My 10 year old son is going to be the only ring bearer in a family member's wedding next month. There are two flower girls. When we accepted the responsibility, we didn't think much about the cost. The bride had said she was going to keep things simple, especially for the kids, and was considering Target for their outfits. I just called the rental store to schedule my son's fitting, and they told me the rental price was $140.00!!!My husband has been having work related issues and just had his pay cut significantly. He may even get fired, and he is looking for a new job. My husband says to tell the bride our situation and to ask if we can purchase a suit for our son in a department store. His tux is exactly the same as what the groomsmen are wearing, so I think we might have a hard time finding something similar. I looked at an online picture of my son's tux. There is also a purple vest, purple tie and pocket square, cufflinks, and suspenders. My husband says if we are required to pay for the rental, our son won't be able to be in the wedding. I feel terrible about the situation. We haven't had to rent formal clothes for so long now that we had no idea how expensive they have become.
Thank you for all the wonderful advice and websites! The flower girl is refusing to do her job, so the bride decided not to have any children in the ceremony. A co-worker lent me the perfect suit, and now we can all relax and enjoy the wedding!
Call the bride.
When my so was 4, he was a ring bearer .
Geographical location made it about impossible to get the same thing.
The bride advised as long as it was a, b, c and black, it would be fine.
Betcha you can find a tux for him on eBay or something.
There's no reason the ring bearer has to match the groomsmen exactly.
Check eBay. You should be able to buy one that looks similar enough for under $50 and resell it for most of that. Plus get him a half mask and a rose and he's all set to be the Phantom of the Opera for Halloween!
Call the bride and fill her in. Your situation has changed, so it's time to change the game plan.
It's probably not as big of a deal as you would think. If the groomsmen are wearing black tuxedos, then your son should wear black dress pants, white dress shirt and a tie that coordinates with the wedding colors. Because it's a Spring wedding, having a young child without a tuxedo jacket REALLY isn't a big deal.
If she really wants him in a tuxedo, then let her know that he will be in a black tuxedo that you will find at a reasonable cost. I just googled and here's one for under $50. You can get black dress shoes at Payless or Target for $20 and he will look great.
http://www.tuxedosonline.com/boys_tuxedo_black_infant_tod...
My son is in my BIL's wedding in September (as are the rest of us)... holding my breath to see what this is going to cost us too!
See if this website suits the brides taste and your budget.
http://www.butterflyxc.com/boys-suits-tuxedos.html
This is where we got our flower girls dress.. anytime I see kids in a wedding I look this site back up becuase thier prices are realistic.
Is your son the only ring bearer? A couple years ago my daughter was in her best friend's wedding. Since the bride was also an 'auntie' to my grandchildren she also included my granddaughter as a flower girl and both grandsons as ring bearers. She left it up to my daughter and her future sister in laws to dress the kids so they would match without the expense. The girls ended up in sun dresses from target for $15 each and the boys wore dark slacks and dress shirts from target for around $25 total cost. Everything could be worn after.
Dang!
We have rented several tuxes for our son as he's been in numerous weddings and they didn't cost anywhere near that much.
Since renting the shoes was an additional cost, we just bought him nice black dress shoes so that he could get more than just one use out of them.
Talk to the bride and tell her the situation. You priced tux rentals and you just can't afford that cost at this time. If she REALLY wants your son in the ceremony, surely there is an alternative. She may even be willing to help with the cost or pay for the rental herself.
Best wishes.
I agree, black pants, white shirt, tie in coordinating colors. Weddings these days are usually not the formal things they used to be. THANK GOD!
Look around on craigslist and see if you can get one used. Before purchasing, ask the bride if it's ok, being honest about your financial situation. Also, see if anyone you know has something you can borrow. $140 seems excessive for a rental tux, especially for a child. I think as long as he can get a purple vest and tie, which you should be able to rent for a much lower cost, it doesn't matter if the rest of the tux isn't 100% identical. I highly doubt that the flower girls are wearing exact replicas of the bridesmaid dresses, so there is no reason for the ring bearer to wear exactly the same thing as the groomsmen.
We bought a tux online for $40 and we've used it twice. I don't remember the company, but it was a good quality. Just buy it and rent shoes:)
Call up the bride and talk to her. If he is a ring bearer it is okay for their suits to not exactly match the groomsmen...if it's okay with her.
The only way to know though is to call her up and be honest with her.
We ran into the same thing with my son, who was a ring bearer at 3 yo. The rental cost was the same as an adult and there was NO WAY we were going to pay that to rent a childs tux. Yikes!
My husband looked online and found a brand new tux, very similar to what the bride wanted, and it was purchased for about $40. And now he has a little penguin suit for a keepsake. We bought him dress shoes at Payless that he used several times before he grew out of them.
Ask the bride/groom what they are looking for in a tux for him and get online. You may find a lot of success there with something used or even new for much cheaper. It gets so expensive!
We had the same situation and thought about buying a suit. BUt realistically since my son grows so fast (6"1" at age 13) it wouldn't have fit him for more than that season anyway and we didn't have any other dressy affairs for the season. We bit the bullet and rented the tux. He did look AORABLE in it. And keep in mind by the time you buy a suit, a shirt, a tie & dress shoes you'll be in the $140 range anyway....
I can understand the stress you're going through. BUT don't be upset with the bride if she really wants him to wear a matching tux. I would have a vision and not be happy to have it altered. So try to see if she'll go half with you or something. Just be honest and tell her that you can't afford it. She may not have the money herself but might be able to find a way.
There are many many places on the web where you can buy a tux or suit for well under $100. Then you could sell it to recoup the cost. Don't just think you have to rent. You may also be able to rent just the purple pieces.
I would definitely say something to the bride. The only vision for our wedding was for everyone to have fun and no one to stress. Our ring bearer had the option to where whatever he was comfortable in, preferably black slacks (not jeans), but I wanted him to WANT to be the ring bearer. He ended up wanting to wear the same thing as his dad (partial tux, we omitted the jackets) and the family chose to do that - the expense was somewhere around $40. I can't imagine the bride wanting you to feel pressure, or to go into debt, or any other struggle.
The others gave you info on finding more affordable options, which I hope works for you. Good luck!
