your bodyngo to thelireary and get an an anaamony book and show himpictures they grow up so fast raised 4 and noe have 7 grandchildren A. no hills

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Good morning, I don't think a mom should take her son in the stall with her while she is using the bathroom, I have two sons (Now Grown) but I never took them in stalls with me. Girls have a pee pee and boys don't, we taught our children early about all their body parts so they could tell us if something hurt, great detail is not necessarry. I let my husband explain to the boys what they have. J.

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R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Well, I am in a similiar boat with my 3 1/2 year old boy ---same questions. I did not show him mine either, but told him that is how God made us. When he asked, "Why did God make us this way?" I said I would explain that to him when he was older...it worked for the short term. I am glad you asked...I want to hear others answers as well!

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