Toddler Attached to Nuk and Blanket

I agree with every other poster. I think the nuk could go (my boys didn't really use them but we ditched them totally around a year) but the blanket? Why take away his blankie? My oldest is 6 and his blanket still hangs on the end of his bed. He no longer needs it for comfort, but he still will not let it get off the end ofh is bed, and I'm fine with that. His attachment to his blanket peaked around 2, and he stopped sleeping with it when he was about 4. My youngest is 2 1/2 nad he still has all three of his blankies in bed, and I wouldn't dream of taking those away from him.

Iwould tell his father to back off, there is no reason to take away the blankie of a toddler!

I agree with the other posters. Get rid of the nuk but definitely keep the blanket. I still have my blanket (well, the replacement my mom bought me when I was 10) and I pull it out when I am sick and it still makes me feel better.

For my kids blankets I bought the big (twin-size?) fleece blankets - Cheetah print and Thomas. It's the only blanket my son will use, so it goes everywhere with us. Grandma's house, car trips, hotels, you name it.

He's not yet 2 and is going through something incredibly traumatic for adults. He's coping the best way he knows how. I think you should let him keep his blanket and nuk until things are more settled.

My son has a blanket and his thumb. He is 3. We don't see any point in taking away his blanket. He will grow out of it soon enough. I would suggest letting him keep the comfort things in his life. Especially during this difficult time.

My niece had a dad that wasn't ever home during her first few years of young life. She had that nuk in her mouth up until she was 4 years old! As for the blanket, if it makes your son feel safe, why get rid of it? If you are uncomfortable with him holding onto the blanket, try having him use it for something else, like a stuffed animal. As long as he knows it's close by.

Not having dad around and going through divorce is a huge step for any child. Let them hold onto what they feel compfortable with unitl they don't need it anymore. There's no rules about those things.

Our daughter is 18 and still has her blanket! She just used it for different things. Like her stuffed animals! And now it's a keepsake for her.

Best wishes!
J.

Ahhh, poor little guy. I have a 2 and almost 4 year old. They both are attached to 2 blankets and a stuffed animal. But they each have one favorite blanket they absolutely can't part with, especially when tired. I wouldn't even think of taking it away. It is something they need developmentally. It is there safety clutch and replaces us when we aren't there like when they are sleeping. Your son will especially need his precious blankie during your time of divorce. I would compromise with the father and get rid of the nuk, but keep the blanket. You could try to make a rule that the blankie has to stay in his bedroom or something. I would really be scared he is going to go the dad's house and he would toss it or something. Maybe try to get him attached to something small that he can take with him to his dad's and keep the blankie at home. I know you really can't reason with an almost 2 year old, but you could try. :) best wishes

I'd say work on getting rid of the Nuk, but not the blanket. Many children use a blanket for security and I think it is a healthy habit at such a young age. My son (who is 3) uses a blanket and I actually encourage it because it makes any travel much easier. As long as he has his blanket, he is happy to lay down and go to bed. Maybe you could work on leaving the blanket in his bed, and getting rid of the nuk (for dental reasons). I'd just do one at a time though, he is dealing with a lot right now.

J.
SAHM to Charlie and Joey

V.,
I understand about the nuk, and wanting it gone - however, these are your child's security items. You take them away, and you will have an insecure child. Getting rid of the nuk can be for dental reasons, which is why I understand that one. However, the blanket is a totally different story. My oldest son is almost 13 and still has his. It is literally a rag! He knows he doesn't HAVE to have it, but it is his. Your child is not even two, his isn't completely secure in his world, especially since he has a number of care providers - the nuk and the blanket may seem as the ONLY constant to him. Give him some time. The nuk can always "just disappear", but let him hold on to something until HE is ready.

A little about me: former educator, WAHM of 4 boys, three blankie lovers, and one had a whole collection of nuks until they "disappeared".

awww, I totally say let him have both for now. He's still pretty little. Especially the blanket, I wouldn't ever take that away!! Everyone needs some type of comfort. Sorry about your divorce. :(

Nuk should probably go; but the blanket??? What's the big deal? My 4 year old takes her "3 musketeers" (my term for her bear, and 2 blankets) on pretty much every car ride. She plays fine without them, but they are her comfort items and are never far away when we are inside (they typicall don't come outside with her unless bear is going for a ride in the basket of her bike. As my co-workers say, if she's taking them to the prom at 16, then we'll worry. To have an object of comfort is very normal and typical at this age. Almost every child in my daughter's daycare class has a special item that they bring from home for nap.. Not sure how to help with the nuk or the fits, but he is young yet. On another note--my siblings and I all had "blankets" that we used for a LONG time. My dad made a family tradition of getting us new ones (same color, style) for Christmas every couple years as a kind of a joke as we got older, but we secretly loved it!

I understand your situation. I would cold turkey the binky, but blankets are great comfort objects! Both my children and several of my friends children are blanket kids! I find it a bit sweet to pick it up when they aren't around and just be able to take my kids in! Besides, with all he is going through he needs some sort of security/ comfort object. As far as doing it more for you, you said yourself he fits until he gets them, so he has learned he can. Choose your battle. I would go for the nuk rather than the blankey. If you want to limit it, tell him he has to stay on the couch with it, or put him on the couch everytime he gets it. He will learn and be ready soon enough to leave it in bed or get rid of it all together. Good Luck!

Is it simply that you give in whereas the babysitter/father/ grandmother does not? Children form attachments to objects for security purposes. Right now he needs security because his life is being changed dramatically with the divorce. Would you feel better if your son was attached to something other than a pacifier and blanket? If he just adored a stuffed dinosaur would that be okay? If so, maybe you could try transitioning him to some other object. Otherwise, you'll just have to take the blanket and pacifier away and deal with the creaming that goes along with it. Eventually he will stop seeking the objects but it could take some time.

Both of my children were hooked to their blankets. My daughter is 7 and trys to sneak it in the car every once in a while. The blanket isn't hurting anything and if it makes him feel more secure then why not let him have it? He eventually won't need it so much and will give it up on his own. We had the rule when my daughter got older that it would have to stay in the car and couldn't come with us in the store. After she got that the rule was that it didn't leave the house unless she was sleeping over at Grandma's house. My best friend is 30 and still sleeps with her blanket.

Both of my children had lost their pacifiers, so that was the perfect time for us to go cold turkey. My mother in law does daycare and cuts the ends so they don't work anymore. Her kids usually suck a little and then throw them away telling her they are broken.

I agree that this is a traumatic time in his little life and the nuk and blanket are his safe zone. Kids are most often willing to show their vulnerable side when with their "safest" caregiver.. usually Mom. He doesn't want to be called a baby by dad perhaps, but will really always love being your baby.
My first child only used the nuk for nap and bed shortly after age 1. He didn't mind giving it up for nap, however he stopped napping then and the nap was more important to me then the nuk. After a couple months I gave it back to him and he could then fall asleep easily. At a little over 3 he traded Santa for a big boys' bike. Once he saw the bike under the tree he went back to his room (they were kept under the pillow), got his nuks and put them in the garbage!
2nd child was much more needy and had her nuk 75 % of the time. I would take it out after she was asleep a lot but it was hard to get her to leave it under her pillow. Finally at age 4 she traded it to the pet store for a hamster. She just NEEDED that sucking and comfort in her more challenged world. Your son NEEDS the comfort and 21 mos is NOT a big deal especially if he's fine going w/out when he's with others. Wean slowly w/out shame.
BTW, 3rd child was no big deal and gave it up before age 2. :) She does, however, still take stuffed animals, none in particular, in her backpack often and sometimes for security purposes even at age 9.

I agree with the others--he needs his blanket now more than ever. I don't have much experience with pacifiers because my kids wouldn't take them. My youngest had a favorite blanket that he slept with until he was about 5. He's now 8 and he still asks for it occassionally if he's sick, scared or upset. Just last weekend during a tornado warning he took it down to the basement with him as one of his favorite possessions. Good luck to both of you during this transition time and let him have the blanket as long as he wants it.

You're going through a divorce? That's more than any two-year-old should ever have to go through. Let him have the nuk and blanket for God's sake, so he has something stable in his life, and tell his father to back off!

My daughter will be 2 in August and still uses her nuk, but she only gets it at nap and bedtime... and sometimes when she is really sick (teething) it helps sooth her. Otherwise it is on the top shelf and if she cries for it she sits in her 'time out corner' which lasts only a minute and she is back playing with whatever. By age 3 I will have her totally weaned... hopefully she will just get sick of it because it is getting old and I will not replace it.

I am not going through a divorce but my daughter does not need a nuk at the grandparents (unless it is nap/bedtime, just can't get her to sleep without it... thankfully it falls out the minute she falls asleep). With me she cries for that nuk... your daughter trust you fully with her true raw emotions so that may be why she acts out for the nuk. As the other moms said this would be the one to wean and you could start now if you wanted.

Regarding the blanket, I would never take that away. Like all the other moms said that is a healthy comfort object. I do have a lovie that stays in the car (which also goes into the grandparents) and home so we don't have to drag them all over. I believe that young kids need at least one lovie item so that they can sooth themselves instead of relaying on others to sooth him.

V.,
Your story is very near and dear to me. My son (now 4yrs) was almost two when his dad and I separated. He is a thumb sucker with a blankie. You're right, your son is dealing with a lot of his own emotions as well as the emotions of the adults in his life... this is a HUGE transition. Don't worry about kicking his security items yet; he's young and the time will come.
My son also acted up with me more than others- almost like he was mad at me for the change. I think little ones do this with mommy becuase they feel most comfortable expressing themselves with us. We continue to have our challenges as our divorce is not final and his dad has 'moved on' with his girlfriend (of 5 yrs!) and their new baby. If you would like to respond, I would be happy to correspond with you- there are a lot of us single mommies out there! Good luck- Deb.

Hi V.-

Our 2 year old was VERY attached to his NUK and we were wondering how to get rid of it. He would carry around multiples of them and switch them out, etc. He was to the point of doing tricks with them. Yeah, for sure time to see that go. Anyway...one night we decided to gather all of them up and put them in a bag for the NUK Fairy to come and get them. In return, the NUK Fairy left him a gift (some trucks or something). Worked like a charm. I am sure each child is different but he totally fell for this. We had just had a new baby too so he would take her NUK. He did this a couple times after that but always gave it up when we caught him with it. Of course we kept the NUK's in the cupboard for awhile just in case it was short-lived, but he never wanted them after that. We ask him now where they are and he says the Fairy took them. Good luck!

About the blanket - my daughter is going to be 12 and still likes to have her blanket with her when she sleeps or is uncomfortable. She doesn't take it with her now when she goes places but she still has it around. Nothing wrong with having something to "cherish" or make you feel better.

At almost 2 I agree the nuk should be gone. But not the blanket. He is still a baby, don't rush him into growing up, he will give up the blanket in his own good time. If there are major upheavals in his life, he needs the source of comfort

It sounds like maybe your husband is pushing your son to let these things go, but he obviously needs them right now. I guess I'm saying I wouldn't worry too much about it, as kids have comfort items for various reasons throughout their life. My son is 23 months and has "blanket bears" that he has to sleep with and occasionally carry around. That's the stage he's in, not too much older than your son. I would advise you not to push him to drop them both. It is probably reasonable to wean him off of the nuk at this age, though. I don't think you can push him to get rid of his comfort blanket, though.

Let him keep the blanket! My kids are 3 and 6 all still have their snuggle blankets. We always leave them in the car when we go for outings but we will never take them away, ever! We got rid of our daughters pacifier when she was 3 and told her the binky fairy was coming and that she would get a new toy to replace her binky. We talked about it with her for over a week before taking it away. She got a fun toy that we knew she would like, one night while she was sleeping we took the binky and left the toy. She did fine. Really he's not old enough to understand all that's happening in his life, let him keep what comforts him for now and tell the other caregivers and dad your plan. Show dad these posts if that might help.

Take care and good luck!

I do not know when you work, but my daughter seems to want her nuk more at night time. About two hours before bedtime. Could it be that you work during the day? Just a suggestion. Also I would not get too worked up about the nuk and blanket at the age of two.. I know a 21 year old who still sucks her thumb at times..now that is a problem!!! When you want to get rid of them and he really understands what you mean..maybe that is now I only have a 15 month old and she still only has a few words in her vocabulary. Maybe gather all of the nuks together with some helium balloons and tell him that the nuk fairy needs them for other small children and take them to a field and let him let them go..good symbolism I know. He might be ok with it, but remember to say that when the fairy gets them she'll leave a present for him for being so helpful and then get him a big boy gift. Hope things work out for both of you.
H.

Let go of your own ideas V., and let him have his blanket and nuk for now... unless you can find something just as comforting to replace them with.

It will take about a year for him to get through the initial trauma - taking away his personal family (his blanket and nuk are part of his family) will be way more traumatic than even the divorce itself if you push it.

Think about it ~ a 21 month old has only a few things he is attached to for comfort. Mom and Dad (as a unit) are splitting apart and shaking his world. Won't you give him this to cling to for the time being?

Let go and he'll let them go soon enough.

Oh, do let him have his comfort zone! It sounds like he needs it, and he is still so little. This is an age where the kids ascribe "powers" to objects, and get real comfort out of them. He Will grow out of it. But to take it from him when he needs the safety would be really tough on him.

I had a nuk until I was 4, and then just let it go. My niece had a blanket until she was 8 - slept with it every night, and sought it out when she was stressed. Now she's 14 and just as independent and strong as can be. If you can swallow the embarassment, let your little one be little for a while longer! (my 2 cents, at least!)

When I weaned my oldest (at 17 months) from his nuk I cut the tip off so the "suction" was gone. He only ever used it at nap/bed time and after 2 nights he was done with it. My youngest is 16 months and I will start weaning him soon. They both use blankets and I have no problem with that. I agree that it's a good security item without doing any physical damage, like a nuk can ruin teeth. My oldest actually has 2 lovies, a blanket and a puppy. They both carry them with them all over the house but unless we're going on a road trip or somewhere over night the lovies don't leave the house.

V..
If he does not need it at the sitters, or Gandmas why do you give it to him at home, just put it away when you leave the house in the morning and don't get it back out. he might cry for it a few days but he will forget all about it if he does not see it. If you really want him to give it up you have to stop giving it to him give it a try and see what happens.

Just to let you know that you are doing a good job. Kids can sense when parents are stressed out divorce is hard to cope with and maybe your son can sense it and that is why he acts up. I almost divorced my husband and when we were seperated my twins acted out alot I think your son is ok at the babysitters because that is the one place where everything is normal. And forget what your ex wants the blanket is fine my daughter has a sheep she carries around and she is 5 now that is your sons one thing that makes him feel comfortable and in time the nuk will be gone just have to give him time. Your sons world of normalicy has been turned upside down in time he will adjust to everything that is new.

Hello! My daugther is 24 months and we just got rid of the nuk...so I sympathize with you on that! I agree with everyone else about the blanket though...I don't know that I"d take that away. But as far as the nuk....what worked for us is we cut the nipple. Our daughter tried sucking on it and it just wasn't the same for her so we told her the nuk broke and she seemed fine w/ it..and would just say "broke nuk" She wanted to hold on to it while she took naps and went to sleep. But she didn't cry herself to sleep or anything. So, that is what worked for us. Hopefully you find something that works! Good luck!

I understand that you do not want him to always have to rely on his nuk and his blankie. He won't always want them, because he won't always need them. He needs them now so he can cope with the divorce. Consider the other ways he can cope with loss...there is not any other way he can cope with such devastating change all by himself. There is very little that he can control. I suspect he is a master of the nuk and blankie. That's not a bad thing.

You and your ex must keep in perspective that your son is the child, and you two are the adults. Adults must from time to time give up things, such as things or people with which they're attached. The difference in children who are only two years old is that the adults are able to understand why they need to detach; the children do not. They see it as punishment. If you strip him of his harmless comfort items now, you will be hurting your son. It's not like you're giving him a case of Oreos or unending amounts of television. Just because you and your ex feel he needs to give up these things doesn't mean it makes sense. Logically, it is the right thing to do to allow him his coping tools. There will be plenty of social pressures in the future for your son, as with every child, so let him be a little child now. I like the saying, "Baby him when he's a baby so when he's an adult you don't have to." Your child is not an extension of you--he is a totally different person--enmeshment can be harmful to a child and the relationship they have with their parents.

My daughter is almost three and can not even go for a walk around the block without her blanket and sippy cup in hand. My four year old was like this, but now forgets to even bring his blanket to bed with him half the time. My ten year old still takes his baby blanket to bed with him and when he wakes in the morning cuddles under it while watching cartoons, but when he goes to his dad's house for the weekend he doesn't bring it with nor does he need it. Your son will grow out of his attachments, give him time. You may want to find a replacement for the Nuk. Maybe bring him to Target and let him pick out a new sippy cup? The nuk is just not good for his teeth. Which is why we never ever even offered a nuk to our kids and babies. My nephew is almost 6 and still walks around with a nuk in his mouth!!! It drives me crazy when I see him with it still.
I got divorced when my oldest was 2 1/2 and remarried right before he turned four. Do not worry about him! Kids are resiliant. Especially, when they are that little. Aaron doesn't even remember me being married before nor does he remeber our old house, our old dog, not a thing! He was so little then. He does have a great memory though. When he was four we took him to the State Fair. On the way there, a car pulled out when the light turned green and I was not paying attention so I had not started pulling out right away. A truck ran the red light from the other way and smashed into the car sending it to the side of of the road. It would have been our car that got hit had I started out when the light changed. Aaron still talks about that incident everytime we pass by that road! I barely remember it because it was just a little accident. Not even all that remarkable as the truck was maybe going 20 miles per hour and it was not even that loud. I'm just saying that even if your little guy is super smart like mine is he will adjust just fine and not even remember the way things used to be in no time at all. One thing I regret is not getting counseling for myself. I always thought I was fine, but the first year of my marriage to my husband now was tough because I was still carrying around baggage from my first. I did not even realize my problem either. I blamed Mike a lot for my insecurities. We have a great marriage now and he is my best friend, but I sometimes wish I could go back and get counseling to make that first year as great as the next 6 have been.

I can sum this up in one sentence you wrote:
If he doesn't get them he throws a fit and cries until he gets them.

He has learned that you will give in if he throws a fit and cries. Grandma and sitters probably distract him enough that he doesn't need it as much there. Also try to take just the nuk, a security blanket isn't a bad thing and with his life turned upside down as it is, he needs that.

Best way to get rid of the nuk is have him dispose of it by making it special while you are out. Trade it for something and let him throw it out in the garbage (it keeps you from giving in to his fits). That way he will know it is gone and when he cries for it, tell him "remember, you are a big boy, you got rid of it, I am so proud of you" and clap your hands. If you keep an upbeat attitude about it, he will pick up on it.

Good luck and God Bless you for the hard times you have ahead of you.

You need to realize that these two item you want to take away from your son is his security. It sounds like he is bounced around to at least four different places, and that is a lot for a little one. His life has changed a lot with the divorce and he needs to cope in his own way. He is not even two years old yet, I can promise you he will not go to school with these two items. It is his comfort and you shouldn't try to take both away at once anyway. Try the nuk first gradually, maybe only at naptime and bed time or something like that. As far as his blanket let him keep it there is nothing wrong with the fact that it is what comforts him. I am sad for him because I know divorce is not easy for anyone, but imagine being that little and not understanding a ton other than the fact that nothing is the same anymore. I am sure he feels the tension and the stress from everyone. Kids are little sponges. I am completely speaking from experience as little as he is he can think that this has something to do with him. I have a 7 year old stepdaughter, and you wouldn't believe the things she remembers of her parents divorce, and some of it she was only 18mos old. You know what, she still has a blanket that she sleeps with at night, and she is fine, and happy and smart. In fact I am a 31yr old mother of two beautiful girls, and I still have a favorite blanket. I will say a prayer for you and your little guy, just remeber, there are worse things you could be dealing with with him.

C. W

My husband still has his blanket. I think it's awesome. And no he doesn't still sleep with it.

You son is not even 2 yet. I wouldn't worry about comfort items yet. If that is how he is comforted then leave him be. I don't understand the rush to take these things away? Are they doing any harm?

Good luck!
~A.

www.askdrsears.com is a site that i highly recommend.

im sorry for your divorce. its horrible when things dont work out, and your son can sense that.

first of all, your son will adjust to divorce. right now, however, he has no way of understanding what is going on, especially if there is a tense environment every time mom and dad are together. you cant always help that, after all it takes 2, so do your best to leave the hard feelings behind closed doors and away from your son. im not saying you have to pretend to be all happy in front of him, just try not to fight and make him scared. i dont know your situation, maybe its a more plesant one than normal, so i apologize if im speaking unneccesarily.

ok, now on to the nuk and blankie thing. first of all, i am not at all opposed to these items. kids need something they can hold onto, and snuggle. i feel we shouldnt discourage this. after all, only your child knows his inner feelings and he should be allowed to make the choice to need them or not. HOWEVER there is a fine line somewhere, because i have a friend who has an 8 year old who hangs on to her see-through holey blankie and sucks her thumb. i dont feel that is age appropriate anymore....

however, your son is only 21 months old. in my opinion, theres nothing wrong with a child this age having snuggles, lovies, nuks, etc. they in fact may help prevent a lot of the behavioral problems of kids who have to 'grow up' too soon. kids grow at their own pace, regardless of what positions we put them in. having these security items are not harmful, they are helpful. especially during a time of great stress. your child may not know what is going on with mom and dad, but he knows that something is not right. that makes him nervous and uneasy. in my opinion, he NEEDS the blankie and nuk to help him comfort himself.

dr sears says in his books that an unfulfilled need shows up as an undesireable habit later. for example, i have a child in my day care who has never been allowed a nuk (in fact, he cant even suck hard enough to hold it in his mouth) and he grinds his teeth... all day, whenever he wants to comfort himself. OUCH! i would prefer the nuk.
if you take the nuk away, its likely your son will find his thumb. and you cant give that away. lol.

just be patient with your son and his needs. you may not understand them, but you should be respectful of them. the more we can respect our kids and their feelings, the better they will feel about us later. its all about building trust and the foundations for love and honor and respect. in order to 'teach' these things to our children, we must treat our children with those things. im not saying you dont, i dont know your situation, i dont know your family life. im just saying that in general if the country listened and honored the feelings of its children, maybe there wouldnt be so many angry kids ......

i myself dont remember having a sucker. i do remember having a blanket, mostly because i had it so long. when i was aroudn 4 my mother told me that if i wanted my blanket, i had to be in bed. pretty soon i got used to the idea that blankie was for bed, and i didnt get to just carry it around. as i was older, i put it inside of my pillowcase... and thats where it stayed, pretty much until college LOL. and i turned out to be a happy, healthy, confident adult, without any attachment issues. i still have it somewhere, but its certainly not 'in use'. lol.

anyhow, i would just be patient. when he is older, you can always have a lesson about the nuk fairy giving nuks to kids who dont have one... and the blanket will probably someday get lost or just plain forgotten as he grows and matures on his own. without it he might withdrawl from you, get angry, throw tantrums.... the possibilities are endless. only you will know when he no longer needs them. you can still insist that he only use them at bed or snuggle time. my son is 18 months and he has his snuggle bear and sucker. he only gets the sucker when hes really needing snuggle or bedtime. the snuggle he wants with him a lot, but he doesnt carry it 24/7 - he gets to playing and i will put it up on the table or something until he looks for it. its mostly about balance.. knowing when he needs it, and when he doesnt.. and just respecting those feelings.

i hope this makes sense, and i hope that you can have patience and the love for your son will help you do the right thing for both you and him. in my opinion, we cant force our ideas on our children any more than we can force them to be what we want them to be. they are who they are. we just 'fertilize' that and help it grow. lol.

when hes ready, you will know... and good luck!

Your son is going through a huge emotional change right now! I would not worry about him being attached to comfort items. He's only 2 years old and in the grand scheme of life does it really matter if a baby needs something as minor as a blanket and nuk to soothe himself with in an emotional time? he will let these go soon enough.

You have to ask yourself why you and his father have a problem with these comfort items. If you are worried about what other people think you should let go of that right now. Many children (my own included) kept a pacifier until the age of three. and it was so much easier to let it go when he was old enough to understand about being a big boy and all that entailed. and it was easy when we waited until he was ready. I'm not blowing smoke. :)

I am very sorry that you and your family are dealing with a divorce right now, but I truly would not worry about a blanket and a nuk. As an adult you are suffering, imagine the confusion to a two year old. Don't take away the only things he has control over. We can't expect children to behave in adult like ways or understand adult situations. They are children. and at two he is barely more than a baby.

I hope I didn't hurt your feelings, but since you posted this question I assumed you were looking for honest answers. Just try not to worry about this little thing and just take care of yourself and your child in the most loving way in this trying time.

My almost 2 year old son is extremely attached to his blankie, pillow, & also sucks his thumb. I've been told by his daycare that he never asks for (nor do they offer) his blanket -- but at home, it's a different story. He "has" to have that blankie. I say this because I'm not going through a divorce or any other major changes & we're still experiencing this. So, although it is most likely made worse for your son since your family is experiencing this difficult change, it is probably also partially not related.

I've heard boys cling to their nuks/thumbs longer than girls. Your son is still pretty young and from what I understand, little ones have a greater need for haivng "comfort" objects or "transitional" objects (or whatever you want to call them) than older kids/adults.

Since our pediatrician says the thumb sucking/nuk should be gone by 3 years (so their teeth don't get affected) my advice is to focus on getting rid of the nuk but let him have the blanket.
This suggestion will allow your son to have 1 thing that is his & won't "go away" or change, but one thing (that is of a health issue) that you can start to work on. (This would also minimize you having to have a battle on absolutely everything)

Talk to your pediatrican for advice & support then once you start the process you have to stick with it and be consistent. Stay positive and reassure your son that you love him and are there to parent him & be his strength. He needs your stability.
Good luck.

V. - My heart goes out to you and your son - I know you are both in a tough situation. I helped a close friend through a similar situation not too long ago. Her son also got more attached to his lovey, especially at home. A child therapist explained the situation this way - the reason he was more attached to the item at home was because that was actually the most stressful place for him. At the sitters, at grandma's, etc. the situation and environment had not changed, so he felt more secure there. At home, however, the situation was very different - lots had changed...dad was suddenly gone, mom was more stressed (understandably) and he felt insecure. That insecurity translated into an increased attachment to a lovey. The professional recommendation was that the attachment to a lovey was actually a good coping tool for that age, and to allow the child to use the object or objects for comfort as much as he needed to, to just accept that attachment. The more of an issue that was made out of it, the more of a problem it would become - it would be best to just accept it and not comment on it (good or bad) or talk about taking it away, because doing so actually made him more insecure and raised his attachment to a panic level, creating a vicious cycle. My friend followed the advice, and also talked to his caregivers and family to do the same. Within a few months, he stopped being panicked if his lovey was not within reach at home. He still has his lovey (a stuffed animal) but is now only really needing or wanting it at nighttime or if he is sick or something. It all seemed like really sound advice to me - adding more stress (taking away or fighting over the lovey) to an already stressful situation (the divorce) did not seem like a good idea. A child, especially one too young to understand what is going on and why, can only handle so much stress and change at once. Besides, at not even two, there are a lot worse things he could be doing than wanting a comfort object. Some kids are just more likely (stress or not) to attach to a lovey or blankie. I am 35, and I still have the stuffed puppy I slept with as a child. If you are concerned with his teeth development with the nuk, check with your pediatrician or dentist. I know that my youngest brother sucked his thumb through early elementary school, and he has the straightest, best teeth of all of the siblings. Best of luck to both of you.

I'd like to baby sit anytime if you need help

If the poor child can't have his family intact, at least let him have his Nuk and blanket. He's still young enough that no other child is going to harass him about it. Why should adults? We have our coffee, TV, exercise routine, etc. to decompress with after a stressful day, so why can't a kid have something to cuddle - something he knows will help? When he gets to a point where peer pressure kicks in, he will give them up willingly. Before that, it will be a battle and right now he needs you to be his support, not another front to fight. At his young age the world looks like it's upside down. He needs lots of love and something concrete to hold onto when he can't hold you.

SAHM of seven, my 20 mo old still has his Nuk and "lovey" (stuffed animal)