Time to See a Fertility Specialist?

Updated on May 28, 2011
A.D. asks from Mount Laurel, NJ
15 answers

I had an early miscarriage/chemical pregnancy last September, and we started TTC again in November. I've been charting most months, and have a very regular cycle; we've also been using ovulation predictor sticks. My husband has no fertility issues. So my question is, should I see a specialist or wait the full year? My regular OB-GYN told me to "just relax." I'll be 35 in a few months, and now that I've passed what would have been my due date (had the chemical pregnancy been successful) I'm starting to get a little worried/sad. More background: I got pregnant the first month we charted with my son, and when I had the chemical in Sept. it was also our first month of trying. My cycle is a little shorter than it was before having my little boy (26-27 days) and my temps are on the low side (rarely go above 97.8 or so). I guess my concern is that I have some sort of hormone imbalance, and I'll either continue to have trouble getting pregnant or will have another miscarriage if I do.

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So What Happened?

So after reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility, I got pregnant that month. Unfortunately I just lost that pregnancy as well. We are definitely going to see a fertility specialist before we try again. I don't think I could handle a third loss. I will say, I wish I'd gone with my gut and gone to see the specialist earlier. I strongly believe that women have a good sense of what's going on with their bodies, even if you can't say exactly what. I had a very strong feeling that something just wasn't right. I know that having two miscarriages isn't all that uncommon, but if tests are available I don't see any reason to not take advantage of them. Hopefully I'll have better news in the future.

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answers from Chicago on

Yep - go for it. You may wish to see a reproductive endocrinologist, especially if you think you have a hormonal imbalance.

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answers from Charleston on

I wouldn't wait. It only causes more anxiety in my opinion. I conceived through IUI with my 2nd child after waiting 3 years. I doesn't hurt to go get a consultation to see what their plan would entail for your case. Good luck!

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answers from Salt Lake City on

Don't wait, especially if you have good insurance.

At 35, I was classified as "advanced maternal age." Sheesh.

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answers from Dallas on

At 35, your egg quality is taking a huge nosedive. Your OB/GYN should surely know this. Grrrr....

Book an appt. with a fertility specialist now.

Good luck and prayers for success!

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answers from San Antonio on

I would book the appt for at least a consultation. As a mom of two beautiful medical miracles (IVF) I know how hard it can be to go through the process. A consultation may give you options/peace of mind that your current OB-GYN isn't able to give.

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answers from Norfolk on

I wouldn't wait.
Go see a specialist now.
How do you know your husband has no issues?
Just because he hasn't had any in the past doesn't mean he's issue free now.
If he's checked out (and a fertility specialist will check him anyway because Dad is half the equation) you'll know for sure.
In my and my husbands case, we'd been trying for 4 years and heard 'just relax' so many times it wasn't funny.
They were wrong.
When we went to the specialist, we found we had multiple difficulties to overcome, but we were successful in having our son.
It turns out we truly can not get pregnant without help.
We've been off birth control ever since (over 16 years now) and our son is our only child.

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answers from Chicago on

It would not hurt to see one. If anything you can at least have your hormone levels checked. My temp also tends to run on the low side. My gyne when we were first trying had me chart my temps and told me I was doing it wrong because I did not get a dip and then increase to show ovulation. Hormones can get screwy at the drop of a hat--mine decided to cooperate in the past several years. And of course, there is always, "relax, it'll happen". I hated hearing that, though usually by well meaning people.

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answers from Philadelphia on

Before my son I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks. I was 37 when I got pregnant both times. it took five months after my miscarriage to get pregnant again. They say it was probably a chromosonal defect. These days they can do a test at the beginning of the pregnancy to see if your hormone levels are correct. make sure you are eating well and exercising. that will definantly help. you could also get some fertility drugs if you feel that there are issues. talk to your ob/gyn. it will happen. god bless and stay positive



answers from Pittsburgh on

Absolutly time, and time to find an OB/GYN who has a clue. ACOG has reduced the "wait time" for infertility treatment to 6 months for women over 35 because it literally gets harder every month. I don't think people realize how hurtful it is when people give advice like "just relax." Infertility is a medical problem. Would you tell people with cancer to "just relax?"

If you don't know RESOLVE yet, get to know them. Here's their page on secondary infertility. http://www.resolve.org/diagnosis-management/infertility-d...

Good luck to you. We've not tried for a second one yet, partly because dealing with the infertility issue was so difficult. I understand how frustrating and scary it is. Hugs to you both. My best advice is to try not to drive yourself or each other too crazy-- which is easier said than done, I know!



answers from Houston on

Have you tried the Clearblue Fertility Monitor? I'd give that a try (along with charting/temping) if you haven't, yet. I used ovulation predictor sticks, too - but it turns out the CFM showed that I ovulated around Day 9 whereas the predictor sticks were a few days later. There's also a good book out there called Taking Charge of Your Fertility - and their website is tcoyf.com Also look at remedies for low progesterone (what makes that little baby stick!). At 35, I'd want to get my rear to a fertility specialist, too; so I understand where you're coming from. Best of luck to you on your journey!



answers from Pittsburgh on

A healthy woman who has intercourse on exactly her fertile days, has a 20-25% chance of conception every month. Hence the reason why the recommendation is to wait a year before seeing a specialist.

I am sorry for your recent miscarriage. Losing a pregnancy is difficult. I know how it can overshadow your current attempts at conception. However, as every pregnancy is different, every baby is different, there is no way to predict whether you will miscarry again. 75% of women have miscarried at least once. So, although it's sad, it's normal.

Your OB's suggestion to "just relax" may seem flippant, but it is valid. The higher the level of stress hormones, the less likely you are to become pregnant. So, my suggestion is to take this advice. Go get a massage; go to a yoga class regularly; get some regular exercise; go on a date with your husband; do some fun, silly things; etc.

You also need to trust your heart, not your head. If your heart tells you something is amiss with your body, then go see the specialist. If your heart says that your head is making you think something is wrong, follow the above advice.

Remember, our children choose us to be their parents. They pick the time, the mom and the place.

Love and Light,
-D. - Lamaze Instructor, Prenatal Yoga instructor and owner of Shining Light Prenatal Education



answers from Pittsburgh on

Two ways to look at this:
1) you have a child - so you obviously conceived and carried to term before - and you conceived again in the fall. Even though you had an early miscarriage (my sympathies for that), that shows that you can conceive because you obviously ovulated and your husband was able to fertilize the egg, and it's happened successfully more than once. So its unlikely that you or your husband have problems. This is probably what your Ob is thinking.
2) Other point of view - while it's unlikely that you or your husband have any issues, it's not impossible. Given your age, it's better to find out about problems sooner rather than later. If you get some testing done, you would know for sure that you're both ok.

Both points of view are valid, and you can take whichever one feels right for you.


answers from Dallas on

I had my DD at 38. You've still got plenty of time!



answers from Boston on

I will echo the responses below. Secondary infertility is very real and can be just as hard to overcome as primary infertility. There is no reason to not have at least a consultation with a reproductive endocrinologist and just get things checked out.

In the meantime, you should look into acupuncture. When I was involved in IVF a lot of patients were prescribed acupuncture as a routine part of their treatment. A friend who had no trouble conceiving her first at age 35 but later had multiple miscarriages, IUIs, etc. started acupuncture a couple of months before she was scheduled to start IVF and got pregnant naturally and that pregnancy is now her 18 month old son.

Best of luck to you!



answers from Johnstown on

Stop TTC. Seriously! You're putting sooo much stress on yourself. As soon as you give up, it will happen! And yes, I am speaking from experience.

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