Thoughts on Work Travel / Having a Baby

Updated on January 09, 2013
J.K. asks from Beverly Hills, CA
29 answers

Hello Mamas!

Just wondering your thoughts on this. I have a little bit of an unusual work schedule. I used to travel all the time but landed a great opportunity where now I travel 2 days a week, all of which are driving distance (4-5 hours away). My husband is laid off but I make great money and we support ourselves easily on my salary. I expect to be able to afford things when our baby is born too, especially since we don't need child care. He's going to be a stay at home Daddy.

So here's the deal. When I'm not travelling, I work from home. I usually leave early Mon morning and come home Tue evening, and then work from home the rest of the week. I plan to continue this after the baby is born and my 8 week leave. My husband will be home to take care the baby so I can work but I am able to take breaks to nurse and spend time with baby. My work from home time is very flexible and allows me several breaks during the day, and I have no commute time so I get way more time at home than before. Yes, I know it will be very hard to leave the little one overnight, but it's just once a week. I trust my DH completely (and I really mean that). We also have all his family in the area if he gets overwhelmed alone. I have a lactation consultant lined up to help me prepare for being gone, ensuring I have enough breastmilk stored, pumping when I'm travelling, etc.

When I talk to people about this, they are very, very negative. Everyone says it's a terrible idea and I need to get a 9-5 job. I can't anyway, this is my career and there is no way we could handle the salary cut if I change positions, which would force my DH into working and therefore childcare...blah blah blah. They give me no reasons, but basically say I'm an idiot for thinking this will work.

I ignore them mostly. But tell me honestly, is it REALLY going to be that bad? I mean, I thought it was great that we could both be home 5 days a week all day long, even if my involvment will be somewhat limited during work hours. What are your thoughts?

ETA - What I mean by "several breaks" is that my work is mostly task driven. I can take as many breaks as I need, as long as I need, and just work longer if I need to finish something. A lot of it is reading, studying research, etc - which I can do while I nurse in best case scenario. This is my first time though, so I'm not 100% sure that will work, but my LC seems to think so. Pumping is my biggest concern. I work in hospitals while I travel, and have access to their lactation rooms. But it's still a concern as who knows how long it will take and if I can still get my hospital work done. I'm trying to educate myself on it now so I can prepare and then....just see what happens.

What can I do next?

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds great. It's just not typical so people can't wrap their heads around it. Get the dual pumping setup and get the pumping bra - will help cut time down for you. Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

It sounds great to me - I say just ignore the naysayers. Some people are just like that and that is their problem. I think it is awesome you have a great career and it sounds like it will all work out beautifully. It might take some adjusting to but then all will run smoothly.

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds like a great arrangement to me. Ignore others as everyone in Mommydom will always have an opinion and usually will let you know what it is whether you asked or not. Blessings to you.

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

I have a very close friend, my youngest son's godmother, who works in sales and is very successful. She is required to travel quite a bit, some overnight, and some local. When she isn't travelling, she works from home much of the time. Her husband is a stay at home dad. He is an excellent father. Their daughter just turned 5, and isn't in kindergarten, yet. They would like to have more children. For now, this arrangement works very well for them.

Every family needs to do what works for them. Ignore the negative talk. It sounds like you've found what works for you. :)

3 moms found this helpful

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I think it sounds like an awesome set up!!!!
2 things pop to mind though.
1 - make sure hubby knows 100% what the expectations are!! Sure, you can take breaks every hour or so to NURSE, but you need to be working the rest of the time mostly. So, none of that "hey, honey, can you come help me for a second while I......" etc. You need to be able to focus on work while you are working.
2 - goes along with pt #1, you need a separate and quiet place to focus on work. It will be very hard if you can hear dad and baby crying right in front of you. Do you have an office?

And spend the big bucks to get a good Medela or similar pump, worth every penny. You'll find places to pump - in your car if you must! LOL! And introduce the bottle from the start. I tried at about 6wks old and my son would not have it!!! LOL!

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I think if it works for you, then who cares what others think.

Keep in mind, if you are nursing straight from the source...you will need far more then "a couple of breaks!!! If you can only take a couple of breaks, you will definitely need several bottles of milk per day, for your husband. On top of that, I would only feel comfortable having a MINIMUM of 50 ounces of breast milk frozen...for the days you are gone Monday-Tuesday. Can you really pump enough milk to store enough for your husband to bottle feed during the day some, and when you are gone? If it turns out you aren't able to, are you OK with supplementing with formula?

This is my advice...plan on this arrangement. BUT, also have a plan if it just doesn't work. What if, everyone is unhappy and the arrangement isn't working. What will you do? What if, you can't take enough breaks to nurse, and you need more bottles of milk those times, and when you are gone...then you can physically pump? I am all for doing what you think is best for your family. I am in NO way saying you shouldn't go for it, but I think a plan B, is always the smart thing to have on deck.

As far as your schedule, I don't think there is a thing wrong with it. I just don't think it's ever wise to assume something WILL work 100%. Especially, since you've never been in the situation. Plan on the best, for this to be a perfect arrangement. BUT, be willing to compromise, if it doesn't end that way.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

What?? People are negative? When I saw your post, I figured it was a job that required frequent travel and when you're not traveling, you'd be in an office PLUS your husband worked FT. That I would say would be too much. This sounds way better than a typical 9-5 (and how many people have 9-5 only?) for both parents. Your husband will be home!! The child's father! And like you said, you'll have time during the day some and no commute. Don't let people psych you out This sounds great. Sure - SAHM would have more time but I've worked FT but close to home and with not long hours so it's been ok. What I've liked is when my kids were toddlers and sick, if one of them wanted me, I could run home, comfort them and go back to work. It was stressful on me but I could do it. You can do it easily except 2 days a week. And those days the baby will have his/her other parent. Keep this job.

3 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Um, no, it won't really be that bad. In fact, it sounds like you have an AWESOME situation.

I think you'll hear from part-timers and SAHMs that this is a terrible idea.
I think you'll hear from full time working mom's that it sounds like a great plan.
An overnight 1x a week...GREAT!

It will get harder as your LO gets older, and wants to "go see" mommy during the day. But you'll figure out how to manage that. It's what we all do.
It sounds like you and DH have planned this, and you're in a great spot. Enjoy your great situation! :)

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

Sounds great to me, and more importantly it sounds like you have given this a lot of thought.

One of the best skills you can learn as a new parent is how to ignore all the (mostly unsolicited) advice you will get about how to raise your child and live your life. You do what works for you and your family and let the criticisms roll off your back.

Best of luck to you!

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think your schedule sounds great. Invest in a good double electric pump (ie, Medela) and you'll be fine. I travelled a few times for work when I was nursing. Less often than you will, but for longer times - 2 or 3 days at a time. I pumped while I was away at the same times I thought the baby would be getting a bottle, and we did just fine.

As for pumping, if you get a hands-free nursing bra, you can keep working on your laptop while you pump. If that's not feasible, it really only take about 20 minutes every 3-4 hours to pump, so I would think you can still get your hospital work done when you are on-site somewhere. I pumped before I got to work, during my lunch hour, then I only had to take one break mid-afternoon as an official pumping break. If you get a car adapter for your pump, you can even pump in the car immediately before/after work if you are going to a place without a convenient pumping room (just bring a small blanket to put over you so you don't flash anyone :)

2 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I see nothing wrong with your schedule. You are able to be hands on most of the week. Reverse the scene... no one would think twice about your hubby being gone 1 night a week for work...

That said, I am sure you can make it work, especially with a supportive husband to be there with the baby.

EXAMPLE.. my neighbor has 3 girls... now they are in grades 1, 3, 5 but as babies, they did have a nanny (still do), dad works from the home and has limited office time. Mom, however, is the high end top exec that travels all over US and Europe for weeks at a time.

These girls are very well adjusted, they adore their parents and the nanny has been with them since #1 was a baby (10+ yrs).

I see nothing wrong with your set up. Don't let people who don't get it try to make something out of nothing for you. You sound like you have a great plan and your child will be raised in a stable, loving environment. Congratulations!

2 moms found this helpful

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it will work beautifully!

2 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I think your work plan sounds fine. You may find that it is distracting to have baby so close by when you are trying to work, but if the hours are flexible, it sounds doable.

My one suggestion would be that if you are going to be breastfeeding, is that you do so through a bottle, from the beginning. This will accomplish two things. Will allow Dad to feed baby while you are away and home working, and it will allow you to see while you are home on leave, just how much milk your baby is receiving/needs each day.

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B.E.

answers from New York on

Sounds pretty good to me. I had to work a minimum of 2 hours a day the minute I was home from the hospital and I had no SO to back me up. It was pretty rough with a newborn and I had to work around naps when I would have liked to nap myself! Your situation sounds ideal. I wonder why people are being so negative?

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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I think your schedule sounds great!! Can DH come with you on your out of town trips for the first few months? That will make nursing so much easier. He can stay at your hotel with baby, bring the stroller, etc.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

It sounds great! Yes, staying out one night a week might be tough, but you'll make up for it with working from home. 9-5 isn't a perfect solution either. You'd probably make less money and see your child less--if you figure you'll be out of the house 8-6 most days.

And, I love that your hubby is on board with being a SAHD.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

Sounds like you and your husband both know what you want, and what works for you, and actually have a plan. Some people cant handle that, and always want/have to put in their two cents.

If some should question you, then simply state that you have it worked out and their concern is appreciated.

Do what is best for you and your family, and forget the rest. Congrats on the baby!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

I think it will work very well because hubby is home. I do not see a problem at all. Congratulations.

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I think it sounds wonderful and perfect for you, your husband and your baby! And I'm big on having a stay-at-home parent if at all possible. Most of the time your baby will have TWO!

I can't imagine why people are so negative about it . . . pumping might be hard for you but it sounds like you've thought all that out.

Good luck and hope everything goes smoothly.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

This sounds terrific. Sort of the best of both worlds. Congratulations!!!

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

I think it sounds awesome! When I returned to work, I was able to pump enough to both feed my large baby and freeze some extra. Not to mention, I had enough stockpiled to go on a 3-day trip with my girlfriends by the time he was 3 months old (left baby with daddy). I would definitely introduce the bottle, as soon as breastfeeding is well established and before you return to work, but continue to nurse. Since you will have so much time with your baby between trips I can't imagine that your milk supply will diminish so much that it can't be quickly remedied with on-demand nursing. I was lucky enough to be able to pump at work, and with a little practice could double barrel pump and type:) You'll be fine, and congratulations on finding the perfect balance of career and home that works for your family!

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H.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think it will work out fine. When I had my first, I decided to work from home, part-time with no child care. It was just me, my husband worked full time. My job is also very flexible, deadline driven, but no set hours. People thought I was crazy and that it would never work. Well, 6 1/2 years and 2 kids later, it has been fabulous. I get my work done and get to spend time with my kids and be there for everything. I think your situation sounds even better than mine. Because you will be away those 2 days, your husband will be used to taking care of the baby by himself and this will also help to foster a bond between your baby and your husband. Good luck to you!

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I see no problem whatever with your set up. In many ways it sounds ideal - you have lots of time with your child and get to pursue a rewarding career. I suspect that if you presented the situation with you as the stay at home parent and DH as the work out of the home parent that these same people would have no issues at all.

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B.R.

answers from York on

You sound like someone with lots of energy who really enjoys her job, so I think it could work. It's a great idea to gather as much information as you can before the baby arrives so you're ready for anything. One of the most useful books I read for helping to get my second son on a great schedule was Baby Wise. The first two weeks after he was born were killer with breastfeeding every three hours, but after that, life got easy fast. I didn't use the book with my first son, and it took him much longer to get into a routine. Part of that is them having different personalities and me understanding more about babies the second time around, but I do think Baby Wise helped. Also, a great online resource for all things breastfeeding is kellymom.com

From my own experience of nursing two kids through the first year, I don't think I could handle the schedule you're suggesting. Breastfeeding saps me of a lot of physical and emotional energy. I'm happy to do it, but that's just a fact of my life. I have many other friends who are not affected this way though, so everybody is different. If I were trying to handle your schedule, I'd probably need to pump for a feeding even during my work from home days so that I'd have a longer chunk of time to focus just on work. Don't put too much pressure on yourself if your energy dips a bit... Cutting yourself a break once in awhile could help you to keep up breastfeeding in the long term.

I'm one of those people who likes to be over-prepared, so I'll suggest something you probably don't want to hear. Go ahead and sign up for the formula samples and coupons. Price out what's available at your grocery store. Research formulas and decide which one you would pick in a worst case scenario situation. I was determined to breastfeed, read multiple books about it, took the class, met with the lactation consultant, etc... But I also did my formula research. Neither boy ever had a drop of formula, but I felt better knowing that I had a sample on the shelf just in case. Sometimes I just needed to trick myself mentally... "If I get out of bed one more time for the 2 am feeding, I'll let my hubby use formula for the next one." And then I'd sleep so well after the 2 am feeding that I'd be awake and ready to go again for the next one! You know your personality best- I guess for some people that might sabotage them, but it helped me feel like I had more control over the whole situation.

Anyway, that's my two cents! Congratulations on your first little one! You've got a wonderful year ahead!

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T.H.

answers from Topeka on

Sounds like an awesome job! May I ask where you work? I also work from home. Its not for everyone. A lot of my friends think I am crazy. I have to travel some with my job as well and as much as it sucks to be away from home, think about all the great quality time you get to spend with your baby during the week that you would miss out on if you had a 9-5 job. If it works for you & your husband, who cares what others think. When they give you their 2 cents say, you know this really works well for our family. Its not for everyone. I feel like I have to defend myself sometimes too but it really does work for our family and it sounds like you have a great support system out there. I wonder how many would give your husband the same advice if it was he leaving for 2 days out of the week for a job

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

I think YOU will be just fine, as long as dh is on board, I think it sounds just fine!

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C.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think it sounds great, good luck! And even though you will likely have to pump in the middle of the night during your travel, at least for a few months, I think you will find that having one night a week where you can get some predictable sleep will do wonders.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

People are dumb!!! Don't listen to them. Of course you can make your work-from-home/travel job work. In fact, it sounds like a fantastic situation. Will you miss your child on Monday nights? Certainly. But you'll be home every other day to nurse, be available, etc. And your child will be home every day with at least one parent which is so much easier than daycare.

I have a somewhat similar job - I work from home and travel for one week each quarter. When I went back to work, we hired a nanny because my husband also works full time. I took breaks all the time to cuddle, feed my girls, and be available. It was awesome to be so involved in my twin girls' day without having to quit my job.

I started traveling again when my girls were six months old, so I had a bit longer at home than you did... but I was gone for four days at a time. Even then, I didn't have any major problems. I brought my hospital grade pump with me (as my carry on) and pumped in the morning and evening -- usually didn't have the ability during business meetings. Having access to a hospital pumping room and their refrigerators will be a life saver. You should find out if they'll have pumps you can use; I know the hospital I delivered in had pumps in the pumping room in the NICU and step down nursery. It's possible you may need to supplement with formula as your child grows, but as long as you pump regularly you'll keep your supply up.

I haven't read anyone else's responses... but really... I think your job sounds IDEAL for having a child. If you have any specific questions since I've done something very similar, feel free to PM me.

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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

Wow, sounds like you have a great work schedule. I'd keep it and ignore the naysayers.

I worked and continued nursing after my first was born. It was really difficult. Especially when I was in the middle of a meeting and couldn't leave when it was time to go pump. Everything has to work around your pumping schedule which is inconvenient to say the least. And time consuming. Otherwise, I think it's wonderful that you can be home and near your little one 5 days a week.

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