They Won't Stop Touching Her!

I had the same problem and still do. She's almost two and it drives me nuts! My other problem is that she gets sick VERY VERY easily, so when stranges or even people I know thouch her I want to douse her in alcohol...but really, just keep a wipe handy (steer clear of hand sanitizer untill she's a bit older). I totally understand how you feel.

i wouldn't worry too much. You could either look at it as helping build her immune system, or just keep some wipes close by and wipe her hands whenever this happens. You could probably get away with doing it in front of the person, and say that you thought you saw something on her hands. You can also give other reasons like, "I'm afraid she might be a little ill today. Will you please not touch her" or "before you touch her, will you please use this hand sanitizer I have here. I just don't want her exposed to anything or catch anything." If they look offended, let them know that their hands might be clean, but you don't know who else has touched their hands, and you're just trying to be safe.

Put mittens on her hands, the ones they sell to prevent babies from scratching themselves. That's what I do!

It's kind of fun to read about what people are concerned about. I am a mother of one son. I also worked as an infection control nurse at one time. There are more cases of autoimmune diseases than there used to be in the United States. They have attributed this to more use of antibiotics, antibacterial soaps, and just cleaner conditions. Lupus is an example of an auto immune disease. The body needs to get used to foreign bodies (germs) so that it can recognize what is foreign and what is not so it learns to attack germs and not attack itself. Auto immune diseases happen when the immune system has an abnormal response to a person and attacks itself. Despite learning about this I do hate germs too especially from dirty looking people. Hepatitis A for example is transmitted via the fecal oral route. If some slimy person with hepatitis touches your baby after not washing their hands. Yikes. I don't like germs and I don't like being up in the middle of the night with a sick child either. I like the wipes idea. I think the world needs kindness and we teach our children important lessons when we react kindly to other people. I don't really like my son touched either though. I carry wipes. I have them in my car. I also let my son play in the dirt a little. A little dirt and exposure is a good thing. Hepatitis is not. Well...good luck.

S.

The very easiest quick solution would be to put the little mittens on her hands while shopping. Then you don't have to change anything about how you go or where she is, just that her hands are covered. If she tries to put them in her mouth, take them off, or turn them around, or even put on a new pair. That way no one is touching her actual skin. Other than that, you really would just have to tell people not to touch her. When they say, "She's so cute..." and go for her hands, just step back a bit and say, "Thanks. But I'd prefer you not touch her. She's still young." I had the same problem as you because I had twins that I took to the store. EVERYONE would stop me and ask, "are they twins?" Then look and google for FOREVER before letting me go on my way. I even had one lady ASK me to stop so she could see them. At that time, I was making it a point not to stop so I wouldn't have to be detained. I also had a2 1/2 year old walking around with me, and was pregnant, so maybe that made people shocked enough to ask, "are they all yours??" So everyone was stopping me, touching them, smiling and cooing at them. A lot of times, I would just say, don't touch. Anyway. Hope it helps. Good luck. Some people have no sense of common courtesy.

When you do your shopping look straight ahead, and don't make eye contact! Who cares if people think you're rude? They probably won't anyway, they'll just think you're in a hurry.

If they reach for her quickly back up and say I'm so sorry but with so many different strains of sicknesses nowadays I don't let people touch my daughter. Her immune system is not strong enough yet.

:)
K.

Regarding the response previous to mine, babies get exposed to enough germs from their own family touching them and breathing air in stores. With super bugs coming out and more and more sicknesses like RSV really showing their faces being safe rather than sorry is better. She will still get enough germs to build her immune system, especially as she gets older and her body can handle it better.

I have a 4 month old son, and haven't had many problems with this, but as I see it you have several options: you can politely say "Please don't touch my baby," "I'm sorry, she's been sick with vomiting and diarrhea and you probably shouldn't touch her" (if you don't mind lying), offer hand sanitizer as soon as they approach you, or just hug her to you with your arms over her hands and smile and keep walking. Good luck!

I hate that as well! I know that people mean well but it makes the babies sick! I always have baby wipes on hand to clean up little fingers after she has been touched, wipe up her hands while the person is still watching, that way you are sending a subtle message that you don't want your baby to get their germs!

We have a little guy who gets seriously sick rather than just getting a cold and we have tgo be very careful with him. I usually just explain to him that we don't our saliva with others since that gross. It usually keeps both him (21 months) and others from touching each other. If that doesn't work, I offer that he's just getting over something, or that he has a weak immune system and we're trying to pretect him. These responses have dramatically cut down on strangers touching. The idea of a sling might also help. Maybe one of the versatile ones that you can use in a bunch of positions as she can still see, but she'll still be closer to you, and thus harder to reach easily. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!

Hi J.!
When you go to the grocery store for example keep hand wipes next to her in the front carrier or in your pocket. They are nice to have on hand anyway to wipe the bars in front of her.Also if she is at the mall you can put one of those bug nettings around her stroller.But remember you don't want to totally keep her away from germs. Exposing her to things is the only way her little body can build up it's immune system.
Hope this helps!! Good luck!
p.s. You are very blessed to have such a sweet friendly baby!

J.,

Its not what you say its how you say it. Just be nice about it, plus you dont want random people touching your daughter. There are just to many things going around, set boundaries...

Take Care, E.

You don't have to let complete strangers touch your baby, despite what anyone says. She's your child, you're trying to protect her and that's admirable. Simpling asking people not to touch her is perfectly acceptable. It's not rude at all to say, "Please don't touch her." If it seems like people might get offended you could diffuse the situation by talking to your baby and say, "Can you give this nice woman a smile, sweetie?" or something along those lines that makes it clear you don't mind them admiring your baby, but that doesn't mean they can get so personal with her.
I feel your pain; I've got twin boys that everyone wants to see. A 15 minute errand now takes at least 45! I just say, "Oh please don't touch them. They get sick very easily." I have yet to come across someone who is offended by me saying that.
Good luck and good on you for trying to keep your daughter healthy:)

I just never really had a lot of people with the need to touch my kids when they were little bity, I did have tons tho that wanted to get in their face, which bothered me more than the touching.

The times that I did, if they looked fine then after they left I just used a wipe real fast on my little ones hands, but if they didn't look to clean or they just made me nervous then I just said that my little one is finally getting over a cold I just don't want to chance her getting sick again and they were fine and almost all of them were really understanding about that. I also say that even tho this one isn't my first I'm still like a first time mom, and just nervous about everything. Most people just kinda chuckle and tell me not to worry before to long i'll be "an ol pro". I think that works because then you're putting it on yourself and not on them, know what I mean? The looking busy with your little one is another good one too.

Also, I'm one of those baby lovers. I just love little babies, and who couldn't? However I HARDLY ever touch and I NEVER get in the face of anyones baby, and if I do feel the need to I ALWAYS ask if I can say Hi to their little one and if they say sure then I pull out my own hand-sanitizer, but even then I don't "paw" all over their little one. I ALMOST always just smile at the new mom and tell her how just too cute her new little one is while hardly even stopping.

My six year old is one of those kids that always wants to touch, hold, hug and kiss little babies. He stops me when he sees one WAY more often than I do. When he sees a baby he'll ask me if he can go say hi to the baby and I tell him that he MUST ask the baby's mommy FIRST and that he CAN NOT touch the baby becasue he may have "sick" germs on him and that we don't want to give any "sick" germs to the baby. He's VERY good about that and most moms thank me for teaching him to ask first and to not touch and then tell me how sweet he is.

I would try to be polite, kind and frim with people, then if you're dealing w someone who just doesn't get it then get a little rude if you need to.

If your hands are free you could always hold her hands when someone starts to approach you... I doubt they would try to touch her then, especially if your arms are kind of in between them and your baby it might keep them out of your 'bubble'- but still allow for them to pay you a compliment!

I wouldn't hesitate to be rude. I'm a total germ freak and when anyone would approach my baby I would say "please look but don't touch, it is so hard for babies to get sick." Most people didn't mind and if they gave me a dirty look, who cares. They aren't the ones staying up with a sick kid.

Oh, I remember that very clearly! I HATED that! It was a huge problem when my daughter was a baby, because she had a ton of blond hair, which seems to be unusual in babies, so EVERYONE wanted to "pet" her! Ugh! It grossed me out. I used to put her infant carseat on the front of the shopping cart, so she was sort of out in the open, and people always wanted to touch her. Worst of all, people would lift their toddlers up to look at her, and sometimes they would encourage their kids to "kiss the baby". It was always the kids who had runny noses, too. I was apalled at how little people seemed to understand boundaries and personal space when it comes to babies! I, too, hated to be rude, so I was too chicken to say anything to people. With my second, I got smart, and did what you are doing--using a front carrier. But I kept my son turned around so he faced me, not out. Most people won't get that close to you, and you can also tuck the baby's little hands in. Or maybe try a sling. Good luck, I know this is a rough one!

Just keep walking... It my seem rude at first, but you can say hi and keep walking... I have two little boys and one on the way that basically have white hair and are adorable (at least I hope the third will be just as adorable)... we get lots of comments and always have but if I keep going generally the public lets me keep going. It is easy to look busy when packing around kids.

I love to see cute babies, but it is totally inappropriate to touch someones child without permission especially at the age yours is and in a chest pack.... That would be weird for me on either side of the picture (as carrier or as toucher).

You can pick and choose who you want to stop for, but just smile and keep going... if you want or need to. Also talk to the baby, if you are focused on talking and playing with her hands as you walk people will not be able to touch her as much... When I go shopping I tell my boys even when they were babies about what we are buying or where we are going next... whatever kind of conversation that I could have with them to keep them happy and to enjoy the time I had with them. As they get older shopping isn't so bad with them either because they don't think they are getting ignored-so it isn't as boring.

Good Luck

I can tell that your child has not been really sick yet. Ever heard of the rotavirus? It is where your child has liquid diarrhea and can't keep anything down. You get this from people not washing their hands after going to the bathroom. I have a 14 mo old that is going in for surgery number 14 in two weeks (a medical condition from birth) This surgery ended up being pushed off three weeks because my son got the rotavirus and was hospitalized for 5 days. At one point, a resident Dr. figured out how much he stooled for his body weight and then calculated that for her body weight. She was about 5'5" and weighed max of 110 lbs. She figured if she put that much stool out for her body weight she would have pooped out 11 litters of poop in a 24 hour period. That is almost 3 gallons of poop in one day!
I have a very beautiful baby boy. He is 14 mo old but looks like a 6 mo old and is constantly being touched. After watching him suffer like he did. I am rude!!!! If some one comes up and I know they are going to touch I simply ask nicely that they not touch my baby as he has a surgery coming up and he can't get sick. For you I would just simply state "please don't touch my baby as I am trying to keep her healthy" or "please look with your eyes not your hands". Any one with kids will understand, even the old Grandmas...who for me even if I have him in his car seat with a blanket over they still have to pull it off and look and touch. I have learned to talk fast enough to explain that he has had a rough life and most will not attempt to touch.
As for airborne viruses like RSV (which we got from the hospital at three days old). It is a 10 foot radius. If you sneeze, the cold goes 10 foot. So if you keep your kid 10 foot from people who are apparently sick, this will help also.
Good luck, and when it comes to your kid, it is ok to be rude enough to get your point across!

I feel your pain!!! I'm a total germ freak, and I had the same problem with my babies and strangers. I even had one lady at church grab my baby out of my arms and start kissing her all over!!!! She had bright red lip marks all over her head!! I was not happy!!! When she was a newborn I tried to keep those little baby gloves on her. As my kids got older I just simply said to people "don't touch her hands, please". They may have thought I was rude, but I didn't care. I think it is very rude of people to touch babies hands because they know that they stick them right in their mouths. The other thing I would do is if I saw someone going for their hands I would grab the babies hands with my own before they did. Good luck.

hi.
you don't have to be rude. just be informative. infants don't usually develop their own immune system until about 9-12 months of age. that's why we nurse to supplement for it. also say, please don't touch her, i hear there's something bad going around(and let's face it, there probable is!) and i would hate for her to catch cold. good luck.

Let them touch her. It won't hurt. Do you really think that all through time, people didn't touch others babies? It is normal. The general public is not as "dirty" as they are made out to be. I myself think it is really gross too when people don't wash their hands. I wash every time. But I can also tell you that I don't wipe with my hands, so the amount of germs I get from NOT touching anything but toilet paper isn't going to be that huge.

You are not being rude --- the strangers are being rude. I would just keep some sanitary wipes and/or gel nearby and clean her up before she sticks her hands to her mouth. Also, kindly tell people that your time is limited shopping with a baby so you've got to keep moving before she has a meltdown. But really, I think you and she will survive.

I know exactly what you mean. I have 14 month twin girls and get a lot of people stopping me too. One of my daughters actually has a heart problem so I get kind of annoyed when people tough her because I can't afford for her to get sick. They are usually in a stroller so I control the situation by maneuvering them around. If you have her in a front carrier and people are coming up to you, I would take your daughter's hands so no one can touch them. I actually have a sticker on their stroller telling people not to touch my children but I don't know if it makes a difference or not. Sometimes that's the price you pay for having cute children. Just make sure you wipe her hands after people touch her. Good luck.

S.

I know exactly how your feel! The same thing happens with my 3 month old son. The other day in fact, he almost caused a car wreck. The people started to look at him, and stopped their car and almost got rear ended. So I will be reading your responses that you get to get ideas. I was thinking of asking the same question.

lol Oh!! I remember those days!! When I read your post suddenly I pictured a sign on the baby carrier "Please Do Not Feed or Touch the Baby"
or "I BITE"
use a bit of humor to get the point across without being rude...lol. not just the germs but I would NOT be uncomfortable with anyone touching my kid when they are strapped to my chest...HELLO??? I'm curious to see what you come up with--one lady at walmart wouldn't leave us alone, and I started sniffing and said EWW BABY!! That's a nasty one. and made a retreat. she didn't follow. lol.
hey how about "you touch it, you change the diaper"
maybe the sign would be enough to shock them as they get close to not grab for the kid but do a blink blink instead

hi J., my girlfriend suggested to me to get the daily wear mittens for my daughter's hands..........

I'm surprised they do that in a carrier. When I wear my daughter in a sling, they come up and talk to her, but don't touch her. Are you using a sling? If not, maybe try that because it's worked for me so far. Otherwise, you can handle it a few different ways.

First, you can just let them touch her and carry hand sanitizer w/ you and put that on her when they leave.

Second, you can jerk away and say something like "Sorry, she's been sick and I certainly wouldn't want to get you sick." Since you are saying it's YOUR daughter that's sick (even if she isn't) they won't feel like you're accusing them of anything and might not feel you're being rude.

Third, you could touch them on their face or something and say "oh how cute" see how they like it (okay, that's the snarky response, but wouldn't it be fun?).

Or finally, you could politely explain that you don't want anyone touching your daughter unless she or you has given them permission. They will probably think you're rude for that one, but they ARE being rude and maybe they need to learn to keep their hands to themselves.

I've never understood why personal space rules don't apply w/ babies when they are the ones who need it more than we do! HTH!

Reminds me of the time I had my baby on a flight and the lady next to me was all over him and gave him ice pieces out of her cup... GROSS! And she was a little "rough around the edges". At the time I didn't know what to say and I figured the damage was already done. Horrors!

Are you a "Monk" fan? Carry "wipes"!

You can invite them to use it before touching, or use it on her after they do.

(My daughter has the same problem when she takes her 3 month baby out. For the first while she could tuck baby away in the sling, but baby is starting to protest.)