Tips for Getting Through Second Pregnancy While Caring for My One Year Old

Updated on August 02, 2011
L.F. asks from Dallas, TX
11 answers

With my first pregnancy I was only taking care of me, myself, and I (my DH is pretty self sufficient) and I was the biggest WHINER you've ever met. So now that I have a one year old, I'm going to have to suck it up. Please share your wisdom for taking care of other children while being extremely sick for the first trimester.

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So What Happened?

Thank you, Mommies, for your wisdom and your empathy. I am jealous of the women who don't have sickness with their pregnancies. With my first I was sick from week 5 to week 17. I know pregnancies differ but so far this one has been exactly the same as far as sickness, cravings, etc... I'm sure there are worse things than feeling like you have a stomach virus for 3 months straight but I can't think of what they would be at this time! I will heed your advice and let the house go. Right now we're taking life in 30 minute increments (about the length of one Raffi CD).

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answers from Denver on

Just take it day by day.... you will get through. And not to scare you, but the real fun begins when #2 is born!!! Congratulations : )

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answers from Dallas on

plan as much as possible. When you feel ok, do as much as you can to preportion snacks and meals, do laundry, etc. That way you dont get so behind on those days when you just don't feel good. When your 1 yr old sleeps, drop whatever you are doing and sleep. Rely on family and friends for help.

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answers from Dallas on

You can do it. It may not be pretty, but you will do it.

My children are 20 months apart and my son is the oldest and VERY active. Even with a helpful husband, I was sick my entire pregnancy.

My husband baby proofed the back yard and we set up a sand box and some other toys. I could sit and watch my son play in the back yard and not worry about him climbing, breaking, destroying things.

I started letting my son watch TV which would keep him still for 20 minutes or so.

Give up on all but the most essential housekeeping - my husband did everything related to the kitchen, but if he hadnt, we would have gone to take out and paper plates.

Impose on other people. See if you can drop your toddler off with a friend or relative for a couple of hours while you catch up on sleep.

And just think, in less than 9 months from now, you will have a newborn! No more morning sickness... :)

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answers from Los Angeles on

I was stuck on bedrest off and on with half of my second pregnancy. So i can imagine being sick and needing to lay down is simular...

Having a cooler or small refrigerator next to the couch/bed you're going to be on most of the day is a definite plus. Keep it stocked with cold water/sodas/ect as well as other noshings so you aren't having to get up.

Toys toys and other entertainment for the little one. I eventually ended up giving up on the no tv rule for our 2yo. But we watched a lot of "educational tv" and Blue's clues.

Best of luck, hope the morning sickness goes away soon and doesn't last!

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answers from Honolulu on

1) You get help whenever you can or need to. And you ask for it. From whomever you can rely on. Including your Husband. Your Husband, should be helping.

2) You rest when the other child naps.

3) You have a DAILY routine and schedule, for yourself/your older child/ and baby. THAT way, you will be more organized and it will be less stresful.

4) You, have, a NAP routine, daily for the new baby and older child. Sure, an infant will not have a nap schedule... for a few months. Because you also have to nurse on-demand and infants are too young for 'schedules.' BUT know your infant's cues, and need for naps. And put baby to nap. When needed.

5) I had bad morning sickness and migraines, with both my pregnancies. I got Acupuncture. And this got rid of it. This was per my OB/GYN's suggestion.

6) You do, just have to suck it up. You will have 2 kids.
PRIOR to the new baby coming home, you AND Husband, have to sit down and ORGANIZE yourselves. ie: make a LIST.... for each of you, and what you will be responsible for. In other words, with 2 kids, you should not be doing EVERYTHING. Your HUSBAND, should be stepping up too.
A Man, can do anything a Wife/Woman does, except, breastfeed.

7) NOW, have your Husband, help in the routines/bedtime routines with your Eldest child. So that HE will know how to do these things. THEN, once you bring the new baby home, your HUSBAND, should be helping with the eldest child.... because you will be on-call constantly with the infant.
DESIGNATE, this, with your Husband.
He is not, child free.
You both, have children.
So he has to, help.

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answers from Dallas on

My biggest piece of advice: when you make food, serve what you need/want and immediately box up the rest for lunches/dinners. Freeze them or save them for when you need them. Even now, I don't always get enough food or liquid in a day. I've been known just to finish off the older baby's plate as I take it to the sink just to get "lunch" in.

So ANY amount of food that you have ready to go for yourself will save your butt. As much as possible, try to make doubles or even triples of your dishes and freeze them. Again, that night that you're unbelievably tired, you'll love yourself for having done that. Or the food might last until the baby is born and you'll REALLY love yourself for it then.

We also started buying individual sized versions of her favorite snacks. Like the yogurt cups instead of the big jar. That way I didn't have to smell the food while I prepared it. Just open and serve.

Take naps when the baby does. Or nap with your kiddo. I got to a point in the third trimester where I had to stop worrying whether she was completely tired. I was so wiped out. I'd drop her into her crib and put a pillow over my head and just sleep.

Most of all: Cuddle your baby, love your baby, and try not to worry that your baby will think you've abandoned him or her when the new one comes along. I had some serious guilt for a while during my pregnancy over that last point, but you know what? My girls are nuts about each other. When the older one wakes up from her nap she will not go play until she's checked on her sleeping sister. It's amazing.

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answers from Sacramento on

You just do it! You do what you can, you rest when you can, you leave the dishes til' later if you have to - you just do it.

Sounds like you are going to have to put your "big girl panties" on this time! LOL don't worry, it's not so bad! : )

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answers from Dallas on

NO FUN! I don't know how I survived the morning sickness phase. It gets so severe that I feel like I am doing my best just to survive the day and take care of myself. Then add onto it a child to take care of (or four children, like this time!), and it becomes overwhelming/nightmarish. I know that might sound dramatic to some, but for those of us who get severe morning sickness, I think you can relate!

First, for you, try to lessen the morning sickness. Eat a LOT of protein and eat VERY LITTLE carbs. I craved carbs, so it was hard to eat protein. I had to force myself to eat protein. But once I got it in, I felt a little better. If I gave in to my cravings and ate carbs, I felt so much worse.

Also, have you heard of Sea Bands? You should look them up on Amazon. These are tremendously helpful. They help with nausea. They really worked for me. I still threw up some times, but they did help.

Now to your son, nap when he naps:-) Have some fun toys he can play with and you can lay on the ground or something. hehe. We have a playroom, so I'd go in there and lay around while the kids played. I tried to be there for them as much as I could, but it wasn't nearly like normal. It was a huge challenge.

Sadly you don't really get to act the way you feel. You have to get up and take care of the kiddo. Make sure hubby helps as much as possible with EVERYTHING while you go through this phase. My husband helped with the kitchen, laundry, cleaning, feeding, baths, etc. We used paper plates, cups, help keep cleaning under control.

My morning sickness seems a bit more severe than many women, but there are plenty of women who have it as severe as me...and it sounds like you are one of them. To me, it's a nightmare type of situation. I really struggled with the morning sickness with this current pregnant (#5). My baby was only six months old, and it was quite the experience...a very difficult one.

I hope it passes quickly for you. I am so sorry you get so sick. You are not whiny. It's hard to feel awful and take care of a baby at the same time!

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answers from Phoenix on

I had a lot of help. My son was 10 months old when I got pregnant with my daughter. I had hyperemesis and was on home IV's and hospitalized at 8 weeks because of severe morning sickness. I had people come and help me with the baby and with my chores. I had people bring my husband meals. We were living at a bible school so I had plenty of friends around to help us. With my other kids (I have 5 kids), I rested as much as I could, and took one hour at a time. Good luck and congratulations!!

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answers from San Diego on

Use friends or family if you can. They will be happy to help!

Ask DH to do a little more around the house where he is able b/c you are human and can't do it all right now.

I wasn't sick, but was very tired, so I kept a stool in the kitchen to sit while preparing food. I also used a stool at my vanity to rest while doing my hair/face in the mornings. I got tired from standing in the shower, but if I sat for breakfast after my shower, my body could recover before my day--so try changing the order of things in your day where you can.

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answers from Detroit on

First of all you are going to have be patient with yourself. It is rough taking care of yourself and a toddler while sick. Just let some things go! Sometimes my toddler and I would just lay across the couch and read stories together. Meal were very simple and effortless. I took naps when she took naps. I would have people watch her sometimes also so that I could have a break. I am not a big fan of TV, but I would allow her to watch TV, too. Hang in there...this too shall pass!

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