Time Away from Kids

I do nothing by myself...ever. Sigh. Last year I did go to the gym and bring the kids with me but they would go and play in the kid play area. It was the ONLY time I had without kids. I LOVED it!! And I am fat...so you know I really needed that time if I was willing to go to the gym! lol
I would say that I get out of the house without my children about 1 every 6 to 9 months,,,,and then it's just to go to the grocery store. I WISH I had more time away. I love my kids, love my husband, but I love me too. Sometimes I forget about me.
L.

Mom of 3,
you've gotten great replies! I agree with most of them. YOU are doing the hardest job in the world and have to be soo many things and "wear" different hats throughout the day. Don't let the hubby guilt trip you into not getting some you time. And IT IS NOT babysitting when he is watching his own kids, duh its him being a father and raising them. :)
But maybe he needs a guys night out? Yeah, suggest he go play poker or eat out at steakhouse or watch a sporting event with some of his friends.
Good luck on trying to get some rest & relaxtion,
pammy

I go out to Weight Watchers and dinner with my friend every single Thursday, no exceptions. I also go out some other way, drinks, movie, dinner usually at least one other time during the month. I feel like that's not enough and I only have 1 kid!! I can't imagine how exhausted and overwhelmed you must feel. You shouldn't feel guilty. You need time for you. I know when I've had some time to myself I'm a much better mom and I enjoy my daughter a whole lot more.

I'm wondering how often your husband gets time to himself. Is he jealous because he never goes out and wants some time or does he feel overwhelmed by having the kids by himself and wants you to feel bad about it, or is he just a plain stinky weasel?

Your job is 24/7. Even people who work a lot get a day off now and again. Going out a few times a month is not asking much at all!

I have two mornings a week (Monday and Friday, from 8-11:30) away from my kids and that is when I go grocery shopping and try to catch up on things at home that I haven't bee able to get to. I go out with friends once every couple months and otherwise I am generally home. I think you have no reason to feel guilty. WE ARE BETTER MOMMYS WHEN WE GET TIME TO OURSELVES! My husband rarely goes out with friends, and sometimes that is a struggle for us. He works all day and is tired, then comes home to his responsibilities at home. I agree the deserve time out as well, but it is hard. For me, I just need time out of the house WITHOUT the kids, and I feel that he gets that at work. Another issue that causes stress for us is that he is a "grown-up" all day at work so when he comes home he turns it a silly, wild kid. I, on the other hand, have been chasing toddlers all day and I absolutely crave adult company!

Don't feel guilty - you stay plenty busy at home and deserve a break too!

for some moms it's not possible to get a break. but all moms are better for having one occasionally. grocery shopping with one child and once or twice a month is certainly not excessive. do NOT let your husband guilt trip you. the whole family benefits when mom is calm and sane, and a little solo time will help with that.
khairete
S.

Just go and do it.
Take time for yourself.
DO NOT feel guilty.

Your Husband, maybe he's making you feel guilty so that HE doesn't have to babysit.
Sorry, but that is his job too. Those are his kids.
AND he should care about the well being of his wife.

All Moms, just like any other human being, needs time off.

Have your Husband, READ all your responses to this.
You will get many.... comments.

You have THREE kids.
HE needs to help too.

Dont let hubby make you feel bad about going out for a bit. You need it to keep your sanity, 3 young children is alot of work, especially being a stay at home mom. Its complete chaos sometimes, so enjoy your quiet moments out by yourself, even if its to grocery shop.
Remind your hubby that its alot of work at home, and you need a moment if he wants a happy wife and mommy, cause face it, if momma aint happy, no one is happy lol.

Hello. I'm a stay at home mom as well with 4 children(13, 10, 2, and 8 mths). I've been staying home with them for about 2.5 years now and it is the hardest job ever. I'm used to going to work and getting out there.

I think it is VERY healthy for you to get out and socialize with friends. I see my two best friends on a monthly ..for a dinner or lunch. If you can get out of the house everyday for a walk..that could help as well. I've just started that. Maybe if we lived close..we could do that together. I hear ya on being unable to shop and looking at good deals when you have the kids with you. Sometimes, I don't want to leave the house because it's just a hassle to have the kids with me and running my errands.

I'm a little surprised that your husband is making you feel guilty? Why is that? Is he used to you just staying home? Sounds to me, that he may not be able to handle the kids or anything in the homefront...some dads/hubbys should stay home and try it out...they might just appreciate you more. :) I've learned to take my time for myself and have my husband deal with the kids. Put your foot down Mama. If you get sick and your body shuts down because you put a lot on yourself...everything falls apart..so take some time for yourself without any guilt.

That does not seem unreasonable at all....tell your husband to get a grip.

;)

My husband and I *try* to get out once a week alone. I'll meet a friend for dinner and a Target run (my fav!) or a movie on Monday or Tuesday, and he meets friends out for drinks and to watch a basketball game on Thursdays. It doesn't always happen, but we try. I don't think twice a month isn't unreasonable at all. Maybe he's needing some time away too, that's why he's giving you a hard time...? Try and work out some time for him to spend with friends on a regular schedule. See if that helps. And YOU need to go for once a week!

Don't feel guilty. You need time to recharge and it's such a break to do the necessary errands w/out having to herd kids. Unless you're taking his comments personally, your husband is acting like a jerk. Why don't you have THEM all go shopping while you stay home and see how much "fun" he has. That'll show him. I'm assuming he's just a bit clueless and not an actual full-time jerk (LOL). If you don't recharge, you won't have the energy for them.

Are your kids happy and healthy? Do you feel like you still love your DH and get to spend enough time with him?

If the answer is yes, then whatever time you're spending out alone, with just your oldest, with your mom, or with friends is just fine and might just be the thing that is making you a happy woman, wife, and mother.

Is your DH maybe being passive/aggressive about asking for man-time? Ask him if he is getting the time he needs to recharge: "Honey, would you like to have a day off this weekend for poker or golf or fishing or just have the basement to yourself to watch some sports? You deserve a break."

I'm almost never without my kids unless I have a dentist apt. But thats just because I don't have a dependable baby sitter. If I did have a dependable babysitter, I'd absolutely not think twice about leaving kids for a few hours once or even twice a week to get shopping done, see girlfriends, exercise, date night, massage, a movie (sorry just dreaming). Twice a month? I think you are fine.

That's why there are so many Mothers-Day-Out programs. They are successful because they are needed. There is nothing wrong with wanting some time to yourself and to do things you need to do without an entourage.

I put each of my grandkids in MDO, K went M-W-F from 10-3 from the time she was 2 yrs., J went for 2 days per week 10-3 from the time he was 6 weeks old, Kr went a couple of days a week whenever she lived with us from 6 weeks of age also.

Unfortunately, I have never gone out without my 20 month old. We just don't have anyone to help with him. However, you are able to and there is nothing wrong with that. Before I got to the bottom of your post, I thought your question was going to say you went out often. Once or twice a month, is not often!! You should never be made to feel guilty. You deserve some time!! Go out and enjoy yourself and don't ever feel guilty!!

It certainly doesn't sound like you are going overboard on needing time for you. A good resource on this topic is Time for Mom-Me. Check it out! And good luck. :)

You are a super hero in my book. Stay at home M. to three young kids is a ton of work. You deserve to have some time to yourself, At least once a week to recharge!

We don't have much help right now so we have only been out once. But you should not feel guilty though, what makes you happy is good for your family. I would like to have a friend or family member watch our 15 month old a few times a month so I could for some time with my hubby if I could though. Soon I'll start getting my friend to watch her once a month or so while my honey is at work and scrapbook or something I can't do with my daughter around.
A good friend of mine just started sending her 13 month old to mommys day out a few hours a day 3x a week for time to herself, and I tell you she seems so happy, and get son is getting lots of socialization. And he gets lots of love when he is home.
Please don't judge yourself by other moms. We are h*** o* ourselves enough as it is- do what makes you happy, it will be healthy for everyone in your family- (not suggesting your not happy, you are a wonderful mom!)

I don't think there's any reason for you to feel guilty. For me, carving out time just for myself makes me a better mom and it helps me continue to pay attention to things I loved pre-motherhood, something I believe is really important. I go to a boot camp with a girlfriend every Saturday morning before my daughter and husband wake up and my husband and I have a date night at least every two weeks. Additionally, about once a month, I will go out with my girlfriends for an actual meal that isn't rushed and I make a point not to constantly text my husband to see how he and the baby are (because obviously they are fine). Ultimately, do what works for you and your family. If you need time for yourself, feel empowered to take it and if you want to spend every moment with your family, then enjoy that!

You are doing amanzing! I need at least once per week!

Absolutely don't think you should feel guilty about going out once or twice a month! It's probably necessary for your sanity and if your hubby is home with the kids, it's a good chance for him to have daddy time.