Transitioning Baby to Crib, HELP!!

When my son (now 5 1/2 yrs.) was a baby I read a book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and it had some great ideas in it. First I would let him play in his crib while I was nearby so he was used to it. Then I started putting him in his crib for naps (I would rock him to sleep, then gently lay him in the crib.) Also, if he wakes up crying I never talk to him or make a noise, I just lay him back down, rub his back, maybe find the pacifier for him, but the important thing is not to talk to him. It makes a lot more sense when you read the book and see the other suggestions as well. Good Luck!

Try rasing one end of the crib matress. that way he's propped up like he is the swing. my daughter would only sleep if she was proped up. my doctor said it helps them breathe easier too.
Hope this helps!

I had similar problems with my son. Think about it- he's used to sleeping in a snuggly swing or with his mommy. Then you expect him to go into the vast space of a crib! I suggest get one of those sleep positioners so that he feels snug or swaddle him, though he might be too old for that. Anyway be patient, I remember those days, and know that this phase will pass.

I'm not big on sleep training. Obviously your little one is not quite ready to be alone. He's used to being next to mommy, why would he love a big cold bed of his own? Slowly try to get him comfortable with his crib, while you're there. Don't leave him in there alone for a while, you need to rebuild trust and he needs to know that the crib is the place where mommy abandons him (that's how he feels right now). Crying it out is one of the worst things you can do for the parent child trust relatonship. I would say mostly though to give it more time. We went through the same thing, and when the time was right, my little girl transitioned to her crib with little protest.

My little girl is 5 months and we've been going through the EXACT same thing. I bought "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, and it has been a big help so far. If you are willing to commit to her suggestions for several weeks, you should see a difference (It isn't a miracle worker, it is an excellent, REASONABLE guide that WORKS without your baby shedding one single tear). I saw a difference in the first 2 nights with our little girl. It has a ton of suggestions for people that are going through different sleep issues. I am just getting her into a routine with bedtime, and then we are going to work on transitioning her to her crib. For now, I'll take sleep any way I can get it. Finally she is sleeping in our bed without me in it! She goes to bed between 7-8 and sleeps until 7-8 the next morning. She still wakes to be nursed though. However, this is a huge improvement for us. And I feel empowered by the new info I got from the book and that even better sleep for all of us is coming each day.

I'm sure you've by now gotten a surfeit of advice on how to accomplish the goal of weaning him to a crib. In spite of all those who will surely say he has to sleep in his crib and he's safer in his crib, I'll share the following:

I've been cosleeping with my family since my oldest was born, 11 years. My parents coslept with me and my two younger sisters as well. I don't think any of us is extremely maladjusted pyschologically as a result- we're all married with kids! And we certainly survived the experience. Furthermore cosleeping is the norm in many countries- Japan for instance.

James McKenna is a researcher at the University of Notre Dame who has done and is doing extensive research on infant sleep and mother-infant sleep. Google the web for his name and you will find information on safe cosleeping and testimonies from the thousands of families who cosleep and have coslept successfully. Crib manufacturers are not the only infant safety experts out there!! Mothers and fathers have been keeping their babies safe at night for generations.

My 11 year old and 8 year old now sleep in their own room in their own beds. My 5 year old (who has special needs, he is in a wheelchair full time) is in transition to his own bed, and our 3 yo and 14 mo still sleep with us. If I weaned early, I might have already gotten them into their own beds, but since they are still nursing I find it easiest and most comfortable for me to have them right there. I am lucky to be a good sleeper and have good sleepers, they rarely disturb me. My sister, who has 3 kids, has had to make creative arrangements to cosleep successfully, as she and they are lighter sleepers and tend to disturb each other. Still in any situation there is a solution if you are willing to think outside the box. Or in this case, outside the crib!

Good luck with it!

Hi S.,

I have a five year old and 2 year old and I'm also a Parent Educator and Coach. Please don't feel pressured to have your small infant son sleep all by himself in his crib. Some babies transition smoothly into a crib, but some do not. All babies are biologically built to let their mothers know through their crying that they need you, that don't feel safe, that they want to be close to you.

If he is sleeping well with you and you are sleeping well with him, there is nothing better than sleep! For eons of time and all over the world mothers and babies sleep together. He smells you, he hears your heart beat, he feels safe next to you.

The two things babies must have in order to thrive are closeness to their caregiver and touch. He gets both by sleeping with you. If you insensitively let hims cry-it-out at such a young age it will shatter the trust between you and make him potentially more demanding and clingy as he grows into toddlerhood. He is telling you that he can't sleep alone; he misses you.

If you really can't sleep with him in your bed, then move his crib into your room and use the side-car crib idea. This way he is sleeping in his crib, but he feels he is still close to you. As he gets older he will be able to transition more easily into his own room when he feels more secure.

My two children co-slept with us or shared a room with us. Now, both of them sleep together in their own room. It is so obvious that they need human contact through the night. Isn't is ironic that most of us like the contact of our spouses with us at night and yet we are expecting our babies to sleep all alone?

Be gentle with yourself and your baby. If you feel a lot of pressure from other mothers to have a baby sleep in his crib by himself, please relieve yourself of that pressure. Your relationship with your baby and what is best for his development is what is most important not whether or not the playgroup approves of your parenting methods.

If you need more support, please don't hesitate to contact me. Your intuition is telling you that he needs you in the night. That's a sure sign of a great mom!

Hi there -
That's always a tricky one to deal with. It sounds like he's just not ready to be away from you. We dealt with the same thing with our son.

Althought it seems like he's been around for a long time, 5 months is really still young, and the best thing you can do for him is to always be there for him. If he needs to stay in your room for a while longer, of if you need to sleep in his room, you should totally do it.

Every bit of reassurance will benefit him later. The more he develops an anxiety about being in the crib or being away from you, the harder it will be in the future.

Not every baby is a good sleeper, so just do what your gut tells you and not what you read in a book. That is, if your instinct is to not let him cry (especially if he gets that upset!), then just comfort him. It is a fleeting time. As hard as it is on you, there will be an end to it and he will sleep in his crib.

Just work with him and don't force anything. It will come.
Enjoy him and spoil him with your love -best wishes!

I have a 13 mo. old son that we got successfully in the crib at 4 mo. by doing the following:
-Halo snuggly fleece sleep sack over jammies
-Homedic sound machine for white noise-he likes the rain (still use it-he knows when he hears that it's time to sleep)
-Mobile or someting that projects images on the ceiling-this is a distraction and at that age they loves lights)
-we always, put on jammies, turn on the machines, give bedtime bottle in the nursery,hold him for a few minutes and move around the room then put him down, say "love yous" then out we go. Same thing every night.
I can count on less than three fingers the times I have had to return. He loves his crib and I think of you can get him to like being in there you will be ok. Maybe pop him in during the day with some toys and fold laundry next to him or play peek a boo or something.

Good luck,
Val

I feel your pain. My 7 month old finally started sleeping in her crib last weekend. She still wakes up and I go to her room pat her on her back and she falls asleep again. She wakes up about 3 times still. She slept w/ me for 7 months. She also slept in her swing. On super nanny this family had the same problem. And I did what she advised. She said when they wake up in there crib pat her on her back and say one thing. I always say "It's okay baby mamas right here", then the next time they wake up she says pat baby on back and don't say anything. I didn't think it would work. I let my baby fall asleep w/ me and me or her dad will carry her upstairs to her crib she will sleep for about 2 hrs. wake up then I pat her on her back and play her music and she falls back asleep. She would sleep another 3 hrs wakes up and I give her a bottle (I know thats not good to do) and then she wakes up sometimes around 3-3:30 a.m. I do get up a lot but she's sleeping in her crib and its a start. Its h*** o* me b/c I do go to work. I work in a Dr. office ,I'm a nurse, so I do get tired and sleepy. I'm glad she is starting to sleep in her crib. I'm not gonna lie I do miss her sleeping beside me.

We are in the middle of this process - our baby girl is 2 months old. I read the Healthy Sleep Habits book. It gave good advice about the sleep window but it is definitely pro-CIO and I had some other problems with it, I won't go into... I don't think CIO destroys people for life but I'm not crazy about it as a mama & want to try other solutions. I liked the book Sleeping Through the Night better.

At first, she hated being on her back anywhere. She would only sleep in her swing or with me on my boob (and would startle awake if I moved at all - so you can see why we need to phase out co-sleeping - so that I can be rested and sane after going back to work). However, I cannot let a baby this young cry without intervening for anymore than 5 minutes (or less if the cries are escalating).

So here's the drill: I breastfeed her, check her diaper, and swaddle her before putting her down. We started putting her down for naps, and then moved on to putting her down for the night. The key is to watch for the sleep window, whenever that happens (the schedule apparently comes FROM their natural rhythms) - don't miss the window - we look for the yawn, the tired lidded eyes blinking slowly - then rock a little with her over the shoulder while singing, then rock a little holding on her back - while eyes are still open but sleepy. That's all the routine part. Then into her crib, in this elaborate setup: first years cosleeper that we had had in our bed (that she hated sleeping in the whole first 2 months, even though we were right there), sleep positioners at her sides, used nursing pads in the corners so she can smell her mama, putting her either on her back or alternating sides, then turn on the homedics sound machine on rain. Make sure both cats are out of the room, close door.

The REM cycle is 45 minutes. Sometimes she wakes at 45 minutes and cries very halfheartedly for less than 2 minutes and goes back to sleep - that much CIO I can live with. If she wakes anytime after 2 hours, I go to her and check the diaper, then bring her to nurse in side-lying position and sleep with me the rest of the night. The key is to do a routine and start in the crib, get through a few REM cycles with some self-soothing, and over time that first block in the crib will get longer and longer until it's morning. That's the theory, don't know if it will work... so far we have been getting longer and longer blocks but her stomach is still so small that I think the maximum for now is 4 hours. Still, 4 hours of sound sleep for me, followed by 4 hours of less-sound sleep is better than 8 hours of less-sound sleep was. Hope this combination of techniques is helpful. At first I thought there was no middle ground between CIO (where the baby's emotional needs for security are not met) and attachment parenting (where the parents' physical needs for sound blocks of sleep at night are not met), but now I'm starting to think there may be a middle ground possible. Good luck.

S. it may be very helpful to you and your son if you place a t-shirt that you have worn all day in the crib with him at night. It may soothe him to have your scent near him when he is trying to fall asleep. Be sure to leave to t-shirt in crib until he forms a better sleep pattern. It may also be necessary to change out the t-shirt once a week to ensure that your scent is present. I have a 6 year old son and a 3 year old daughter & it worked quite well for both of them. Be patient and consistent. Good luck to you and your entire family.

Read the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantely (sp?) It saved us and our daughter. Though adjusting to the crib was fine, the sleeping through the night was our problem. Don't give up, if you're into the family bed idea, try that, your little one wants some love and attention. Keep a good routine going and keep trying, don't give up, he'll figure it out soon enough. Make sure you don't put him down asleep, but either awake or at least drowsy, this way he'll figure out how to put himself back to sleep, another mistake we made with our first. Good luck, read the book, I promise it will be the BEST thing you have read and it will help, promise!!
A.

Hi, I know this can be a hard time, but you can sleep train your baby. I used a couple of books that really shed some light and wisdom on the situation. 'Good Night, Sleep Tight' (by K. West) and 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' (by Marc Weissbluth) helped me but there are other good choices out there too.

Have you tried a co-sleeper? Our son slept with us until he was 3 months old, then we moved him to the co-sleeper until he was about 6 months (he started crawling out of it). Then we moved him to his crib which was in our room until just two nights ago (almost 9 months and now in is own room). I don't know if something like that would help, it's a lot of transitioning, but our son has adjusted really well. I have found that the final transition to his room, in his crib, he actually sleeps great......and now so does mamma and daddy! The hardest part was getting him to learn to fall asleep on his own. I can't say it happened without tears, but that ended up being small in comparison to the great strides we have made with his sleeping independence. All babies are different though and some sleep better than others.

Also, can you get him to play and/or nap in his crib in the day so it's not a 'bad place'?

I wish you luck, and know that there is an end in sight!

I would just let him sleep in his swing if he likes it that much and if it means you can get more sleep at night. My oldest who is now 3 slept in his carseat till he was almost a year old before I put him to bed in his crib. The doctor that we were seeing at the time said that it was just fine. Good luck!

Morning S.,

You could try putting a piece of your clothing with him when you put him down...I have a 5 month little boy and 2 1/2 year old girl. With my son, i put him in his crib when he turned 3 months and needed to put my shirt with him when he slept, so he would always smell me. Even when he was in the swing, bounce chair or in the car seat, he always had my shirt from the night before....

Give it a try and see how it goes... Good luck.

S. Perry - mother of 2 works full time.

Hi, I don't know if this will work for you, but it did for me. I talked to the doctor and they suggested the cry it out method. Well, like you, I could not stand that and my child appeared to be suffereing. I did my own thing. I started rocking my daughter to sleep. When she was really good and asleep, I would lay her down in her crib. It didn't matter if she only slept and hour in there or four hours, as long as she knew that it was her bed. See, I think you have to start them out small and let them know you will be there when they need you. It has been working for us and there are many, many nights when she will sleep for 8-10 hours or more in her crib. Hope this helps, good luck to you. I know it is hard, I have been there. There is also another solution that worked for a friend of mine. She bought a vibrating mattress that you turned on and it would stay on for like twenty minutes. She says it worked for her, but I did not have the money to afford that mattress.

This may be one of those times when you just put him in it and let him cry so he will know this is where he is supposed to be and this is the rules and that is it... period. It doesn't hurt them to cry and it will be a hole lot easier now than to wait till he is a year.
If you don't mind him sleeping with you every night then that is fine, personally I wanted some alone time with my husband so I had a choice. To this day she loves her crib and will tell me when she wants to get in it. Sometimes we are in her room and she wants to get in there and play. I had to let her cry for the first couple of days when I did the transition also and it was the BEST move that I ever made. People told me that I would have to put her in there and let her cry and I thought that was so mean but I bit the bullet and did it and it wasn't mean... there are just things in life that you have to teach them and it is for the best. Best move that I made.

The bedtime routine is key with my baby. I started by giving her a bottle or nursing her in her room with just a nightlight on. I let her drift off to sleep in my arms and then placed her in her crib. After a few successful nights of that, I put her in her crib while she was still awake but drowsy (after a bottle) and stood there patting her bottom and rubbing her back until she fell asleep. NOTE: This step takes alot of patience! After we did that for a week or so, I would give her a bottle and put her directly to bed with only a kiss goodnight. She would kind of fuss for a minute or so, but then she would fall asleep. Now, I put her in be after her bottle and she curls right up an, I swear, falls asleep before I reach the door.
A side note...during this "training" process, when she would wake in the middle of the night, I would have to repeat these steps.
I hope this helps!

S. , he will cry and cry! DO it now or it will get worse. Just rub his little head a few times during his crying and let him know you are near, he will get used to it. Sleepless nights you will have , but it will be better in the longrun!They all cry like that when they ae "taken" out of their comfort zone.

PERSISTENCE is the key! and a consistent sleep schedule. Babies are tired an hour and a half after they wake up in the morning, and then an afternoon nap 2-3 hours after the morning nap. An hour and a half after he wakes up in the morning, lay him down in his crib, while he's still awake but groggy, with a toy or mirror tied to the side of his crib for him to look at. If he cries, let him; try the Ferber method. Let him cry for 5 minutes, go in quietly and soothe him, but try not to pick him up, rub his belly. After he's calmed down to the point of almost sleeping, leave. If he cries again, let him cry for 10 minutes; then repeat, adding 5 minutes every time he cries. Most moms think this is torture, but really you are teaching him to self-soothe, and this REALLY WORKS!! I worked in daycare for a while and that's where i learned this technique; I also applied it to my own kids, and they both learned to self-soothe by 5 months. This will take a while, maybe weeks, because he's already used to sleeping with you. Try to find something he's really attached to, like a toy or blanket, that you feel safe putting in his crib with him. Maybe try putting a shirt or something with your smell on it in the crib with him, so when he smells the shirt, he thinks he's with you and doesn't feel alone. That works too. This will probably be hard for you, but if you want success, you must stick to your guns! Good Luck!

S.,
First remember this too shall pass. His crying is more from being upset at being alone, than being hurt or something. Let him cry for a couple of minutes while you are outside his room. Then go in a comfort him without getting him out of the crib if you can. Put him back down and leave again for a little bit longer before going back in to comfort him again. This can be a process, but it does work and lets him know you are still there, but also lets himm learn how to comfort himself. Other helps might be some soft music and his favorite stuffed animal or blanket and just playing in the crib during the day so he gets used to it.

As a side, note I had both of my girls in thier cribs alone from day one. I went to their room to nurse at night. Neither had any problems sleeping alone because they never knew anything different. It keeps your bed, yours.

Do you put him in there while he is awake?

I started out by just giving both of my kids naps in their crib for a while. That way, when they woke up alone, they weren't in a completely dark room by themselves. I would also let them lie in the crib and watch their mobile or play with a rattle or two while I did something else in the room where they could see me(usually my ironing). Once they got used to the crib, it was no big deal to get them to sleep in it at night.

Have you tried to use a foam wedge to elevate your baby's head? When they are in the swing they are in an upright position to sleep and get used to that, so they are more comfortable in that position. I propped my youngest up on a firm wedge and it helped a lot because she didn't like to be laid flat on the crib mattress. You can find the wedges in the bedding section of most stores. I hope this is useful!

Hi S.,

How? I hope all is well. Keep trying it will get easy. Maybe do couple minutes while he's up. Playing some games with him. Then take him out. Then time a little longer and play so he can get to be at peace with his new surrounding. Don't give up.

T.

My oldest got used to taking naps in his carseat, and then refused to nap when I finally started putting him down for naps in his crib (although he had no trouble sleeping in his crib at night). I think he was just used to being snuggled by the car seat, so I put one of the carseat headrests in the crib for him to snuggle his cheek against, and then I rolled up baby blankets and tucked them tight up against him from his armpits down. They did help to soothe him in the wide open crib, but I also had to just let him cry it out. There were some days when he would cry for the whole hour, but some days he would cry for 45 minutes then only sleep for 30, but it was a start. It took about two months to help him recover from sleep deprivation and to get him to go down for naps in his crib without any trouble. I used the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, and I wish I had read that book while still pregnant with my eldest. That way I wouldn't have made the mistakes I did. I was able to use what I had learned from the book with my second son, and we have never had any real trouble with him sleeping anywhere. Good luck!

First of all, please thank your husband for his service to our country from our family. We appreciate the sacrifice you go through!

Does your son like to sleep in his car seat? If so, perhaps put him in his car seat and place that in his crib. I read about this method in one of my sleep books. Have you tried just putting him in his crib for a minute or two at a time and letting him "play" there? Perhaps while he is in there stand over it and play with him. After a minute or two, take him out. I would try to do this for longer periods of time so he can see the crib is an OK place to be. Also, have you thought of moving the crib next to your bed and letting him sleep in it next to you?

Hope it helps! :)

We had to go through the same thing around the same time. Just clear his crib and let him cry himself to sleep. You only think his is gasping for air because you are sensitive to him, but he is fine. Just leave the door to the room cracked so you can check on him with out him seeing you. The crying will start our lasting about 45min or so, and then it will go down gradually as he learns to soothe himself. Getting a battery operated mobile might also help.

Good luck and God Bless,

Putting my boy in his zipadee-zip helped us so much with the this transition! It kept him so snuggled that he started sleeping longer right away!