To Prepare or Not to Prepare

Why not compromise and wash the clothes and get organized and just get down and cleaned up the things you need for a newborn. My babies were in the pack and play bassinet for the first weeks the crib was set up later. Also I had a lot of baby clothes stored clean in XL ziplock bags marked by size. I could easily go grab the next size with no problem.

That is quite possibly the saddest tradition I have ever heard of. This is a new life, and you should be filled with excitement and anticipation about the arrival of your new baby. The only people who should be feeling guilty right now is your family for trying to uphold such a morbid awful tradition. I say start getting ready for this baby. Get excited. Wash and fold tiny little clothes to your hearts content. Put the crib together, pull the baby gear out of the attic; it's time. You earned it dammit. :)

My friend had a similar family tradition/superstition (they said something bad would happen if you prepared...) I was really surprised... she was nervous about setting up anything for fear it would cause some terrible disaster... or more accurately, her family would give her no end of grief!

Even if you don't get everything ready... you'll still have the stuff around if something happens... so I don't see why having it ready will make it significantly worse.... plus, why not prepare for the good and assume that nothing bad will happen! (I mean you take precautions to be as safe as possible... but you don't not do things just because there is some risk involved? You don't NOT celebrate a birthday for fear you won't have another... or NOT make reservations for dinner, because you just MIGHT get in a car crash on the way there... etc)

It is up to you, but if it were me I would rather plan for the best and prepare the nursery, hang a few baby clothes and maybe even cook and freeze a few dinners ahead of time. If that feels like too much, you could just sort and launder all the baby stuff and put it back into neat boxes so when you get home all you have to do is pop everything into dressers and onto hangers... but you aren't technically "ready" quite yet.

By the way, my friend with the similar tradition decided to go ahead and get everything ready, and she has a beautiful, healthy, happy, cute little 1 month old despite what her family said!

For you or for them? LOL
If it is the family and their feelings/comments you are concerned about, then just don't mention what you are doing. Just don't bring it up. They don't need to know.
If it is YOU that has the mixed up emotions about it, then try to remind yourself of what you just said here: That you only have 4 weeks to enjoy the baby before you have to go back to work, and you don't want to spend that time rushing through and organizing bags of clothes.
Besides, if, God forbid, something were to happen, do you really think that NOT having done the work of organizing the clothing in advance would make you feel any less awful?? Of course not. So get the work part out of the way while you have the time to do it in a relaxed way. And you can enjoy thinking about holding your baby soon and imagining what he/she will like most as you wash and sort through it all. There is NO reason to feel guilty about getting things ready in advance. I've heard of not having baby showers until close to the end of the pregnancy, but to not sort clothes you have until the baby is BORN just seems a bit extreme to me.
You will have peace of mind that you can relax if you get it out of the way. :)

Do what works for you. :) Don't worry about their feelings. This is about you and your baby - not family traditions.

Think of all the women here and everywhere who have either never heard of the tradition or chose to completely ignore it. We've still had healthy babies :) If you believe in God, would God set things up in such a way? I don't think He would.

I am pretty type A- I had everything washed, organized, decorated a good month or more before each of my 4 was born, and there wasn't a single problem with any of them.

My other thought is that this is your 2nd baby- you won't have as much free time this time as you did the 1st time around (and I think most of us, anyway,
are pretty tired the 1st few weeks with a new baby). I think if you want to organize, wash, etc., you should just go ahead and do it- and not mention it to your family ;o)

There is no way that by preparing for the baby's birth you will "jinx" it and cause a problem. And if there were a problem (God forbid) I would think that supportive friends and relatives could be the ones to put away anything that was prepared ahead of time in your home. In my opinion, get nesting! I prepared things months before my 3 children's births and I was always happy to have less work to do when I had a precious newborn to cuddle!

its time to change your tradition! :o)

I've never heard that tradition; it doesn't sound very practical. I understand the feelings behind it, but I would say that you just take the chance and get everything ready for the baby ahead of time while you still can. After all, it's called a nesting period for a reason! If you have the time and really want to get everything done, then go for it. It really is the best thing to do for you and your baby, you have time off of work to do it, and like you said, you don't want to have to do it after the baby is born. Have fun nesting! And congratulations!

That is the tradition in my family also, but i had it ready anyways. Most of my cousins did also.

In my opinion, that's like never leaving your home "just in case" you get kidnapped. That's silly and a terribly negative and kind of depressing mentality your family has. What an awful tradition!! Do what YOU want to do, for YOUR family and YOUR baby, and YOUR life. This time in your life is about the family you're creating, not adhering to ridiculous traditions of your existing family. Time to make new family tradition, mama!

Hi A. - I am so sorry that a lot of people do not understand your tradition.

I mean no disrespect to you, but I am going to guess that you practice judaism, since I know that preparing for the baby and having a shower is a huge no-no. If I am wrong, I sincerely apologize! But if you are, I completely understand the struggle you are having because this one is a BIG deal in the faith! It would be like telling a Catholic person to go ahead and eat meat on Good Friday or to tell a Muslim to just skip a prayer or to tell someone who is Jewish to just skip the bris for their son; as if they're no big deal.

How do you feel about breaking from tradition? I honestly think the most important thing here is your sanity and preparing in a way that will make you feel emotionally healthy and comfortable in anticipation of the huge life change you're about to experience. If your immediate family is on board (husband and kids) then consider doing it ahead of time and just deal with the guilt your family or friends may be placing on you, which of course will all melt away as soon as they see your beautiful new baby :)

Best wishes with whatever you decide!

I have never heard of this tradition and frankly, it makes no sense to me either. Miscarriages occur much more frequently at the beginning of pregnancies, not at the end. This is why celebrities wait until they are farther along to announce a pregnancy. Also, if it's bad luck, why have they given you hands me down? How is it any different to have clothes given for a baby that isn't here than to have them washed and the nursery ready? The baby things are still in your home What if you have to spend extra time at the hospital and you put off prepping? This actually happened to me but I was set up and ready. Trust me, after giving birth the last thing
you will want to do is laundry and preparing the room for your new
addition. Tell your family that while you do respect their ideas, you will go along with what makes sense to you as a working mom rather than following some silly superstition.

SO you are supposed to be prepared in the event your baby dies????? I don't get that old thinking. NOTHING can prepare anyone for that and it's bad karma placed on the unborn to even think that way. Get everything prepared and ready and deal with life as it comes. Just my 2 cents...

Nesting is what naturally happens right before you have a baby to prepare for a baby. Personally I think that if something tragic were to happen, it would be hard whether or not you put clothes away. Being prepared is what makes us moms! Good Luck :)

I live in Ireland and this tradition is a big one here. It is bad luck to have any baby stuff in the house before the baby is born. Traditionally the grandma(s) go and set up the baby stuff while mom and baby are still in the hospital.

I would say if you want to keep with tradition, there shouldn't be a problem with washing and sorting the clothes you got as well as cleaning up the stuff in the attic. Maybe wait to actually set things up and put the clothes in the dresser, but that will be quick, easy and something your hubby/family can do after the baby is here if you have everything clean and ready. This way your family may not even know you've been "preparing" but you'll still feel ready and like there isn't a ton to do after baby arrives.

Start a new tradition.
best, k

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This is the tradition in our family as well. I always thought it was a bit silly until I had to help take apart a nursery for a friend who lost her baby during childbirth. Most "silly" traditions have a reason. And, my friend eventually moved after that as she always remembered the nursery "set up" . I think you need to go with what you are comfortable with. The tradition is to help protect you if (god forbid) anything happens - it wont make bad things happen of course. I would do all the laundry and have all set to go - have hubby set up crib ect... while you are cuddling your sweet baby. Either way best of luck on your new baby!

My goodness. Get those things ready already! I have so much stuff hidden away for when the kids get bigger and stuff hidden away that has been outgrown and going to be given away.

I have the tubs from Walmart, rubbermaid or steralite are fine. I write on the side with shaprpi's what is in the tub: infant by, 6-9 months Winter clothes, Infant girl, newborn Spring/Summer/early Fall. Toddler Winter clothes, size 18-24 months. Etc...I can spot the tub of clothes I am looking for in a moment and pull it out, select what I want in the closet and drawers, switch stuff out, and the tub put back, maybe turned around and relabeled, in about 20 minutes.

Personally - I'd be getting things together also... when baby does come, you want to spend as much time with your newbie as you can, not time spent getting things together and organized.

Can you keep working until you are due and use the maternity leave after you have the baby?

Why are you front loading your maternity leave? Unless you have a very physical job no one I know takes more than a week off before their baby is due. If you did that you would have two months to bond with the new baby and plenty of time to placate your family.

I just had the basics ready. When I was in the hospital my husband and
family put crib together, got out other baby gear etc. I once had to dis-
assemble a nursery for a friend who had a stillborn baby. Do that once and
you think long and hard about having everything done. May sound ridiculous
but I just would rather wait until baby was born.

A., I am sorry that so many said your family tradition is ridiculous. I know that this is a tradition that certain religions follow and it's offensive to call that silly. If you don't agree with the tradition, then why not get things ready? Or at least partially ready? If you would like to continue the tradition, then spend these last few weeks relaxing & pampering yourself. Make a list of things for your relatives to come over and do while you and your husband are in the hospital with the baby. Then, hopefully you won't have too much to do when you get home and can still have the time during your leave to enjoy the baby. Best wishes!

I mean no offense, but that is one of the silliest traditions that I have ever heard and sounds like it would just put more stress on an already stressed out new mom. Time for you to be matriarch sp? and turn this tradition around! At least have your newborn stuff washed and ready to use.