To Nap or Not to Nap??

Updated on August 24, 2008
P.H. asks from Sellersville, PA
15 answers

My daughter is two weeks shy of her 4th birthday. Sometimes she naps, sometimes she doesn't. Her summer camp/school does not allow time for nap, so there are times when she will fall asleep in the car on the way home from camp and she will sleep for up to two hours. She's a beast to wake up. When she doesn't nap, she goes to sleep at 7:30ish. When she does nap, even if it's only a half hour, she can't fall asleep until 9:30ish. She tends to wake up at the same time or a little earlier than normal after going to bed later, like 6:30am. My issue is: is it better to let her nap when she wants, even if that means she will be getting less sleep that night? Or, should I keep her up until 7:30pm and put her to bed then, so she gets a good nights rest? Advice please...

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E.S.

answers from Allentown on

I would keep nap time in her schedule, but say on a day she isn't tired offer a quiet time where she can read books or do quiet activeities on her own.

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A.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

P.
I would say don't let her nap and get her to bed at 7:30. If she wakes up at close to the same time both ways I think that you need to go for the option that gives her more sleep. 9:30 - 6:30 isn't really enough sleep for a 4 year old. They should ideally have about 10-11 hours. Try to adjust her schedule so that she matches whats best for your schedule making sure there is at least 10 hours of sleep. If she is then getting adequate rest at night she won't need a nap as much. (This will get much easier when it starts getting dark early.)

Good luck!

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S.T.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter is 2 1/2 I don't do the nap. I keep her as busy as I possible can and then put her to bed at 6:45 she is out by 7 same with our 3 1/2 month old. Now...my husband gives her a nap then she will stay up til close to 10. I prefer no nap because come 7p I am ready for some down time and a break.

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi P.,

Put your daughter on the family schedule. Summer camp is almost over. She has to learn to adjust to others schedule, even though it may be difficult.

hope this helps. D.

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S.C.

answers from York on

Dear P.,
My son turned five the end of April & still naps almost every day. We have a quiet time, because I also have a 16-month old daughter who obviously still naps. The rule for us is that Joe has to be in his room & be quiet for one hour, but the first 20 minutes have to be resting on his bed. His room is relatively dark in the afternoon, & I put his sound machine on for relaxation. Most days he still falls asleep within the 20-minute rest time. Having been a nanny for several years & care for children ranging from infant to age 10, I discovered that children need to rest when their body needs it. One family that I was nanny for had three children. The oldest was nearly five & attended preschool three days a week. The parents didn't want him napping, so I would let him watch a cartoon while I put the other two down for their naps, which usually only took 10-15 minutes. Many times he fell asleep in that short period of time, ESPECIALLY on days that the had preschool. When I spoke to the parents about it we reached a compromise of allowing him to sleep for about 45 minutes. This gave his body a little bit of a break (& me a chance to clear the lunch table), without completely messing up his bedtime routine. That being said, bedtime in that particular house was a zoo! The parents typically spent 1-3 hours putting the kids to bed at night, with the two boys (3 & 4) ending up in their bed nearly every night. On the positive side, I learned a LOT about what I would later use & not use with my own kids.
I hope this perspective is helpful for you. Have a GREAT day!

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R.N.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My oldest will be 5 next month. I still follow a nap time schedule. She does not always sleep but will take books into bed w/ her and have "quiet time". Some days she sleeps others she is not so tired. She always has the same bedtime and always wakes at the same time in the morning. At this age they start to phase out of a nap but they are still growing and will have days that hey need the rest.
Bottom line, do what is best for your family dynamic.
Good luck, R..

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A.L.

answers from Allentown on

Hi P.,
I am dealing with the exact same issue with my little girl who is 3 1/2. She is also awful to wake up, but I wake her up the minute we get home so that she gets a good nights rest. I think that is more important than letting her nap. On a Friday I may let her nap and then sleep later on Saturday.

Good luck!
A.

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K.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I'm eager to see the responses you get. This sounds EXACTLY like my son, who is 3. My husband and I are constantly having the "to nap or not to nap" discussion. Good luck to you.

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R.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Many kids do away with napping (ie.sleep)by the time they are 4. Usually i'd say if she falls asleep then she obviously needs the sleep and to let it be but if she is waking up cranky and it affects her bedtime I think it is ok to try to keep her up. Just put her to bed a little earlier- if she's exhausted try adjusting that 7:30 bedtime by 15/30 minutes to help her get all the sleep she needs.
Hope this helps!
R.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi P.,
As the mother of a 5 yr old son who could USE a nap everyday but hasn't really had O. since he was about 3, I would say let the nap happen--just try not to make it last too close to dinner time. I do the "quiet time" hour with my son...he stays in his room for about an hour to play or watch a movie. If she's up a little later on the nap days--no biggie. It all evens out and she knows when she's tired. On the days she doesn't nap just get her to bed earlier--yu know the drill--when they are crabby and stumbling around and whining--it's time for a bad & bed! Good luck and enjoy the naps when you can!

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P.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Let her nap when she needs to.

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N.H.

answers from Harrisburg on

I have the same problem with my almost 3 year old. I tend to nap him when he's had less sleep the night before and keep him up when he's gotten 11.5 - 12 hours sleep the night before. He does fall asleep in the car so I try not to go anywhere later in the afternoon when he doesn't get that nap.

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A.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Knowing how my daughter gets if I try to make her get up, I would just let her nap on those days she feels a need to. Yes, she's getting less sleep at night, but she's still getting the same amount of sleep when you figure in her nap. Unless you notice a difference in her attitude or behavior on the days she got less sleep the night before, I'd let her nap.

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A.L.

answers from Harrisburg on

I had a similar question for my pediatrician since my 18 month old has never been a good sleeper at daycare. A good daytime nap for her while at school is about an hour. He was never concerned however since she gets 12 hours (at least) of sleep a night. He always said the long uninterrupted sleep at night is more important than a long nap during the day since this is when they grow the most and "recharge" their batteries. He also said most kids who nap for longer periods during the day are ones who don't get as good of sleep at night.

I would just go off of your daughters cues though. If she's cranky in the morning after going to bed at 9:30 then maybe its good to skip the nap. If she's miserable if you don't let her nap when she falls asleep and is fine the next morning, let her nap. Good luck with your napping dilema!

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J.I.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I understand the concern, she obviously needs more rest, probably having lots of fun running around at the camp! I would try to approach the summer camp again, tell them your problems and concerns. How difficult can it really be to let her lay down somewhere for a bit if she needs it?

I know my neighbors have five year old twins, and they started to have this issue at about this age -- needing a nap sometimes, not others. It was a hard period of time to get through, they said.

When my boys need a nap and don't get it, by the end of the day, if they fall asleep, I will let them sleep until five pm at the latest. That doesn't seem to interfere with their sleep at night. My neighbor down the street, will do as you do, and just keep their child up and put him to bed earlier. That works for them. I think you might have to experiment to find what doesn't interfere with the nighttime sleep. On the weekends, I would make sure she has time for a really long nap if she needs it, as hard as that might be. Both my boys go to daycare, and I find that the 18 month old sometimes needs a longer nap at home on Saturday, to make up for some maybe not so great sleep during the week.

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