Transition to Big Girl Bed - Birmingham,AL

Updated on March 11, 2010
S.S. asks from Birmingham, AL
7 answers

How do I make the change from my bed to a big girl bed without all the crying and yelling. But here's the thing she's been in my bed since she's came from from the hospital at 4 days old. Yeah, I'm a wimp...and she'll be TWO in June. Please help

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answers from Fayetteville on

I don't think you are a wimp.

I co slept with my daughter until she was 2.5 years old. When we made the switch to her own bed, I made sure her bed was big enough for me and her to lay down in. Then I would lay down with her til she was asleep, and leave when she was asleep. At first she woke up a few times a night and I would go lay with her and pass out or go back to my bed. After a few weeks of this and she was used to her bed and her room and waking up less, when she DID wake up Dad stepped up to the plate and would go to her and tell her mommy was sleeping and couldn't come lay with her. She was a little sad but ok and soon started sleeping through the night in her own bed.

It was a gradual gentle process and she was ready. To this day, at age 7 she still loves going to bed and has no problems. I feel like its important to meet their needs and then when those needs are met, they won't have those needs anymore.

I plan to do the same thing with her little sister when she is ready. She is 10 mos old so Im just watching to see what she needs as every child is different.

Good luck! :)



answers from Houston on

Start by laying down with her in her bed, when she falls asleep you get up and go to your bed.

I am doing this with my son who insists that I sleep with him. It will take some time.



answers from Lafayette on

I have no advice...but you are not a wimp!!! I too kept my girls in bed with me for quite some time. They are now 16 and 11, well adjusted AND sleeping in their 'big girl' beds. HA!HA!
I will say - on nights their Dad has to go on overnight trips (maybe 2 a year), they looooove to make it a slumber party. They drag their blankets and pillows and all three of us will watch TV until we fall asleep.
Good luck - Many of us have been there and we're cheering you on!



answers from Oklahoma City on

I don't have any particularly useful advise, but I'd like to say that you are not a wimp... many mothers are choosing to raise their children this way because they feel it's a more loving environment. Every child has different needs, and it could be that you're just going through a phase where changing something like that is going to be difficult. (I've heard that between the ages of 18 months and 3 years it's tough to change anything for them b/c they are doing so much changing on their own... they resist outside changes) You might try looking up Dr. Sears online for advice about this... he's a great proponent for attachment parenting which includes cosleeping, so he should have some advice for parents who want/need to adjust the sleeping arrangements. Good luck!



answers from Springfield on

Sorry I am afraid there isn't a " no crying or yelling" method :(. I made this mistake with my daughter too and the only thing that worked was letting her realize that her new bed is where she is supposed to sleep. It will take some time, but believe me it won't be all that bad. They get over it-- you can make the transition more comforting for her by getting her a special 'lovey' or build-a-bear that she only gets when she is in her bed. you can also start a bedtime routine w/ a story in 'her' bed and mabe patting her back w/ soft music playing, but DO NOT give in once you start. When you do you let them know that if they scream long enough they can get what they want (i made that mistake too--so i understand the wimp mentallity) However in the end, i wanted my bed back (lol)--my DH was a wild sleeper and me and her dad was ready for our bed back. i was also tired of getting kicked in the neck and ribs LMOA My daughter is 8 now and she doesn't even remember anything; you won't even thnk abt it after the trial of crying is over and 6yrs have passed --lol. You have to realize that she has developed this way of thinking that with you is where she is supposed to sleep and it will take some time to readjust but soon she will realize where her bed is and won't even remember how she slept w/ you the first two years. Remember also that this is natural, they will also do this with school, ect any new experiences. We make it harder on ourselves by giving in to their cries. Just keep reassuring her. Good luck.


answers from Fort Smith on

I don't think you are a wimp either. I did this also with not only my first, but w/all 3 and I'm pregnant w/#4 and I'll probably do it again. We put a full bed in our room next to our king bed. My 5 and 2 year old sleep on it now. We did just buy bunk beds, but the room we put them in is on the other side of the house. I do plan on getting the 2 in those beds, but dread them being across the house. We also have the baby bed in our room and my almost 2 year old sleeps w/us now. It is so hard, but I know I'm not alone and know others that do the same thing and they just remind me that they are only young once and they will soon not want to be in the same room w/us and they'll want their own rooms/beds. I have watched The Nanny and do plan on using her tips - w/just not talking and keep putting them in their beds without talking to them. Or I will probably just lay w/my 2 year old (on bottom bunk) till both are asleep. Also I have to pull my 5 year old out of the bed in the mornings for her to get up and get dressed, so it will be hard when she is on the top bunk - I can't reach her up there. ha! I'm with you though...I dread it!
Good Luck!!



answers from Little Rock on

I went through this same thing. You are not a wimp; the child is just well loved. This is what I did. I would lie next to my daughter every night until she fell asleep. Then I would slowly ease away. After a while, I purchased a large ragdoll and replaced myself with it. The illusion of not being alone worked like a charm for her; maybe it will work for you.

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