Unemployed Spouse

Updated on October 22, 2009
K.N. asks from Mickleton, NJ
9 answers


Anyone else dealing with an unemployed spouse? We are approaching a year since he was laid off...he held an executive position in banking. I went back to work FT. Feeling anxious and just "mad" about the whole situation.

What can I do next?

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answers from Erie on

yes, we should talk!

I am trying to be sensitive to my hubby's depression and his anger and helplessness over all of this, but that means i have to stuff down my own feelings. You bet i'm mad, and so lost and upset myself, but my kids don't deserve to have two parents having a pity party. He is starting to pull out of the depression ( please don't suggest medication in this situation) But now he is back to spending, not much, but $5 here and there, and i am so ticked because it's like I am the one suffering for his spending and not saving enough to get us through this in the first place. I have always been very frugal and now that I am the one bringing in the money its' even worse. So i hear you, and i hope we can both see the good of this situation, there has to be something, right?!?!

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answers from Pittsburgh on

My husband got fired a few months ago. I already worked ft so was hoping to get some help around the house. Yeah right! He stays up late and gets up late and does nothing around the house until I throw a huge fit about it! I, like so many other women out there, feel your pain! The really bad thing was that I was gonna give my boss my notice the next week to be a SAHM! Good luck!



answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi K.,

In today's world, the best thing for your husband would be to start his own business. There are many businesses out on the internet but you want to be careful and check them out completely. Here is a web site that will give him full details on a home business that has changed hundreds of families life styles. He may or may not be interested but it won't cost him anything to look at www.howtoblastoff.com.

L. Dille


answers from Allentown on

Hi, K.:

There is more to your situation than the economy.

Find a Co-Dependence Anonymous support group near where you live and start practicing the principles.

(Setting Boundaries is one of them) www.CoDA.com

Good luck. D.



answers from Philadelphia on

my husband was laid off last february and is still unemployed. R u mad at ur husband for still not having a job, or just the situation?? My husband and i fight all the time about him not working. i feel like he should take any job he can get, as long as he is working, he doenst feel the same way. I also starting working more than i was before once he got laid off and this made me even more angry, because i always wanted to be a stay at home mom but was told we couldnt afford it. Now hes practically a stay at home dad and i am working almost FT, ( i was part time before) It is a very frustrating situation!!


answers from Pittsburgh on


The situation is definitely frustrating. It took me over a year to find full time work. This is an excellent time for your husband to go back to school. Many colleges are offering free training or classes. A degree is necessary in this economy, IMO. If you're still feeling mad, I recommend seeking counseling for the both of you. You two need to work on finding practical solutions instead of getting mad. Also, looking at your finances is essential. See what you can live without. For example, do you really need cable tv? Do you need a home phone and a cell phone? Little changes like this helped my family save money during our hard times. If you ahve considerable debt, a financial advisor that deals in debt consolidation may help. Good luck.



answers from Philadelphia on

Welcome to my world. My hubby lost his job in April due to the company closing, so no hope of getting called back. I have and always had worked f/t because we are a two income family, so when his UC runs out, we'll be running in the red :( Like some other posters, I would like him to take any decent paying job that he can do, but he refuses. He wants to do what he did at the last job, which btw, was his dream job! Once the UC runs out, I know we'll be fighting all the time, because we went thru this before for 4 years!! My job isn't the most secure anymore (sm. family run business) and I told him that if I lose my job, that he's working f/t and I'm taking time off to be with our 5 yo daughter! But I think that's just a pipe dream...sorry to vent.

Anyway, is your husband looking for work? That could help the situation if he's actively looking. Can your family afford for just you to be working? If so, in time he should find a job that suits him and then you can be the stay-at-home parent again.

If you want to talk further, just e-mail me at ____@____.com.




answers from Pittsburgh on

My husband has been laid off for six months. We are coming close to our insurance running out. He works in a steel mill. He is the next one on the list to be called back. He even took his physical, but an explosion rocked the plant and now it does not look like he is going back anytime soon. It is very upsetting to be that close to going back to work, yet so far away.
He complains about the money, but refuses to look for a part time job. Very fusterating!



answers from Philadelphia on

Hi K.,

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. If interested, I have a home based business that may help your situation if you are interested. Here is a video link that explains the business. If you want to know more, please email me or give me a call. If not, good luck and I hope that things start turning around for you!



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