Toddler Mastrubation

Updated on October 19, 2009
S.S. asks from Chattanooga, TN
15 answers

My granddaughter is 2 1/2 and has been humping for 6 months. We have tried to ignore it and get her interested in another activity which works sometimes, but other times it is like a driven obsession. I have tried to explain to her that she can do that in her bed because it is a private thing. Not wanting to make her think it is bad, but just not appropriate in public. She will even hump standing up, or in her booster seat at the table. Somedays are worse than others. I have noticed when she gets tired it is worse. She is well adjusted and happy, does miss her Mom. Any suggestion would be appreciated. Her Ped. said not to worry about it just do what I have been doing... but it isn't helping..

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So What Happened?

I can not thank you all enough for the responses of advice and encouragement for me. I don't have friends with small children and really appreciate this website for help. This was my first time to ask for advice and will be back for sure in the future. Thank you and God bless each of you. I did take her to the Dr. today and there were no signs of any kind of infection. I changed the brand of diapers/pullups just incase that was it and will continue to love and nuture her. She is the love of our lives and we want to do what we can to give her the emotional support she will need now and in the coming years. Thanks again. S.

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T.A.

answers from Greensboro on

Hi S. S,

This is nothing to worry about. If you pat her to sleep when you are trying to get her to rest, this is the motion and that's just comfortable to her. When you see that she is getting tired or you are trying to get her to rest try a different routine. Lay her on her back and rub her chest or her back gently.

Child advocate

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G.I.

answers from Huntington on

Hi S., Are you sure she is doing that to masturbate? My first thoughts are that she seems really young. Maybe she has a yeast infection and she is itching??
Maybe she i allergic to the detergents that you are using. These are the tings that came to mind. Sometimes an allergic reaction can just cause an itch without any visible signs. Best of luck....God Bless!
G.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.H.

answers from Raleigh on

My daughter had the same issue, and yes, she did eventually outgrow it, but when she was younger it absolutely drove me nuts! Our pediatrician said it was normal and that some kids would do that. The best things to do were to redirect, and as she got older we made her go to her room because it was private. The doctor also recommended no bubble baths at all and instead put vinegar (about a cup) into the bath water. I also changed my laundry detergent to All free and clear and stopped using any fabric softener. I realized a lot of times she would start because it itched, and then continue because it felt good, so my goal was to get rid of anything that might cause her it itch.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

wow maybe you just need to have a sit down talk then im really not sure

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A.B.

answers from Nashville on

Grandma S., I don't have any words of advice but just a few words of encouragement. As the doctor told you, this will pass. I have a granddaughter that also did this at about 3-4 yrs old. She outgrew this shortly after starting to kindergarten. She start thru puberty at 7 yrs old. Now at 16 and a junior in high school, she is a honor roll student, sings in the honors choir and is a wonderful person with a great sense of humor. She does volunteer work at a nursing home and is in the A+ program to get her tuition free at a junior college. I am so proud of her. I am sure that your granddaughter will out grow this also and be the wonderful enjoyable teen you wish her to be. Just hang in there and continue to be the loving, caring grandma that you are and this girl needs.

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M.B.

answers from Memphis on

Tough one. My little guy is 7 monts and plays with his thingy in the tub. I think it's curiosity. I've heard that if you ignore it, they will be less likely to continue the behavior, that it may be something to get attention. Now, if she's doing it in public, that's a bit of a different situation. I would just try to divert her attention to something else, as you've been doing.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

just ignore it. its VERY common I worked in day cares where some children would do that every day at nap time. dont make a big deal out of it, it will stop i Promise!

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S.P.

answers from Nashville on

S.,
I don't think it is a reason to be overly concerned at this age. I have a daughter who I still catch making motions against the side of a chair sometimes. We always talk about appropriate and inappropriate. Honestly - she says "it feels good". OK, so it seems wierd and makes us think sexually, but they are young for that thought process. Just stick with redirecting and this phase shall pass.

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M.T.

answers from Raleigh on

First where are her parents and thanks for being loving and caring grandparents. Nothing like grandchildren! Have you thought about taking her to a child psychologist? It may very well be a security behavior at this time and re directing her is a great way to handle it. Ignoring it when you can is also a good thing. We have a 3 yr. old in our neighborhood who started doing this when she was less than a year old and started quite innocently, rocking back and forth to get from place to place and it has continued. Hope you can arrive at a helpful solution.

M.

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S.W.

answers from Lexington on

Sounds like a comfort thing. You said it is worse when she is tired. Try making sure your schedule allows plenty of time for her to be well rested and keep her very busy when she is awake. You know her pattern - you may want to limit going out in public when she will be tired and more likely to exhibit this behavior. I know it is annoying, you are probably more aware of this than anyone else. I know it is hard to wait these annoying phases out - she's only two and the pediatrician is right - it is not something to exhaust yourself worrying about. I'm sure that you love her, but I know it must be frustrating because this is not how you planned to spend retirement.

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G.M.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi - do you think she could have a yeast infection? that can be really itchy too? or a UTI? maybe consult a pediatrician

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M.S.

answers from Greensboro on

HI S.,

I totally agree with Glinda~ masturbation is not a toddler thing. Exploration of that area happens but not for the same reasons adults do it and not to this extent. Yeast is a VERY common problem these days as most Americans have too much and too much leads to many many health problems.
Yeast can be simply diagnosed by the tongue. If there is a white coating on it then her little body is eaten up with it and she is susceptible to many diseases by a weakened immune system. If this is the problem she needs to remove simple sugars and simple carbs from her diet and add a probiotic/prebiotic.

Please don't let this continue without further investigation. Yeast seems like such a small thing now but can not only lead to obesity, heart issues, chronic fatigue issues ....but cancers.

God bless,

M.
www.squidoo.com/ifyourbabycouldtalk

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C.R.

answers from Nashville on

My daughter is three years old and also does this! When she first discovered it she did it constantly. Now not so much. Maybe after the new wears off she wont do it as often. Our doctor also suggested we tell her to go to her room. All I can suggest is make her stop what she's doing and go to her room every time.

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C.G.

answers from Memphis on

From what I've gathered in reading on the topic toddler masturbation manifests itself earlier and more frequently in cases where the mother is unaffectionate or absent. It's totally normal and will play itself out eventually. Around age 4-5 kids start getting more into wanting their privacy around bathroom and body. I would just keep doing what you are doing, it may not seem to help, but punishing her or making a big deal out of it could cause serious ill effects with regards to her body and sexuality or have the effect of actually prolonging the behavior as a public spectacle in order for her to grab attention. So just be super affectionate with her when she's playing and interacting with you. If while playing solo she starts to "play solo" just ask her if she needs to go to her room for some "private time". Explain that we don't do that in public spaces, but that if she needs private time all she needs to do is go to her room and close the door. :)

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D.G.

answers from Chattanooga on

Agrees it sounds like a comfort thing or an infection. Why do you think its a sexual thing? calling more attention to that type of behavior does not help. as long as she is not reaching down touching while she is making the motions it is most likely something else

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