To Anyone with More than One...

Try the "To Train Up a Child" discipline book by Mike and Debi Pearle. They also have a series called "No Greater Joy" available. www.nogreaterjoy.com
The problem is not necessarily a time problem as much as a selfish, discipline and respect problem. And it is your job to train them in those things also, in addition to giving them time and understanding. I would think that with that many you would have some sort of schedule. Like kid #1 mom Monday dad Tuesday, Kid #2 mom tuesday dad Wednesday, Kid #3 mom wednesday dad thursday. etc.
you can also www.duggerfamily.com about the mom that is pregnant with her 18th baby, yes 18th and see how she handles the alone time issue. i think she schedules it, but i know the issue is on the website.
i only have 3 boys and have those problems, but find that they are less with more discipline and activities. the boys are bickering and fighting when they have to much unstructured time without an adult and then we see the same things. discipline works wonders. chores do to. and acitivities make them to tired to bicker. bike riding, gymnastics lessons, swim team. walking, mowing the yard, running with the dog, skate boarding etc.
good luck,
L.

I used to do "Mommy dates" to the movies or to see a musical ... things that I thought mine would enjoy. But, someone told me that I should ask them what we should do together just them and I. They said it means more when it is of the child's choosing. My oldest is almost 5 so her being able to paint my toenails purple was what made her day. It does seem to be more exciting to her and it is almost always something simple that only takes up 5 minutes max. I have 3 kids under 5 and it is completely doable. In regards to the plates, pull them out and put them on a rotation chart so that they know they all get a turn eventually. Good luck.

I can relate! I have four under 5y.o - My triplets are 4 1/2 and then I had another who is nearly 3. I have a difficult time doing one on one as well. Right now my 4 year old daughter has dropped naps, so she often does marketing with me if Daddy can watch while the others nap (he works from home when he is in the country - 7 out of 12 months). Now that we live in Dallas and I don't have full time help, I don't know what I'll do when my husband is away. This will be more challenging when I'm home alone. I really appreciate all the great responses you got. Great ideas ladies. Hang in there D.. You care, therefore you are a good mom! Just keep doing your best and seeking ideas :)

Well first of all I have 3 girls. And I feel like I need to say this our children should not have to earn our "one on one" time using a sticker chart. The one on one time needs to happen whether or not they have done their chores or behaved well during a set calendar. The one on one time should be given to our children regardless of chores/behavior or any thing else. I have a hard time fitting one on one time in for all my girls but I never regret taking the time off. My husband takes one girl on every errand that he goes on and they take turns so they all know that their turn is coming. You can so the same take one with you if you need to go to the grocery store or pick up someone from an activity. You could spend a few minutes every night with one of them before bed and talk then you have the opportunity to pray for that individual child before they go to sleep. Write little notes for them an put in their pants pockets. My girls love getting a note from me. If bedtime is not a good time you could wake one up for coffee/milk and muffins or donuts. Then take the opportunity to pray for the day that they have ahead of them. I hope this helps.

I have 4 girls. Here's what I do. I try to do my grocery shopping on Sat. or Sun. so I can leave 3 with my DH & take one shopping with me. Depending on their age they get to do things like mark off things on my list or put the stuff in the basket. We alternate who gets to go. It's not much, but they enjoy it. This is where they tell me things that they won't say in front of their sisters. The grocery store is where I hear all my kids fears & joys. Also, Daddy tries to take one at a time whenever he has a short trip, like picking up dinner or going to Home Depot. They enjoy it & really look forward to it.

I have three children and one on the way. It is hard to find the time for each to have special time each day. At dinner we say our five good things for the day. No one is allowed to interupt. All three take turns and a bonus is that they have learned to look at the postive side of life. This also allows them to each talk to Mom and Dad without any interuptions. We also have told them if they feel they need attention to just come and say I need some attention. This has helped alot with my five year old. When he feels he needs a little extra he'll come to me and say Mom I need my attention. I stop whatever I'm doing and sit down and we talk or hug. Whatever he needs at the time. I'm always looking for new ideas and we have changed things over time as they get older.

Hi D.,
We have 4 so I can relate.
What we do I once a month each child either with Mom or Dad ( we rotate months) Have a one on one activity. We put their date on the calendar at the beginning of the month bu they have to earn it, and they get to pick the activity.
So we do a chart with stickers and if they behave and do chores, homework etc they get a sticker at the endof the day.
When they get 10 stickers they get their date. If not then they start over. They have never not got their stickers becuse now they compete in a good way to do what you want them to do.
We have done tickets too in individual jars for each child. We make them. and we have done jars of pennies or legos too. I try to think of a different thing to accumulate each month.
It has worked great! Takesa litte coordination but well worth it. So when they are not behaving I jsut say okay I gues you donot want your own activilty this month. that is sad, I would love to spend some alone time with you, so I hope you make good choices.
Be sure you let them know what is expected of them to get the token at the end of the day or there will bemore arguments.
You wmight make a chart and copy it for each child to check off each day until theu really know what they are supposed to do.
Good Luck,
K.