Throwing Food - Help!!

Updated on October 17, 2011
M.P. asks from De Pere, WI
10 answers

My son (16 months) loves throwing food, silverware, sippy cups on the floor. It does not mean he is done...as he will do it right away sometimes. We used to have a dog who would run around and reinforce the throwing of food on the floor. Our dog recently got sick and had to be put down - very emotional and tough :-( and Ben still throws food on the floor. I am an Early Childhood "guru" (bachelors degree, teach at tech college, work p/t in day care) and I try to instruct my husband to not give a reaction and ignore the behavior, and not give the stuff back to him, but I really don't know what else to do myself. :-/ Any tips would be GREATLY appreciated!! :-)

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3.B.

answers from Cleveland on

We ignore it. I think it takes awhile for them to realize they are no longer getting a reaction. Some kids are just more stubborn then others, I have 3 of them LOL

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

It's a game. This sort of game takes an audience. If the player has no audience, the game isn't much fun any more.

Play your own game, called, "When the Throwing Starts, the Meal Ends." Don't get emotional; be calm and keep your sense of humor. "Oh, I guess you're done now. Okay. Lunch is over." (Even if lunch has just started.)

Don't worry about your boy's starving to death - you can move up snack time if you need to.

Expect some unhappiness from the thrower until he "gets it." Oh, and you could get a nerf football for your aspiring Packer quarterback and teach him how to throw it to you outside. There's good exercise in that.

P.S. I'm sorry about your doggy.

2 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm sorry for the loss of your dog.

I agree with Catherine C, this was my response even before I saw hers. Throw something and the meal is over, period. Yes, he may be upset, but he'll get over it and learn. My guy is now 2.5, and he was about the same age when he began pitching, he learned quite quickly that it didn't pay to toss. As Catherine said, stay matter-of-fact, he did it so he has the consequence. He won't starve, toddlers truly don't need much food to survive, and missing a meal or snack or portion of one won't harm him, and he'll be nice and hungry for the next one. Leaving items on his tray after he's thrown something is seriously asking for him to throw again, so it's best to take away the temptation. Liken it to throwing a truck or other toy, you wouldn't want him to develop a habit that could hurt someone so the first time he threw it you would take it away, not ignore the behavior. When the next meal comes around he gets a reminder, but if he throws, he's done with the meal.

I also agree about not putting an entire meal on his tray, a couple of bites of a food or an inch of water in an open cup, spilling on himself helped my guy to learn not to throw as well. If he's not ready to use utensils (they are typically mastered at around 3 so he has plenty of time to learn to use them) don't give them to him.

And something else I did with my guy is to have him help pick up and clean the mess he made, it seemed to reinforce why he didn't want to throw anymore.

2 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

As hard as it is to do as a mom, my rule was always, throw the food and we're all done with meal time. I wouldn't really react, except to take the tray off of the high chair, remove the child from the high chair, and say, "Wow, I guess you weren't hungry. Okay, no more food until lunch time." Toddlers may be young, but they're not dumb. A couple of hours of feeling hungry, and they are a lot less likely to throw food the next time. You may also remind him before the next meal, "Remember what happened at snack time when you threw your food? We had to stop eating. This time, let's remember the food goes in your mouth, not on the floor."

The other thing is, don't put everything on the high chair tray at once. Just put maybe one or two pieces of food. Once he has eaten those, put a couple more. When he asks for water, give him his cup with maybe only an inch of water in it. In my experience, too much food on the plate can lead to an irresistible desire to throw it! ;)

2 moms found this helpful
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B.G.

answers from Champaign on

Um, it's completely age appropriate and actually a very good thing for him to be doing it. Yes, it helps to have an audience, but it's also a science experiment. He's learning about gravity and how things behave when dropped. Annoying and messy for adults? Yes, of course. But it is something a healthy kid does.

If he's throwing food, chances are he really is done eating and he's telling you that. You could try looking at him and saying, "All done? Are you all done eating?" You might actually get a "Yes!" from him.

Don't worry about the behavior. He's not behaving badly. He's just being a toddler.

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

As soon as he throws his food/utincils say "uh oh looks like breakfast (lunch snack etc.) is done" and take him down. If he is still hungry, give him ten minutes and see if he wants to try again. After the second try (if he is still throwing things) put the food away. He will be whiney and hungry for a little while, but he will learn throwing food means no more food quickly.

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L.C.

answers from Dover on

I agree with the other posters. The way we did it at the CDC I worked at was, "when I see you throw your food you are telling me you are finished. are you finished?" then the second time, "you are finished."

That started at about 18 months and you are right around the corner from that. At this age I wouldn't deny food until the next meal. I would give him an opportunity to try again, and every time he threw food he would have to get down and wait long enough for me to have said SEVERAL TIMES, "You threw your food, so you were finished eating. If you want to eat your food, keep it on your tray."

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Gidget's right about your son the scientist. And the overhand movement, which kids in his age group practice endlessly via throwing and banging/whacking on things, is also needed to develop good eye-hand coordination. It's a wired-in exploratory activity.

What might work best is to give specific 'throwable' items, and a target like a box or basket, and cheer him on when he throws those things. That will give him the outlet he needs for this little compulsion. Keep non-thowables off his tray until he actually needs them, and give him food in very small quantities at a time.

It's fine to say firmly "Don't throw (food/your cup)," and taking the thrown item out of play, but focus on discouraging his throwing the wrong things by encouraging the right things. Worked pretty well with my grandson.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

two warnings & then the meal is over. Sounds hardcore, but he does have to learn to listen to you.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from New York on

I used to make my daughter pick up everything that she threw on the floor. I would correct the behavior by telling her not to do it and let her know that when she was finished eating she would have to pick up everything. There was a small power struggle at first but I stuck to it and she no longer does it. Of course if it was something that stained the carpet I would pick it up right away but I really didn't give her messy food until the behavior was corrected.

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