Three Year Old Waking All Night and Way Too Early in the Morning

Updated on October 07, 2010
J.S. asks from Roseville, CA
14 answers

My son is almost 3 and we are suddenly having some major sleep issues. He's always slept fairly well at night, and would wake up for the day between 6:30 and 7:15. About a month ago, he started climbing out of his crib in the middle of the night. Sometimes it's just once or twice, sometimes it's 10 times. Sometimes he wants something, but usually not. We are usually able to put him down again without too much of a fuss. We have no idea why or what might be causing him to wake up so much during the night. Once he started sleeping though the night at 4-5 months old, he rarely woke up during the night.

Despite being up so much during the night, he is now waking up between 5 and 5:30 most mornings. He says he's "all done" sleeping and insists on getting up. We can usually get him to play quietly or lay down in his room, but sometimes that won't last for long. We were planning to convert his crib to a toddler bed when this began, but I’m so worried that it’s going to make our sleeping issues worse.

He's a bright, persistent, and can be a strong-willed little boy. He seems to have a good understanding of “good” and “poor” behavior as he often teaches his stuffed animals how to behave, and gives them praise and consequences when needed.

I know that you cannot make a child sleep, but he is clearly still tired and not getting enough sleep. He wakes up yawning, will say he’s tired a bit later in the morning, and is cranky when he is up so early. He is definitely ready to sleep by nap time and bedtime.

My husband and I are absolutely exhausted. Neither of us do well on limited sleep, and since our bedroom shares a wall with our son’s room, we keep ourselves awake listening and worrying.

If I’ve learned one thing as a parent, it is that everything comes in phases. This phase is lasting much longer than I thought. I am pregnant with our 2nd child (and exhausted for the early months of pregnancy) and I’m so worried that it won’t end when the baby is born and we will be getting NO sleep! (The sleep issues began long before our son knew about the pregnancy.)

Should we try an earlier bedtime? (Right now it’s 8, plus at least a 2 hour nap) Could converting the crib (which I know we need to do soon, anyway) actually help? Any suggestions to end the night waking or make sure he gets the amount of sleep needed are greatly appreciated!

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J.P.

answers from Stockton on

by the age of 3, my K. kind of new their numbers, and so I got them a digital alarm clock and told them that they couldn't get out of bed until is said ____ time, unless they were going potty, then they could go potty and get right back in bed. If they couldn't sleep they were allowed to lay there and read a book quietly, but they weren't supposed to be up and playing. worked for my K.. Hope that will help you out!

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

My son was doing the same thing until we switched him to the toddler bed. We had his little couch on our floor and for a week after he was switched to the toddler bed he would wake, come in with us and sleep on the floor. After the first few nights he did not even wake us, he was just there.Then after a week he stayed in his bed all night. It sounds crazy, but maybe this is his way of telling you he is ready for bed. We are in a condo, so we put the gate up so the only way he can go is into our room. We did not want him sleeping in our bed, hence the couch on the floor. But he soon realized that his bed was more comfy and stayed there. We had a few bad nights trying to get him to sleep because he wanted us in the room. So we put a chair out side his room and threatened him if he came out of his bed we would close the door. That was enough for him to stay in bed. He is 2 so it is not too early to change him. Good luck

2 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

Mine stopped napping around three and it made a big difference in getting them to sleep at night and letting me sleep more at night. OR cut down to one hour nap followed by 30 minutes of quiet TV because he may wake up cranky at first. I've read that all children wake up several times a night it's just a matter of do they usually just turn over and go back to sleep or do they usually feel they need to interact with Mom and be soothed by her to go back to sleep. So the important question raised by DVMMOM "how do you respond?" how much are you interacting with him in middle of night? And, how is he going to bed at bedtime? does he fall asleep alone in his room? I like Super Nanny's advise walk him back to bed and tuck him in without talking to him! Congrats on your pregnancy take care of yourself!

1 mom found this helpful
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B.B.

answers from Dallas on

I've found I had to cut down on my 16 month olds naps, so he won't wake up too early. He went from 3 hours, to 1 1 /2. He is much more rested in the mornings. Also, I would suggest putting him in a bed. He is already crawling out, which is a major safety hazard. 3 seems a little old for a crib, as well. Putting him in a "big boy" bed will make him proud of his sleeping space.

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C.R.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter had trouble w/ sleep until she gave up her nap at 3.5. We put her in a twin bed when she was 3 because she kept saying she wasn't comfortable. Turns out the crib mattress (which we had used in a toddler bed from a little less than 2 - she climbed out of her crib then) really was horribly uncomfortable, you could feel the springs through it. She immediately did much better. He may need more room than he has in a crib too. My daughter is almost 5 and she goes to sleep between 7 and 7:30 and sleeps for 11.5 - 12 hours a night.
Good luck,
C.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Greetings JS, all I can say is WOW. I am the mother of 5, and I have never had a child sleep like yours at a young age and by the time they were 3 they had long since gotten out ofteir cribs and were up playing early everyday, or we just let them into bed/or in quilts on the floor of our rm with us-- yes all of them.none were willing to nap on a regular basis. I can suggest that you let your little one come into bed with you maybe he only needs the comfort of being with you and will snuggle down. Becasue we had so many children we kept a pile of quilts folded in the room and they'd build "nests" and read or look at books on the floor while we were sleeping. We also had by the last child a TV all set up with the video they were allowed to watch PLANET EARTH is a big hit or something from the Discovery Channel so they got to learn something but we were the ones to have set it up. Hope that you are taking a nap when your child does. Do you use a fan for background noise for him? It works for my granddaughter. Have toys set out that the little one can play with that you know are ok for early morning? What I have done for a grandchild that is an early riser when here is set up a small tent and we have things there that are fun to play with until the rest of the family wakes up. Have you considered not letting him take a nap so that he is tired until morning ? It might take a few days but it might help since he seems to be getting plenty of rest and solid sleep each day. Good Luck and Congradulations of the 2nd baby.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

a 3 yr old only needs 10-12 hrs and this includes a nap if your son is on the low end of sleep needs and is taking a 2 hr nap he only needs another 8 hrs at night. If you want him to sleep better at night start cutting out that nap and replace it with quiet time. Also its really not safe to have him climbing out of the crib you should have converted the first time he climbed out.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I am going to suggest her only take an hour and a half nap if possible.. Give him lunch around 11:45, clean up then nap.. Let him know you will be going to the park or playing outside in the afternoon after errands or after chores.. . Then take a snack and take him to the park around 300 or 3:30.. Have him run like the wind, climb, skip swing.. very active..

Bring him home, give him a quiet activity while you prepare dinner, when dad gets home, make sure there is no rough housing and that the house stays pretty calm..Have a good dinner, maybe have dad take him for a walk or ride the trike around the block a couple of times. If it is gets dark early , have son take a flashlight.. . Then have your husband give him a nice quiet bath with lots of strong rubs.. Start bedtime at 7:00 or later, with a good story or 2 and then sleep.. This should help shift his sleep a little. Remember soon we will be "falling back" for daylights savings time, so might as well adjust so he will be prepared..

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

When he gets up at night, how do you respond? If you are interacting with him too much, he might be doing it for the attention. The first time he gets up just tell him no, it's time to sleep and take him back to bed. After that, don't say anything at all - just escort him back to bed, put him back in the crib, and leave without saying a word. You might have to do it several times but eventually he should realize that getting up is not going to get him a different result. I would do the same thing when he is up at 5:30 am.

My daughter is the same way - very bright, very persistent, and does not back down easily. She is great about sleeping all night but has started the early waking business too and I have flat out told her it is not time to wake up yet - it is still dark out and therefore it is still time to sleep. I don't know how soon the sun comes up where you are, but this time of year the sun is rising a little later each day of course, and telling her that she can't up before the sun is up has bought us some extra shut-eye time. She's not happy about it but she still stays put in her crib for another 30 to 60 minutes most days. I would also try not having him nap, putting him down earlier and see how he does. And I am interested to see what others will suggest.

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

I would definitely switch him to a regular bed. Even though it gives him a better opportunity to get up during the night, he may settle in better having a bed that is better suited to his body size.
We're finding that our grandson responds well to a bit of 'bribery'. He gets a special muffin treat in the morning if he has slept the night through in his bed rather than getting up to bother his Mom and Dad. Of course, if there is a legitimate reason for him to have to get up, they recognize that and don't take away his treat, but if he's just getting up for no reason, he loses the treat.

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S.R.

answers from McAllen on

maybe eliminate the naps.

My son used to wake up every night @ 3:00 and play and then go back to sleep but we were so worried we were awake too!. I spoke to the doc and he gave him melatonin(its natural) and so far seems like a problem solved. You could talk to your doc about it if all else fails. I would try to eliminate or minimize the napping first.

Good Luck!!

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T.K.

answers from Chico on

Talk to him and try asking him what is waking him up. Is he dreaming? I don't know how "long" you waited to tell him about the pregnancy, but if the problems started after you were pregnant and before you told him about it, he may have already picked up on something different??? K. are effected by any type of change more than we realize...anything else different happen for him, you, daddy, grandparents, friends, etc?

I wish you well getting him to sleep regularly again!!!

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F.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I would covert the crib to a toddler bed or if you need the crib for the new baby, buy him a twin bed. I would child proof his room to the max and put a gate up at the doorway so he cannot get out. Now his waking early is a habit and getting no attention will help him get back to sleep. If you have to get up with him, do not talk but take him to his bed and lay him down again.
You do not want to start the habit of him sleeping with you as then you would be exchanging one bad habit for anohter. I had a friend who was like this and she remembers so clearly. Her parents kept alot of books in her room and when she woke up early, she read books.

Updated

I would covert the crib to a toddler bed or if you need the crib for the new baby, buy him a twin bed. I would child proof his room to the max and put a gate up at the doorway so he cannot get out. Now his waking early is a habit and getting no attention will help him get back to sleep. If you have to get up with him, do not talk but take him to his bed and lay him down again.
You do not want to start the habit of him sleeping with you as then you would be exchanging one bad habit for anohter. I

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I.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi,
The first thing you should do is check to make sure he doesnt have parasites, if he doesnt...make sure he's not getting foods with high sugar
content. Create a relaxing routine before he goes to bed by giving him a warm bath, very relaxing soft music and a little foot massage with cream,
ive been doing this for my youngest daughter and know she asks for her bedtime routine.
I hope this is helpful!!

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