Thinking About #3...How Is It Going from 2 to 3? - Fort Worth,TX

Updated on December 11, 2009
K.A. asks from Fort Worth, TX
28 answers

I am a SAHM who has 2 wonderful litle boys that are my life. I have baby fever again and my husband would really like a girl. I am a little nervous at the thought of 3 kids, but love the thought of another baby, and giving my love to another child. I would like to know if it was a litle crazy going from 2 to 3 kids. In my planning I would have a 6, 5, and the new baby. Am I crazy thinking about 3. Is that selfish? Does it take away from my other children? Awww any information you would like to share would be helpful! Thanks Moms

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C.F.

answers from Dallas on

I have 4....ages 13, 11,4 and 3 months...gets easier each time....everyone helps each other...busy but fun

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U.A.

answers from Dallas on

I couldn't stop thinking about #3 after I had 2 girls. We are now blessed with a baby boy. It is really hard and at times I feel like we are crazy! My second daughter is still terribly jealous of #3 and acts awful sometimes. But I know as they get older it will all be worth it!

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H.R.

answers from Abilene on

I can't answer specifically about going from 2 to 3, but I can say that, statistically speaking, you have a 50/50 chance of having a girl or boy, each time you get pregnant. Doesn't matter how many of each you already have! So, in that respect, go for it!

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T.H.

answers from Dallas on

I have 4 and going from 2-3 didn't seem like a big deal. Just remember after 2 the parents are out numbered! ;) We have found our balance but you do have to stay on top of your game. The third child adds that uneven number and you have one child who is always being left out of the mix or can be ganged up on. If you stay in the loop most of these issues are short lived and easily diffused. We had 3 kiddo's for 7 years before #4. Having 4? Once you have more than 2 it really doesn't matter anymore!! I would just say that it's up to you & your hubby as to what you want and how much time, money & attention you have to invest. Because kids are our biggest investment and they work does increase with each addition. Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

We have ages 3, 2 and 4 months. Since your other two are 5 and 6, you might be just fine. :) For us, going from 2 to 3 was crazy because of their ages. None can do anything for themselves, and I can still barely get them through a parking lot.

But, your situation is different. The older two can help out and do some things for themselves. If you handled kids one year apart, you can handle a new baby. It is a lot of work, yes, but worth it if you feel you have the love and patience in your heart.

The most difficult part for me is keeping any amount of patience. I never got impatient with baby #1, ever. And the moment #2 came along, I did pretty intensely with both of them. And with baby #3, wow! Lots of anger sometimes, so we try to get out of the house because each day is very intense. But if they are both in school, that would make a huge difference. One is in preschool now. Good luck!

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S.A.

answers from Dallas on

Go for it. I had three in 4-1/2 years, and I personnally found it harder to go from 1 to 2 kids, than from 2 to 3 kids - although there was a point when I had a 1 month old, a 2.5 year old, and a 4.5 year old that I wondered, "What did I do???!!!". Your older kids are big enough to help -- and to help a lot. Just add a little more bubble bath to the bath water!

Good Luck!

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

I had #3 when the first two were 2&3- that was a little hectic! I am now expecting #5 and the youngest is 4 with the oldest at 9- I actually think it will be easier now because they are all old enough to help out with the new one- even the 4 yr.old. I don't think you are being selfish or taking away from your other two by having a third. Did it take away from your first when your second was born? The amazing thing is that you don't have a finite amount of love that you have to divide up between your children- you will love this next one just as much as the other two- plus there are so many wonderful things your family will learn from having a third.
I think that if you really feel you should have another baby- there is one waiting to come down from Heaven to be with your family. Plus, your boys will be great helpers! You will get to see another side of their personalities as they help take care and learn to love thier little brother/sister.
Merry Christmas!
~C.

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D.I.

answers from Dallas on

You've gotten a lot of advice, but just wanted to add that if you want another, go for it... you will not regret it. We have 3 and it was no big deal to go from 2 to 3 - and they were all close in age. My older two were 4 1/2 and almost almost 3, when the 3rd came along. They are now 14, 12, and 9. Activities now can be a challenge, getting them all where they need to go, but life is a balance and you make choices/plans accordingly. They are not deprived of attention, are great kids and thoroughly enjoy each other (most of the time!). I would have had a 4th if my husband was on board with that... still have that longing, so I don't understand the "done" feeling that others describe. Sure wish I did. Bottom line... do what is in your heart.. Best of luck to you.

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R.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hey there! I am a Mom to 4 girls and our 3rd and 4th babies were definitely the easiest and least demanding babies. Going from 2 to 3 was no problem for us. In fact, my husband asked me one day - "We did have another baby right? Everything is going so smoothly." The older children will be such big helpers to you and delight in doing it. All of the girls are 2 years apart, so your time between babies will be different, but I have never regretted expanding our family. Our third baby seemed to round out the group nicely and our 4th was a bonus and blessing. I say go for it!

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

Going from 2 to 3 children is definitely easier than having the first or going from 1 to 2! The only bit of advice I would share is to not have a third simply for the purpose of trying to get that little girl. Statistically speaking, your chances of having a third little boy are quite a big greater. Either way you decide, good luck and blessings to you and your family! :-)

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J.C.

answers from Amarillo on

I'm glad you asked this question. We're talking about #3 ourselves. Ours will be 7 or 8 yrs, and 1 yr when #3 arrives. I think I agree with some of the others. If this is what YOU and Your Husband want, GO FOR IT!! Good Luck and many blessings.

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T.R.

answers from Dallas on

Just wanted to say.. I thought I was reading a post about myself! :) I am a SAHM of 2 boys ages 4 and 6, and have finally decided to try for #3. We really want a little girl as well. If I end up with "My 3 Sons" that is fine too. I am now 34, so just praying for a healthy baby.

I had my IUD removed last month.. it was about to expire, so instead of replacing it, we decided to try.

I talked to friends about going from 2 to 3. Most said with this much of an age gap it is actually good, because you can spend a lot of time with the baby alone during the day while your older boys are at school. I even have one friend that said it isn't a big deal, and she works full-time. Don't think I could handle that!

I am an only child, and have always wanted a bigger family to celebrate with during holidays, etc. The main drawback for us was financially...my husband wanted to retire early.. then #2 came, and he had to push it back 5 years, and now it will be another 5 years probably.. but overall we think it is worth it! He told me that I can go back to work when I am 55 to get medical insurance for us.. haha.

Good luck!!

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H.F.

answers from Dallas on

We have six children. Your two older children will be big helpers. We are a busy household, but we love it. Ours are 10, 8, 5, 4, 3, 6wks. I do not think that having children is selfish. God says that they are gifts and blessings.

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S.A.

answers from Dallas on

The transition from 2 to 3 was a little rough, but it was my best birth experience by far. My housekeeping skills have been not up to par most of my life, so when it got close to birthing time, we hired some help once a week 'til the baby was around 6 months old. We also lived close to family, and had lots of church friends to help us out. When my laundry got to be a significant pile and a friend stopped by to see the baby, she conspired with a few others, came back and took it all to a laundromat, and brought it back folded :) My youngest is 4 now, and my husband has been telling me that he's happy with the level of clean the house normally is. (We've both grown -- he's not so perfectionist, and neither am I! I get done what I can). I think I can say I made the transition successfully. We homeschool, and the older children have not lost any ground over the long term, even though we did not do as much school while the baby was tiny. When the baby was old enough for naps without nursing to sleep, the older two practiced their reading by reading to him, and laying down with him to nap (girl 7 and boy 4 at the time), giving me a little off time from baby to (usually) clean the kitchen, do a lesson with the other, run a vacuum, and deal with laundry. Everyone I spoke to about adding a third child said that the third was the hardest, but after that, it was all easy (some women had 4, some had up to 12!), it was just adding one more.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

I love having 3 and am glad we decided to go for the third when our "original" plan was only to have 2 children. And through it all I didn't really care if it was a boy or girl . . . so long as the baby was healthy. (Although I think a subconsciously leaned towards having another girl because it is what I was familiar with.) I have been blessed with three wonderful daughters! Our situation is a little different because my first two were quite a bit older . . . 12 and 7 when their little sister was born. I find that I am much more relaxed about things with our littlest one . . . whereas with the first it was all about "meeting the milestones" and "what do all the experts have to say," etc. And going from 1 to 2 was definitely tough! My biggest adjustment with #3 was going back to diapers and strollers and all the other accessories you have to travel with! If you love having/raising children then go for it! Just don't be too hung up on wanting a girl vs. boy . . . just a beautiful healthy baby!

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V.B.

answers from Dallas on

Oh my gosh-big families are so much fun. My daughter has 5 and wants more. Her baby is 2.3 years old. After 3 she said it got easier and the older ones eventually become a lot of help. Teach them at about walking age and up to help you and make it fun. Gor for it-Good Luck!
By the way-you always have enough love for all your children and they feel it if you give it and show it every day.

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

As the mother of eight children, if you are both on board with another, GO FOR IT! Some days it will be harder, some days it will be easier, but it will ALL BE WORTH IT! Your family is the best thing you will ever do, and it sounds like you are ready to grow that family---which means more love!

Congratulations and best wishes!

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

i think it's gonna be very different for every family, based on the parents, the older kids, the baby, and just where you are in life at the time. i have a 6yo boy, 3yo boy, and a 9 month old baby girl. we did do things a little differently this last time when trying to conceive to improve the odds of having a girl, and we were successful :) i would have been fine with another little boy though, especially considering that we have suffered three pregnancy losses over the years. for US, the transition from 2 to 3 has been nothing short of an absolute nightmare! BUT, i think it has a lot to do with the temperament of my little "princess". she is high maintenance, no patience, not the wonderful sleepers i had with the first two, not scheduled, not easily soothed, LOUD, etc. i could go on and on. we always joke around that SHE is our last child, and she'd have been the last child if she'd been the first child LOL! i love her dearly, but i'm glad she wasn't twins!

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J.J.

answers from Dallas on

Our third child totally completes our family and I can't imagine life without her! We had 2 kids - one girl, one boy - about 2 1/2 years apart. We were on the fence about a third. But when they were 6 and 4 and we thought life was good - along came number 3... and life is better!

The spacing allowed for great time with each of them. My oldest was in school, my middle was in preschool a couple days a week, and I got great one on one time with the baby.

Love expands - so you always have enough!! I thought the transition from 1 to 2 was difficult, but 2 to 3 was smooth!

My kids are now 13, 10 and 7!

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A.P.

answers from Dallas on

K.. I have four kids and really, the hardest transition was going from 1 to 2. Three is a really good number. I could really manage things with ease with three. Four is a bit more challenging...:)

With you having older children, they will be able to help, and just include them in everything so they are apart of the experience and bond to the idea of having a new sibling.

My kids age ranges are 12, 10, 6 and 3. :)

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

I had a 6, 7, and newborn, so I'm pretty close to what you are planning for. The biggest difference was getting back into baby mode. The big kids can do for themselves (feed, dress, potty, etc.) When you have errands to do, you don't have to worry about naps, and they can bring a game to entertain themselves. A baby means working around nap times again, not getting as much accomplished in a day, and knowing that errands revolve around the mood of the baby. It's also harder to do some outings (no more movies for us right now with the whole family b/c the baby can't sit through them), no more board games on the floor unless the baby is sleeping. However, don't get me wrong, the baby is fun and the big kids love being the big brother and sister and helping to take care of him. My baby is almost 2 now and I know in 1 or 2 more years it will be a lot of fun to play games as a family again and stuff like that. If you want 3, go for it! If you are unsure, then maybe wait. Oh, and volunteering at school is hard too with a little one again...I feel like I'm focusing on the bad stuff, so let me at lest say one more good thing...my baby is my baby, he's my last and I do get to enjoy one on one time with him that I didn't get to with the other two b/c there were 2 of them!

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M.B.

answers from Colorado Springs on

It is not much different than having a second child. Your skills as a stay at home mom are perfected now, and multi tasking comes easily. I had two boys and then a girl. What a blessing to have a daughter! I have to admit she's a little spoiled. My boys were 4 and 2 when my 3rd was born. So I really had my hands full. I worried my 2 year old son (who turned two just 7 days before my daughter was born) would not get enough attention. Actually, it's my oldest that probably gets less attention. I do feel guilty sometimes that there is not enough of me to go around, but at least I'm aware of it and I make an effort for that not to be the case. I say go for it!

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D.D.

answers from Dallas on

I have been in your shoes exactly. Someone told me you might regret not having another child, but you will never regret having one, and that is so true. We went for a third and cannot imagine not having her. My older two were 8 and 5 when she was born and it has helped alot that they are older and able to help more and were in school and somewhat self sufficient. There are challenges as well, since they are at different life stages with school and after school activities, but it all works out and she goes with the flow and absolutely adores her big brother and sister. I found the transition from 2 to 3 to be very difficult in terms of having enough time for everyone and everything, but any downside is balanced by how blessed they are by the relationships they have with each other. I just try to make sure I have special one on one time with each of them from time to time. Good luck!

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

I think it won't be as hard as it could be if the 6 and 5 year olds were younger. The 6 and 5 year olds will be able to do a lot of things for themselves, so it won't seem quite like a juggling act. When I had 3 young ones (37 months, 18 months, and a newborn) we had a hard time because we could no longer separate the kids one to each parent... because now someone had to take 2 kids and the other parent had 1 when we needed help. But I think your older kids will be a big help. I think you'll love having 3 kids. They are a blessing. I just had my 5th!

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M.A.

answers from Dallas on

Of course you are not selfish, as long as you are staying home and your husband can support a 3rd financially, GO FOR IT! Your 5 and 6 year old can very well care for themselves and with their help, number three will probably be easier than number 2 was. Just think, they can get themselves snacks by this point, they can help at the store by pushing a cart or grabbing things off of shelves, they are old enough to entertain the baby and play with it once it is a toddler, #3 will be a breeze given the age of your current kids! Do it!

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K.L.

answers from Dallas on

I just went from 2 to 3, and it does seem daunting at first. However, only 5 weeks in and things are getting easier. I even took all 3 to Target by myself the other day, and everyone did well!!! My boys are 3 and 5, and my daughter is 5 weeks. We always wanted 4 kids so having a third wasn't a question for us. My biggest dilemma was being able to handle 3 boys if it wasnt a girl this time! LOL Your boys are older than mine so you should be fine. My oldest loves his little sister...it's the 3 year old who has taken some time to adjust, but even he is coming around.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

i had our #3 in may 08. my kids are 19 months, 7, &9. i am so in love w my lil man, i just cant imagine life w/o him. also, it really seems easier this go round. i think its the fact that we are more patient and experienced, and my girls are older, and want to help w him. there isnt any jealousy, i think thats the age difference though. they understand. go for it girl! youll b glad u did. we are debating on #4

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

The advice that I now give out is as follows. When you are done having kids you just know it. If you think that you want more then you are not done, go for it, there is now time like the present. We have 4 and after we had our 4th there was no question as to if we wanted more, we were done. I do not think about what if we had just one more. There is a feeling of completeness if that is even a word. Going form 1 to 2 for me what the hardest transition. After that one more was nothing.

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