Hi everyone, So I'm just curious about how other families do the whole Santa thing. I grew up in a family where our parents did not do the whole Santa thing. We never believed in Santa. We had Christmas, the gifts were from our parents, as Christians they tried to emphasize the biblical story and meaning and that was it. My husband had a completely different experience with a mom who totally played up the Santa story. Now that we have children of our own (2 1/2 and 9 mo.) we are starting to discuss what we want to do and I was just wondering if there are other parents out there who aren't sure about the whole thing...how do you approach it with your kids, etc.
It seems so strange to me to concoct this whole story that isn't true about a man sneaking into our house and leaving toys...but maybe that's the realist in me and I need to just have some fun and add some "magic" for the kids?!! I know I probably sound like an old fuddy duddy about this, but we had really nice Christmases growing up and now I'm trying to figure out the best approach! Would love to hear others experiences!
We do the religious thing, Santa and family. My kids gets 2 gifts from Santa wrapped in Santa papaer..it's usually the gift I say they can not have...and the rest of the gifts from us. My oldest is 8 so in truth I only have maybe 1 year for him to "believe"..and there is worse things for him to believe in..a little magic is fun!
This is a debate that my husband and I have had for years. We too are Christians and have taught our children about the real meaning of Christmas. I on the other hand also love the whole Santa story. I think it plays on the childs imagination and adds such "magic" to the season. I love the excitement my now 6 yr old has each season. We have explained to him the reason we get gifts on Christmas, it all goes back to the first Christmas. I think if you come up with an even balance of the imaginary and the real reason for Christmas it all works out and makes for an exciting holiday season. God Bless and Merry Christmas!
St. Nicholas was a real person... that is where Santa came from, so it isn't a TOTALLY made up thing. Anyway, I think that believing in Santa and the magic of Christmas is a childhood right ;-) !! I was brought up believing in Santa and turned out just fine! In fact, looking back, I would have been sad not having that fun, exciting part of the holidays. I absolutely love the excitement and the expression on my kids faces around the holidays. However, I am Catholic and do believe we celebrate Christmas for a reason more than Santa and presents. I donate to several charities and make my kids part of it, so they learn the joy of giving as well. My kids have books about the real Christmas story and a Children's manger to play with. Christmas is a wonderful time of year full of cookie making, being with family, decorating, giving to others etc. Why not have Santa be part of it as well?... When they get to an age where they question Santa, you can tell them the truth rather than trying to keep them believing, but until then, let them enjoy.... how many thousands of kids believe in Santa when they are little and turn out just fine. I have never heard of anyone being scarred for life because they were coerced into believing in Santa and found out they were lied to!! My parents always said, "if you believe in Santa, then he is real"...when we got older my dad would end the quote by saying... "I'm real!"
Merry Christmas!
Hi L.,
There is a book I read and then later read with my now grown children. It is in with the Christmas Decor that comes out every year, just not yet sorry. It is a great book that tells the story about St. Nicholas and the origins of the Santa Claus. I'm sure you could find one at B&N. Of course the commercialism that we experience here in the US is far removed from the roots of the tradition. There are slightly different reasons and ways that Santa is celebrated all over the world. It is important that as Christians we keep Christ in Christmas. Though I feel there is something magical about the whole Santa thing. I love the memories that I have of those Christmas mornings as a child and now of my children to cherish. Let's face it who doesn't love a little magic.
Mary Lou M
a little about me I have 3 children and my youngest is just now breeching the "and who got these gifts for me" stage.
A good friend of mine told me that they have Santa bring one gift, so that their child understands that they worked really hard all year to provide all the other gifts. This might be a compromise for you & your husband.
My family growing up did Santa for Christmas, but Santa essentially brought 1 item and filled the stockings. The other gifts were from Mom & Dad. My husband and I are doing the same thing with our dtr and I think it strikes a nice balance. Merry Christmas!
The world needs more Christmas magic, not less. Santa should not be about who gets the most loot, but he does represent the spirit of giving during the holidays. He's a wonderful, gentle soul and he is never portrayed with any vices, there is not one other character you will ever see in any kid's program or anywhere in the media that is so pure.
I never felt my parents lied to me, as we got older and started to become aware that he may not be "real", they just called him the spirit of christmas. If that is too close to a religious term for you, you can say he represents Christmas magic.
Whatever you choose to do, your Christmas traditions will be remembered fondly when your kids are grown up because the holidays are about family time, and developing traditions, and celebrating, no matter how you choose to do so. It's your traditions and your family that will make it special.
Being a Santa fan, I will ask you this, does the emotional kid buried deep inside the realist-mom remember any years where you were sad or jealous that Santa came to your friends houses but not to yours? Were you a kid who was "superior" in your knowledge that the other kids thought Santa was real and you knew he wasn't? I didn't know any kids that didn't believe in Santa when I was little, there were no Jewish, Muslim, or any other non-Christian-religion families in my gradeschool until well after I knew Santa was a myth, and as far as I know all my friends believed in Santa, regardless of how devoutly religious their families were. If you do choose to forego the Santa myth, you will have an easier time of it than your parents did raising you. Now, there is far more awareness of multiple-religious beliefs; the Christmas specials seem to be on later, so the only movies my daughter (6yo) has seen are ones that we have on video; and there will be kids in their schools that don't believe either because they are Jewish or have other devout-Christian parents; but you will never escape it altogether. As for me, I'm a believer!!! I do think Santa helps bring joy, magic and wonder to the season and make it special. I would look into the historical Santa-myths and find the one that you feel most comfortable incorporating alongside your religious beliefs, then create your own traditions.
Hi L., I'm so glad you posted this because I too have a 2 1/2 year old and we were also wondering the same thing. It is magical to believe in Santa, but on the other hand, you kind of feel like you're lying to your child. It also brings up the question of whether to introduce a host of other fictional characters like the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny.
Last weekend we were at the mall and there was a Santa taking pictures with kids so I just told my daughter very simply that there's Santa and he goes to kids' houses on Christmas and gives them presents. She still talks about the Easter Bunny because we saw one at the mall around Easter, and she loved it.
Have you decided how your kids will be brought up in terms of religion? Maybe that could help answer this question too. Either way, the best thing is to do what feels right to you.
i think that it is really up to you and don't let media or other people influence your gut feelings. Since you both had very differnt holiday traditions, try mixing it up a little and incorporate both to create your own traditions. They are going to see pictues, statues, and hear songs about Santa and will want to know who and what he is...but there is no reason that you cant also emphasis the biblical stories and what is important to you and what you want to pass onto your children.
Hi L.,
I don't think letting our children believe in Santa is a bad thing in fact at 50 years old I still have wonderful memories of being a small child and being woken up in the middle of the night with a visit from Santa (my uncle dressed in a Santa Suit of course) I think that Santa is the magical part of Christmas. I can remember when my children no longer believed it was so disappointing. My husband is a volunteer firefighter and every year was Santa on the Christmas float. I can still remember the year the float came to our house with Santa. When Santa got off the float to come in for a visit my daughter looked at me and said "Mommy that's Daddy!!!" We all laughed and told her daddy was Santa's helper but she didn't buy it. I didn't know her older brother filled her in on where the present were LOL!! Those memories I will always cherish and I think it is something my children treasure as well. Real life can be a struggle sometimes so why not let children have a little fantasy while they can. Good luck in what ever you decide and Happy Holidays!!
If your husband is a "believer" in Santa and you don't have any objections to all the fun - then go for it.
If it is something that your husband grew up with then you will disappoint him by not having Santa be a part of Christmas. And you don't have to go crazy - Maybe just one gift from Santa and the rest from you. Leave cookies and milk, watch Rudolph, etc.
My best friend is Jewish and she married a Catholic man. She told me that she would never have a tree or Santa. I told her that it is not fair to take that away from her husband - really, Christmas has nothing to do with Santa - and now she really enjoys it all. Not to mention telling her daughter that if she's bad, she will be on the naughty list!!
Hi L.,
We had a wise friend who had "Santa" bring her kids one big gift. The rest were from family and friends, signs of love (that also invited thanks). So the fun of Santa is great, but doesn't detract from the spiritual and relationship sides of Christmas. It's worked so far with our 4-year-old... but there's a long road ahead!
I don;t have much to add, but I must say this is a great question and the answers are wonderful! I have the same dilemma - oddly, even though my parents (who grew up outside of the US, where in many places there is no such thing as Santa) actually repeatedly told me there was no such thing as Santa, I believed anyway. It became the running joke of the house every season, with my parents teasing me for believing and me teasing them back about not believing! It made for many happy and funny memories. That is why I also am not willing to completely give up the Santa idea. I do like the suggestions here and I think I will employ the fantasy idea and the St. Nick history that some of the other moms suggested.
