Toothfairy - What Age to Tell Them the Truth

There's no Tooth Fairy (Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, etc)!?!
When did this happen!?! I didn't get the memo on this one!
Don't sweat it.
Truth tends to differ with every point of view.
Kids need to learn how to handle nonsense.
It prepares them for politics.

I just had the same thing happen with my five year old, a girl on her cheer squad told her Santa wasn't real. Her dad always says that he doesn't believe in Santa but doesn't say he's not real. She asked me and I asked her did she want me to tell her the truth and she said yes. Sooooo I did you should have saw her face it was too funny. Then a few weeks later the tooth fairy came up and she wanted to know the truth again, Soooo I told her..lol.. I also told her she couldn't tell her lil sister and ruin it for her. She's just 9mo.

Well, I may be in the minority here but I tend to think that people who say that the Tooth Fairy and Santa are "lies" lack imagination. These things are real because we make them real. And if you do want to get literal, you did not lie.

What will I tell my kids when they get older? Well, it will depend on their personalities. With my oldest, I am pretty sure that if I tell him it's real because Mom & Dad MAKE it real, he'll understand. After all, he likes to take a herd of horses grocery shopping and he's happiest when I 'see' them too...

Life can be full of magic & make-believe, even if you're grown. And I hope all 3 of my boys have enough joy to see the truth in that, no matter how old they grow...

Anyway, that's my approach to these things. And yes, I have been working for Santa for years.

My kids are 24 and 15. I've never told either of them that the tooth fairy or Santa or the Easter Bunny aren't real. They obviously know better, but there was never any discussion about it. My kids both knew kids when they were little that told them there was no such thing and I just told my kids that "there isn't any such thing for the kids who don't believe" and my kids always preferred to play along. Life is more fun that way, in my opinion.
My son tore his knee open and had to get stitches. He was surprised to find money under his pillow. Not every kid gets a visit from the Stitch Fairy!
Did he ask me if there was really any such thing? Of course he didn't. Did he consider it a "lie" when I pretended to not know how it got there? Of course not.

I don't see how little things like this are the same as telling a lie.
I just told my kids that there was no point in Santa or the Tooth Fairy or Easter bunny presents for kids who don't believe in it. Lose a tooth, I can hand you a dollar, or not. No need for anybody to bother with looking under the pillow. Even when they got things figured out, they let me have my fun and they still got to have theirs.

My son babysits for a little boy who is 9. Last Christmas he asked Santa for a bike, but told my son he didn't really believe in Santa. He asked my son if he still believed in Santa and he said yes he does. My son said, "Kids who tell everyone they don't believe in Santa anymore quit getting Santa presents. I've seen it happen a bunch of times, but Santa still brings me things."

My son told the mom what he'd said and she was so glad about the way my son handled it. A bunch of kids had been telling the little boy there was no such thing and she had told him if he was done believing in Santa, Santa would not be bringing him anything and he could wait for his birthday for the bicycle.
He quit trying to convince his mom there was no Santa and got his bike.

Kids get to be young for such a short time. We don't have to be bluntly honest about them with every single thing. I think some fun, fantasy and surprise is good for them as long as they're willing to play along. I know that I have really enjoyed the surprises and the fun of doing little special things for my kids.

I agree with the two posts below... it's real out of our imaginations. I'm sure around 9, they will know it's pretend, which is why he asked. If he asks again, just ask him what he thinks and tell him it's a real game the family plays together for the fun and wonder of it all.

About Santa Clause, it's not technically a lie... he is based on a real person. So, have that info to back up when he asks.
http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=23

My oldest is 14 and I never told her the truth. Her tooth fairy also included a note with the money and to this day the last note she received sits in her tooth pillow on her shelf. Whenever my kids questioned me I told them if they did not believe in the tooth fairy or Santa then they would stop visiting. I did not come right out and say it was real or not. These are cute games we play with our children that gives a sort of whimsy about childhood. Why take it away?

Our 7 (now 9 year old) just flat out said, "Mom, I know that you're the one who takes my tooth!" I denied it to the end until that Easter she was stubborn about it and we told her that it's not really real, but something fun to do with your kids and now she loves to help with her little sister. I found out at age 8 about Santa. It wasn't a big deal to me b/c my parents told me that I could help keep the magic alive with my younger siblings.

You know, once Santa goes they all do. I really don't see the harm in letting a kid believe until they just don't. My oldest is 13 and she was literally 11 before she really admitted in a round about way that she didn't believe. You know depending on what you believe....what's the big deal? Let kids enjoy the fun until they don't...we all know that adulthood is way harder than any of us ever thought it would be.

Good luck, lighten up and just know he won't be scared for life if he believes in something til he's 10.

Enjoy,
DH

When either of my kids asked if the tooth fairy was real, I merely asked my kids if they believed and told them that the tooth fairy didn't come to non believers. My son (the oldest) pronounced that he didn't believe, left a tooth anyway and it was still there in the morning. So I just never answered their question - left it up to them to "declare". The Santa thing just run its course after that.....

Have you read the original response to Virginia O'Hanlen's question? "Dear Editor, I am eight years old. Some of my little friends tell me there is no Santa. Papa says, if you see it in the Sun, it's so. Please tell me the truth. Is there a Santa Clause?" The response is wonderful (look it up, if you get the chance), but in a nutshell, the editor tells her that Santa exists "as long as love, and generosity, and devotion exist, and you know these abound, and give to your life its greatest joy and happiness." Our family has always made our own "magic." Even to the point of my husband and I sneaking things into each other's stockings, and my brother and I sneak things into our parents' stockings, and they do each other. Never with tags, of course -that spoils the game.

I don't think my daughter really believes in the Easter bunny, or Leprechauns for that matter, but there are fake gold coins in the yard on St. Patrick's day, and eggs in the yard on Easter. I suspect she knows, and she's only four - she's hasn't even been introduced to the tooth fairy, yet. But it doesn't matter. Mommy and Daddy Magic make it work, so she accepts and plays the game.

And Family Magic is made out of love. When your child understands, he can be part of the Magic games, too. It's fun, and sometimes a surprise to see what we can all come up with for each other. And it needn't be for any reason at all, once the games start. It's the same as leaving love notes in your child's lunch box, or your husband's sock drawer. I view the Tooth Fairy, Santa, et al, as an introduction to the game.

It's the same reason we put a penny in the box at McDonald's "for the sick kids." And the same reason I write "Santa" whenever I'm supposed to give a name on donation tags (any time of year!). These mythical fellows let us be anonymously generous.

Sorry - got a bit philosophical, there. The gist of what I'm saying, I guess, is that yes, you are the tooth fairy. But "love" is also the tooth fairy. "Generosity" is also the tooth fairy. And love and generosity are their own kind of magic. We didn't get told about Santa. We learned how to be Santa.

We never did the tooth fairy thing and the Santa thing just ran its course. No one asked there so we didn't tell them any different. Eventually the older kids told the smaller ones that there was no such thing as Santa but the little ones never asked us about it. They just didn't care who dropped off their gifts as long as they received the gifts.

I guess there really isn't an age but my response may have been, "Ask your father." I love having a husband around to take the heat.

Hi M.,

I'm an avid supporter of Santa and the Tooth Fairy! I mean, you're only young once! However, when my oldest was 9, he started asking important questions for life like, "What does "sh*t" mean?" or "Why is my friend nice one day and not the next?" It was time to age-appropriately teach him and equip him for the pre-teen world. In order to keep the flow of communication open and to be the parents he takes his questions to, we told him the truth about the Tooth Fairy and Santa. (I mourned the passing of that life stage, but I can't stop the march of time no matter how much I want to!) He has a 7 year old brother that still "believes" so he understands that he absolutely cannot tell his little brother OR ANYONE else!!! It is up to their parents to share that information, when the parents decide it is time.

So, for us, the decision to tell was based on age, readiness and keeping open and (age appropriate) honest communication lines open. So far, as he is 10 now, we are pretty sure that we are his source of information for those more adult issues, like curse words, social interactions, puberty and intro to sex stuff. Better we teach him those things than Johnny down the street. Telling him about the Tooth Fairy isn't the only way to start this process (!!) but it laid down important groundwork in our family.

Good luck to you!

My daughter never came right out and asked me, but when she started hinting around that other kids didn't believe anymore, I just told her, "Well, if you don't believe in Santa, I guess that means he doesn't have to leave you any presents!" She got a laugh out of it, and that let her have time to make up her own mind. She still "believes" {at age 12}, and she still gets presents from Santa. The arrangement works for all concerned.

I got a REAL laugh when I heard her tell someone her own spin on it about a year later - "If you don't believe in Santa, all he leaves you is socks and underwear in your stocking...it's the new coal!" Kids are hilarious!

I am just ROTFL right now at some the fantastic responses here. There does come a time when it seems like a burden to keep up the charade, especially when the teeth fall out when dad is traveling....and I'm out of cash/change b/c I doled it out for some school activity in the parking lot, etc....

I have kept my older kids believing because of the younger kids who really truly still believe. So all have to go along and not spoil it. I take them aside and have a heart to heart conversation when they ask, and explain how little sibling believe everything they say and think and do, so the older siblings have been very helpful in keeping the magic alive. And Santa rewards them greatly every year the littlest one still believes.

If he out and out asked you.. I would have told him the truth..

Our daughter was on 4th grade by the age of 9.. All the kids knew about the secrets of fairies and such by 3rd grade.. Many of them said they did not want to hurt their parents feelings so they played along longer..

nine is a great age. sounds like he is on to you anyway. in a year or so its going to be time for the birds and the bees talk. it would be good if you werent pretending with other stuff like fairys and majic.