Tips on Getting Rid of the Bottle.

Updated on November 05, 2008
R.G. asks from Huntington Beach, CA
19 answers

Hi I was wondering if anyone can give us some hints or tips on getting our almost 15 month old toddler off his nighttime bottle. He is really attached to it. All the professionals say to get him off the bottle at 14 months so we are trying do it but are struggling. We got him using a cup with a straw. Which he uses all day long. Really does not like milk out of them. So mostly water, but we keep trying the milk. We have slowly taken all the bottles away and binkie since he was one but have not done the night time one yet. He still cries for his bottles during the day and signs to me that he wants them. But I dont cave in, I give him his sippy cup instead. He also cries at night when his bottle ends.

Now a little background which might have something to do with it. He is a foster child we are trying to adopt. He has to go to 2 court ordered visit with his bio mom a week for 2 hours. He has no relationship with her other than having to spend these 2 hours/2x a week with her. I was told he cries most of the time during their visit.

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G.R.

answers from San Diego on

Because he is a foster child I would not try and follow all of the recomended take aways as closely as the doctor says. I am familiar with some emotional and mental issues with children in the system. It is good you are working on moving him to the next develpomental stage but try and let him go at his own rate. I promise you he won't go to kinder with a bottle. Even though he is a baby he maybe be struggling with some emotional stuff and things like bottles, pacis and blankies provide comfort on a level adults may not be conscious of. If he is only having one bottle at night, that isn't to bad.

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Gradually dilute the milk bottle with water. Adding an extra ounce of water every couple days should do the trick. It is a good idea to get him off sooner rather than later since the milk at night can start to damage his new teeth. If need be, let it go for a month and try again a few weeks later. Introduce a new comfort item at bedtime that he can use instead of the bottle. A consistant bedtime routine will help too. I've also heard of people adding lemon juice or vineagar to the milk in a bottle to change the taste and make the child not want it. Good luck.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Most Pediatricians say this is when to get rid of the bottle.
BUT, in reality, it does not happen this way... MOST Moms do not get rid of it that fast... or they don't mind if their child "still" has a bottle at 15 months old.

It's really up to you when and if you want to take it away. Just because the Pediatrician says this...does NOT mean you have to. It's just a guideline. If we all did what the Doctor says verbatim...then all kids would be on the same page. But, as Moms, we all go according to our own instincts as well. It's okay.

MOST all children WILL cry for the bottle...it is because a "bottle" is where milk comes from....like a breast. THUS, they have a hard time "weaning" from it. Getting rid of a bottle is just like weaning from a breast....it has a "nipple" AND there is milk in it. It is an instinctual thing, for any child or baby.

My son, when sleeping, likes to have a bottle with him sometimes....even if it's empty, and he just likes to hold it and the nipple while he sleeps. This is called "twiddling."

There is a difference between a night-time bottle (in the bed with the child), and a night-time bottle "before" bed.

Really though, I see no reason why has "has to" get rid of his night-time bottle yet. He is obviously still needing it... and perhaps just at naps/bed, it's okay. I really don't think it's a big deal for him to have them. Just my opinion.

Bear in mind, that this is very common and normal. Actually, LOTS of toddlers are about 2+ years old when "weaned" from the bottle too...in fact, amongst other Moms, I have found that this is the "real life" age in which a bottle is taken away.In other cultures, the time-line for "bottle weaning" varies as well.

You need to go according to your baby... babies need a way to "soothe". Some don't believe in that, but I do.

You will get many opinions here...just do as you feel is best for baby.
all the best,
Susan

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S.O.

answers from San Diego on

I know that all the "experts" say stuff. And for good reason. BUT they do not know YOUR child. So I always take what everyone else says with a grain of salt. If it will work for us, then we do it. If it doesn't work for us, we don't do it.

My son was adopted at 3 weeks. He is now 3.5 years old. He was always a paci sucker and still is. If we let him he would have the paci in his mouth 24/7. When we first got him, I read all the books and listened to all the experts who said we needed to get rid of the paci by 6 months, 1 year, etc. The bottom line is, if that's what gives him comfort, let him have it. We've tried taking the paci from him and letting the "Paci Angels" take his paci's to other little baby boys. Then a song came on the radio that says "He gives and takes away" and my son immediately said angrily that God took away his paci's and that he was mad at God. So the paci's came back. And given our sons personality...when he is ready to let it go, he will. Just like potty training....we started at 16 months, then dropped it for a few months and started back up at age 2. Then at age 3 something clicked and overnight he was potty trained.

So now with our daughter who is 18 months. She is a thumb sucker....how in the world will I take that away???? And she still loves her bottle. She will drink from all sorts of cups and water bottles during the day. But she will only take milk from her baba. She drinks a baba in the morning and one right before bed. And if she gets up in the middle of the night, she will only take her baba of milk.

With both kids we tried all the "advice" for substituting one form of comfort for another. And with both kids, they just need their paci or their thumb and baba. Given the whole picture of life....I don't think stressing about a bottle at night is that big of a deal, KWIM? If it gives your son comfort and let's you keep your sanity...go for it. When he is ready, he will let go of the paci and bottle.

And given your son's situation...he needs all the comfort he can get. Even though these little guys are so young, they understand that things are happening and they go through the same stresses that we do. Poor thing must be so confused when you drop him off for his visits with his birthmom.....:(.

Just go with what your gut is telling you to do, even if that means ignoring what others are telling you.

Think about this:

Does your son self soothe himself to sleep if he has his paci or after he gets his bottle? Both of my kids fall asleep on their own and sleep through the night. My daughter sucks her thumb and will talk to herself for a little while and then fall asleep on her own. My son will pop his paci in his mouth, play with his toys in his bed for a little while and will fall asleep on his own. We do the whole bedtime routine...rocking, singing, reading books, etc. then they fall asleep on their own.

But if you are forcing them to be without what they use for comfort (bottles, thumb and paci are the only things my kids use for self comfort), it's like taking away whatever comforts you when you are stressed or tired.

I personally would rather have my kids be able to have some independence and self soothing techniques of their own instead of me constantly having to be the one to soothe them to sleep.

But that's my opinion.

Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

our daughter is adopted and came to us as a foster child at 5 1/2 months. She was never breastfed, and we figured that her need for the bottle was more about comfort and bonding than food.

Hence, long past when other kids were off the bottle, she was not, although just at bedtime. I was worried about her teeth, so we would let have her bottle, and THEN brush her teeth and go to bed for real. She really did revert to a complete "ahhh" state while sucking those 3 or 4 ounces down!

I think while your soon-to-be-son (have faith - I am sending best thoughts out for you) is going through all sorts of change and angst, the bottle is probably a huge comfort, as is the fact that you are holding him and cuddling him whilst he's having it.

Don't sweat this one - maybe just introduce teeth cleaning afterwards if it continues past your comfort zone.

again, my very best thoughts for you as you do the fost-adopt journey. We had an amazingly good journey with caring, wonderful (albeit overworked and underpaid) dcfs workers. It is a ture privilege to be one of their success stories. I am betting that you too will be one of their happy endings.
A.

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K.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi Renee, this poor little guy has already been through alot. don't worry about keeping that last bottle for now. When he is 2 or 2.5 you can explain to him that another little baby needs a bottle and you can wrap it up with him and give it as a present to someone you know with a baby. Tell him he is a big boy and get him his own special cup. I like the Nuby cup because the spout is most like a nipple. This method worked for my son who loved his Ba Bas! He will recover much faster than you think. You anticipate the worst but it is almost always easier than you think it's going to be.

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A.C.

answers from Las Vegas on

Renee,
I'm inclined to say forget what the doctors say. Some little ones need some soothing assuredness, and your little one seems to be one of those, especially as he is in an intesively emotional situation. Any little one who has to endure a situation in which he is torn between moms, especially if the biological mom is less than the best, needs some physical assurance of sameness. For now, I'd let him have at least the binky, and probably a night time bottle. The poor little one needs some serious comfort, and the bottle and binky give him comfort and security in difficult times. He will become more secure, and the bottle will go. I'd give him a month or six before forcing him to lose the one thing that gives him security.

Does your little one have a favorite blanket, toy, or other comfort that could slowly take the place of the bottle? Try a soft blanket or stuffed animal to give him comfort, a lovey for times when he needs special comfort, rather than the bottle. Still, he is young, don't stress him more in an already stressful situation!

I am a mom of 5 children, all nursed for more than a year, and a grandmother of 4 little ones. My oldest grandson is currently living in our home. He, too, has comfort issues for us to deal with.

A.
Living Healthy Lives at Home
http://www.WomensDreamTeam.com/Angel

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C.Y.

answers from Honolulu on

Most Dr.s say babies should be off the bottle at age one, but some little people seem to need it longer than that...especially ones that have been traumatized at birth or infancy. I decided that our daughter, whose birth mother died 6 minutes after they took baby by emergency C-section, could have it, at home only, for as long as she wanted it, but definitely had to be done before pre-school, which I planned to send her at age 3. When her third birthday was drawing near I sat her down for a mother-daughter talk. We went over our previous discussions about "bobby" being done by age 3. Her Uncle, whom she was fond of, was going to the Big Island and would return about 1 week after her birthday. She promised that when he came back she would do it. On the appointed day we packed up all the bottles in the house (except the one I put aside for emergency) and SHE threw them down into the trash chute with just a little help from me. A couple of days later she asked for a bobby and I reminded her of what she had done with her bottles. She was okay with it then. She never asked for one again although sometimes she would reminisce about how having one was so good. A couple of years later at about 5 or 6 she thanked me for waiting until she had been ready because she had derived such comfort from it. I decided it was time to be rid of the one bottle I had kept, but she agreed and asked that she have it with warmed milk in it just one more time.
When she was done, she rushed to the trash and sent it down the chute. She was totally done. then. I think the pediatrician thought it was okay under special circumstances.If your baby has had emotionally upsetting circumstances to deal with as a baby, perhaps it would be better to address your baby's needs than what the book says.They are so vulnerable, why take away the comfort he derives from the bottle? Something to think about. Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

RG I am going throught the exact thing you are, however my foster baby boy who is 14 by court order has to see his grandmother and paternal family for a full weekend and on Wednesdays so I am having a hard time maintaining my routine with the baby because he comees back so disoriented and confused. I am so glad to read other responses, they have helped me as well with the bottle question, because my baby boy who is almost 14 months refuses to eat even though he has six teeth and his molars coming in. My doctor said just pull back on the bottle and hope that in a state of hunger he will actually try the food. I hope to adopt my little angel.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi R G,
I know the doctors say do to certain things by a certain age but those are only general guidelines and they don't apply to all babies. You have to also take into consideration your baby and his personality. Every doctor says you have to swaddle your baby when they are born. My son HATED swaddling - we did it once and then never again. Giving up a bottle is not a health issue so there is nothing wrong with waiting.

You should think about your son's situation and his feelings before taking away his bottle at night. He may need that bottle for comfort. He is only 15 months old. There is nothing wrong with a 15 month old (or a 2 year old) having a bottle at night if it helps him relax. And he is telling you he wants it so you know how he feels. Why not wait a few months and try again - he may be more receptive to giving up the bottle when he is closer to 2 years old. Because he is a foster child, he also may need a little more comfort and reassuring. He's too young to understand the situation he's in but he does know that his bottle makes him feel good. I've seen 2 and 3 year olds with bottles (not ideal but really there is no harm). You son won't be taking his bottle to college. At least let him wait until he's 2.

I hope this helps. Good luck with everything!

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H.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Congratulations on your foster baby! We picked up our baby boy in July from foster care:) If it makes you feel better our biological daughter didn't completely wean off the bottle until she was over three and her teeth are fine. Doctors always err on the side of caution so personally I wouldn't worry about it. Give him the bottle if it gives him comfort. I'm sure he'll be fine.:)

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L.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would let the little guy have his bottle. No one is going to see or tease him about it. As long as he has some water afterwards it shouldn't hurt his teeth. I just took mine of a few months after two. Don't worry, he won't be going to college with a bottle.

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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Amazing Mommy advice, so I just wanted to add...my son did not get off the bottle until about 18 to 19 months old, and he kind of did it by himself. We still do a cup of milk at night before bed, so in a sense we just replaced one for the other and we keep a cup of water by the bed for him at night.

In my opinion, I agree with all the other Mommies who said to just let him be for now. Over time our kids start to display independence, and they make choices based on their needs. My son started to ask for his cup during the day at around 15 months, but still had his nighttime bottle for another four or five months. It was his routine, and I just guided it along and made sure his needs were met.

Best of luck with your little one and your situation! My heart goes out to you.

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J.C.

answers from San Diego on

Being that he is going through a hard time with his personal life, I would in no way pressure him to give up the bottle. He is living with you and trying to have a good life then has visits with his mom which confuse him, especially if she did not attach or bond with him, he will cry during the visit. Just love him as much as you can while you have him and keep trying to adopt him. It will not be detrimental to have a bottle a few more weeks or months...If I remember correctly, my child was about 18 months when he totally gave up bottles. Also, boys are slower in some areas than girls are. Best of luck in your situation.

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M.M.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Ah, you're living my life right now :) We have a 14 month old that we haven't been able to get rid of his bottle before his lunch nap and bedtime and we just FINALLY got him to drink cold milk from a cup with a straw. He does love his Born-Free sippy cups (juice (diluated) and water) and Frogo sippy but refused to drink milk, cold or warm, out of them. We've been trying all different types of sippy cups for the last month and he finally took to the cup with the straw.

My sugguestions are to 1) try a bunch of different brands of sippy cups to encourage him to drink from them more during the day. Try milk in them first, the switch to water/juice, and 2) don't sweat the bottles for a few more months. Get him happier using a sippy cup for most of the rest of the time, and then work on weaning him off the bottle. It'll happen in time! Good luck and kudos on being open to giving a sweet kid a home :)

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

try the soft nippe cups (nuby brand) thats how i got my daughter off the cup at 7 months. she drank from a cup at 7 months and 3 days later no more bottle! she was very easy though. im not sure if the visits affect this process or not but it could. if you get him to drink out of a soft spout cup at night then just take the bottle away all together dont even look back. thats what i did with my daughter i tried the cup with her nap she took it then i tried it for bed and that was it no more bottles. good luck with the adoption!

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M.H.

answers from San Diego on

Hi Renee. What a wonderful thing you are doing adopting this little boy! My brother was adopted and I can not imagine our family without him. About the bottle...I would stop worrying about it. I am a mother of three little boys and both my older ones gave up their nightime bottle around 18 months without any major problems. I tried around a year (based on recommendations from professionals and other mothers) and they just weren't ready. If it brings him comfort and helps him to settle into a good night's rest, I just don't see any harm in it. Through my parenting journey I have learned that sometimes it's best to go with your instincts rather than worry about all of the expert advice. You know your child, and it sounds like he's been through a lot. If he still wants that bottle at night, I say let him have it at least for a while longer. Good luck!

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C.W.

answers from Reno on

not to sound mean. the best way is to get rid of all baby bottles. there all be crying for about two to thre days or a week but don't cave. Offer drinks frequently through out the day work. you'll have deal with the crying by giving reassuracne. offer the drink before bedtime not when in bed. what every you do don't give the bottle back.

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi Renee, First of all, it takes a great heart to want to adopt someone elses child, he's blessed to have you. as far as the bottle goes just remove it, you will probably have a few rough nights, since it is a night time bottle, honestly sweetie is the worst, it's bad for their teeth and ears, if the bottle is comfort to him, given what is goin on in his life, find other ways to comfort him, maybe rock and sing to him. before bed time, fish aquariums in babie/childrens room work great, all 3 of my kids had aquriums. Good luck on your adoption, we have may people in my church who have done over seas adoptions mostly China and Romanea. J. L.

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