Toddler Sleep Issues

What time does he go to bed? I wish my little boy would sleep until 9:00, but he's up around 6:30 and they take a 2hr nap at school around 12:00. He goes to bed around 8:30 and comes in and out a few times a night since he's been in a big boy bed. I have found that if he's just wore out and hasn't taken a nap, he sleeps longer.

If you are where I was a few months ago with mine, you have a long path to go, but throw everything you've got at this and you can do it!

I think it's best to use a pushing and pulling kind of method, in other words, really make him WANT to be in his bed, and also really MAKE him stay there. So, go buy new sheets (with Thomas the tank engine or something equally wonderful), and pretend for all the world that you really want those sheets. Put them on his bed, but keep lying down in them, getting all cozy. Tell him that these are the coziest sheets in the house, and pretend not to want to let him sleep in his bed. YOU want them. Even daddy can help out with this act, and pretend he wants them too. When your son is ready to climb into bed and try them out himself, be SO reluctant to get up out of them. You get the picture. :) Add this to the bedtime routine, where you pretend you want to be in his cozy, cozy sheets every night.

Then add a no-tolerance policy for getting out of bed (except for potty), with closing the door tight for longer and longer with each infraction. Plus starting bedtime when it is DARK and QUIET, when he's physically exhausted, and you've got yourself a bedtime!

More about dark -- don't try to start bedtime before sunset if you have bedtime issues. Later, after he's figured out how to put himself to sleep, you can move bedtime back. More about quiet -- put off doing dishes, chatting until after he is asleep. If you have stuff you have to get done, do it first, then start bedtime (again, this rule can be loosened later, after bedtime issues are resolved). More about physically exhausted -- make your son run off those dinner calories! Chase him all around the house after dinner, watch him do tricks, cleaning up games etc. for about 20 minutes, or until he can't be convinced to run anymore. Should do the trick.

Have you tried waking him a little earlier in the morning (maybe 7:30) so that he is more ready for a nap at 1? then maybe he will be more ready for an 8pm bed time.

Hi

This is hard , his routine sounds good and you are right to not let him nap around 5/6pm , have you tried getting him up earlier in the morning? I know that if he has been awake until the early hours then it is tempting to let him sleep in to make up the sleep that he has missed but you may need to do that to get him into a better sleep pattern at night. A suggestion would be to wake him around 7/7.30am , give him breakfast around 8/8.15 and then play time , at 2 1/2 he probably isn't ready for a nap at lunch time especially if he doesn't get up until 9am , just see how he goes with getting him up earlier and you may find around 2/2.30 that he needs a little nap , I would try waking him after 40 mins , just enough to refresh him and then by 7/7.30pm he should be ready for bed again. If he still makes a fuss at bedtime then maybe change a few little things , for example he may like a night light rather than being in the dark , leaving his door slightly open rather than closed all the way , sit on his bed and read a story rather than reading in the living room. You may be doing all these things anyway but I am just trying to make some suggestions , the main thing is you stick to the same routine night after night , he has to learn that he has to go to bed at a decent hour and go to sleep by himself.

Good luck

K.

I'm not sure if this could be your issue or not, but my son has hardly ever slept until 9am. Since me and my husband both work we have to get up and get him to the sitter before 8am, so he is usually up between 7-7:30. If he does sleep later than this on the weekends, we still try to keep the rest of his routine throughout the day. He does take a nap but every now and then he acts like he doesn't want one. He will take anywhere from a 2-3 hour nap usually between the hours of 1pm-3 or 4pm at the most. He goes to bed around 9pm but sometimes does not want to go to sleep right away. He is in a toddler bed so he gets up and stands at the gate as his door but we just tell him to go to sleep and sometimes check on him but most of the time after a bit he will go to bed. As for our bedtime routine we all brush our teeth together and turn off almost all the lights and read him a couple books at night, I usually read one and his father reads the other. He has a stack that he gets to pick 2 from each night. Then we tuck him in and tell him goodnight and usually we are not far behind him. There have been a few times he hasn't wanted to nap but we just left him in his room for 1-2 hours and kept telling him to take a nap. If he didn't he usually was pretty grumpy in the evening but if he fell asleep around 5pm we would wake him up within an hour for dinner. He may have been tired and angry but usually the mood only lasted so long and we found if we let him sleep it was usually around 10-11pm that he would wake up and wouldn't want to go back to sleep and plus we didn't want him to miss dinner. We don't have the sibling situation yet so he is not able to try to get up and play with anyone else so I'm not sure what to tell you there. I hope you are able to work things out!

Believei it or not you can give kids tea and they will like it. In the tea setion at your grocery store there is a tea named "Sleepytime", if you add some milk and give it to them after dinner, or about an hour before bedtime, it may help. I remember when my kids went through that phase, what I did for a while was make sure that the outlet were seurely covered, put a hook and eye latch high up on the door. I grabbed a pillow and a blanket for myself and one for whatever child I was with. They played in a secure, locked room and I slept on the floor. Thankfully, it did not last very long and the system was reset to normal sleeping hours, minus any naps. The normal routine was up by 7am, to the dayare-when I worked outside the house, nap from 1-3 and no longer, dinner done by 6pm, bedtimeby 8pm. At about 2.5 each of them deided that they no longer needed a nap and thats when all of this fun started. School starts here on 24 August, I started getting everyone on school time on August 1, my 6 yo was having problems with the fact that the sun was still up. Be persistent in whatever you do, don't change or give in. Have fun, happy adjustment.

Have you tried chamomile tea or "Sleepytime" by Celestial Seasonings before bed?

Sorry I can't help, I'm in a similar boat with my youngest too, so I look forward to reading the responses you get. Just know that you are not alone.

I agree with the other two suggestions of waking him up at no later than 7:30 and making getting up earlier a part of his routine. He will fight it at first and he may want to nap and nap longer and then stay up later at night again. I suggest that if he decides to nap after getting him up at 7:30, make him wait till the afternoon then only let him nap for 2 hours tops. Something that always helped my kids sleep at night was going outside for half an hour to an hour mid to late morning or early afternoon. Something about the sunshine in the middle of the day helps them later at night when it's dark and time for bed. I always make sure my children go outside BEFORE naptime. Sometimes, if they weren't outside very long before naptime, I take them out again after naptime, but before supper. If all that fails (give it a couple of weeks before you give up!), then you could try putting a tablespoon of coffee in his milk. I always did it in the morning with my daughter and she slept better at night, but with some kids it takes effect quicker and the parents give it to them in their milk at suppertime. Coffee has the opposite effect on toddlers than on adults - it puts them to sleep - and a tablespoon a day is safe for your toddler. Hope some of the advice here helps! I know when you're exhausted it's hard to think to straight, but hang in there and don't give up! By the way, I also like the suggestion of turning off all the lights in the house except maybe one low light and making sure everyone is quiet. If your 9 year old is allowed to stay up later make sure he knows that it's quiet time in the house after 7:00. Oh, and watching tv never helped my toddlers sleep. I tried it a few times with my daughter and she would go to sleep, but then she was up in an hour and as wild as ever. OR, she was wilder and less cooperative the next day... Stick with your routine and a few bags of tricks and hopefully you will be sleeping soundly in a few weeks!
I'm sorry - I just read you work full time too! Is his daycare taking him outside during the day? How much tv is he watching at daycare? Stimulation of the wrong kind (tv where he's not being asked to learn and interact) can very definitely affect how they sleep at night. Make sure he has plenty of times during the day at his daycare to interact and play, run and do physical activity, etc.

I feel your pain. I have 2 girls, 4 yrs old and 2 1/2. My 2 1/2 yr old has never really slept. She always wants her mommy and gets VERY upset when she does not get her way. I try to be patient but after several nights of interrupted or no sleep it becomes very hard. All I can say is try to have some patience. She had reflux as a baby and multiple ear infections (now with tubes) but still the same story. Nap or no nap it is the same thing. Now she is potty trained at night which just makes it that much harder. I just try to focus on the positive and keep the same routine. We have started to take things away for the "rough" nights, live no t.v the next evening or no snacks/stickers whatever. It is starting to work a little as she gets older. Good luck and let me know if you find something that really works.

He sounds over tired, my son gets more active the more tired he gets. You don't say what time he goes to bed, but I would aim for 7P. Take out all the toys from his room and anything that he would spend time with. Explain that it is night time (or rest time) and we need to sleep now. We had to lock our son in for a few nights. Put a night light in there and turn the lights down low. Expect tears but eventually he will get it. Put him down for a nap around 1, any later than 130 and you will face a late nap that will throw him off, wake him up by 330. Two year olds usually want to be with everyone else and think that they are missing something if just they are going to bed. You could explain that everyone else is also heading to bed soon. Good luck.

My daughter, now 3 1/2, does not nap at home and has been like that since she was an infant. I don't think she wants to miss out the going-ons at home. She will nap at daycare though. She will go to bed late so we just let her stay awake all day and at bedtime she's willing to settle down for a book, play with her dollhouse, listen to some music and fall asleep in her toddler bed. We like this because she'll tinker around independently IN HER ROOM, be so relaxed and sleep happily.

We know she could use a nap but we gave up. If we go out to eat she would fall asleep in her car seat (a sign she's not getting enough sleep). Because of that she'll be wide awake and we usually respond by turning ourselves to bed earlier than usual and she'd go along with it.

When my daughter who's 2 gets this way, we let her stay up with us watching a movie or tv. She'll usually get tired and fall asleep on the couch.

M.