Tips for Toddler Ring Bearer?

LOL - when my daughter was about 26 months, my SIL got married and wanted her and her hubby's niece to be ring bearer, but the other little girl thought she was supposed to be a "ring bear" and was very upset that she would have to wear a costume. My SIL ended up getting little bears to tie the rings to instead of a pillow.
20 months is a little young to do this on his own, I think. That aisle will look pretty big and intimidating. Is there anyone who could do it with him? It's not traditional, but could he walk down the aisle with his mom or right in front of her?
Rehearse multiple times with him as well. If I think of anything else, I will edit.

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First, consider whether or not this is really a good idea. Honestly, some of the best advice I got on this topic came from my photographer... we dress little ones up in really uncomfortable clothing, adjust their schedule to meet our schedule for the day, have them "do stuff" without breaks and rewards and then expect them to be "good" for 6 hours- just not going to happen!

If you really feel like he needs to be in the wedding, have him walk with his mother. You don't need to follow "protocol" here- just have them hold hands and walk down together.

But... really really really think about this one. You will need your sister's support on that day and her attention will be divided and weighted towards her son if he's there.

Have the flower girls pull him in a decorated wagon?

MY mother-in-law stood at the front with a big stuffed animal and that got my son and his cousin moving. However, my niece went up on the altar and pretty much sat in her aunt's lap for the ceremony. It was cute but maybe not to everyone.

At my brother's wedding, the flower girl flipped out just before the ceremony and my son only made it down the aisle because his big brother put his arm around him and basically moved him to the front. Again, it turned out ok for the boys, not so much for the girl.

Last summer, my cousin got married outside. The flower girl did a great job but then took off running at the front. Her mom took off after her and caught her and then had to do a reading. It was a casual wedding and funny although maybe not at that moment to the mom.

Don't forget to figure in nap time. Be flexible - no real rings. And have fun. Congrats!

If you want to insure your ring bearer makes it down the aisle w/out crying or running off, you will need to ask someone a bit older. Otherwise, it is anyone's guess what will happen...very unpredictable.

If you are really set on having him, maybe you could have a second one (older walk) walk with him. You could also have the flower girl walk with him. Or decorate a wagon and let someone pull him down the aisle.

I was in my sister's wedding last October and my son 19 month old son was a ring bearer. He is more of a shy/reserved type of kid and we knew that there was no way he would walk by himself. So he just walked with me down the aisle. My other sister was a bride's maid as well and her 3 year old daughter (flower girl) and 2 year old son (other ring bearer) walked with her also. It made for some adorable pictures. The kids stayed with us up at the alter and did pretty well. I say have him walk with his mom and stand with her. Good luck and congrats!

Practice and prayer-and frankly, it's church-not Hollywood-whatever he does, it will be adorable and memorable and to the best of his ability. Best Wishes!

My niece was supposed to be the flower girl in our wedding - she was 2 1/2 at the time. All through the rehearsal she was great, but on the day of the wedding I think all the people freaked her out and there was NO WAY she was walking down that aisle! My sister-in-law (her mom) was in the wedding party, so she just carried her down the aisle and then let her sit with Grandma and Grandpa in the front row. Like others have said, be prepared for it to NOT go as you'd like it to!!

Honestly, I think you have very good intentions but 20 months is just too young. Why not ask someone else and have this little guy still wear the suit and stuff but be an honorary ring bearer. It would be a load off his mom's mind. He'll more than likely want her and then she'll have to be managing him, maybe even fighting with him and trying not to interfere with your vows. It can go from cute to ruining the day in a second.

If you decide to go ahead then please have a seat reserved for the mom and boy on the front row so they can excuse themselves and sit down if he gets too rambunctious or have his best friend and their family sit up front then he'll feel like sitting with them. There is no way a 20 month old child is going to stand still for even 2 minutes.

If you are going to have him as your ring bearer, please be prepared for the unexpected, like him running screaming down the aisle or refusing to do it at all. With our nephew who was almost 5, we had his grandparents up in one of the first aisles at the end and they "caught" him as he got up there and had him sit with them. Good luck. Kids are unpredictable.

My nephew was barely two when he was in our wedding a few years ago. His sister was one of the flower girls so he just hung back with her and the coordinator and they sent them down the aisle. Honestly, he walked down the aisle with a Twizzler in hand. As ridiculous as that sounds, it was the cutest thing ever. There are pictures of him in his little tux clutching to it for dear life as he walked down the aisle. I wouldn't worry about it too much. I am sure he will do fine.

I should also say that my nephew did wonderfully. My flower girls dropped small pages of books with love poems on them in lieu of flowers. He walked down the aisle perfectly being careful to step around the pieces of paper on his way down. On the way out, it was the exact opposite - he followed the paper trail and tried to step on every piece of paper he could. Both my brother and sister-in-law were in the wedding so he stood with my brother and didn't run off or throw a tantrum or anything like that. Our ceremony from start to finish was only about 20 minutes long and there wasn't one outburst or anything.

It will actually be BETTER that his mom will be waiting up front! Best chance of him actually walking the aisle. I'd ask him. Don't worry. Just line up someone else to be watching over him and helping him out. (Especially since his mother will be taking pics and doing other things that may not include him.) Perhaps, offer to hire a girl to "babysit" him from the time they are supposed to be at church till the reception starts???

We were not planning to have any kids in our wedding but my niece asked to be the flower girl so we let her. She was so excited to do it -- until it was time to walk down the aisle. Her father was one of the groomsmen so she walked down the aisle with him and it looked like it was planned that way. Is it possible that he could walk down the aisle with his mother as part of the procession? Could a grandparent send him down the aisle to meet his mom at the other end? Are you planning to have a flower girl as well that could hold his hand and walk him down the aisle? Just some thoughts -- I hope it all goes well.
(One other thought -- you might not want him to carry the real rings so they don't get lost/eaten/etc.) Good luck!

Can he walk down the aisle with the flower girl? Or maybe an honored older relative, like your Grandma, or a Great-Aunt would like to hold his hand and help him. They can go sit in the front row once they get to the altar.

I do Special events and here are some of my regular suggestions..
You can want him to be the ring bearer, but if at the event he is not up to it, do not force him. He can just walk up with his grandmother and sit with her.

I agree having his mother actually hold his hand as she walks up the aisle as the made of honor is smart. He can then sit with his grandparents or sit at his mothers feet during the ceremony.

Do NOT allow him to carry the actual rings.. ever.. You can place some fake rings on the pillow or in a box.. Expect them to be lost by the end of the ceremony..

Depending on the time of the ceremony, try to keep his regular schedule.. meals, play time, snacks and naps.. If he get off his schedule just be prepared. Not a big deal.. Have a snack at the church with hiis grandparents..

My husbands half brother was about the same age when he was our ring bearer. I had my cousin, who was a few years older, be the flower girl. I wanted to have two flower girls to help guide him down the aisle, but that didn't work out. My MIL was kneeling down at the end of the aisle to encourage him to keep walking. Can you have another member of your family who he is close to be at the end of the aisle to help encourage him down? Maybe even have two people, one in the pews halfway down and then someone else at the end of the aisle. I just kept reminding myself that if things went wrong it was no big deal, he did make it down the aisle, but I just prepared myself for mistakes to happen.

Have your mother or someone else he knows "send" him down the aisle and have mom meet him at the end. She should just sit in the church with the regular guests as things get started. Then she can circle back around and make the formal walk down the aisle when it's her turn.