Trying to Get My 4 Year Old to Do Alphabets and Numbers?

Updated on March 11, 2010
C.C. asks from Oak Harbor, WA
51 answers

I need any suggestions for teaching or helping my daughter to keep up with her alphabet and numbers.. She gives up easliy and says " can't " all the time. I just would like her to keep trying and not give up....? please anything will help. thanks.

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B.A.

answers from Eugene on

Hi I am responding as a preschool teacher of 12 years. Four year olds are on the young end of being able to know all their letters and numbers. Most four year olds that have learned them are mimicking the world around them, hearing songs, listening to their siblings and parents etc. It isn't until the concrete operational part of the brain starts to develop more fully beginning at age 5-7 that this information is genuinely taken in as their own knowledge. The best way to prepare a 3-5 year old for reading and math is for them to play! the pre-reading and math skills( like left to right, patterns, geometric shapes, one to one correspondence,fine motor coordination etc) come from pouring sand, fitting puzzles, drawing with crayons,looking at books and being read to, stringing beads, pretending anything,interacting and problem solving with friends, and outside play that involves running, jumping, climbing etc. All of these activities actually coordinate and wire the brain to more easily receive letters and numbers when the time comes.(there is lots of research on this you can look up) Having your child memorize these things may make it sound like they know the ABC's but it doesn't give them the flexibility to experiment with letters and words which is how we learn to read- So let her play, sing songs that count (3 little speckled frogs),count how many plates do you need for dinner etc, make up silly poems,read lots of books together, provide lots of time for active outside play, time with sensory materials like sand, water, playdough.. and the reading will blossom naturally before you know it! your daughter may say "she can't" because she genuinely isn't ready, and pressure can make it harder, not because she doesn't want to try. Have fun and take care-
there are tons of resources for play based curriculum/ideas online and at the library-
Also I see lots of responses telling you to have your child watch TV shows and play computer games to learn- this is not necessary or advisable other than as an occasional activity, children learn by doing- TV puts their brains in a passive state and has actually been shown to DECREASE intellectual capacity and critical thinking skills rather than enhance them. Also the amount of flashing and picture changes, especially on carttons can cause vision problems and attention span issues. You don't have to ban TV, but to use it as a way to learn reading skills, rather than just being out in the world or reading to our children is a disservice in my opinion.

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L.F.

answers from Portland on

All the advice so far has been spot on about making it a fun, no-pressure experience. I am presenting a reading workshop today on how to help your preschooler want to learn to read and I plan to mention a lot of the same things. As an Usborne Books consultant, I, of course, use lots of books with my kids. We have books like our 1001 Things to Spot series that encourage counting and numeral recognition in a fun, low-stress way. And when reading books to her it's very easy and appropriate to play an I spy game to find specific letters.

Experts tell us that children need to hear 1000 storied read aloud before they begin to learn to read for themselves. So keep reading to her and keep lots of books around.

If you'd like to know more about my reading workshop or ways to get some great free and discounted books, please don't hesitate to message me.

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L.P.

answers from Seattle on

The best thing for both of you is to let her learn at her own pace, not yours. When she says "can't" she is really saying, "I've had enough, my brain is full." She will learn in her own time. Forcing a child (even with good intentions!) leads to tears & frustration and can make an "issue" out of learning, when it should just be a joy. There are many activities and manipulatives that can make learning more fun and make a child want to push themselves, and this is fine if she is asking for it. But resist the urge to push. Your daughter knows best. (I learned this with my own children, who are now highschoolers and brilliant!)
Good luck!
L. P.

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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

Are you being like a drill seargent about this or are you allowing the learning process to be a fun exploration?

Broderbund made really fun, engaging alphabet and number games for the computer that my kids (now 22 an 16) learned on. My husband also made learning the sounds that the letters make enjoyable by putting our then 2 year old daughter on his lap and letting her type out letters on the keyboard--he would say the sound that the letter makes rather than naming the letter. she wrote him a letter phonetically when she was three. HOWEVER, LET ME STRESS that we were much more focussed on her exploration and discovery than being attached to her needing to do something.

I would also look at what is driving your concern--what are you making this mean about you as her parent that she is resisting this? What are you making it mean about her? One of the wisest people I know said, "Don't believe everything that you think." Take what you will from this--

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D.R.

answers from Medford on

I am also an educator. I have taught kindergarten through 8th grade for 15 years. Research shows that the biggest indicator for academic success is not in knowing how to recite their ABC's or count to 20 before they start kindergarten, but in the exposure to literature and books. Children learn book handling skills and book 'language' by being read to frequently. The higher the number of books read to a child before the age of 5 significantly increases their knowledge of how words and letters work, and how books work. My best advice to you, is to Read to your children a few times a day if tiem allows. And read the same books over and over, they love to learn the story to help fill in the next word and then to 'pretend' read. Definitely sing the ABC song and play counting games, but more dont stress the learning as much as the fun and bonding time that it provides the two of you.

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S.C.

answers from Seattle on

Make it fun, fun, fun! At 4 years old learning the ABC's and 123's should be all about fun - not work. Get some shaving cream and spray it on your kitchen table. (it works as a great cleaner for those pen marks that just won't come off!) Then let her practice writing her letters and numbers. My kids still love to do this for practicing their spelling words. One thing I started when my daughter was 4 is to choose a letter for the "week" then I would find pictures on line for her to color and glue onto a big piece of paper. We would also find something that went with the letter to do art or for snack - my kids still talk about on D-day we went out for doughnuts. Of course, on O-day they convenienced me to go for doughnuts again since it the shape of a do-nut. Anything that makes it fun and they will remember. There are TONS of ideas online about crafts, snacks, and other creative things to do with letter. I got a lot of my ideas from www.dltkkids.com It's a great web site. Hope that helps.

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E.K.

answers from Seattle on

One of the best bits of advice I ever received was at age 6. I was told by my gymnastics teacher (over and over) that "can't" is a word that she doesn't hear. "I have trouble with this" is acceptable. "You need help?" She would always chime. Try it. But be sure you aren't saying "can't" all the time yourself. "in a minute", "hang on" and "I'll try" are really great substitutes. It works for my 6 year old and my 2 year old even sometimes. But you have to be completely committed. The one day you hear "can't" and respond to it will spiral you back down. The idea is to keep it positive and learn about asking for assistance. Allowing her to ask for help rather than decide that it is not possible. This has been really useful my whole life.

But besides that, you have to keep it fun. Once she figures out that it's hard work that you "have to do" it gets way harder. Songs, rhymes, flash cards, scribblings and drawing animals out of letters are all good games for learning alphabet. Number tricks (hiding items under a cup), finger games and songs are all good for numbers. Good luck.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Hi C.,

I agree with all the other responses that said to keep it fun and don't force or rush it.

I did most everything(or something similar) with my now 9 year old that's been written about in this thread, and she has always read/comprehended at a grade level above her, and was writing at an early age.

Watching t.v. to learn is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of--at least it's not brain trash if they're learning something. My daughter could do alot of colors, words, letters and numbers in Spanish/English by the time she was 4 thanks to Dora, and that and other programs(Blue's Clues was her FAVORITE!) helped her a TON. We had alphabet magnets on the fridge as early as two, and everytime she went over and played with them, I told her which letter it was she was holding and the sounds it made.

We also had books, and flashcards, and she went to preschool from the time she was four until she started kindergarden.

So again, just keep it fun, find something she likes and go with that until it wears off, and then do something else, and I definately recommend preschool if you can get her in. She will learn from other children as well as be inspired to want to learn more.

OH, and be sure to praise her when she is learning something and show how happy you are that she wants to learn. Impressing mom is another motivator for the kidlets, but if she feels like she's disappointing you, she may shut down and even resent learning later.

I hope you both have a great time with this! :o)

K. W

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B.G.

answers from Portland on

I wouldn't worry about pushing "school!" I would absolutely read as much as possible to her. As long as her interest for reading and stories stays strong and interesting, then eventually she'll want to learn how to read. I'd also make sure there is a balance of fostering her own interests. I imagine (as a former teacher) that this must be frustrating for you in a world that is so academically minded. I'd just try relax and make sure you are getting to know your daughters interests as well as fostering a love for learning!

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C.M.

answers from Bellingham on

I would definitely not pressure her. For most kids, 4 is too young for formal learning. At this age, learning should be informal and fun. If your daughter starts to associate learning with frustration and failure, then she will surely have problems down the road. I would pull back and let her take her own pace. Maybe periodically play games that incorporate letters and numbers, but keep it light-hearted an fun.

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L.S.

answers from Seattle on

If she isn't interested I would not force it with a 4 year old as that often leads to more resistance.
Keep it fun, simple, short and playful. Games, rhymes, songs, stories etc.
Library toddler times are fun, she might like to choose her own books, there are lots of wonderful abc books out there.
Money works great for kids to count starting with pennies and moving on as they get older.
My oldest was reading at four and my youngest didn't really get that ahah! moment until 1st grade and I did the same things with both of them. Every one learns at their own pace in their own way.
Good luck and have fun with her.

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J.D.

answers from Seattle on

I have a 4 year old daughter too, she wasn't intersted in numbers or letters until a few weeks ago. And now it's all about finding the letters in her name everywhere.
Some of the things I've done with both my kids is to count out the snacks that they get. Start with 5 and when they want more they have to count more. One of my friends mom use to say the alphabet instead of counting to a # when she wanted to get the kids to do something, they had 'til she got to H insted of 10 to pick up 5 toys. Make it part of your comunication, and read read read with your child. 4 year olds are contrary by nature. :)
I also just put up alphabet stickers on my daughter's wall, we don't do anything with them, they are just things to look at. Have fun!

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S.H.

answers from Portland on

Hi C.,

I agree that any "learning" that happens should be a by-product of fun and not the focus! I would suggest lots of story time. If you read all kinds of books about things she is interested in eventually, she will understand the concept that letters make words. There are all kinds of great books that focus on the alphabet and numbers. The library will have suggestions, if you need help finding some.

My daughter also loves Barney, Sesame Street, Super Why. They learn a lot without realizing they are learning it. Her alphabet puzzle and alphabet refrigerator magnets have also been favorites. Let your daughter take the lead in what she enjoys and wants to do. Have learning tools available (sitting out on a table for instance) and sit back and watch what happens. She will probably become curious and start asking questions about them.

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C.M.

answers from Richland on

Try making it fun with song and dance. If she is a visual learner try flash cards and singing the alphabet song. If she is a hands on learner try materials that she can touch and feel or use movement to encourage memorization.

Good luck,
C.

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J.C.

answers from Seattle on

Hi C.,

I think everyone else has some good advice. The biggest point I would stress is to not make it "learning" but rather just incorporate it into your daily lives and make it fun. At the grocery store, point out different letters on packages; buy some foam letters for the bathtub and spell silly words during bathtime; make sure she has some coloring books/activity books, puzzles, and/or toys with alphabet learning, but don't push it on her.

Like others have said, everyone is going to learn at his or her own pace. Your daughter will learn her alphabet, but the more you push her, the more resistant she might get. I would just casually add it to her play during the day and try to relax about it.

Hope something on here helps! :)

~J.

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T.E.

answers from Seattle on

Something that helped both of my children know their letter names and sounds was The Letter Factory dvd put out by the leapfrog company. You can find it at Walmart for less than $10. (I may have seen it at Target also.)
It uses a cute storyline and cartoon characters to go through each letter sound and completely mesmorized my little ones.
T. E

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T.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hi - for my son, he loved numbers but not letters for awhile..and we started getting worried about it so my husband sets aside time in the evening where they "practice the letters". We try not to pressure him if he says he doesn't want to do it that particular night. We explained to him that if he wanted to learn how to read some day, that he needed to learn the letters. Now sometimes when we read a story, he actually will want to do the words, and we will sound out a whole sentence.

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

Every child is different and you'll see the right avenue when it comes. Sometimes it will be attach to a favorite doll or cartoon character that is in a book. For example my oldest watched Arthur on PBS and I found workbooks for kindergarteners with Arthur incorporated all throught the book. Right now with my three year old he wants me to read the all the books we have that are related to the PBS shows. Clifford, Curious George, Sesame street, etc. I know that if I come across any educational workbooks or software with those themes I'll be apt to buy them because of the connection he has to the characters. Have you tried pbskids.org? My kids really like that one.

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S.R.

answers from Anchorage on

C.,
I started using the leap frog letter magnets on the fridge with my daughter when she was three. She loved putting them in the magnet box that played each letter's sound. I tried making a game of it, and usually ended with some type of reward when the game was done. If your daughter continues to show no interest, I would give it a break and try again a little later. It takes the fun out of it when it is forced.

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

My daughter LOVES the show Word World on OPB and it seems more like a cartoon than learning, but she knows most of her letters, she's 2! I didn't teach her any.

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C.M.

answers from Portland on

C.~
First of all relax. The more you push that harder she will resist. My daughter learned her ABC’s with sing a long CD’s in the car and her Leap Frog magnetic alphabet center. (You can pick it up at almost any department store that has a toy department for about $15.) When it came to her 123’s, I started to count out everything that I did. When I made her lunch using:carrot sticks, cheese slices, ect. or picked up her toys I counted everything out loud to 10 then would start over. She is now able to count to 13 with ease and up to 5 in Spanish she also knows her alphabet and is now learning the sounds of each letter. You are doing great just have fun sing songs. The childhood song, “This old man he played one he played nick knack on my thumb,” is one of my daughter’s favorites. She will learn, just relax , maybe back off it for a while and do some teaching to her through her everyday activity with out being invasive or her really knowing that that is what you are doing. Good luck.
C.

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C.P.

answers from Seattle on

Try singing it. That is what worked for my daughter. She is very right brained.

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L.O.

answers from Seattle on

Here are a few ideas:
Do you have the foam letters and numbers for the bathtub? They have them at Target. They stick onto the bathtub walls and sides. We have our daughter choose a letter out of her bath and say the letter name, sound, and a word (usually a friend or family member's name) or an animal that starts with that letter. We also have her tell us the name of the number she chooses out of the tub. It makes it fun without feeling like a lesson.
A great video is Letter Factory by Leap Frog.
Play games in the car, like try to spot the letter A or the number 5.
We have lots of letter puzzles, too, that she really enjoys. When you are coloring/drawing together. Ask her to choose a letter to practice. You can make several examples and then let her try to make the letter. Maybe even hold her hand the first few times when she attempts to make the letter.
When we push our daughter on the swing, we do the alphabet or count, so she is always hearing letters and numbers in order.
Count out her snacks: example: 1 fish cracker, 2 fish crackers, 3 fish crackers, etc.
Write a number on a paper and have her glue on objects that represent that number. Example: 5, she can glue on 5 pieces of macaronni.
Good luck and have fun!!!! Try to incorporate as much as you can into regular daily life.

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

It's great to start early, but from my experience, most kids are around the same level by 2nd grade, whether they had preschool or not. I have volunteered in my son's kind. class once a week and have seen amazing growth and learning from each kid. Half of them probably did not know their letters or sounds in the beginning of the year and most are phonetically reading at a first grade level. Oh, and it is a public school! :)

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H.B.

answers from Seattle on

My 3 year old son is this way too, and I figured out that it is because he is such a perfectionist that he can't stand to get something wrong. So he'd prefer not to do it at all than to "mess up" trying. His sister, who is under 2, sings the abc's constantly, and counts to 10 on her own, missing things here and there, but overall improving all the time. At first when she started doing it he said "she's getting it all wrong!" Our approach is both to try to make learning fun (find books and games and puzzles that emphasize these concepts, and also to encourage him continually to try things, even if he doesn't get it right the first time. Also I give him small "bites" of things that he CAN do perfectly, and then the success builds confidence to try a little more. I also play down the failures, just encouraging him that we all mess up sometimes, but we keep trying.

It could be that your daughter just gets discouraged easily because she can't tolerate her own failure. This is not an uncommon trait, and if so, it may be a lifelong thing to address, but worth recognizing for what it is! Good luck, these little unique people that our children represent are completely worth the time and effort to figure out!

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S.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I'm a preschool teacher and I agree, keep it light and fun. Point out the letters on all those colorful kid cereals at the grocery store while shopping. You'll be surprised by how much she knows when it becomes a game!

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J.S.

answers from Spokane on

Hey there. Try going to fisher-price.com they have fun preschool games to help teach letters, numbers, shapes, colors, animal sounds, all that fun stuff. And a more advanced website to teach your child how to read is starfall.com My daughter loves these websites. Ive been using them with her since she was a year old and by 18 months she already knew her alphabet and numbers and so much more. She's 3 1/2 now and is already writing and recognizes words when reading. They're great websites and fun and easy. Im sure your daughter will love them.

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T.B.

answers from Seattle on

Hi there C.,

My son is 3 and since he was about 18 mo he has loved watching the Leap Frog videos. He knew all of his letters and their sounds by the time he was 2 by watching their "Letter Factory" video. They put the alphabet into a really easy song that he still sings. It is only about a 1/2 hr video and just the right amount of learning and fun. He also learned his numbers from the Leap Frog video "Math Circus". He can now count to 30 all the way through and knows how to recognize numbers up to 100. He loves playing games with calculators. We have a giant one and his favorite thing is to put our phone numbers in one number at a time. The other thing that really helped him was the Leap Frog Fridge Phonics magnets and the little talking box that you can press them into. It reinforces what they learned in the "Letter Factory" video and is fun for him. We would mix all the letter magnets up on the side of the fridge and then I would have him help me put them in order as we sang the alphabet song. Then he would check to make sure that he had the right letter by pushing it into the magnet box. He still likes this game. I hope that this helps. Don't worry, you are a great mom who only wants the best foot forward for your child going into school. I know that there are things that they do need to know before they start school and you have plenty of time for those. All the best to you and your daughter :0). T.

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I.J.

answers from Seattle on

Buy the LeapFrog Fridgetronics. They have the individual letters and the three, word letters. When she is asked to sit in time-out, put her by the Fridge(ours is on the dishwasher) and give her permission to play with those until she can decide not to do what she did to sit there. She'll be so busy learning her letters and sounds that she'll forget she can get up. She'll find her way there on her own throughout the day also. There will be no needing to work with her, she'll do it on her own. Then get magnetice numbers and work with her a little but soon she'll get those on her own to.

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J.F.

answers from Seattle on

I have my master's in early childhood education and my advise is: Be sure to make it fun! At her age, it's not super important that she learn those things yet, so you want to make sure that learns to like learning. Make it a game or a race or turn it into a song or rhyme or something like that. Each day, stop doing it as soon as she loses interest. Also be sure to go in small steps like 1-2 new letters or numbers a week would be all that you do. You could have a letter of week and focus and finding all the P's you could find that week.

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M.G.

answers from Seattle on

Getting your child to learn these things is no biggie. Make a game of it. My 3 year old and I like to do these different activities to help her learn her letters and numbers
1. Activity books with the letters and numbers. I post her progress on the fridge for EVERYONE to see and as she accomplishes each letter she gets a star. She really loves to point out to her dad her progress
2. Letter and number cookies. I bake sugar cookies once in a while and we cut them into letters and numbers. I tell her what some are and ask her. We do the same as we cut them out and decorate them too.
3. Name tags. She loves to make name tags for friends and family as they come over so I help her make them and tell her all the letters or just spell them out to her. Sometimes they're goofy but usually at least the first letter is right.
4. Singing. We will sing the alphabet song and point to the letters as we sing each one.
5. Computer games. She has a few games that she really likes on the internet or on software that we've purchased.
Hope this helps!!! Overall make it a game. When they're done - they're DONE! Good luck!

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C.J.

answers from Richland on

There is a great toy called Fridge Phonics- it's a leap frog toy that sings the alphabet and tells how to say letters and the sounds they make. My son loves it!!!

Another idea is to try to play math games while doing dishes or cooking together. You say "If Grandma wants an apple, and Daddy wants an apple, and Mommy wants an apple, How many apples do we need to buy at the store?" Also, using measuring cups helps with fractions, counting eggs, scoops of flour, etc as you make meals together helps with the numbers.

Hope this helps!!!

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B.D.

answers from Seattle on

I'm not sure how much this might help, but someone had bought my son the Word Whammer from Leap Frog. I was completely amazed on how fast my son picked up learning his alphabet. He picked up his alphabet within a week! It doesn't cost that much either. As for learning #s...I used stairs, squares on the sidewalk, objects that we walk by...use your environment and make it a game. Hope this helps! :D

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B.J.

answers from Richland on

Hi C.,

I have a four year old too and your request got me thinking about ideas to make the abc and numbers fun. Here's an idea (I haven't tried, but I think I definitely will). Make it an adventure or game. Make flashcards for the abc's. If you want to teach the number "5" and review the letter "A", have your daughter search for 5 letter A's you've hidden around the house. I know kids love looking for treasure. Every day you could do a different letter and number. Hope this helps.

B.

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

The most important thing you can do for her is to foster a love for reading - not teaching her to read or the letters/numbers, but reading to her half an hour a day - books that she enjoys. As long as she has good behavior she will learn to read just fine in school, as long as she has the foundation of enjoying reading. Also, if her attention span is short, it's time to turn off the tv; no more than 5 hours a week (or less).

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T.H.

answers from Anchorage on

There is a wonderful alphabet set at Walmart in the learning section/toy department. The letters go on the fridge and have a sound box that not only pronunciates the letter/sound but has a little gingle on each letter. My daughter will be four in June and she uses hers daily. Cost is about $20.

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

C.,

I'll probably hear about this from someone, but what worked for my son was the PBS cartoons. Dragon Tales, Word World, Super WHY!, Curious George, Clifford, and Sesame Street are his favorites.

He also went to a daycare/preschool when he was 2 1/2-3 1/2 years old. In the last class he was in they had a letter of the week. They would color that letter, they would have circle time that would emphasize that letter. I don't remember what else they did, but he's now 4 1/2 and has taught himself to read.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

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S.J.

answers from Anchorage on

This is something all mom's go through so don't feel bad! Our's went through the "I can't!" Stage and we are now going through it with another one. This is usually just a short stage in developement, but you can perhapse make it shorter by trying a few things;
Be concious of your child's environment and who she is influenced by, for instance, is she watching shows where people are using self defeating language? Do either you or she have friends who might use this kind of language around her? The real clincher, when other people in the family are confronted with a challenge, how do they respond? If you catch anyone using self defeating language around your daugher it is easy to nip, when someone says "I just can't do this right!" (Or similar,) simply add on something like.."But we are going to try our best and soon I will be able to do it."
A Morning affirmation worked wonders for our daughter, we wrote up something that she had to say that would help build her positive self image. here is what it was: "I am a good sister and a good listener. I am polite, respectful and obedient. I am smart and funny and today is going to be a great day!" Something simple will also help, a classic is: "Every day in every way I get better and better!"
Second, use positive re-enforcement to build self esteem. start a chore chart including simple daily activites like brushing teeth, making bed, combing hair, etc. Creating little milestones and rewarding accomplishments is not only great for self esteem but also helps keep poor behavior at a minimum by emphisizing positives.

Third, When you are in the car together, or at home, play games where they name something they see and you repeat it back with the letter it begins with and the sound the letter makes. This is a great game for learning letter sounds. In addition, if your family allows telivision, use shows like Leap Frog, Brainy Baby, and others that teach learning specific to numbers.

Just some ideas, I am certain it will pass quickly!
Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

I have been letting my two year old watch PBS programs and she has caught on very well with letters and has started pointing them out on signs and boxes, so to help her along I got some videos from the libraby that are alphabet specific there are a few Sesame Streat ones and she loves "the Best Alphabet Video Ever" by Richard Scary. I watch with her (good thing I LOVE Sesame Stream, but then that is one of the reasons she gets to watch it) and say the letters as they are shown to reinforce what they are. We are starting to do the number videos and there were some books at Costco over the holidays that are Write & Wipe Letters and Numbers (she doesn't know about the pen yet) that we are counting and seeing what the letters and numbers look like. I also printed up a page on the computer with upper and lower case letters and numbers up to 25 that we have on the frigde and at the table so that they are in front of her. You could point to the letter that foods begin with or the number of peas on her plate. Make it fun and don't force past her attention span. Maybe for counting let her bake with you and count how many cups go into a batch of cookies and then how many are on the baking sheet and then point to or write the number down.

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C.S.

answers from Seattle on

We loved the Leap Frog Letter Factory DVD.

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J.W.

answers from Detroit on

yes because sbut he is 2................<3 and he is good to

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C.C.

answers from Corvallis on

She's only four. Pushing her to do this now, at this young age, might just backfire on you, in that she may rebel against academic pursuits as she reaches school age. Please, just relax. There are so many other things you can teach your child at this age in ways such that she won't even know you're teaching her. Such as - taking her for nature walks, reading to her, letting her play imaginary games, giving her plenty of time to just be a kid, etc. Four year olds don't need to know how to write. Plus, children develop the necessary motor and cognitive skills for writing at different ages and she'll be ready when she's ready.

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J.B.

answers from Seattle on

C.,
I wouldn't worry. She's only 4. Numbers and ABC's mean nothing at that age esp. if there is no context or "point" to it. My son resisted reading until he was nine. Phonics, writing, or anything "academic" was like torture for him until he decided he wanted to figure out that mystery (reading) that everyone else was learning how to do. He is 10 now and has his nose in a book every spare second of every day. (To think I was ever worried!) My daughter, on the other hand, is 5 and is reading. (She actually spells better than him!)

Both learned their letter I.D. from a wooden alphabet puzzle and my daughter learned to count from playing hide and seek. Both were unintentional learning. Songs are great too.

Remember, she is still very young and play is the most important "job" right now!

Jen

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T.B.

answers from Seattle on

Dear C., everyone is different, but if anything I have to say is helpful, I will be glad. Use what you can, disregard the rest.
First of all, at 4, your daughter is hardly behind all of her peers. You are right, however, not to leave learning for Kindergarten, as there will be so much else to learn when she gets there. Maybe she is seeing it as "work" and not play. I don't know what your situation is, but I always had a variety alphabet books available for my two boys, which they chose more often than not over others. I also went to Children's Book Store and got the alphabet border that gives a word with the letter. Most are very colorful and interesting, and she will be drawn to them, and consciously or not, take in the information. (I am sure you've thought of this, but the alphabet is perfect for a lullaby.) The book store also has number charts, one goes all the way to 100, when your child is ready for that amount. 1-10 should be mastered first, obviously, but just make all of the information available. If she watches TV, make sure much of it is educational programming. My boys are big now (12 and 15), and I can't tell you how much I miss "the Street"! I guess basically, I would suggest that if you keep it available to her, she will gravitate towards it, and you won't feel like you are "pushing".
When she gets to Kindergarten, you will see she is right in there with her peers.
Good luck!
T. B

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B.R.

answers from Seattle on

UNO, have you tried it with her yet? It's great with 4 yr olds, they practice numbers and colors and it's amazing how quickly they learn the wild cards and extras. They love that they are playing a big kid game and can play it with older neighbor kids, cousins, siblings, whatever.

Whatever you do, don't push it. You would be surprised at what she knows but isn't letting you in on.

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K.C.

answers from Richland on

Refrigerater Magnets are a great way to play and discover numbers and letters as well as playing in the kitchen when mom is in there. my kids loved them!
Sincerely
K.
mom of two girls (7 and 9)

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J.B.

answers from Seattle on

If it was my 4 year old (I happen to have one) I would just let her do it in her own time. I don't pressure any of my kids to learn something...they always suprise me. What is the rush?

J.

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S.F.

answers from Eugene on

Hi C.,

Have you tried the alphabet letters and numbers for the bath tub? Both of my kids loved them and asked about what each one was and my daughter, especially, learned them early. My son is 3. It is fun to point out different letters (on signs and books, etc) - my suggestion is to start with the letter that her name starts with. Make a big deal about it. However, she may just not yet be interested. Don't push her too much. She will start inquiring when she is ready.

Hope this helps!

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C.G.

answers from Seattle on

I would let it go. My son was the same way at 4, then the magical day that he started Kindergarten came & he's thriving -knows all his letters & counts/writes to 100, and beyond. Girls do better at this age, so i'm sure she'll exceed what he's done. My son was afraid to be wrong or to fail, and once he got over that & enjoyed his class, he's done well.

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

I have a four year old daughter as well ... what I found that helps is not correcting her all the time. We sing sing sing the alphabet. We count stairs, red lights, food, anything I can think of. When she wants to stop .. we stop. I don't push it on her anymore. I praise praise praise. Just a little bit everyday. You can even sneak teaching time in with games ... it's fun for them and they don't even have a clue you're trying to teach them.

Whenever we see a letter she recognizes, we clap and then I say .. ok let's be "I spies" and look for another letter "E" or whatever the letter may be. It's so much fun. The key is not to correct her when she makes a little mistake. For instance .. is she says her abc's wrong .. I just say good job and keep singing them correctly and she finally got it.

Keep it fun and just try not to drill it into her and she will be fine. It's amazing what sponges these little ones are. You sound like a good Mom, keep up the good work.

Maria

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

The phrase "helping my daughter to keep up" sends up a red flag for me. "Keep up" with what or with whom? That sounds about as much fun as a forced march, and you risk killing her curiosity and joy of learning if you push her faster than she's able to go. Learning, at its best, is naturally fun and exciting for children, and most of it comes in the form of play.

Kids develop in different areas at different speeds - every child is unique, and one of the greatest gifts we can give them as parents is to help them be the individual miracles they are. She's only 4 and doesn't need to read yet. If you are anxious about this, she is very likely to pick up on that.

I will share one thing that my daughter loved at the ages of 4-5. I would let her type long strings of random letters, and then read back to her what she wrote. It was hysterical for both of us, and she loved being an author. Most empowering.

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