Trouble with a Teacher

Updated on September 02, 2009
K.E. asks from Franklin, NC
12 answers

My 7yr old son has been placed with a teacher that is known to not like boys, yells alot and is not a very warm person towards the kids. He along with couple other students have already come home requesting a new teacher cause she yells. We have been unable to get him switched into another classroom or school at this time. Home schooling is not an option at this point. Any advice on how to approach this -- especially since we are only in week 2 of school.

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answers from Birmingham on

Go speak to the school principal...Even if you could get him switched that doesnt help the kids who are still in the class. I teacher is suppose to be warm and friendly.

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answers from Birmingham on

We had a "yeller" last year and she was the most miserable teacher we have ever had. When some of the other teachers would ask who our daughter got, they would respond with frowns and quietly say, "sorry, but she'll do fine, just tell her to not get discouraged." I thought GREAT! Our son is a freshman in college and our daughter in 5th grade so we've had a bunch of years with teachers. Our daughter has never a problem learning something but would continuously come home with work that she had no clue about how to do it. This teacher also LOVED to give LOTS of homework. All in all it was a miserable year but one that taught my daughter that sometimes we have to deal with these nasty, unhappy people and we get through it. It was a loooong year but we did make it through it! We would honestly sit for hours doing homework and I would help her to learn what she was doing. This year she has a GREAT teacher with the most calm, nurturing personality and we are thrilled. Help your son to learn our same lesson: these folks are out there and we have to deal with them sometimes, do his best and at least he has two less weeks in the school year. I hope he gets a great teacher next year also to make up for this one!



answers from Pine Bluff on

K., i suggest you go to the school board but be sure you have your facts in order. With both of my boys i ignored some teacher in 1st grade and the other in 3rd both instances it turned out that it was a teacher issue, not a child issue. If you feel strongly about it and others have had the same issues then i think it should be pursued...i'm betting there have been other issues with the same teacher...i have the feeling you're not the first. He's only 7 you don't need that kind of thing at that jr high and high school they will have to learn to deal with different attitudes from different teachs them for the future that you have to learn to deal with different folks personalities and attitudes of those in authority but at 7 they are still trying to learn the basics of eduction and of life and shouldn't have to deal with those type things on a daily basis. Hang in're the MOMMA and that counts. Make some noise! Good Luck R.



answers from Florence on

I am sorry that homeschooling is not an option, it has been a blessing to us. I think you have received a lot of good advice, the only thing I would add is to use this opportunity to teach your son about his own accountablity. The Lord holds each of us accountable for our actions and reactions. Encourage him to remain respectful and obedient. How many, many times in our lives we must respond sweetly in the face of adversity. Of course, our children must be protected and that is where your priority must remain. Maintain your good additude in front of him,also.
God Bless.



answers from Fort Smith on

I taught school for 10 years before having my own children. I have a few suggestions. First, NEVER go above the teacher's head before attempting to work with her first. That almost always backfires. If she finds out (and she likely will) and your child is not moved, he will suffer the consequences of a teacher that is angry with you. I made a point of not blaming kids for their parents' shortcomings, but many teachers don't. Let the teacher know you want to be involved. I think observing for a morning or day is a great idea. Tell the teacher that you are concerned about your child and want to observe his behavior in class. Make it about you and your child and not her. You may express concern to her that he is feeling anxious about school, etc. Teachers will almost always go the extra mile for a child with an involved parent. Teachers like to feel supported and thrive on that. You may observe behavior problems in the class that she is not equipped to handle well. Most of the time a yelling teacher is frustrated and has not learned discipline skills to help them handle some tough problems. Just think, as parents most of us occasionally overreact and yell at our kids - something nobody is proud of. That is VERY magnified in a classroom. I'm not excusing it, just explaining. Most teachers do not get enough training and help with discipline strategies. When a teacher is in front of the class and not proficient at keeping the attention and behavior in check of 25 kids, things unravel quickly. Some teachers are great at discipline, others are great at teaching, but the best can balance both. If you observe problems when you visit, talk to the teacher. If that doesn't solve the problem, then go to the principal. You will not get far if you come in angry and making accusations. Say something like "I am concerned for my child because he is exhibiting [behavior] and very stressed about school." Explain that you observed, talked to the teacher and the problem still exists. Say "What do you recommend that I do." If you let the principal think that he/she is in charge you are likely to get a better solution. You are asking them to do something without telling them to do it. If that doesn't work, go to the next person above the principal - probably at your district office.



answers from Dothan on

From a teachers stand point-
Talk with your schools principal and or counselor on the matter and sit in on a class, always is the weasiest answer to get. I like the education advocate because it will not put your child in the spotlight and should get a true bias feel for your child's classroom environment. An advocate can be a neighbor, friend from church, even a co-worker your child may not know to help them not feel that you are checking up on them. Best to you and your son and yes you are the best advocate for your child. Also volunteering in their room and at their school is another option if swicthing teachers is not an option. If you are unable to another relative could fill in on your behalf, just make sure to follow your schools volunteer program. Best to you and your son.



answers from Enid on

I had almost the same experience last year with my 9-10 year old. I am a single mom and made the choice not to let him switch because I did not want him to think everytime he did not like a teacher, he could switch. I wish I had switched classes. But... another family with the same concerns I had, The father went to the class room and observed on the basis that he wanted to see how his son was acting in class and how the class went so he could better know what to expect from his son and why he was having so much homework. When the teacher saw how involved this family was and would be, she seemed to "take him under her wing" as much as possible for her and he did pretty good in her class. I was just frustrated and miserable along with my son. More understanding when he did not get his "straight A's" and also had started counsoling for anxiety disorder which has improved tremendously with his new teacher! I would not suggest the method I took! either change teachers or let her know your presents in as non threatening environment as you can. If you have any more questions, please don't hesitate to contact me. I hope this helps.



answers from Monroe on


Advice is just what it is, someone's opinion and I am sure you will get plenty.
I can only speak for myself on this matter. We had the exact same issue when our youngest was in grade school. He was in the third grade 8 yrs old, and his teacher was a yeller! I tried to work thru the issues by calming him, consoling him, and explaining he needed to be patient and follow ALL her rules, no matter what.
He tried that but like you all our friends kids who were not in that class said oh my! Sorry! And the friends that did have kids in that class, called us asking constantly what was going on. By this time, it was November of that school year, I tried to work with the principal, no results. He sided with the teacher saying sometimes the kids are a bit too loud and she must use a louder tone to get them to behave. I wish I would have thrown a fit and had him moved to another class...he went thru a horrible year and all year long he had trouble dealing with her, she always would write up him and other kids in the class for the smallest thing such as not raising your hand, asking to go to the bathroom, ridiculus. After that year, he was so tramatized, he started misbehaving here and there and because that teacher had always yelled, and told him he was bad, then he had started to believe that and was starting to act out accordlingly.
Just my two cents - but MOVE YOUR CHILD TO ANOTHER CLASS before she does any further damage to his self esteem!!! Talk to other parents and see if they are having the same issues and go together to principal and have something done. Sorry for the lengthy blog, but we have suffered for years because his self esteem was so damaged by the experience of that teachers horrible comments, and ill willed discipline she used, counselors have told us that's were the issue began...Good luck! FYI...



answers from New Orleans on

I went through this with my son when he was 7. I had numerous meetings with the principle and nothing happened! My child's behavior,attitude,everything started to change it was horrible! I eventually went to the school board. I ended up spending a lot of money to move him back to private school, but at least the board was fully aware of my frustrations and what was really going on. Good luck, I wouldn't expect a lot to happen. I know loads of people who have gone through this unless you get someone higher up on your side it's a loosing battle.



answers from Birmingham on

Hi K.,

When we were in Atlanta we had problems with a 2nd grade teacher. We hired an educational advocate. She sat in on the class. She wanted us to go through a process, but we met with the principal and told her that we had tried everything, and could we change classes to see if it made a difference. We switched the next day. The new teacher was wonderful. I found out later that 3 parents that I knew pulled their kids out of the class and sent them to private school. The teacher had tenure, and they couldn't really do anything about her. You are your child's advocate and you must stay on top of it. Do they let parents sit in on classes here in public schools?



answers from Oklahoma City on

My daughter had a first grade teacher who was terrible. Yelled, wrote BIG red letter F's at the top of the paper ( I mean 4 inches) if they got all of the problems right but failed to circle something or did any one little thing wrong. I spoke to the principal and it was not much better. However, my daughter had friends in the class and didn't really want to switch. We decided to let her stay. She learned that she had to deal with difficult people sometimes and it increased her sense of self worth to see that she was capable of managing a bad situation. She knew she had our support. When she grew up, she had a boss like Mrs. N and she really felt that her experience in first grade helped her manage a difficult boss. Good luck to you what ever you decide to do. The principal in our case moved Mrs. N to the 5th grade and then eventually to a desk job. Some people just shouldn't be teaching!



answers from Tulsa on

Is it really her or does your child just not like her? If the claims are true, this kind of behavior from a teacher is unacceptable. I would talk with the teacher first to try and resolve the issues at hand. If you don't see any changes then I would suggest talking with the principal and possibly to school board.

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