Trying to Get Pregnant

Updated on May 03, 2008
B.W. asks from Dublin, OH
11 answers

Ok, I've had 2 kids and I've never actually had to TRY. We got pregnant with our daughter the 2nd month and our son the 1st month. Now, I've been off birth control since the end of December and no luck. I understand that for a lot of you, 4 months is nothing, but my real issue comes down to lack of control with my cycle. I've decided my uterus is just playing games with me. The first month off BC my cycle was 28 days, then 9 days late (37 days), then 27 days, then midcycle spotting and my period was 8 days late (36 days). So my period has just started again - and all the period signs pointed to maybe I was pregnant this time around. Anyway, I'm slightly bummed but I was wondering what else I can do to regulate my cycles and have a better chance of getting pregnant soon. PS I take prenatal vitamins everyday and red raspberry leaf as a supplement that has helped regulate my hormones in the past.

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answers from Cleveland on

I just got pregnant with no. 2 and I ended up having to go on Clomid for a cycle. Have you tried using ovulation predictors? They are a great help on when you are ovulating. We did "it" every other day in my fertile week and sat with a pillow under my hips for about 10 minutes. There is trying to conceive chat forum that I found very helpful as I was trying to conceive for about 10 months. It's I wish you good luck!

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answers from Columbus on

In my hypnotherapy practice I work with mothers whom sometimes have issues in conceiving. I wrote the below article to help them. Sometimes it takes working directly with a hypnotherapist to overcome a subconsious reason as to why you are not conceiving. I thought I would share the below in hopes it might help you.


Ritual Conception
By S. Gourlay HBCE, C.HT Copyright, October 2007

Have you ever considered the role of rituals in our lives and how they can make the ordinary, extraordinary? Growing up in the Serbian Orthodox Church I was surrounded by rituals in my life including: Church Liturgy, Baptism, Marriage, Greetings, Prayers, and even meal time rituals. Each of these customs made the event seem special and unique.

In the Hypnotherapy world, we find that women whom are experiencing fertility issues are stressed and caught up in a cycle of waiting to see if they are pregnant this month or next. Relaxation is key to getting pregnant along with getting the subconscious to get on board with the idea.

First, how do we accomplish relaxation? Visualization, hypnosis, removing tension, & addressing fears are all key factors to allow conception to happen. Fear release work allows the practitioner to work directly with the mom-to-be to figure out what her fears of conception might be. Some common fears are financial concerns, fear of becoming a good mother, fear of loosing oneself, or even grief from a previous loss. Fear release work should be done with a qualified clinical Hypnotherapist who can work with you in a safe environment to help you in the process.

Conception rituals can help parents-to-be to make the sexual act more cherished (especially after you have repeatedly tried to get pregnant over and over again). It helps you and your partner to connect with the sacred and divine to bring the soul that is meant for your family, to you.
Below is an example of such a ritual that I found in the book “Rituals for Sacred Living” by Jane Alexander. Of course you can incorporate anything you believe, desire, or need into this ritual. Becoming parents from conception through birthing is such a beautiful sacred time in a woman’s life. We should do things to make the entire process a LIFE altering experience that connects us to the universe and the divine.
(This ritual does not guarantee conception but it will be a beautiful well thought out beginning).

Need: Pink or Rose colored candles// Lavender & geranium oils, and oil burner.

Ritual Details: Prepare the bedroom so it is clean and comfortable. Light the candles, and burn the oils. They foster love, peace, and happiness. Spend some time talking with your partner. Think about why you want this child? Are you committed to providing a loving, secure environment for them? Be quite clear in setting your intentions. Ensure you are not seeking a baby to support a difficult relationship or for selfish reasons. Talk about your love for each other; describe how you see each other as parents. Visualize yourselves with a child of your own. How would it be?

Now lie down and take several slow, deep breaths. Let yourself relax completely. Visualize your heart chakras glowing with pure golden pink light. This light expands to become a bubble of light. You gradually become aware of other bubbles of light all around you. Each one contains a soul preparing to descend to the earth. Watch as some of the souls come up to you as if they were curious. Each soul knows what she or he desires in life and is checking to see if you are able to provide the right environment. Send out a prayer that the ‘right” soul will find you. Send out all your love, hopes, and promises. You may have a sense that a soul has picked you—if not, trust it will happen if not now, in the future.

Come back to waking awareness and share your experiences with your partner. You could now give each other a massage. Make love in the most gentle, loving way possible. Keep the idea of that waiting soul in your mind, quietly inviting her or him to come into your lives.

IDEA: Work with a Hypnotherapist to enhance this visualization into a hypnosis script. Or record this ritual yourself if you have a hard time visualizing. Either way you both can listen to the visualization together which keeps you on the same page.

Inner Peace Creates Outer Peace. The more you are able to face your fears of conception, birthing, and parenting, the easier to conceive it will be. RELAX, the journey is beautiful and the destination fulfilling.



answers from Indianapolis on

It can take the body up to 18 months to get rid of all the birth control hormones and their affects. I had the same cycle issues when I stopped taking it as well.

I would also recommend not trying to force the issue. I did that before I got pregnant with my daughter and my body didn't know what to do. When I relaxed and didn't put myself under so much pressure (though I did continue to chart my BBT and cervical changes and mucus). A couple months later, I got pregnant.

Above all else, pray about it. Allow the Lord to have his way with your fertility.

I pray the Lord grant you peace about this and that you are blessed with more children.

God bless,



answers from South Bend on

I don't have any real medical advice. Just the old fashion kind.. don't take offense. When I wanted to have our 2nd. We just "got together" all the time. Several times a day. It was probably the happiest we have ever been...Its totally different when you are actually trying to have a baby. I bought one of those ovulation kits to use to help but was pregnant before the first chance I got to use it. I like my theory best.. it can't hurt.. :O)



answers from Columbus on

I also have very odd cycles after going off the pill. It didn't take long for me to get pregnant but my cycles were a lot like yours & it was hard to tell when I was ovulating. I don't have any advice...maybe make an appnt. with your dr. if you still haven't had success in a few months.




answers from Toledo on

I don't have any experience with the irregular cycles, as I have always worked like clockwork. What I have been told, though, is that for every year you have been on BC pills (or any type of BC for that matter) is that it takes that many months times two for your body to begin ovulation again. So say if you were on the pill for 4 years, then you would most likely have about 8 months before your body begins a normal ovulation cycle again. Obviously this is not the case with everyone, but I have been told that this is a good starting point for many people. Good luck.



answers from Lima on


Well, I know you will hate to hear this but I don't know of anything that will help regulate your cycle other than birth control. Obviously since you are trying to conceive, you won't be taking the birth control.

Next, what you did with your other 2 children in not trying, that is what you need to do this time. The only reason I say this is because when my husband and I tried to conceive, we couldn't get pregnant. Once we stopped trying and stopped thinking about it, we were pregnant.

This is the best advice that I can give you. Try not to think about it for awhile and see if it happens. If it doesn't then I would talk to your OBGYN and see if they can help you out.

Good luck!



answers from Columbus on

I don't have any advice for you, but I was the exact same way. My first two were almost identical to your situation, and then the third took a long time. We started trying in July and didn't end up getting pregnant until December. I thought something was wrong and couldn't figure out what was taking so long either. I always used ovulation predictor kits so I knew when I was ovulating, so if you're not using those, I strongly suggest them!

I guess I just wanted to say don't give up!



answers from Columbus on

Have you ever thought of cleansing. Not a colon cleanse but a cleanse that helps to get the trapped impurities out of the system while putting a ton of nutrition in the body. The body takes in several impurities on a daily basis and many of them stay in the body. I would strongly recommend a nutritional cleanse. If I would have known about it when I was getting pregnant, I would have definitely done it. If you would like to know more about it, please feel free to give me a call at ###-###-####.



answers from Columbus on

just an fyi: it is possible that your cycle is completely normal. sometimes one ovary has a longer luteal phase than the other. keep tracking and you should be able to plan accordingly if the pattern keeps up. also try the ovulation tests. the ones from the dollar store work just as well if you can find them. blessings. we have been trying for 5 yrs with little success after our first one.



answers from Columbus on

I found a book, The Best Pregnancy Book Ever, (or something like that). It gave me some great info on how to track your temp & mucus to find when you are ovulating. I don't know if there is anything that you can do to change your actual cycle, just track it & learn when's best for ovulation. Check the library or just google basal body temp & that should help. Good luck.

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