Toddler Not Napping. Is This Within the Range of Normal?

Updated on January 19, 2008
C.R. asks from Seattle, WA
24 answers

Hi,

For the past 3 weeks my 30 month old boy has only taken 2 or 3 naps. He doesn't seem to need it. He's happy all day, goes to bed great, sleep around 12 hours at night and is ready to be up again all day. I've tried putting him down and it is just 2 hours of struggle with him informing me over and over tha he isn't sleepy. When he does nap, he sleeps too long, wakes up grumpy, and doesn't want to go to bed because he's gotten 2 to 3 hours of afternoon sleep.

It takes a lot less energy for me to just let him stay up but I'm a bit worried that he's young to stop napping. Plus the days are short now. Is he only sleeping longer at night because the nights are so long and dark?

thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the great replies. Just reading what you all have had to say confirms to me that he's done napping and he's just fine. Now I just have to be good about still reading to him in the middle of the day and giving him some time to look at books on his own. He loves them but the nap routine definitely gave him the space to slow down and really enjoy books. It is also honestly a relief not to need to spend 2 hours attempting to get him to sleep only to have to wake him up so that he won't be up to late. Plus I can have the energy to put more focus on my 11 month olds sleep habits...and she seems to be indicating she's going to shift to one nap sooner than later.

Thanks so much!

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L.D.

answers from Portland on

My now 10 year old boy stopped napping when he was 2 1/2. He maybe took one nap every two months after that. He was fine. I think some kids just are wired differently. My 4 year old still naps occasionally. When he is tired he will go lay down on his own. So in a nutshell, I wouldn't worry about it.

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C.K.

answers from Seattle on

My son stopped napping just after his 3rd birthday. We had the same issues with naps. I was worried also, but it seems to work out just fine. He is a bit grumpy by the end of the day but who isn't (LOL). Hope you feel better about it, but if you decide to try and make him take a nap try using an alarm clock. This was suggested to me to try letting him wake up on his own. I didn't use it but maybe you will. Good luck.

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

Hi: I have heard of this happening before! My niece seems to do this while my daughter definately needs an afternoon nap. I think all kids are different! Just like us as adults I can function on less sleep than my husband! I for one seem to need my daughter to take the nap! so I am probably lucky she does most days! I always like to pick my battles so to speak so I would quit fighting it and see what happens for a while! You can always go back to nap time if it seems necessary. and on a side note...even though most people say not to wake a sleeping child.....I don't let my daughter sleep past 4 in the afternoon. Even if she is only down for 1 or 2 hours....It seems to help her get through the day and the night ends at a reasonable time. you might consider just having an hour of quiet time in a quiet comfy place. Stories on tape work well and sometimes just playing quietly in the room is still a little break for both of you. It is always a struggle to try to do the best thing for your child! Just go with your gut the most..and your child will let you know what they need in the end! Good Luck

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D.M.

answers from Medford on

Hi C.,

I have a 3 &3/4 yr old who has not taken regular naps since he was about 2&1/2.... he just sort of grew out of them. I tried to force it at first and had the same experiences you describe. it was just wasnt working!
Whether or not that is what is "recommended" by proffessionals, I am not sure...but it has worked fine for us, in fact..it makes bedtime easier, because he is almost always very cooperative about going to bed. In fact, if my memory serves me correctly, All 3 of my boys have followed that pattern of no longer napping during the day once they passed age 2. My experience has been that if my son is extra tired, he will lay down and take a nap on his own.
Don't get me wrong, there have been days where I see by his behavior that he is extra tired and really needs to nap, and I have had to lay down with him to get him to do so, but that is really rare. I think it is ok to let them follow their own natural tendencies at this age as long as they are given a quiet time during the day that would encourage a nap if needed. for example, mid afternoon my son likes to lay down and watch blues clues, like I said he usually doesnt nap, but I find that he WILL fall asleep at this time on those days when he is extra tired.
I think every child is different and that there is nothing abnormal going on. If your son were not napping and showing signs of being overly tired that might be different, but since he is happy and doing fine with no nap, I dont think you have anything to worry about! Good luck to you, I hope that helps somewhat.~D.

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J.G.

answers from Anchorage on

what is normal??? each kid is different. I had at least two that quit taking naps at a younger age than I would have hoped for. but oh well.. that is just the way they are made.

if he is old enough to tell you he is not sleepy, then he is old enough to understand some simple instruction. And this is what I did with my no-nappers: I told them they must have some quiet time. They did not have to sleep... but they must play quietly, look at books or another quiet activity in their room for a set period of time. if you want a break to get some quiet time yourself.. then maybe save that period of time for him to watch something on TV.. if he will sit through a show. Invest in some good videos he likes. Another idea is to see if there is a neighborhood pre-teen (11 or 12 years old) that would be willing to take him out to a nearby park or on a walk...or play with him in the yard. This age group loves kids that age and would probably do it for free... it will give them some experience for future babysitting jobs.. they can take a red cross babysitting course at 11 so they might already have experience in dealing with kids. My 12 year old does some paid babysitting but loves kids so she does some to help people out if she knows they could use the help.

another thing to maybe put things in perspective..at least he sleeps through the night for the period of time that he does. I had one that quit taking naps before she was even 2.. and she still got up a couple times a night.

oh yeah... and maybe see about putting him in a preschool. It would give you a bit of a break and help him "spend" more of his energy a few days a week. Look into your local Head Start program and see if you would qualify to send him there (it is typically income based). You could also have him evaluated through the early learning intervention program at your local school district, if they qualify him for services (he would then have an IEP) - then he may still go to Head Start for free even if you don't qualify based on income. It is a terrific program for kids, my 4 year old goes there - it is worth it if you can pay for it. I wish I would have gotten some of my kids in it when they were that age.. at least the "no-nappers" would have benefitted from it greatly. I was told here.. that the public schools know which kids come from the Head Start program when they enter kindergarten because the program is so good for these kids. I am very anxious to see how my son does when he enters kindergarten this fall.

best wishes!!

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J.L.

answers from Seattle on

My son stopped napping at 21 months. We tried for weeks and weeks to get him to nap, and finally decided it was simpler to let me be up with quiet time (books, video, etc.) and just put him to bed at 7 or 7:30. Sometimes the battles just aren't worth it!

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D.M.

answers from Portland on

What is normal? My daughter by the age of 1 1/2 was done napping. She would wake up at 7-8am be happy all day and I would litteraly have to turn out all the lights and keep all noise down for a over an hour just to get her to bed before 10pm. She is now almost 5 and has not taken a nap in 3 1/2 years. It does not effect her at all. We now have a great program to help her sleap. We have Dr. Seuss on CD and she listens to that every night. She goes out like a light in 10 min. I suggest repetative noise or white noise if you want to keep him napping.

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A.S.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter stopped napping at around 2 years old. She gets a full nights sleep, but will not nap. Like your child, when she does fall asleep for a nap, she sleeps too long, and is grumpy after. I spoke with her doctor about this, and they said it was fine as long as she was getting her full amount of sleep at night. So thats what we do! She is a very active 3 year old, who just doesn't do well with naps. I do have her take a quiet time for about a half an hour every day, just for a little down time. She doesn't sleep during that time, but might look at books, or watch a favorite show in my bed quietly, just as a little break. You might try that!

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A.C.

answers from Eugene on

I really think it all depends on the child. It seems like its more a fight than its worth to make him take a nap. Some kids stop needing them earlier than others. If he does better with out it dont worry about it. Let it be.

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D.N.

answers from Seattle on

i would be thankful he has napped at all for this long...my two girls stopped napping all together at 18 months...my son was about 2 1/2...so congrats for making it that long....but you know what...every child is different and every parent is different...what is normal with your sweetie is going to be totally different for someone else...remember that when you get responses..i dont think there is a right or wrong answer...let your sons actions set the tone for what you think he needs...some days he might need a little nap...other days...he might just sail on through the day with out one...i wouldnt worry about it...just have fun with it!!!

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K.P.

answers from Portland on

by that age my kids were rarely napping - in fact they only if it was a very exhausting, active, busy morning - this has been the case for all 4 of my kids. :)

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C.W.

answers from Seattle on

My son is the exact same age...he is hit-and-miss for naptime but either way he is expected to have a 2 hour "quiet time" more for my sake than his (although it is good for a child to be able to quietly amuse themselves).

I put our pressure mount baby gate in his doorway (he's figured out the safety knob things) and he plays quietly with his cars or listens to music and looks at his books. I get to sit quietly and enjoy a midday cup of tea and relax.

I highly recommend "quiet time" as I have three kids (6, 2 1/2, and 7mos.) and it is a lifesaver!!!

Ps...there is no such thing as "normal" when raising kids!

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N.S.

answers from Portland on

That's totally normal. My first daughter stopped napping around 2 yrs old. If she had an especially tiring day, she would nap for an hour or so, and still does (at almost 5 yrs old) but it is rare.

My second daughter is 20 months old and she's down to napping only once or twice a week. If I let her nap for more than about 30 minutes, she has a very hard time going to bed at night. Like she'll stay up until 11:30-12:00 instead of 8:00. No fun for mama!

If your son wasn't sleeping well at night, then I might still try for a nap here and there, but it sounds like you should trust his sleep cycle. :)

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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi C.,

My toddler is 2 and is quickly getting to that phase. LOL Oh how I yearn for more time some days, but am blessed that she is a great helper and independent to play on her for a few minutes at a time. :) I would say it is normal, each child is different. As for sleeping longer, sometimes children do that when they are experiencing growing. The grouchy or "cranky magoo" stage as we like to call it, tends to be from the "growing pains." hang in there, it will pass. :) Blessings to you and yours. :)

K.S.

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

My son stopped napping when he was about 2.5 years old. This is normal, some kids just don't need as much sleep.

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I.D.

answers from Seattle on

There is probably too much excitement going on. He does not want to miss a thing. Have him lay down and tell him he does not have to go to sleep but, all he has to do REST. Of course that means no toys and no TV. Quiet time. Good luck from Nana I., let me know how things work out?

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C.B.

answers from Portland on

I have 2 children, and noticed that each had their own needs. My oldest which is now 16 needed naps a lot, where as my youngest (8), stopped taking naps at age 2. We then just started quiet time where she just played quietly on her bed for an hour. This gave her a bit of time to rest without sleeping and me time to do things without her under foot all the time.

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L.L.

answers from Seattle on

My son never napped. What you describe is very close to my experience. You will get varying degrees of what you should and shouldn't do, but its my opinion to just leave him be. If he is happy, and healthy, and receiving 12 hours a sleep at night, I don't think there is anything wrong with that. If you read the "average" type charts, a child of 30 months should be receiving 11-12 hours of sleep and a 2 hour nap. If you read more into it, most sources of information will say that it is okay if they don't nap. Most importantly, don't get caught up in the averages. If you are close to what the medical community recommends, then you are probably okay. I think you will be more doing more damage forcing him to sleep then to just accept that he doesn't require the cat nap. Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

I would think he's probably done napping. Hey if he's happy, you're happy and that's the best! Maybe you could have a "quiet time" in his room if you need a nap or some quiet time yourself. That would at least get him to slow down for an hour or so. Good luck!

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E.F.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter stopped napping at 18mos. One day, she decided not to take naps, although occasionally she does fall asleep in "room time" (designated time midday everyday which can vary from 1-3 hours). Even though she doesn't nap, we have continued room time (she is now 4 1/2). This gives her a chance to take a nap if she is tired or just have some down time. At nights, she only sleeps about 10 hours, but I don't have any problems with her behavior during the day (besides the normal 4 year old) and she is doing well in preschool so I don't worry about it. The pediatricians don't seem concerned either...whenever I raise the question about whether naps should be reinforced, they say if there aren't behavioral or attention issues, it's better to let it go and avoid the struggle.
Recently, my 28 month old reduced his naps to about every other day. I will continue to attempt to have him take his naps, though, because I see a difference in his behavior on days he skips the nap.

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C.E.

answers from Seattle on

My 3 1/2 year old son stopped taking naps last summer and like you and a host of other mom's I tried to force the issue as well. I loved nap time because it was MY quiet time to have lunch or read a little. Unfortunatly my son didn't feel the same way. So after a few weeks of struggling with him we came up with 'quiet time'. He doesn't need to take a nap, he just needs to play quietly in his room for an hour or so and wind down. Sometimes he does take a little nap on his own but for the most part he plays with his toys. If he does happen to fall asleep late in the day (or more often than not at the dinner table...lol) we let him sleep for about 20 minutes then wake him up so he doesn't stay awake all night. We've started doing this at night too with both kids (I also have a 6 year old daughter) about an hour before bedtime. It calms them enough where they aren't totally wound up when they go to bed. The system has worked well for us :) I don't think it's abnormal at all that your son seems to have grown out of nap time. I think it's just a fact of life.

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J.M.

answers from Seattle on

Wow. How lucky are YOU that your son napped for as long as he did! My oldest was completely done with daytime naps before he turned two! If he's grumpy in the afternoon, just have a "quiet time" policy. I did this with my son while he was two - and quiet time was just enough to recharge his batteries. We were able to eliminate quiet time several months before his third birthday because he was getting all the sleep he needed at night. Sounds like your little guy is done with naps! No need to fight with him about it!

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J.M.

answers from Portland on

my son started not napping just after his 3rd birthday. I believe he still needed them because he got really tired (meaning wired and naughty) about 2 hrs before bedtime, but nothing I could do would make him sleep. We started doing quite time where he has to stay in his room and play quite or watch a video for an hour while sister is napping and that gave both of us a nice break. It sounds like thats the end of naps for you, except for the occational one here and there. Dont sweat it, it sounds normal. My mom said after her first (she has 8) no one took naps after 24m!
If when the days get longer and he starts sleeping less and showing he needs it you can block the light from his room with heavy dark curtains or cardboard that just pops in the window at night. Good luck, Jen

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J.H.

answers from Corvallis on

Hi C.,
I have 5 children and three of them quit napping before they were two. They were happy and had energy, so I let the naps go. The other two tried to quit napping at age two (they're twins), but would be grumpy all evening. I made them keep napping until they decided to give them up again just before their third birthday. At that time, they were happy and content to go without a nap.
I say, let your child be your guide. I don't think there is any reason to force a nap on your child unless they are grumpy and tired without one.
Too bad we don't appreciate napping when we are young!!

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