I know how you feel, with the weight issue. First, acknowledge that you're doing a great job, and it is a BIG job! I am by no means an expert, and I'm not always where I should be with eating. But one thing that has helped me is green smoothies. Sounds gross, and they look, well, green. But I promise, they taste pretty good. Not like a milkshake good, but good. My aunt, and then my sis, tried to get me to try them awhile back--it wasn't til I was at my sister's one day, and she made one and gave me some, that I tried it. You basically do a combo of green leafy veg and fruit (fruit makes it taste good) in the blender. If you do this, you'll be fuller, and don't have to worry about fitting in fruits & veg the rest of the day. There are of course other benefits--check out this site: www.greensmoothiequeen.com for more info. Even if you start out doing one a week, that's great! It also helps me if I plan dinners & snacks ahead. For meal planning, just decide what you're going to eat, category-wise. (like chicken night, fish night, pasta night, etc.) Next, think of four dishes for each of thoe categories (4 fish dinners, 4 chicken, etc). Plug these into a calendar for the month, and you've just planned your dinners for a whole month. I don't know if any of this will help you. Above all, try not to be so hard on yourself--I know, I know, you sometimes feel like you should be harder on yourself, and then you'd lose the weight, right? Wrong. Be kind to yourself--you've got a big job, or JOBS to do, and a lot of demands.
As far as time with your hubby, and exercise, try to go out just once a month together, alone. And can you ever go for walks together? That would be getting two birds with one stone. Good luck to you.