Twin Help!!

Updated on September 07, 2009
T.C. asks from Beaverton, OR
16 answers

My boys are 3yrs now, and have decided not to take naps. HELP!!! I am so use to having a break that I am feeling overwhelmed now. I need to restructure our time to allow for cleaning, play, and quiet. I am having difficulty adjusting.

Any advice is appreciated.

T.

2 moms found this helpful

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all the advice and encouragement. We are unable to pay for outside classes at this point, and spend much of our day out on our bikes and running. We are going to try different rooms for nap or quiet time since the shared room during the day isn't working...they just play and get louder and louder. I am also going to go to the dollar store and get 2 timers. That way they each can take responsibility for their behavior in the rooms.

Thank you all!!

T.

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J.B.

answers from Richland on

We had quiet time even when the naps stopped, I found my son needed it or would get cranky. He'd watch a movie, or "read" to himself and that helped with me getting "away" time too.

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J.B.

answers from Seattle on

I stopped taking naps when I was three, and my mother and I reached a compromise. I could stay up as long as I stayed in my room and played quietly so she could still have her break. Apparently I was old enough to understand the terms of the agreement and abide by them. I don't know how boys would respond to such an idea, but it's worth a shot.

Good luck.

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C.A.

answers from Seattle on

SQUIRT =

Super
Quiet
Uninterrupted
Individual
Reading
Time

We do this for an hour almost every day for all ages. It takes the place of nap time. Ahhhh! Even the youngest can "read". If my youngest is noisy, she gets 5 minutes added to her time. If she leaves her room, she gets 10 minutes added to her time. Sometimes I require 30 minutes of "trying to sleep" - no reading or anything else - if they appear to be needing sleep. Then they can read for the next 30 minutes.

Good luck! :)

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R.

answers from Portland on

I have twin boys who turned 3 the 1st of august. A few months ago, my husband and I had decided that they had outgrown naps, as when we laid them down, they would just play and fart around and fight and generally wreak havoc for an hour or so in their bedroom until we finally gave in and let them come downstairs.

When I discussed it with my daycare provider, however, she said the boys ALWAYS napped at her house and generally fell asleep right away. I was baffled. Like you, I was loathe to give up my afternoon time to get things done.

What we ultimately discovered was that my daycare provider always laid them down for a nap in seperate bedrooms. At home, they share a room. So, for naptime, we started putting one of the boys in his big sister's bed. Bingo! naptime is back, better than before. They both fall asleep within 10 minutes and sleep for an hour and a half. If you still think they NEED a nap (and that's the BOYS, not just YOU mamma!) You might try seperating them. For some reason they need to be seperated for nap, but still fall asleep fine in the evenings at bedtime while in the same room. Go figure!
R.

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M.P.

answers from Medford on

Hi T.,
My 6 year old twins, stopped napping at 3 and it was a shocker. It was undeniable though, they couldn't get to sleep at night. And, it does really call for a reconfiguration. I attempted quiet time, but that was really hard. I suppose if they can be in separate rooms that could work, but I finally gave in and let them watch PBS shows for one hour at that time, so I could get something done. I'm sure you will get other great ideas. I just know how it feels.
Good Luck,
Mary
SAHM 6year old twins entering 1st grade, great husband and lost my job last spring :(

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D.C.

answers from Seattle on

I don't have twins but I can only imagine how much work and extra energy two at once take. I do however, have six children of variable ages. When they were all little, my husband and I imposed "Quite time" this was time for them to stay contained in their rooms, the older kids could read or listen to music, while the younger ones could take a, " special project or toy" (kept just for quiet time) out of our quiet time box. It worked well when the kids were three and four and always good for one hour of rest for me!! :) Start a habit and it will stick with them forever. My older kids now grown and living on their own, still take an hour to themselves...Good Luck... :)

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J.N.

answers from Seattle on

We turn on a Disney movie and let them watch it. They have to stay on their pillow and blanket. We tell them they're not napping, just taking a rest. Works like a charm! My 6 year old still falls asleep most of the time. My 4 and 2 year do every time. :)

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K.R.

answers from Portland on

Book I *wish* I'd read before I became a parent, that is all about how to establish a beautiful rhythm (daily, weekly, yearly) for your young child(ren) and yourself(!) ... Sharifa Oppenheimer, Heaven on Earth. It looks all New Age 'indigo children' or 'star children' on the front cover; I wouldn't have even picked it up much less tried reading it except our preschool teacher made us buy it to study ;) ... it is very very down to earth and comforting, with concrete (very concrete) suggestions for, well, everything! ("comforting," once the reader accepts that they themselves probably cannot in the next two weeks achieve *everything* she has achieved and practiced in her 20 years of caring for preschool children ;)!!!) Anyhow, taking any of her methods and tips will probably help.

My kids stopped napping around 18 months ... I'm glad, with twins, you got a longer chance with that ;).

Good luck, God bless :).
--K. :).

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J.R.

answers from Seattle on

do you have them in any classes yet?

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K.N.

answers from Seattle on

I have 5 year old twins who quit napping around 3 1/2. I had a one year old at that time and the quiet time was necessary for her to sleep (our house is tiny so sound really travels). We are not huge tv watchers, but used to do a movie after dinner each night. I switched the times and had the kids start watching the movie during the littlest ones nap time each day. We still do this (unless it is a beautiful day then they go out to play). I am pregnant again and this set up works great because if I am particularly tired I know that I have a minimum of 80 minutes to catch a few zzz's every afternoon.
There are days that one of them doesn't like their sibilings choice of movies and chooses to go quietly play in their room.

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D.L.

answers from Portland on

I have twin boys too, and my hubby also works 6 days a week. I feel your pain! My twins are not quite 2 but I also have a 4 yr old who is not napping, so I know how it goes. When my older one doesn't nap I have him do something quiet like read in his rooom or watch a movie while I do things around the house. You might also want to look into a daycare/preschool where you're comfortable dropping them off for a few hours, once a week so you can have a break. You'll get some things done and your boys will probably really enjoy playing with other kids their age! I do this once in a while and my twins cry at first, but when I come back they are having the time of their lives and don't want to go. Good luck! D.

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D.C.

answers from Portland on

I have 3 1/2 twin boys and they too are on the verge of no naps. Yikes, what am I going to do. I am finding it a little easier to lay them down about 1hr later then normal. My boys will take a good 3hr nap most days so this just cuts it down to 2hrs if they are really tired. If you are not opposed to a movie, pop one in. My boys love blues clues, which I can't stand and Super Why? Super Why is actually a program on channel 10, but they do have a dvd out. It teaches letters and spelling. I too need that time to relax, so I understand what you are going through. I sometimes have one that is sleepy enough for nap time and one that is not, if they are cuddlers then just cuddle with them in a chair or something. You are both still getting some quiet relaxing time. Good Luck, I know it can be hard some days. I have my boys in school (daycare)two days a week so I can get my stuff done ( I work from home) and I still need some me time during the day.

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B.H.

answers from Seattle on

We still have quiet time with my older son. Most days its 30 to 45 min and it helps them relax and be happier and gives me time to clean and have ME time.
Could have them watch a movie, or read in there rooms

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B.C.

answers from Portland on

Others have mentioned this too so I'll make it brief. I highly recommend "Quiet Time" or something similar. I have twin boys who are almost three. They are still napping but when their older sister stopped, I immediately instituted "Quiet Time". She's almost 5 1/2 and still has it for 1 1/2 hours. Sometimes she complains about it beforehand but she always comes out in a better mood. I think she's the type who needs down time and alone time. She seems refreshed almost as if she did sleep. She doesn't have any rules during that time except she has to be quiet enough not to wake her brothers up and she has to stay in her room. Sometimes, I help her get started on something during that time like a craft or listening to a book on tape. I would think it would only be really effective with your twins if they had quiet time in separate rooms. I heard another twin mom whose twins are older say that her girls alternated between their bedroom and the parents' room (because that was their only other space). The one in the parents' room got to choose what toys/activities to take in with her. Don't give up your downtime! Good luck!

C.S.

answers from Medford on

Well, I dont have twins, so I am sure its more difficult for you. But, what I do with my daughter is have her "rest" (resting does not require sleep) for 1 hour to 1.5 hours while brother naps. She is to be in her room with the lights off (sun lights the room enough) and she can play as long as she is quite. I even set a timer so she knows when rest time is over. Sometimes, if we have done a lot of activities that day I will let her watch a movie in the playroom. I am not sure how this would work with your twins, but hopefully if you could get them to rest seperately, you might get some down time. Good luck!

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S.W.

answers from Seattle on

Be thankful you got 3 years out of them napping. Both my kids gave naps up before they were 2 years old. Now you just need to explain to them that they don't have to sleep, but they do need to have some down time. Depending on their interests you could have them spend some time in their room reading or playing. they probably won't give you much time, but try to enjoy it. They are also at the age where they can help you with the chores around the house. They will think it's fun and it's a nice way to bond with them. plan some structured time outside the house too. Good luck. you will be fine!

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