Toddler Won't Stay in Bed

Updated on October 21, 2013
S.R. asks from Springfield, NJ
9 answers

Hi Moms,
We moved my son into a "big-boy bed" a few months ago and for the first month he did great! (Staying in bed and playing with his animal friends). However, over the past month or so he has been out of bed, coming down the stairs, taking off his clothes, etc. We are also potty training him, so he claims he has to "poo-poo" and when we bring him down to sit on the potty, of course nothing happens. I have resorted to shutting his door, but he is still up there making all sorts of noise, sometimes until 10:00 at night, and I am just worried he is overtired the next day (he wakes up at 6). Does anyone have any tips for keeping him in bed? My son just turned 2 last week. Thanks!

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C.S.

answers from New York on

We just put my 16 month old in a big girl bed. She would get out of bed and play in her room. I would go in there each time and explain its nighttime and she has to go to bed and I loved her and blah blah blah.
I remembered seeing Super Nanny talk about keeping kids in bed. The first time you go in and put them back in bed and tell them you love them and give them the speech.
The remaining times, you go in, say nothing, plop them in bed and leave the room. Barely making an eye contact at all.
And, it seems to work perfectly. When I go in there and just place her back in bed without giving her attention, she stay put and goes to sleep.

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S.R.

answers from New York on

The obvious thing, and you will probably not like to hear this, is that you moved him out of his crib too soon. Most peds recommend keeping them in the crib until 3 or when they have learned to climb out. He's too young to realize that he is not supposed to get out of bed--although you tell probably tell him all the time---and is enjoying his new found freedom! Sometimes you don't have a choice, and you are not the only one in this position. My sister did the same thing, and her daughter wandered around the house at all hours of the night, thank goodness that they did not have stairs to deal with. If you have stairs, I would suggest a baby gate to keep hime from going downstairs by himself, especially in the middle of the night while you are sleeping. Closing the door and taking away things that would otherwise give him a reason to stay up is also a good strategy, as well as limiting his daytime naps so he is actually sleepy at night will also help. The poop ploy is to get downstairs and get more attention. My son used to do that all the time too. We solved that by making sitting on the potty part of his bedtime routine. When he gets a little older, it will be easier to explain why he should stay in his bed all night-and maybe even give him small rewards for doing so (dollar store toys or stars on a calender.)

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M.S.

answers from New York on

I think my son lives in your home. We have the same situation and he used to pick fuzzies off the carpet and bring them down to us as a stalling tactic. Be happy that he likes his big boy bed and some of the best imaginative play occurs at that time but sleep is important . Try moving the routine up earlier so he can have some alone time play and keep bed time toys to a minimum. We put a gate at the top of stairs so he doesnt come down and he likes his door open so we can hear if it is getting late and he is still playing and tell him to go to bed and tuck him in...he was using the potty to to get more time with us. aloow a reasonable amount of alone bedtime play and then get more strict with the lights out. He is only tow so if he sleeps a bit later or takes his naps still it isnt as bad as going to pre school next day and being cranky as long as he is getting his allotted amount of sleep in the 24 hrs. It is probably the first of many things to come..monsters under bed, etc. Our guy used to read his books to himself of course he cant read but it was fun to hear him recite the stories on the monitor. Let him play a bit then enforce and remove any easily removable distractions and move up the bedtime routine so he thinks he can play and keep a limit on the time you allow then enforce in bed lights out and that his toys need to sleep too especially the animals.

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T.S.

answers from New York on

Hi S., I agree it is hard work having 2 (I have 2 girls - oh the drama!) And I am a few weeks away from my 3rd. I must be insane! Anyway, Being that we need the crib soon for the new baby I had to get my 2 yr old daughter to share a room with my 4 yr old daughter. I have 2 twin beds in the room, but my 2 yr old likes to wander too. So I put a babygate in her doorway so that I can hear her, but she cannot wander throughout the night ect. This has worked well with the wandering. As for the getting out of bed, As long as he naps during the day I don't think there is any harm in him playing in his room til he falls asleep. This is all new to him still and the facination will wear off. He is not used to this freedom. Also with the potty training, we had put one of those freestanding potty seats in my daughters room and in the midle of the night if she said she had to go, we could sit right there in her room. this worked great! (as long as you sanitize it often). My problem is that my 2 yr old likes to keep my 4 yr old awake! And she also snores something awful, so my 4 yr old is always complaining about it keeping her up. Good luck - T. ;)

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C.R.

answers from Syracuse on

Don't worry about it, he'll get it after the novelty has worn off....keep shutting the door and make sure that he understands that once he's in bed, he's IN BED...no more water...or potty....put a pull-up on him and call it a night...if you stick with it, he will too...trust me, I've done this with 4 little boys and I'm doing it now with my youngest...17 months...he'll get it...stay strong and good luck!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

Hi S.,
We also just put our 3 year old son in a big boy bed and were having the same problem. I also have a 7 year old daughter and she did the exact same things. Now we discovered he is afraid of the dark and does not want to be alone. So of course we went out and bought all kinds of night light and a gate for the hallway to prevent him from getting to the stairs. He can get to the bathroom if he needs to, visit his sister if lonely(sometimes we find him asleep with her)but can not fall down the stairs on his nightly walks. Also Santa brought him the Winnie the Pooh movie projector. Love it! When the story is done he knows how to turn it back on for one more time and then off to sleep. He has gone to sleep now on his own for a few weeks now. We have rewarded him by getting 3 books read instead of 1. He is sleeping soundly, I hear him get up to go to the bathroom and there are fewer night time walks for him.
Good luck, hope this helps. Just know you are not alone!
K. P.

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S.M.

answers from New York on

S. I feel your pain, my son was two in November, that's
when he got his twin bed. Same thing he was geat at first ....and then they realize that they CAN get out of bed...it's not their crib. So now we are fed up with it same thing 2 hours every night to get to sleep. I spoke to a friend (who has 6 children)and put a plan into place. My husband and I are taking turns standng gaurd at his door, as soon as he starts to get out of bed, we go right in and lay him back down. The first night it took about 1 1/2 hours, last night 45 minutes, i'm confident within a week the whole thing will be behind us. Feel free to write me and ask. I've seen simular method on Nanny 911 or super nanny, Whichever.

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A.J.

answers from Albany on

I like the supernanny suggestion that was made. That method does work. In addition what i have done was several things depending on the situation. If feasible, I have started the bedtime routine earlier. My kids' normal bedtime is 7. So if they were staying up late playing I would make their bedtime at 6. This really only works best in the dark winter months though.

Also we have physically sat outside their rooms because they would try and sneak out to play in their siblings room. Usually my hubby would sit in th hall with his laptop doing his work and periodically warning them to go to sleep. This worked better around 2 1/2 years old.

We just moved our 23 month old son to a big boy bed. So far so good. Once or twice I have returned him to his bed with a firm voice and body language that said "don't even think about it Mister!" We do let him play with his computer toy and trucks and books by the light of a little night light. Then when it is absolutrely time to sleep I go in and turn the night light down or off - whichever his mood will allow. Then I tuck, kiss say I love you, Sweet dreams & God bless - all of which he repeats (again when his mood allows) so that we both know this is it!

It is physical work in the beginning, but it won't last forever. Soon enough the newness will wear off and exhaustion will creep in and he'll go to sleep without much difficulty - that is if you do not let him make the rules. Be firm. Be consistant.

A.

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K.H.

answers from Tampa on

My son had problems staying in bed and going to sleep when my husband went out of town. We found a story called Bedtime Spaceship helped and he's asked for it almost every night for the last 3 months and it's still working! http://www.amazon.com/Star-Flights-Bedtime-Spaceship-Drif...

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