Transitioning into Daycare

Updated on September 18, 2008
C.M. asks from Cheshire, CT
6 answers

I've just put my 13 month old into daycare this past week and he is having a really hard time transitioning. He just crys and moans when I am gone and attaches himself to one of the caregivers (and its hard for her to care of the other children). When either my husband or I pick him up he is so happy, he crys! I know the caregivers are kind and good with him but I am not sure how to make his transition any easier. My son has his favorite blanket with him and carries it all day long. A little history, he was in daycare before from 3-9 months old and then we moved to CT last May and has been home with me until now. Any suggestions!! Help!!! Thank you!!

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all for your advise and just moral support. We have started his second week and he seems to be doing better. On top of it all, I realized during his first week at daycare, my son started to get 2 of his first molars as well! So that could also be contributing to his unhappiness as well! Thank you again!

More Answers

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P.M.

answers from New York on

I'm going through the same thing right now. I enrolled my 20 month old in day-care three half days, and he's having a hard time too. He has his blanky the entire time, and attached himself to the teachers. Thankfully, they have only four kids in that class with 2 teachers, so the ratio is working for me. He basically whimpers the entire time he's there. Usually my husband drops him off, but that doesn't make a whole lot of difference. To give you some background, we had a nanny come to our house to watch him and he was fine with that. As a matter of fact, he is fine with anyone watching him at the house, I guess that's his territory and he's comfortable knowing mom and dad come home to him. It's been hard, but I think like others are saying not much we can do. It's heart breaking, and I'm wondering if it's worth it if he's not ready, and if I should stick to the nanny full time. Good luck with you, I hope it gets better.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

I'm sorry to say I have no advice on this one. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. My 15 month old just started part-time day care three days a week and does the same thing. When I pick her up she wont even let me put her in the car seat...I have to sit her in the car for about ten minutes before we can go. She now attaches to my leg for most of the day...and wants to be with Mommy constantly.

From hat my friends and family say is that this will fade once she is familiar with daycare and being away from Mom.

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B.A.

answers from New York on

My daughter experienced the same difficulties going to daycare, and that made me very upset. What helped a little was when her teachers asked her to draw pictures of her home and parents right after I left her there - it helped her transition. But although this helped her bounce back faster, she still cried when I left, and I felt awful leaving her. I finally realized that our anxieties were bouncing back and forth between us: I was anxious about leaving her, and she was picking up on my anxieties. So try to reassure her (and yourself), try not to anticipate her upset, and be positive - it really can help. Good luck!

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A.J.

answers from Albany on

I wish I could give you better advice, but I think in time he will adjust. Toddlers around this age, regardless of being in a daycare or at home, experience separation anxiety, usually peaking at 10 months & 18 months. This may just help you to understand, developmentally, what is going on. It is not you, not the daycare workers, it is just a typical part of his development. Stay strong.

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M.S.

answers from New York on

My son is VERY attached to me so I have my husband drop him off every morning, usually. He is usually calm andplays with the other children with no problem. This moring I dropped him off and he yelled his head off! Needless to say my husband will contiue to drop him off because it makes life easier. Does your son display the same/similar behavior? If so can hubby drop him off?

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N.A.

answers from New York on

I just put my daughter into daycare also! I was soooo hard, but I am going to school now and she is at the daycare there. She actually did very well! She is 2, so a lil older than your boy, but I made a big deal out of calling it school instead of daycare. If you and your son know any older children explain to him that they go to school, and he is going to school just like them. I tried to be as calm and coolabout the whole thing and Especially around drop off time (even though I was a bundle of emotion inside I didn't let her see it). I always talk about something fun that she can do while she is there just before I drop her off, and when I do drop her off I just say i will be back in a little bit, kiss her hug her and then go, and don't look back. If you look back they think you may change your mind about leaving them there.
Another possible help would be, get together with one of the other moms that have their child there and have a play date outside of daycare with that child. then when he goes to school you can tell him he will see his friend there. Or just tell him he is going to play.
These are some of the things I did and so far they seemed to work. Althought the 2nd week the whole way up to school she was saying No School, but she got over that lil stage. Sometimes I think it is worse for me then it really is for her. As moms we alwyas want to be wiht our children and protect them from anything they don't like or enjoy.
Another thing is, when my daughter was 13 months old she was going through another attachment phase, maybe that amplifies the situation. Eventually your son will love being there with the other kids so don't worry , it just may take some time. BUT HANG IN THERE! I know how hard it is!!!!!! I cried when I dropped her off the first day! I was a wreck... But guess what .. They will be ok.
Good luck I hope some of the advice helps, it is a tough change to go through for both you and your son.

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