Two Year Old Insanity

You must be frantic! If you're angry take many deep breaths, say over and over, "I am calm and I can handle this. Then grab that little one and hold him until he calms down.

I agree that a "screaming, raving, defiant aggressive two year old should not be locked in their room. They are likely to hurt themself and destroy the room. The time to shut them in their room is at the very beginning when they're protesting in a mild way. "I know you don't want to go to bed but it's bed time" with a hug and "good night". When he comes out calmly put him back to bed without saying anything for as long as it takes.

I suggest locking a 2 yo in their room increases their anger or causes fear because they are unable to understand what you're doing.

Why is he this out of control? I suggest by this time, he's overly tired and needs you to take control this minute. He's now more agitated because he's scared. He knows he's out of control and so are you. He needs to know that you will take care of him by taking control of him. Gamma G explained very well how to hold him. Do this calmly and without anger.

I rarely recommend spanking/hitting but because he is hysterical I suggest you do swat him on the butt to break the action. A quick swat to surprise him, done calmly, without anger.

If this behaviour is frequent, I urge you to get help. He may have something like a sensory processing disorder. This behavior can also go along with being on the autism spectrum. The school district will evaluate and help you with treatment for free.

Whether or not he's on the spectrum you need to learn more effective ways to parent/discipline. I suggest readind Love and Logic by Foster Cline and 1-2-3 Magic. There are many good books outlining different ways to parent. You can find them in the library. His actions may be more than a discipline problem. Have you read the chapters on meeting a childs needs? Does he have naps and a calming consistent bedtime routine at an early enough hour that he's not overly tired?

BTW I suggest you don't understand the uses of time out and ignore until it goes away. A time out doesn't usually work at two. And if it might it would only work when the child is calm enough to sit for 2 minutes. You have to keep putting them in one place until they stay there voluntarily for 2 minutes. Not likely to happen with a two yo.

And ignoring it only works for such behaviors as whining. One cannot ignore active misbehavior. How is a baby/child to learn how to behave if they are led to believe what they're doing is OK because you're ignoring it.

I urge you to join a mom's group for support. Parenting is the most difficult job in the world.

I just looked it up online and a pretty reputable source says that locking the door so that the child will not wander around the house at night is fine. Now, they do suggest opening the door once the child is asleep and if s/he is screaming, look in every 15 minutes to tell him/her that s/he needs to be quiet and stay in bed before you can open the door.

Good luck. Sounds maddening!

I really hope you are asking this as a rhetorical question with tongue in cheek.

He sounds over tired.
Put older brother to bed (give him ear plugs if you have to), turn out all the lights, go sit with your 2 yr old in his room with a night light, hold him till he's too exhausted to move.
You use ear plugs too.
Time outs are for older kids.

i guess because locking up a barely-verbal toddler who has not yet learned to control his passions is a terrible, cruel idea.
why does he have access to his older brother?
if your two year old is indeed so raving, defiant, aggressive and in control of the entire household, you really really need to get him evaluated and get some professional help, hon. my toddlers had occasional epic tantrums, but they never got to rule the roost.
and yours is too young for time-outs.
there's nothing wrong with seeking help if you need it. go get this little guy evaluated now, and start to take back the reins of parenthood and running your own home.
khairete
S.

Probably because it's not okay to lock a child in a room.

I don't know how to help you. Is this what he does every night? What else happened during the day. My children never acted like this and I have no idea from your description how you got to that point.

Okay C., let's take a moment here and assess what's REALLY going on here.

Your son is actually not quite normal. There, I said it. You aren't going to get answers in this manual you are reading. Where you WILL get answers is by having him evaluated.

You need to start with your ped. If he or she doesn't help you, find one who will. You need an assessment with a play therapist. If your child doesn't talk well or understand/follow simple instructions, you need an evaluation with a speech therapist. NOT just for speech, but for language assessment, receptive and expressive.

If he isn't communicating well, he will take it out on you in spades with poor behavior. If he is awake at 10:30 because he cannot sleep, runs around the house all day and won't pay attention to you, he very well may have ADHD. That would be one reason why time out does not work on him.

I'm sorry, but just locking him in his room is not a solution to this problem. I DO believe in putting an older kid with a tantrum in his room and not letting him out until the tantrum is over, UNLESS he is on the autism spectrum. The reason is that an older kid has the capacity to learn that if he tantrums, no one will watch him and there's no point in the tantrum. Your son won't learn this. There is a possibility that your son is on the spectrum, and you need to find out if he is. If he is on the spectrum, no amount of leaving him locked in his room will help.

You need specialized advice. You need evaluations. ACCEPT that you need help. If there is a children's hospital in your area, start with them. The play therapist will be very helpful and will report to the ped what steps to take in assessing your child.

Good luck.

Is this usual behaviour? Try taking him swimming after supper/before bed. It tires them right out. Put him straight into his pj's at the pool. He'll go right to sleep when he gets home. Always worked for my guys!

Because people like you read their books?

Remove the light from the ceiling fixture so he can't turn the light back on. If you don't have any blackout curtains, you need them. Remove all light and sound emitting toys. No sugary food or drinks after 6pm. TV off 1 hour before bedtime. Do the bedtime routine, speak softly, read a couple books, tuck in, lights out. I locked the door (turn the knob around) until they were asleep. It's not cruel or abusive. It's reducing distractions.

Best of luck!