Too Soon for Vow Renewal?

Updated on February 05, 2011
B.B. asks from Dallas, TX
14 answers

My 3 year anniverssary is this month, and me and my husband were talking about renewing our vows when we hit the 5 year mark. Now we didn't have a real wedding, we got married @ the courthouse, but we did have a decent reception, only with my side of the family, and a couple of my husbands side (his family lives out of state) so we wanted to have a "real" wedding and a big wedding. I haven't discussed this with any body else toget opinions, but sometimes I. Wonder if people will be like, they just got married?? And maybe we should wait? Any suggestions.

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So What Happened?

Thanks ladies for all the support, we will definatly do it, but not at a church, probably just rent a hall or somewhere, have a good time with drinks, and food. And dancing and fun. No gifts, but we will probably get some though, knowing our families. But we all like to have a good time, so I think we will do it.

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answers from Pittsburgh on

If you do it I would strongly suggest to people not to bring you gifts. Since you did have a reception (and I am assuming people brought you gifts) I think it would be kind of tacky to do it again only 5 years later.

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answers from Boston on

I'm not sure that I'd call it a "vow renewal" but I think it's fine if you want to get "weddinged!" After all, you're already married. You just waited 5 years to celebrate it with a wedding! has a lot of info on getting weddinged. Congrats.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

My husband and I have been planning to this for a while. We were going to do it at the 10 year mark but instead my daughter was giving us problems running away. So we waited till the 15. At the 15 year mark I was in the middle of year long battle with recurrent retinal detachment. So our 20 was the next plan only I was in a battle with breast cancer. So now we are planning the 25th lol. I say if your ready to renew them at the 5 year mark go for it as you never know what is going to be going on way down the road. Our 25th is next year. We do have plans underway. Hoping it goes well.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I think it's a sweet idea. If you'd had a "traditional" ceremony, I would think it was wierd, but it sounds like you feel like you missed out a bit on the "fun" and want to have a bit of a bash for your 5th anniversary. If hubby's on the same page, why not? Make it fun, informal (a potluck, maybe), inexpensive, no gifts - just a fun time.



answers from Eau Claire on

My husband and I got engaged and started planning our wedding for a yr and a half away because I wanted to graduate from school first. I ended up getting pregnant and wanted to be married when we had the baby so we had a small backyard wedding with only immediate family. We kept our wedding date for the big wedding we had been planning and called it a vow renewal only a year later. It's not to soon, since you never really had a wedding. We didn't register anywhere since we were married so ppl wouldn't assume we expected gifts but even if u say not to bring gifts ppl will.



answers from San Francisco on

My husband and I had a very small, family only ceremony and several of our friends have suggested a vow renewal ceremony for everyone to be at. It kind of sounds fun, but since we had a ceremony already it also seems a little weird to me. For you, I think the idea is perfect but I also wanted to share another idea we had (not to replace this idea, but maybe in addition to) - For our 5th anniversary we are going to get our pictures taken again in my wedding dress and his Marine Corps dress blues. I'd like to do it every 5 years, just for fun to see how much we have changed and to remember all we have been through. Good luck and congratulations on your anniversary.



answers from New York on

do anything you want. if you can afford it and you didn't have a proper wedding then i say go for it. we have talked about renewing cows too but after doing the math we have decided we should just celebrate on our own with our kids. our plan is on our 10 year anniversary which is in 2 years we will take our kids and our tired selves and celebrate.



answers from Spartanburg on

I also got married at the courthouse, largely pregnant with my first child, and on my one year anniversary had a religious ceremony and reception for family and friends. We termed it a vow renewal in the invite. I don't know if this was "right" etiquette wise but it worked out great for us. My husband's grandparents celebrated thier 50th wedding anniversary last year and part of the party was a traditional exchange of vows and cutting of the cake b/c they originally eloped. So I think it sounds like a great idea for your 5th anniversary!


answers from Kansas City on

Go for it!!!

My husband and I also got married in the courthouse, and we are going to renew our vows and have a "real wedding" sometime, we had hoped 5 years, but that is next year and money is tight right now.



answers from Cincinnati on

I am in the same boat as you! my hubby and i got married at the courthouse (but my reception wasnt that great i was going to have it at a local state park but my parents convinced me to have it at there house and just about everything went wrong) we didnt get a honeymoon either so at our 5 yr anniversery we plan on doing a vow renewal.



answers from Las Vegas on

Personally, I don't understand the vow renewal thing, although I have suggested it in similar situations.

In your case, I would just make that part of your announcement...although we happily married 3 years ago, we did so quietly and now, we would like to celebrate our union with our chosen friends and family.



answers from Las Vegas on

Life is so very short! Live it up and celebrate as much as possible! 5 years will be a milestone so why not go for it? Congrats on your 3 yrs and start planning so you have something wonderful to look forward to!


answers from Houston on

awww, I think it sounds sweet. First you can do whatever you want, and second you are now ready to do the whole "wedding" thing that you didn't do before, I like it! If I was your friend/family I would think it was great :D



answers from Huntsville on

First of all it will be YOUR wedding. My opinion is that anyone who thinks that way should not be there to begin with!!!! Do as you and your husband wish and to heck with what anybody thinks. Congrats on the 3 years

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