Two Year Old Bites and Scratches

**Kids this age, do what is called "Parallel play" They do not yet 'know' how to play interactively. It is developmental. They don't know yet, social 'rules' nor do they even have "impulse control" fully developed yet.

Toddlers do not know, automatically, 'how' to manage their emotions. Emotions are not even fully developed at this age.
So you have to arm him with 'skills' on HOW to manage his emotions...as well as encouraging communication and expressing himself, verbally... so he can TELL you, what is irking him, or even good/happy feelings. TEACH him the 'names' for feelings/emotions/frustrations.
ie: happy, sad, grumpy, frustrated, tired, hungry etc.
Actually give him the words to 'practice', because otherwise a child does NOT know what to say. ie: "I'm grumpy... I need quiet now...", "I don't want to share.... right now...", "I am frustrated because...." , "I'm tired...." etc. THEN, with him, redirect him to something else... and TEACH him alternate ways of doing things or handling things.

Of course, he has to learn, that biting/scratching is NOT good. Tell him hands are not for hitting/scratching... but for hugging.

Unless a toddler KNOWS alternate ways of handling situations... just mere punishing/time outs/scolding, will not make much sense to them. You need to teach them... "how".... to navigate... themselves.... in frustrating or happy moments too. Giving the child SKILLS and teaching them.

What if: someone told you to row a boat around some obstacles and then go to the finish line by a certain time? Well, unless you practiced it and had a 'strategy' about it and someone taught you the basic skill of rowing and steering a boat... you would not know "instantly" HOW to do it, right? Nor would you do it efficiently or like an 'expert' who has been doing it for YEARS. And what IF you had to row the boat down some rapids???? You would not know how.
Well, same for a Toddler... who does not yet, know how to MANAGE their emotions nor frustrations... nor social 'rules.' So you need to teach him, that. AND practice WITH him about it. Not only, when something happens. Role play with him.... to practice....

It is a stage... but unless you teach him skills about it and how to manage it.... and his frustrations... scolding/punishing/time outs, will not work, conclusively.
You need to give a child wings to soar.... BY giving him SKILLS and teaching him HOW to navigate himself, with his emotions and social situations. Not just 'expecting' that a Toddler will know how, by themselves.

My son, from only 2-3 years old, could tell me "Mommy, I'm grumpy...", "Mommy, I don't want to play with sister now..." etc. And I respected that and praised him for it... because even if 'grumpy' he could EXPRESS that in words, articulating himself/his emotions... and seek out alternatives. For example.

A toddler is like a rock collecting moss... practice with him. And as time goes by, he will learn and attain better skills for handling his emotions/social situations.

all the best,
Susan

I agree you have to teach him the words he can use, I'm mad! I don't want to share! I dont want to play! and later "I'm excited, frustrated, disappointed." Read books about feelings.
And keep his nails VERY short trim them and file them so he cant scratch any one. Keep putting him in time out, stay close to him when he plays around other children, this will get better as his language improves

My two yr old was hitting at pre-school. We started talking to her about how that made the other person feel. "hitting makes ___ sad" and "hitting your friends is not nice." Teach empathy for others. Try not to concentrate on why they hit (at two it's normal). This gives the aggressor the attention when it should be on who got hit. Try "See you made ___ cry, you hurt ___ feelings."
If she hits me I tell her "mommy won't play with you when you hit" we go straight to time out no warnings. Then I tell her she has to find something else to do... i.e. ignore her. Saying this makes her more upset than the time out. They do not do time outs at pre-school so we have to teach the emotions and proper actions. We tell her "be nice" which to her means a gentle rub on the face (some say "be sweet")... a nice gesture. And how others feel. We are working on "I'm sorry."
I agree with the others as well, talk about proper use of emotions. "You cannot hit but you can kick this pillow." Show them that you are angry and you kick the pillow, they will follow suite. Don't forget to acknowledge these feelings... "I know you are grumpy about ___ I am sorry." "I am sorry you are mad at mommy for turning the TV off" .... no "buts" end it there. Just acknowledge and offer support. Hug it out, give them something to squeeze, a pillow to hit against the floor and have at it with them. Before you know it you will both feel better.