Tired and Frustrated......

You are having a difficult time and you do need to see your doctor. Medication will greatly help you at this point. Counseling could help you learn a different way of thinking so that you have less stress but it will help you to start out with medication. Most doctors will prescribe an anti-anxiety medication even when they recommend counseling.

It sounds to me that you have panic attacks even without all this stress. I think that medication is a must for panic attacks. Please see your doctor.

I would like to make some suggestions about the situation but I need the ages of your children and how often they see their father before I can do some of that. I do recommend that you not even try to talk with your ex and his girlfriend. Let your attorney handle that. And I'd try having your ex pick the kids up at a neutral place so that you won't see him at all.

You also need a support system to help you. Do you have a friend that could go with you to the drs? Could you take a yoga or mediation class to learn how to relax? I think that you'd need to already be on an anti-anxiety med before you would be able to do that.

The doctor can also give you medication to control the hives. I get hives from allergies as does my grandaughter. The dr recommended an over the counter anti-histamine.

Without knowing your children's ages I can't know what would help you most. But I do say that no matter what age they are it will not hurt them for them to call her mom unless you make a big deal of it. The angry interactions that you are having with your ex and his girlfriend are probably doing more emotional damage to your children than whatever else is happening. It is important for your children's mental health that you remain as neutral as possible about their father and what he does. When we bad mouth a parent we are also bad mouthing our children. Remember he is both a biological and emotional part of them. We are also putting them in the middle asking them to choose between the two parents.

I do know that you are having a really difficult and painful time. And from your description I believe that a great deal of this is caused by an anxiety and/or panic disorder over which you have no control at this time. You can regain control with medication and be much better able to handle this extremely stressful situation. If your doctor doesn't recognize this change drs. But I think that it's highly likely that he will understand and give you the medication you need.
Have a friend help you get the appointment and get you out of the house so that you can begin the healing process.

I'm with you! Write again if you want. M.

Hi, Honey Pills aren't just going to solve the problem, belive me I've been on just about every anti depressant out there... something to relive anxiety might help a little but you NEED to see a doctor about this... and you have a right to say anything you want about your kids... if she is not married to him they don't HAVE to call her mom and you have a right to be upset about it. You should try talking to your lawyer about it because it's not right, unless they get maried she has no right to your kids. If you are a Christian you might want to meantion that you're uncomfortable with your ex's current "live-in" situation and you don't want your kids growing up thinking it's ok to just live with someone and not be maried to them to you lawyer and ask him to bring it up in court as part of your case for custody. Good Luck

Hi L.. You know, I started having these horrible attacks of depression right after my son was born. My best friend, my nana, died while I was like 7 months pregnant. I was lonely and scared and tired and mad and urrrrhhhh!!! I went to my doctor and told him my anger and depression was getting the worst of me. And I also told him, straight up, that I did not want to see a shrink, I didn't have time. So he gave me paxil. My life is still stressed out at times, and I'm taking the lowest dosage I can....but I do not feel the way I used too. And, I am not ashamed that I had to get medication. You just need to stop being ashamed (hello!! this could make your life better...and this is a common problem...there is nothing wrong with wanting some relief and at least your trying to do it a legal way that is not going to hurt your family). You arew a good parent who obviously loves your family. Get your perscription and see how it works for you. Godd Luck!!! Best Wishes , T.......w/b and let us know how this works out..

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go to your doctor!! You need a little hepl to get you thru this and thats what all these drugs are for. You will not be looked at like a pill popper, you just need some help, I KNOW, I am still on Zoloft for about 6 months now. I am going thru a SLOW separation (I still live with my sons father) and I needed something to help me stop crying,. My doctor totally understood (Dr. Abate at the medical cener on Alhambra) and zoloft really is helping me. I dont cry anymore and I can think straight again.

I realize a battle like this can be frustrating, but perhaps a little change of perspective? Perhaps remembering "accept the things I cannot change...wisdom to know the difference" is in order here, to help you get a handle on some of this?

Is the girlfriend a B*tch for insisting your kids call her mom? Sure. absolutely. The nerve of that woman is disgusting. Even if she gets MARRIED to the guy, I don't think it is appropriate to request that.

Does that change the fact that YOU are their mom, and always will be?

No.

I've got a mom, a step mom, and a mother-in-law. I got "Moms" coming out my ears!!! I spend most of "mother's day" driving around town pleasing them all. They are all worth it, and honestly they have all earned the respect, but the power plays between them can sometimes be a drag. Talk about guilt. (and resentment over feeling guilt.) and frustration. Heaven forbid my stepmom's bouquet might have cost less than the others--it was still a beautiful arrangement, with her favorite flower--what's the @#*%!!? (see my problem here?? Let these petty details GO.... or they'll drive you crazy, regardless of the outcome of your custody battle.)

Look--regardless of what I call them, regardless of who I lived with then, or now...

I know who my mommy is...
She loves me, and I love her. She's my MOM!!! Nothing changes that.

Breath deep, and trust that bond.

I don't really have any advice about your stress other than it it is affecting you so much maybe you should see a doctor. Maybe you just need to learn to handle your stress better. Is there some small activity you can do when you are feeling stressed to help you calm down? As for the girlfriend making the kids call her mom, that's wrong. And I would make sure your kids understand that they do not have to call her mom.