Trying to Ween 18 Month

Updated on March 20, 2008
T.S. asks from Ladys Island, SC
6 answers

trying to wean 18 month old girl and also trying to get her to adjust to a crib and her own space after spending the first year and a half with me in my bed.
how long is it ok to let her try to "cry it out" which I usually don't feel comfortable doing it seems really stressful to her but I've heard that a limited amount of time is important for them to learn indepence

any suggestions would be helpful, its hard to let go...
T.

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D.W.

answers from Charleston on

There are alternatives to crying it out, which would tear my heart out to listen to, personally. Like another poster said, take it slow. Baby steps. If you can get the crib in your room great. I don't think it would be easy to get her to sleep in a room alone just yet.
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/advice/0071381392.php

Also, she's not even two, she's still a baby. She is still dependent upon you to fulfill her needs. Independence comes with age naturally.

Plus, her brain is still developing and will do so until she is at least 24 months. The first two years are critical. This is why the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least the first two years. If you can stick it out a little longer, then it would be beneficial to your daughter.

C.M.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Hi T.-
I have to say I was in your shoes... I however never breast feed, but I let my daughter sleep with us for 6 1/2 months. We got her into her crib in her room, it was not easy, I think it may have been harder for me than for her... Stick to your guns. We let my little girl cry it out... she did that for 3 nights and than she was sound asleep. We always rock her to sleep and than put her in the crib, maybe try that, and see how that works? I don't know if that will work for you, it did for us... I know many don't agree with the CIO method, it just all depends you, you know what is best for your child... Best of luck! Keep us posted!!

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R.M.

answers from Spartanburg on

Hi T.,
I don't know if you object to your daughter continuing to breast feed once a day until she is two or not. I knew many ladies that tried at 18 months and had a very hard time. I let my daughter breast feed once a day until she was two. For the last two months I told her that "when she turned two, no more boobies." I couldn't believe it but the day she turned two she woke up and said "I'm two today, no more boobies." She never asked again. At two she was old enough to understand. At 18 months I don't think they really understand why we are taking them away.

As for the crib situation, I have three kids and not one of them would sleep in a crib. Because I breast feed I just kept them in the bed with me. Being a working mom it was just easier for me. They didn't go to their own beds until they were three. Good luck, I hope you find your answer.

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B.C.

answers from San Juan on

I wouldn't let her cry out, but then that's my own opinion. Maybe you can bring her crib (or a mattress) to your room until she adapts to be on her own bed, then later in her own bedroom. Remember she has been close to you for a long time now (way before birth), that transition can be very h*** o* her and breastfeeding can definitely make her feel "safe" during this "hard times". Breasfeeding doesn't only provides nutrients, antibodies and "love hormones (oxytocin)" but provides a special bond and a feeling of a "safe place" for you baby.
Good luck, HTH.

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J.D.

answers from Columbus on

I have 3 kids and with my first one we switched from a crib to a big boy bed at a year old with the side on the bed. He loved it and did great! With my daughter, she slept with us for awhile... but my situation was different. My husband was hurt in Iraq and while he was at Walter Reed the Army put me and my 2 kids in a small hotel room. She had to sleep with me. When my husband got out of the hospital and we got an apt... she still slept with us but it started to create problems between my husband and I. We got her a big girl bed that was low to the ground. I would rock her to sleep and put her in her bed. When she would wake up I would put her back in her bed. She would cry for a min and then be fine and I would just keep doing that every time she would wake up and walk to our room. It took about a week but now she is 2 and I put her in her bed and she goes right to sleep. I also took her bottle and pacifier away at a year old along with my son and that seems to work out GREAT! I hope this helps. It is ok to let them cry. They actually need to cry... it helps develop their lungs- no joke. If they aren't in pain then they are just mad and it is ok! It does break your heart and sometimes I have to leave the house with my youngest does it but we make it and it turns out great and the best part is that they don't remember that at all! They don't remember being mad at you or upset!

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L.S.

answers from Atlanta on

T.,

I always suggest that people read Babywise by Ezzo. I think he has a very realistic approach to helping your baby learn to fall asleep. Your baby is old enough to soothe herself. The time limit is 20 minutes which, if you are a parent, seems like 20 hours but I assure you, it works.
We simply had to do it to get our daughter sleeping in her own crib through the night.
I assure you, you will not damage your baby. Our baby is one of the most independent, loving, babies I have ever seen and yes, we have let her cry.
She usually shuts off around 10 minutes.
I am not saying ignore the baby, make sure she is fed and dry, then simply say "it is time to go night night" or whatever works for you, pat the bed, and tell her she needs to go to sleep.

Consistancy is key. I think many parents are their own worst enemy when it comes to teaching their children to sleep.

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