Trying to Figure Out My Future?!

Updated on March 27, 2008
T.H. asks from Sacramento, CA
10 answers

I would like to know how you are able to balance work and family. I am the "bread-winner" in my relationship, and although that sounds great, I really want to be home with my children...

He is more than willing to stay home and take care of things, but I'm feeling like I'm missing out, and rather selfish! :) Any advice is very welcome!!

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answers from Dothan on

I understand what you are going though. I was a school teacher and spent several years "raising" other peoples children and I thought that I could NEVER do the stay at home thing - because I have always worked at least 2 jobs.
When I had my son, my hubsband was getting out of the Navy and the plan was that he would stay at home with the baby and I would go to work - well, I realized a couple of things. First it wasn't paying me enough to miss that part of my childs life - and second I could make more money in a home business. So now both of us are working together from home. We don't have to miss anything with our 16 month old. He goes to daycare two days a week mostly for him and so he can play. I would love to talk to you more about homebased businesses - even more than just what I do - if you can find the right one for you and your family I know it would be worth it. Give me a call any time. I honetly won't "sell" you on the business I have choosen, but I will share with you the research that I did - to find the right one for me. Call me any time.
J. Douglas

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Portland on


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answers from Las Vegas on

I, too, will suggest that you do some research about a at-home job. I as well have my own business that I run from home. It allows me to manage all of the house hold responsibilities, be there when my kids get home from school and not send my four year old to daycare - he's in a preschool program half day. I love it. And the good thing is there are many that you can start while you are still working until you can replace your 'job' income and have the opportunity to make more.

My sister used to work while her husband stayed at home. It wasn't because he didn't want to work, it was just at the time, she made more money with better benefits and they didn't want the baby in daycare. Now he is three and they have switched positions. She's at home and he works, but she is in the process of starting their own business and planning to be able to work together and both be at home. And by the way, she is not doing the same thing as I am. There are many opportunities out there. You just have to open your mind and do the research

Contact me if you would like any extra information. Good luck to you.

C. D



answers from Portland on

T., You are not being selfish. And being the "bread winner" does not sound great to me. That is alot of responsibility and stress. I was a single mother and know first hand all the negative reasons for it to not be great. I enjoyed my job, it paid well but I would rather have been at home.

There is not enough information here for some answers. I wonder why you are working and he isn't? Does he have the education and skills to earn as much as you do? If so perhaps you could each work part time. In some families both work but work different shifts. I am wondering why he doesn't work considering the ages of your children. Sixteen and 11 are old enough to be at home alone for a couple of hours after school.

And since he is at home taking care of things you then have the evening to spend with the children if that is what you're missing. He's cooked dinner, done the laundry, cleaned the house? That is what being the house husband is all about. Or is he just staying home without taking on the responsibilities that go along with that? If that's the case I'd recommend some couples counseling so that you can work out a more equitable arrangement.

Because of the children's ages I'm wondering what it is you're missing out on. Perhaps there is a way for you to have that and still work.

I think it's quite reasonable that he work and you don't while you're pregnant especially.

Mostly I'm confused about what is happening.




answers from Los Angeles on

i totally understand. i'm pulled in both directions everyday. i would love to stay at home full time if finances would allow. i feel guilty everytime i leave the house. but until your spouse becomes the breadwinner, there's no changing things. one thing that helps me is i make special time with the kids right after work, before i get too cozy. it helps. but also think about whether or not you'll miss your job if you leave it. the grass is always greener.



answers from Medford on

Work from home, part-time or full-time. That way you don't have to miss out on anything. I love my job from home, great flexibility, and best of all I am home with my son everyday. If you'd like to know more, give me a call ###-###-#### or send me your number.



answers from Las Vegas on

Hi T.,
Have you thought about working from home.
I just wanted to introduce myself real quick. My name is C. and I'm a mom of two kids. I've been a medical assistant for 9 years and decided it was time to start taking care of my own children. My oldest is almost 11 now. Anyway, I started my search to look for something to do from home. I was very skeptical, especially since I have family and friends in the legal field telling me horror stories on home based businesses. I wanted something legitimate. Well, much to my surprise I found something and just in time. I am still able to do my career full time and my home based business also.

I just wanted to share my web site with you. If you are happy at your job, that's awesome. But this can maybe help out and give you some supplemental income. Maybe you are a stay-at-home mom or wife and this is just what you're looking for. Well, I have done this for a three month's now around my children's busy schedules, and home schooling and it has been a true blessing for us.

C. Z.
mother of J'Lee, Bryce
Welcome to C. Z. Stayin Home and Lovin It!



answers from Sacramento on

Hi T.,
Your situation TOTALLY mirrors mine!!! I'M 30 year old, an RN and I work 2 jobs. I work for Healthnet Federal services M-F from 6-2:30pm and then I go to my night job Fri & Sat at Sutter General Hospital from 9:45pm-8:15AM. Crazy huh? And like you, I am the "breadwinner" which I find very empowering, but like you, I want to be at home with my children. My husband has his own Home Theater Business and works from home but business is VERY VERY slow as you know with the way the housing market is going. So he stays @ home with our 2 kids (son 7yrs old daugher 4yrs old) and brings them to school and all that good stuff. I also have a step daughter who doesn't reside with us but spends every other weekend with us (12yrs old going on 13 next month).
I want to stay @ home as well with my children and there's nothing in the world that I want except to spend time with them. I hope to get out of nursing all together this year and go into financial services and concentrate on building my own business. I represent the largest financial services company in the world....our company markets HOPE & OPPORTUNITY to a world filled with negativity and despair. I'm here to tell you that there is HOPE...hope for a better and brighter future for you and your family, an OPPORTUNITY to do something special with your life. I'm sure you thought about what life would be like for you and your family if you could live life with OPTIONS!!!! To be able to do what you want to do, go where you want to go without having to ask your BOSS!! Or how about being able to give your children whatever it is they want (as long as it's ethically and morally right) without having to say, "I'm not sure if we can afford it." How would it feel like if your child had the smarts to go to Harvard but you had no $ to send your child there? Our children are the future and I am about doing everything for mine and for future family generations to come. This is NOT a get rich quick deal or NOT a scam or NOT a pyramid type of thing. T............this is it!!! This is real!!!! This is good!!!! I have never in my life found a company that encompasses everything I am passionate about and that is helping people and doing what is right 100% of the time, a company that says DREAMS are everything and to DREAM BIG. Often times we stop dreaming because the world says to be "realistic". Most people struggle to earn a living and there is a small percentage of the population that actually get to live their's because they were focused and determined to have it. Why deny yourself that opportunity to have what you want? Now............I don't know if this is for you but if I could show you HOPE & OPPORTUNITY, would you at least sit down with me, under NO obligations whatsoever, so I can show you what it is I do and how I help people?




answers from Los Angeles on

T., there are so many options out there and sometimes we need to find our own path. There's a program called Embracing Your Womanhood that I created. It is designed specifically for women like you. It allows you to find your truth and choose powerfully what your womanhood looks like, including career, family, and everything else! Check it out:

My advice would be to take some time to really look and ask yourself what you really love to do. Then, you can start to take steps, even if they are baby steps, at moving towards doing what you love more often. No matter what you think is the "better" thing to do, it all comes down to what you love to do and moving towards that is the key. Embrace your own womanhood no matter what it looks like will end the frustration and feelings of missing out.


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