Two to Sleep

Hi K.,
Perhaps consider just bringing the older one in bed also. I know many posters here don't agree, but many families DO have success with a family bed. With daddy away from home irratically and seeing the new baby with you, your older child may really just want and need more of your time. It sure is hard to spread yourself around, but he might really get comfort from just snuggling up to you while you are nursing the baby. You could even just begin that way and move him back to his own bed later after they are asleep- if you don't want to keep him there with you. Any hysteria and drama just seems not worth it to me. Reality is- sleep is so important to all, and you should just focus on whatever keeps it simple. There will be plenty of time to try something else later. For now, it may be easier to set it up so all can just get more sleep- happily and peacefully. Good luck.

Hi K..
I would suggest getting the book healthy sleep habits happy child. I swear by this book. Sometimes we miss the signs that our kids are tired and by the time we put them to bed it's too late. They get their second wind and that is why we can't settle them down.

I would suggest staggering their bedtimes. When my babies were infants they went to bed around 6:30 - 7:00. The older ones went to bed around 7:30. I would try to get the baby settled in his own room and then spend some one on one time with the oldest. Just tubby time and reading a book and get him all settled. If you feel more comfortable with the baby in your room just move him there once he gets up for a bottle or to nurse. I feel it's important for the kids to be in their own beds but my kids spend a lot of time in my bed too. My poor husband gets home from work around 3am and many times there's no room for him in the bed. They're not going to be 15 and still sleeping with me so I will enjoy the little snuggles I get here and there. When they are in there I do not get a good night sleep so I try to keep them in their own beds.
If staggering the bedtime doesn't work you could have the older boy help, or at least make him think that he is helping. Tell him that he can help put the baby to sleep but he has to be very very quiet and if he falls asleep in your room too you will carry him back to his bed.
Hope this helps. Hate to say it gets worse when both are able to get up and run around. :)
Good luck

If you have a big bed, I'd also recommend bringing the toddler in to bed with you, too. I'm a big believer in Family Bed - even just bringing a mattress in the room for your little guy might help, it doesn't have to be in the same bed to count. :) Good Luck!

Our son will be three in November, and his little sister is 3.5 mos. We had similar difficulties starting just before she was born. He is a lot better once we moved her into his room and made it their room (about 3 weeks now), even if I still have to nurse her when he has to go to his bed.

Have you thought about putting the baby into his own room? Maybe that would help your toddler go to bed in his own bed since he'll know the baby is also in his own bed in his own room? Assuming you have another room for the baby. I also put a fan in all the rooms to drown out any noise. My 6 mo has a noise machine and a fan on low when she goes to bed because my 2.5 yo is very noisy at bedtime and that definitely helps. Good luck!