Three Year Old Pushing and Hitting

Kris has great advice. I would also like to add, maybe if her son hears it from you as well as his parents that we don't hit and it's not nice to be mean to our friends he might listen better. Children tend to behave better for other adults. Talk to your friend as ask her if she minds if you ask him to stop. He is 3 and a half, he knows what is right and wrong, doesn't mean he has the ability to always control his anger but he knows it's not right.

Sounds like they are on top of the situation, but it will take time for their son to grow beyond this stage and learn other ways of dealing with his aggressiveness. In the meantime, continue to limit contact between the children or sit very close to them so you can "short stop" the pushing or hitting. Teach your son to look the other child in the eyes and firmly say "Stop! I don't like that." If the other child does hit your son, explain directly to the child that you and your son will have to go home now, because you don't like the rough play. I am the mother of an aggressive kid and I often had to keep playdates short or leave early due to DS's behavior issues.

Yup. Visit with your friend
with your babies and enjoy one another's company.
Have the boys in day care or with a sitter during these visits.
Separately.
No more playing together.
For a few years, anyway.

I have a similar situation and it is so hard! It's hard b/c partly you know it's kid stuff but you are on the side of your own kid and you hate to see them pushed around, I totally get it. Plus, you want that time to "yourself" to have the kids playing and you be able to hang out a little bit with the other mom, so you're caught in the middle. I agree that keeping the kids close to you is a good step. If you can see then and help descalate the situation first, that will help. And yes, you may have to go home early if the situation evolves into hitting and pushing. Something I've also done with my daughter is try and tell her before we go to this person's house is that no matter what the other child's behavior is, I expect her to do the right thing. She needs to say no and get help if necessary. I make sure that my standards are still high and enforce them no matter what, because sadly I guess, life lessons start at 3...not everyone will treat you nicely and you still need to the right thing. I do think part of it is the age...it's hard for this age to share, play together, etc. It can and should be done, by all means, but with some kids it takes time. Hang in there...I hope you work it out!