Toddler Having a Hard Time Transitioning to a Big Boy Bed

I transitioned mine at 2 years. My third gave me the most grief. I would sit with him and after a few days, move to the door. If he'd get up, I would keep placing him in bed. It took a long time but eventually he learned to stay there. I hope you have added side bed rails so he doesn't fall out of bed. Good luck.

Hi C. Tyler is still very young. So be patient with him until he gets the feel of his big boy bed. Try putting him in the crib and when he fall asleep put him in his bed.

I agree with the other 2 responses. It doesn't sound like he's ready and transitioning him before he's ready, especially with another big change on the way is not the way to go. Your investment in another crib will pay off several times over with your increased sleep, your toddler's well being etc. I transitioned my daughter out of her crib too early. She is now 11, and sleeps great, but for a few years after I did it I thought that pre-mature transition was the worst parenting mistake I ever made with her.

I moved my first child just after her second b-day, she did fine. The second child did not move until she was 3, she never tried to get out of the crib and was content to stay in it (plus we just moved to a new house and I was worried about the stairs which she did not have a lot of experience with til that point). My third, we moved him at age 2 1/2, and he has done fine.

Maybe it is just too soon for your little one to give up the security of his crib. If he was sleeping fine in there, I would put him back and find somewhere else to put the baby for a few months if you can. Do you have a play pen or a bassinet you can set up for the baby for awhile? Good luck, and hoping you get some rest. :)

I would return Tyler into his crib tonight. And then you'll have two choices: (1) bite the bullet and find a 2nd crib for your new baby (try resale shops, Craigslist, etc.) or (2) keep the newborn in a bassinet or playpen in your room for the first 3-4 months the baby is home and give the transition another try in 3 months. You never know...3 months may make a huge difference for Tyler and his ability to make the transition.

Putting him back into the crib may give him the comfort he needs during this very turbulent time of change. Even if you can get him transitioned to the big bed before the baby comes, you may see additional problems after the baby comes home. Transitions are so tough for our toddlers!

Best of luck!

It might not be what you want to hear, but it doesn't sound like he was ready for the responsibility of the 'big boy bed'. If you are using the crib for the new baby, however, you will definitely want to address this issue right away. It might be painful (for you) for a while but if you are consistent the attention-seeking behaviors will become extinct.

If you've determined that his crying is because he wants your attention, not because he has a physiological need that requires immediate addressing....then stop going to him. Let him cry. If you run to him every time he cries, then he learns "crying = visits from mommy and daddy" and the crying becomes more frequent and intense in order to garner your attention.

There is absolutely no need for you or your husband to go get him, engage him in conversation (which only wakes him up and ramps him up even more), and then soothe him to sleep. He will come to rely on you every night in order to get to sleep - now, if your parenting philosophy is okay with that (and I get that some people are fine with that - each family is different and you have to choose what works best in each case) then continue with the chair-sitting in order to make him fall asleep. But since you're asking for advice on how to help this situation, I'm going to assume that you do not want to have to do this every night!

This will likely not be corrected in one evening. It might take a week. He has learned that "crying = mommy/daddy rescuing" so if you do not come, his response will only be heightened - he will cry louder, harder, and for a longer period of time because "the old routine that brought mommy/daddy running" isn't working, so he's gonna kick it up a notch to the next level! Eventually, with consistency on your part, he learns that you are not coming to make him fall asleep thus he learns to do it on his own, and the behavior ceases.

We are having the exact same issue right now. I e-mailed all my friends with older kids and the consensus was the same with all of them. He is too young to be in a big boy bed. He needs the crib until age 3 if you can keep him in there. We were so bummed, why had no one talked about this transition being so hard? We already had his big boy bed and big boy furniture so we could reuse the nursery for the baby that is coming. We put him back in the nursery for now and all is going well. After my husband and I talked about it, as much as we were upset for purchasing the big boy bed, we had no idea how hard the transition was going to be and will be buying another crib. It doesn't make sense econmoically, but for our own saneness, it does. If I had known this beforehand, I would have made a second nursery and not a big boy room.... I hope this helps :)

I totally disagree with those who've responded that your son is too young for the big boy bed. This is a necessity for you as you are expecting another child soon.

I had the same situation with my girls. My daughter was 15 mos when we transitioned her to the big girl bed and it was difficult for a time, but you need to really be on the same page with your husband.

We got help from a parents group at Delnor Hosipital and all the moms agreed with what we were doing and gave me their support.

First what you are doing is mostly right - Good Job! The gate is important so he can't fall down stairs or what not when he's trying to escape. But do not sit with him til he falls asleep or you'll be doing that for YEARS!! Go into his room, tuck him back in and be loving but stern and tell him that he has to stay in bed and go to sleep. Remind him that this is what big boys do. Sometimes we felt like the meanest people in the world but it only took about two weeks for our daughter to finally get to sleep on her own and stay in bed.

You may be in and out of there a ten times a night, but it's worth it.

Also, make sure that the crib is out of site during this period. If he thinks he can go back to it that can be trouble. Also, he'll be jealous when the new baby takes over his bed. That was one of the things they told me. Get the crib out of site and then reassemble it for the baby just before delivery. That can be a big distraction for him.

Good luck - I know you'll be great!!

I would go back to the crib for him for a while. Your newborn can sleep in a bassinet or pack-n-play for a little while. You are making things too h*** o* yourself trying to do this before he is ready. You need sleep!!

Congrats on expecting #2! I have a 16 month old and am expecting #2 in November (she will be 20 months at the time). I was tempted to transition her to a big bed before her brother arrives, however after doing some research on my own as well as talking to my pediatrician, I decided to just purchase/borrow another crib and leave my daughter where she is. My logic is this: Until babies are around 3 years old, they do not understand the "invisible boundaries" of a big bed, and therefore feel unsafe and insecure... and they get up a lot (as you can attest to!). Also, once the new baby is here, chances are your toddler will "regress" for a while anyway. Why not let him stay where he feels safe and secure during this difficult transition? He will be going through enough change as it is. What I ended up doing is asking myself, "Would I be transitioning her now if I weren't expecting #2?" The answer was no, so I've made up my mind to make sure I help her meet her milestones when she is developmentally ready, rather than when it's convenient for me or to save money. So... you may want to consider putting your newborn in a pack'n play for the first few months or borrowing another crib from someone so your toddler can wait to transition when he is ready. Good luck!

Just a thought ... and I had a little bit more time to work with ... but, if he sleeps well in the crib, he may not be ready to transition. If you DIDn't transition him right now (and it sounds like you're doing all the right things) do you have a bassinett the baby could be in for a couple months? Sometimes they just need the security of thier crib for a little longer.
I had my second one when my first born was 20mos,(it was suppose to be 21 mos ...suprise)
We had JUST started the transition when the baby was born. I had wanted to start it sooner, but it hadn't worked for our little guy.
Anyway -- just a thought.
Hope you get some good ideas/thoughts today.
And hoping you get some of that precious sleep you long for.

Hi Conchetta-

Do you have his bed in the exact same spot and position his crib was in? My younger son had a hard time in his bed because it was in a different spot in his room than his crib was. Once we turned the bed in the same direction the crib was in and he had the comfort of the wall next to him he was fine. I think he felt some security having the wall on one side of his bed rather than having both sides open.
From the night we moved the bed, he hasn't had a problem.
Good Luck

Wow, there are a lot of opinons on this topic! My daughter is 3.5 years and just got her big girl bed about 7 weeks ago. She has the crib, to toddler, to full size convertible bed which probably isn't what you have. The transition from crib is definitely easier with the toddler bed. Maybe you can use his crib mattress on the floor like a toddler bed for a few weeks until you must have it for the new baby. I know that's not ideal, but having the toddler bed made things so much easier for my daughter. She was ready for each transition and was excited when her bed was converted to full size.

We moved my son to a big bed at 2 years old because i was having another baby soon after. It was hell for about 2 weeks but he calmed down after that. We just kept putting him back in bed a thousand times until he got it. It was really tough but he eventually got through it. Good luck. I dont think there is any magic cure, it depends on the child.

He's happy in his bed keep him there. That is his secure place. You don't want your sleep disrupted, but it's fine to mess with his. Give into him on this. Bedtime should be a time to relax for him . You will then put his new sibling into his bed, there will be resentment. Let him decide with you when he is ready to give someone else his bed. Borrow a crib buy a used one if need be. When he see's the baby in a crib he may not want to be in his, or he may want it all the more. ( so what )His little mind is not happy. Try sleeping on the couch a few nights. I bet you'll want your bed back......

I think it is whatever will work for you. We transitioned my first at 15 months. We only did it that early because I was expecting our son in 3 months (she was 18 ms when he was born) and I did not want her to feel like the baby stole her bed, so I wanted her set in her own room/bed before that happened. We transitioned my second at 17 mos. We moved to a new house and just set up his crib as a daybed. One thing I did when I moved which may or may not help is we went to the store and I let each of them pick out a sheet/comforter set for their bed. With each of them it was alot of going back and putting them into bed again. I agree with putting a wall on one side. That may help him feel more secure. My children each transitioned to a daybed, so they still had that one side. Now I have a newborn and since my middle son is using the crib (as a daybed) we have the newborn in our room in a pack n play. We will use that for the few months he is in our room.

The first time at night when you put your child to bed you can continue your usual go to bed ritual. The second time put them to bed and say it is time to go to sleep. After that you just put your child into the bed and don't say a word to them. Eventually they will understand that they do not get any attention after the first time and it will stop. It may take a week or two.