Toddler Sleep Issues - Oklahoma City,OK

I am not a big supporter of CIO, simply because it doesn't work for all children. My daughter would cry until she threw up....night after night after night. Yes, I did the gradual method...she still wasn't having anything to do with it. I tried it at sixmonths and one year...even took time off work to deal with how I was feeling after a sleepless night.

My daughter is very sensitive to schedule changes. Vacation is mostly a nightmare because her sleep schedule gets completely whacked out. She won't go to sleep, she won't stay asleep, and she gets a run of night terrors. The only upside is that I have a chance to take a nap the next day.

He IS capable of manipulating his environment at this age BUT I think you have to address the root of the problem. Something must be waking him up. Is it his two year old molars? Something changed in his activity level?

You didn't say how your husband had been back, but it could just be an adjustment period. I changed my daughter's daycare right around her second birthday and it took very nearly TWO weeks for things to resemble some level of normalcy.

Try to continue keeping a constant schedule. Have your husband give him a lot of extra snuggle and play time during the day. 7 months is a long time for a kid that age. He "knows" who daddy is, but that doesn't mean he has the same relationship as with mommy.

Dear J., I am not an expert, but I don't think your son is "playing you" at such a young age. I think this is adult thinking being misplaced on a child.

The coming and going of his daddy has probably been traumatic and exciting for him at the same time, maybe even impacting some of his feelings of security. He wants his daddy around all the time, but he goes away...Yet it is fun to be with mommy alone...His world has been turned upside down I think. And He is too young to express all this, and thus his sleep patterns have maybe been impacted.

Please be gentle with him. I am not a fan of CIO unless at a last resort, and only in the comfort of your arms (www.askdrsears.com). For gentle solutions, please try Elizabeth Pantleys "No cry sleep solution for toddlers" She has a facebook page as well where you can write to her....She is lovely and has helped me in the past.

Best of Luck. Jilly

Your son has had a lot of change in his life; dad was gone for 1/3 of your son's life, then he comes home. No wonder he doesn't want his dad. He is used to only having you around. It will take time for him to adjust back to his dad. I think the parents who let their kids just scream it out are lazy. Children thrive on their parent's love and attention. If it takes you literally one minute to rock him to sleep, just do it! He needs to be comforted, and by you rocking him, he knows mommy is there and isn't going to leave like daddy did. It will take time, but he will learn to go to sleep on his own. I know it's frustrating, but please don't let the baby scream "until he's almost hyperventilating" and "close to getting sick because he's crying so hard." Children need their parents time and devotion. It will get easier. Good luck.

Hi J.,

Just saw this post today, but felt like sharing my experience! First of all, like the last post, THANK YOU and your whole family for the sacrifices y'all have made so that my family will always know and live in freedom! Now on to the sleep issues, I have 3 kids. An 8 year old girl, a 5 year old boy and my sweet little baby girl who is 7 months. Each one of them is so different when it comes to sleep. My first was a great sleeper from the start, however, she went through a "phase" where she needed her momma to rock her at all hours of the night when she was about 2. My husband works long hours so sometimes he'd be gone when she woke and she'd be in bed before he came home...basically that meant I was the one who did most of the comforting, etc...Then all of a sudden at like 2 1/2 she was all about her daddy and I was the one left out of the snuggling and rocking. My 5 year old boy was (still is) a major momma's boy, and at 9 months and still nursing 2-3 times a night I was a zombie most days plus he never did take good naps. I did try letting him cry it out and it worked for him...2 nights was all it took. He'll sleep in till noon now if I'd let him. Basically it comes down to doing what works for you and your family. Rock that sweet baby boy for in the near future you'll be sending him off to kindergarten and long for those special times when it was just you and him and a rocking chair. I fondly remember when my oldest would come down at 3 or 4 in the morning, she'd crawl in between my husband and me and I'd turn the TV on Sprout with the volume low and snuggle up to her...both of us would be back to sleep in no time. Anyway, good luck and this too shall pass...such a cliche but so true!

Maybe your son is still adjusting to having Daddy back after the long separation (thank you to you and your husband for his service!). Maybe both your husband and you could do your son's "nightime ritual" together for a couple of weeks, so that way he can get used to Daddy being part of the primary picture again. You can do less and less and your husband do more and more of the ritual as the nights progress so after a couple of weeks, you can just not participate at all and it wont be much of a change to your son. A toddler's world is so small. Switching something as seemingly small (to adults) as a nightime ritual is a HUGE difference to them. Small, gradual changes might help out. Good luck!

I don't have a lot of advice, but I'm going thru the same thing! My son is 23 months old, and he's all about his mama right now. He cries if his daddy tries to put him down at night. And mine is also waking up at crazy hours too! Anyway, I completely agree with one of the answers below, if rocking him only takes a minute or 2, I'd stick with that. Why upset him even more by making him cry when he clearly just needs a little comforting? That's how I respond to my son, too - we rock and within 10 minutes or less he's back to sleep. I don't believe he's playing you either. I think he has some kind of need and the only way he can express it is by needed a little cuddle time with you, even if it's in the middle of the night.

One thing we've done to try to help the attachment with my husband is for my husband to take over some small things, like changing more diapers or fixing lunch, and he does my son's bath every night. (Which is also great downtime for me!) We're trying to work up to daddy being able to do the bedtime routine, but it's slow-going. Sometimes the only way we get any sleep is to let our son sleep in bed with us. He just snuggles up to me and conks out. Probably not the best habit to start, but I'm pregnant with #2 and I need to sleep! =)

Sorry for the lack of advice, I just wanted you to know you are not alone! Good luck with everything!

C.