The Sex of My Baby and My Reaction- Need Some Wisdom

Updated on March 18, 2013
I.X. asks from San Clemente, CA
46 answers

We were not told the sex of the baby at yesterdays ultrasound, but had the technician write it on paper so we can have a reveal party next month when my parents are here. The technician was a student and not very quick or sly. I"m pretty sure I saw a nut sack. I have two little girls and have had a strong premonition that this was a boy.
Please don't lay into me, I need some help and encouragement as I seem to be basing my feeling on my known experiences. I'm having a hard time making the mental hurdle into excitement for an experience I've never had. Can you moms please tell me how much i'm going to love this little boy and how much I will love him just like I love my little girls? Logically I know I will, but emotionally I'm having a hard time picturing what it will be like raising a little boy.

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So What Happened?

Please know there is no disappointment , nor am I particularly anxious about it. We chose to have another child and we knew full well that we would be thrilled either way. I came from three sister and had only one male cousin that was young. I don't have a lot of experience with boys. Frogs, snails, and puppy dog tails right? I'm getting used to the idea.

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answers from Boca Raton on

Little boys are wonderful . . . I have two who are now big boys LOL. And I wouldn't have it any other way, even though I grew up in an all-girl family except my dad. I always thought I'd have girls.

Moms and sons are extremely close if the relationship is good. And you will have new insight into the male brain. My sons have made me appreciate men so much more.

You will be in awe of him, and he of you.


10 moms found this helpful


answers from Boise on

Honestly raising a boy from a girl really isn't different.

I have raised my kids to be strong individuals, not strong girls or strong boys. Just good people. Their gender just happens to be a part of them, not what defines them.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Oh my goodness I have two boys and I would not trade them for the world. They are not as much drama. And so, so, so much cheaper than girls.

4 moms found this helpful

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answers from St. Louis on

I had two girls when I found out I was pregnant the 3rd time. I just knew it was going to be another girl. I found out at our ultrasound that I was in fact having a boy. That little boy is now 6 and is such a HUGE blessing to me. The mother/son bond is amazing with little boys and their mama's. You are going to be FLOORED! :) I had only one sister growing up and then two girls. I didn't think I would know what to do with a little boy. He is SO much fun.
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will be SO happy. :)

10 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbia on

Boys are so wonderful!

Talk to your husband and latch onto HIS excitement. Yay! A kid who won't scream if dirt gets on him! Yay! I can finally buy non-pink clothes! Yay! An excuse to go fishing and hunting and 4-wheeling! Yay! Monster truck rallies! Yay! BOY stuff!!!

Just remember: Boys are a handful until about age 6....then they mellow. Girls are exactly the opposite. :-)

ETA: Pick up the book "Wild at Heart" and read it with your hubby. It will give such insight into parenting boys. There are also other awesome books out there: "Boys Will Be Boys" and "Raising Up A Modern Day Knight."

What we give our boys is important....and it IS different than what girls need.

10 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

What I want to do, really, is preach against stereotypes, and then be a hypocrite and indulge in some stereotyping. Because both have a grain of truth.

First of all, you haven't met this little guy yet. You are having a child, not a stereotype, and you are going to have a little boy like no other, unique in the history of boys, because every child is unique, and this one will be yours to love. Just because he's (probably) a boy doesn't tell you much at all.

I have to say, too, I absolutely LOVE having a boy. Everything he imagines -- all the scenarios that run through his little head -- are thrilling and amazing and exciting. "The dragon is taking a trip to Saturn on a giant spaceship, with a quick detour to battle eleven million, nine hundred and fifty-two evil titans from the volcano galaxy." Whoo-hoo, let's go. When I compare that to the imaginative world that so many girls are stuck with -- Why, how wonderful, the beautiful princess is putting on yet another beautiful pink dress -- I can't believe I ever wanted a girl.

I also love the ways my son is different from me. He's logical and clear-headed and a sequential thinker. (Not that I'm not, but his little guy brain IS quicker to find the straight line from point A to point B than mine ever was.) This morning, he woke up at 6 am and just HAD to know the answer to 222 divided by 12. ASAP. (Which, if you're interested, is 18.5. With a little coaching, he figured it out, sans calculator.)

And, the other stereotype is, so much less drama. Boys just love their moms forever, no questions asked. Whatever unique, extraordinary personality he has, you're in for a whirlwind of fun.

9 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

Oh darling. I have two girls then a boy. That little man will wiggle into your heart so deep, someday you'll look back and wonder HOW did I ever doubt it?

It's OK! Pregnancy wakes us all a lil wackadoo in our thinking every now and then. You are facing an unknown and its really not that unusual to feel a little apprehension!!!

When I was having baby #2 (a girl) I was SURE she was a boy. I felt so different and we had a beautiful little girl already. I couldn't IMAGINE that I would have another girl. When we did the ultrasound and were told it was a girl, I was soooo disappointed I simply couldn't picture having another girl. Fast forward...she is our Sunshine. She is SO very different from her sister and I'm so happy that God had her in his plans for me. Those feelings really didn't last long after i got used to the idea. Still it was hard for me to imagine another girl.

Looking back now I am somewhat saddened and ashamed that I had that reaction but really it was just me trying to wrap my head around change happening in our little family...something that I wasn't really sure about. My heart loved her undeniably and instantly.

I have been in your shoes in a way, and I'm here to tell you if it is a boy he WILL be the love of your life. He will fit in your family like he's always been there and you will wonder why you were ever worried. Someday,his smile will melt your heart, hearing him say Mommy, I love you.

Good luck! I hope this helps! Congrats on your little one!!!

7 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I am much closer to my son than my daughter (they are now 19 and 17.)
I promise you gender has NOTHING to do with it.
My daughter and I love each other very much but we started butting heads when she turned 10 and pretty much haven't stopped since :-(
My younger daughter is almost 14 and we tend to get along fairly well but once she starts high school this fall, who knows.
ENJOY your little boy! For the most part they are a joy and best of all, DRAMA FREE!!!

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Jane, open that envelope with just your husband now so that you can start to get your head around it. You can still do a big reveal for the family. But it sounds like its really stressing you out. So, open it now so you can either a) officially know its a boy and start sorting out how you feel about that, or b) find out that its a girl and you dont have to worry about any of this!
No one needs to know that you opened it unless you want to tell them!

I have 2 boys. I always thought I would have a girl. But it does not seem like that would be the case. I dont even have enough words to describe how much I love my 2 little boys. They are the sweetest, funniest, most loving boys and I am the luckiest mom in the world to have them. You will love your son every bit as much as you love your daughters, I promise!

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I love my boys. I only have two kiddos and both have the Y chromosome:)

they are loving and sweet and want to be momma's helper. Remember that phase where your girls were "daddy's girls"? boys do that with mom!!! Yay! You will get a little cuddle bug who wants to be with you and hang on every word and think you hung the moon:)

boys play very much like girls, just the tools are different. Instead of barbie and babies it is army men and stuffed animals. They love balls and running, cars and books.

You will have a great time and you will find it comes to you. Try not to psych yourself out.

Have fun.

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I never had a brother. I only have a son. And I love him more than words. He will be 6 next month, and he tells me at least once a week "I love you so much". He's been drawing pictures and hearts for me at aftercare. It's amazing. You will love him as much as your girls because it's your child. Now, he will be different because he is a boy, and there might be a different "flavor" because of that, but the amount will be the same. Every child is different. Do you love one girl more than another? They are female, yes, but they are not the same.

You love them for who they are, but you love them with all your heart. That's it.

ADD: L-freaking-O-L Leslie M (Just one to worry about!)

7 moms found this helpful


answers from Salinas on

First I would open that envelope so you know for sure who to expect.

Second I would listen to my head not my heart.

You already know, intellectually, that you will love whoever comes along, more than life itself. You already know that each child is so vastly different different from any other person, so completely who they are meant to be that, boy or girl, you will have a perfectly unique, singular relationship with a new PERSON. You will not question this persons gender after you meet, you will not wish he or she was someone else. You will bask in the joy, love and relief that this little healthy human has joined your family and you get to spend the rest of your life getting to know each other. Congratulations!

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Rockford on

I think this is a normal feeling/reaction! So, don't beat yourself up too much, ok? Let me tell you, when this lil boy (if in fact it is a boy) gets here, you will love him more than you can even imagine and I wouldn't be surprised if he was your "baby!" Trust me! Boys are so different in so many good ways than girls! I have one of each and I can not imagine it any other way!

Best of luck and congrats, no matter what you are having!

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Salt Lake City on

All children and their dispositions are different, whether they are boys or girls. If you have a boy, it does not mean that he is going to be a rowdy, rambunctious, messy child. Just as girls are not always into dressing up and being clean. My personal experience was that my boy was my easiest baby and a pretty darn easy child, but I believe it is just that he has a very laid back personality. (He also has always been the most tidy child). One of my girls is very much into dress up and sparkly things and is quiet and helpful, the other is more rambunctious and free spirited and into superheroes and fixing things.
I guess what I am getting at is, rather than thinking "boys are this way and girls are that way" or feeling like a boy will be a whole new experience, think of it in the terms that no matter what, it will be a new experience, and you get to meet a whole new person and add a totally different personality to your family. I think that is so exciting!

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Sioux City on

I loved dressing my son. I could find tons of cute boy clothes and they are far less expensive than little girl clothes. I loved the cowboy stage when he just couldn't even sleep without these tiny boots sitting by his bed. He stole my heart quick! I love to see him grow and seeing my husband in him. He would come up with wonderful stories of the world that my daughters would never even ponder. He enjoys books about adventures that my daughters would have shunned because there is no princess. He brings a new perspective to our lives. He was more laid back than my girls. I can't tell you how nice it is to have at least one that I don't have to spend time on combing and braiding hair. There was no fighting over bows and ponies. He could imagine a potato was a car and be entertained. He didn't want polly pockets or petshop toys with tiny toys and cry when they got lost. There is just so much less drama! Not to mention just wait until your husband gets his hands on that boy. We will have a fella to hang with and to see those little one copy their father just melts ya. You are going to love this little fella!!!!

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Sacramento on

Believe me when I say that you will love him with every bit of you heart that you love your girls. I have a son and a daughter and I do love them both as much as the other, BUT I have a different relationship and bond with both of them.
Boys are so much different than girls in their energy and the way they do things. It is so much nature and not as much about nurture as I always thought. But because you already have girls he's likely to grow up sweet because he'll be raised by 3 mommies.
I don't know what I would do without my son. He brings me so much affection, joy and love every day.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Oh my goodness are you gonna LOVE your lil' boy!

He will be your SON and you will revel in EVERYTHING he does! He will be amazing at everything and you will be hard pressed to find any male on the planet who comes anywhere NEAR coming close to as handsome as he is!

You will be in awe of how he climbs things, jumps off things, teaches himself how to take off his shirt (it's been my experience that *most* boys/men each have their own 'style' of doing it) and you will LOVE it! You will cheer like no other when he gets his first hit in baseball or makes his first basket in basketball or whatever sport he grows to love! You will even secretly smile the first time you find what appears to be a rock, a train spike and what was once string cheese in his pants pocket in the laundry!

He will be, in your mind, just the best walking, talking advertisement for COOL you have EVER seen!


Just you wait...

Little boys love their Mommies for FOREVER!!!!!!!

Then he will grow up to be the most handsome of handsome grown man, like EVER who will still LOVE his Mom FOR FOREVER!!!!!

~Boys Rule The World!
Mom/Auntie to 6 boys and 1 girl
*Can you tell I am a wee bit biased towards the boys!?

Disclaimer: This is coming from a mom who secretly cried in the bathroom in the doctors office directly after finding out I was having a boy for my first born child...I wanted a girl so bad!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

My first two children were boys. THANK GOD!
They are amazing, fun, smart, funny...I just love them. They cuddled, they sang, they read books, they are rough and tumble. REally and truly, LOVE my boys.
Then I had a girl. gulp. She scares me half to death. I love her to pieces too, don't get me wrong. She is sweet, smart, loves to read, loves her brothers, loves her papa, is gentle, is funny....but she's a girl. And turning into a bit of a princess.
And I fiercly love her.
But I don't exactly know what to "do" with a girl. I suck at hair, I suck at tea parties, I don't like princess stuff, I am just not a girly girl....AND that's what I got!!
I am learning to be a mom to a girl. AGAIN, let me reiterate how much I love her...I just don't understand her. And she's TWO! Oh my god.....
YOu will love this boy (IF it's a boy) for all the differences! He will be fabulous and a great addition to your family. He will change you and make you grow as a mom.
I know....I have changed and grown a lot!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

My sister was sure she was having a girl and wanted girls. I was hoping for a boy. We got the opposite, joke's on us. I admit, I cried when I found out DD was a girl. BUT I will also say that we both got over it and neither one of us would trade our kids. Ever. I adore DD. She is the best daughter for *me*. The right mix of ribbons and reptiles. And my sister? She wants her next one to be a boy, too.

Yes, you will love him. You will love him differently, just as you love each daughter differently. But he will be yours and he will steal your heart. That is my prediction.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Oh my goodness, how I love my boys!

I grew up with one sister. She married 10 yrs before me and had two girls. I knew girls, or thought I did, so well. You know how you really don't know your own culture till you see somewhere else? It's that way with girls.
By having boys I not only knew males much better, but understood girls much better.

They are pretty busy and spontaneous and NEED you so much more, when they are little. Most are not manipulative by nature and that is refreshing. What you see is what you get. When they tell you they love you, they mean it. They get mad and get over it. Again, refreshing.
There is no subtext. Where as girls are always thinking and planing and one step ahead, when you have a boy, you will understand that most of that thinking is a waste of time! Girls think that boys care. Ha!

That said, everybody has their own personality. You will find good stuff and not so good stuff in all of us. Prepare to be more spontaneous than you ever dreamed of being!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Little boys are great!!! I have two myself - 3 and 6 months! Mama's and baby boys have such a special bond - you will adore it. And I love watching my sons with their daddy, makes my heart melt. Don't worry, like everyone else seems to be saying - once you see your precious little guy for the first time you'll fall in love right away. I actually might feel how you are feeling if we had a girl....I wouldn't know what to do with one! Lol! Good Luck!!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

Were I in your situation, the first thing I would do is open up that envelope and be sure I was stressing myself out about something that was actually, factually true.:)

It's good that you are finding out now, so you will be ready to meet your baby and not be dealing with the surprise of gender at the time of birth.

I thought (wished/hoped?) that I was pregnant with a girl, and surprise! A boy! We came away from the ultrasound excited and I was suddenly grateful for the gift of having a boy. My relationship with my own mother was fairly fraught and I knew I wouldn't be re-living it or trying to correct it through parenting my own daughter. Lots of baggage just fell off to the side.

I was a nanny for quite a few girls, and the boys I'd nannied for--most gave me a run for my money, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I just decided to raise my son as I would have raised *a child* regardless of gender. Good discipline, lots of love and fun times, did the things I wanted to do with him (exploring nature, going to the park, sharing my interests in good books, gardening and cooking) while also following his lead on things he found interesting: fountains and pumps; dinosaurs and learning the history of the earth and life; now it's Legos and drawing comics and his obsession with Star Wars (even though he hasn't seen it).

I expect from him the same manners and behavior as I would a girl. In that, I mean that I raised him to be himself but I don't excuse hitting/violent behaviors as 'boys will be boys'. He likes to play guns, but may not aim them at us or at living things. I find this to be common-sense parenting stuff. I don't automatically assume that some things are better for him because he's a boy, and I don't steer him toward 'boy toys', but to offer a wide variety of experiences I think *any* child would like or benefit from, boy or girl.

He's a sweetheart. Nearly 6, Kiddo is openly affectionate and loving, will love to cuddle one more time before I say goodbye to him at kindergarten, and then he will be talking to his friends about playing "zombies" or "super kitties" or "ninjas". I love him for the person he is, a 'little light' someone said recently. I have some very good, deep relationships with a couple of the girls I helped to raise (and we are still in each others lives-- from the time they were born until now-- one in college, the other a high school freshman-- we are all like family to each other) and I am glad for those experiences too.

Both genders have some of their own inherent challenges. Caring for girls was easy and familiar, caring for boys had been challenging-- but caring and loving my own kiddo is a whole other world. You may love him differently than you love your girls (whom I am guessing you love each in their own ways for who they are), and there is plenty of love to go around.:)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I have two boys and adore them. I am not going to lay it on you because I was disappointed to not have a girl. I am not disappointed about either of my boys, but I would have liked to experience a girl too! Obviously that wasn't my destiny. I've decided it's okay to feel I have missed having a girl because it doesn't make me love the boys I have any less.

I think you will adore your boy and adore the new experience. I don't know that, but I think it will be true. Little boys are sweet and love their Mommies like no other when they are little. Around 4 years old they want to marry Mommy when they grow up (okay, so later they find that disgusting, but it's sweet while it lasts).

Before you had your girls that was an experience you never had. So now you will have another new adventure. :)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

Right there with you! I have a little girl and found out about a month ago that we're having a little boy. I wasn't disappointed when I found out... more bewildered. I have no idea how to raise a little boy. I don't have any words of advice, just a note to say that you're not the only one who feels this way! Like the other moms say, we'll love our little guys too!

On a totally shallow note, girls' clothes are infinitely cuter than boys' clothes... that's the only down side that I'm seeing so far! :)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I have 3 boys, and am pregnant with baby #4 (gender unknown so far). Up to this point I've had so many moms tell me, "Oh, you're so lucky you just have boys--girls are so much DRAMA!" So, lol, I'm a bit nervous from the other end to might end up with more drama than we currently have. My boys are just as cuddly and lovable as any little girl I know.

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answers from Los Angeles on

Your world will be so complete.
Boys AND girls are fantatic, fun, neat, loving in their diff ways.
You will be surprised.
He will complete your family & give you a diff perspective on life.
My SD was into all the fun, girly things. When I had a boy I wasn't sure
what things we would do together. Well, we have a ball. He shows me a
diff world & keeps me active. He's very engaged, notices all the small
things in life & nature.
There's isn't the drama that we girls can bring.
Everything is pretty much how you see it.
Be prepared to be pleasantly surprised and shown an entirely diff world.
They are both fun, exciting, loving creatures.
I am beyond happy. Beyond thrilled. I have the best of both worlds &
couldn't have designed my life better if it wa left up to me to do so.
Keep your mind & heart open. You'll see how wonderful it will be. :)

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answers from Columbus on

I think it's just because you're used to girls but I would bet you're going to have a fine time raising a boy. AND your girls are going to love having a little brother.

Just give yourself some time to let it sink in and I'm sure when you see that little bundle of joy, you'll be fine.

My first was a boy and three years later I had a girl. In comparison, my son has been sooooooooooooooooo much easier than my daughter!! I can remember thinking I didn't care what I had, I just prayed for healthy; I figured I'll love whatever God gives me. I was right!!

Good luck!!

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answers from Sacramento on

I honestly felt a bit of panic when I learned our first child was a boy. "OMG, what do I do with a boy?" was my first thought.

Get some books on raising boys (assuming you get the official confirmation). Get your mindset ready for a new adventure. It's definitely different than raising a girl, but it's a new kind of fun. You'll spend a lot more time in the dirt, playing trucks and trains, and learning the names of Transformers. :)

Have fun!

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answers from Kansas City on

You will raise the little boy with love like you do the girls. You may have some major events that you didn't have with the girls. One of our boys hammered out the pins in the door and it was hanging by one top one when he was 2 1/2 and things such as that happen with boys and not so much with girls. Girls on the other hand have their own issues and more emotions usually. Both are so much joy and just look at this baby as another little one who needs you and your love and not so much as how to raise him. You will do fine with him. Boys are amazing too.

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answers from Jacksonville on

No matter how you feel now, it will all change as soon as you hold him in your arms.

We thought we were having a girl with our first born... right up until 7 days past due date. We went in for another non-stress test and were chatting with the doctor, and he mentioned the "so did you want to know for sure what you're having?" (the sonographer had told us at 16 weeks that she was 95% sure it was a girl---but no discussions since then and no more ultrasounds).... we said, um... we were told pretty confidently it was a girl, but YES we want to know!! He said, well, it's a boy.
Talk about shock.

I was very numb emotionally about it. It scared me because I really felt like I already knew my baby, and suddenly, I didn't. At all.

But once he was born, it was wonderful.

Then, with our 2nd, we were told the same (95% sure it's a girl) and I spent the majority of the pregnancy hoping they were wrong again, because I was so comfortable with our son that I was hoping for another and was scared of having a girl. I'm not the frilly, girly type--and was scared of raising a frilly girly daughter. Well... we have a son and a daughter. And I couldn't be happier about it. One of each. And daughter is a lot like me--no frills, no lace, no drama.

It will be fine. You're letting your mind create worry that you don't need. Let it go and look forward to whatever sex you have. You will love them.

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answers from Reno on

When i was pregnant both my hubby and i wanted boy first, girl second....well that ultrasound stated different and our first child was a little girl. my hubby was so scared with her (he was convinced he got a girl first for all his sins. lol) but she is almost 11 and amazing.
when we got pregnant the second time i had hoped for a girl because i was so comfortable with our daughter, well our ultrasound revealed a little boy.
8 years later, that little boy is such a gift ( and a mess. lol)
i love my boy and girl, they are amazing and i am so grateful.
i am super excited for you, no matter what your blessing turns out to be.

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answers from Oklahoma City on

Boys are just a little different. He'll look up at you some time not too long after he's born and smile at you, gas or not, you'll know it was just for you. Your heart will melt and that love with gush in your heart and you won't be able to stop crying from the overflow of emotions.

Even if it doesn't happen right when he's put in your arms at first, it will come.

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answers from Atlanta on

I'm not quite sure I understand -- you don't actually know if it's a girl or boy, right. If this is the case you may want to take a look at the paper since you're having such unsure thoughts and feelings about a boy.

I get it that you're pretty sure you saw a sack and had a premonition, but you don't really know though.

I get what you're saying, some people want boys some want girls. I have two of each so guess it's easy for me to say, but, does it really matter? Why is it hard emotionally to think of raising a boy? If it were me, I think I'd try to understand that first, I'd ask myself what am I afraid of.

Boys are great! I'm sure you'll love your little boy just as much. You're just unsure of it because you're use to girls and you know what it's like to be a girl. This sweet little guy will not only bring new life from heaven but he'll be adventure to raise. This could be the best yet. What a time you'll have discovering unchartered territories. I love the way little boys play with their cars, everything can be a car don't ya know. They're always ready to battle the dragon and the bad guys with their swords of gold. Their quick smiles and laughter at everything around them, life's a joy.

Let your Spirit Speak and simply Love and accept and give great Thanks for this precious soul who has choosen you, this one who is entering your family, your life.

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answers from Minneapolis on

I have a boy & a girl. Both were different experiences but yet the same. They're really not that much different until they start really showing their personality. For my kids I love them both so much and equally. I could not picture my life without either of them. My son is almost 9 and I love reading with him, talking about Legos and Minecraft with him. My daughter is 6 and I love playing dolls with her, reading with her. But because she has an older brother she still enjoys "boy" things such as Legos, picking up toads, bugs & worms in the backyard. My son likes playing tea party with her and dolls with her. Your two little girls will love having a little brother.

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answers from Richmond on

i had already raised one girl( my younger sister) so i knew that i would have an easier time raising another girl ( been there, done it once already)my other half /midwife was thrilled when he discovered i was pregnant, and downright goofy when we discovered it was a girl, not a boy. however i had to deal with a profound amount of extremely rude people who thought i should try again, because ( supposedly) a little girl just wasnt good enough (thank g#d no one told joan of arc that!) i, too thought it was a girl, before anyone told me that indeed it was.
K. h.

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answers from Los Angeles on

I don't think it will make a big difference unless you chose to make it one. The difference between each individual child is much bigger than the difference between boys and girls. My little boy plays with trucks and doll strollers, and teddy bears, and he wears shirts with cars on it but insists on hair clips and tights to go with that. He is flamboyant and dances much, and plays outside in the dirt - like all children when you let them.
You'll love your little boy just the same and notice it's not that different at all. It's just a human.

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answers from Los Angeles on

Both my sister and I had similar reactions initially, but once we met our little guys, we fell madly in love with them. One thing that really helped when I had my second, a girl, was to read the book Siblings Without Rivalry, as it gave me insight into how to 'create a team', so to speak, and keep the differences between them as strengths versus friction (if that makes sense). My son now takes care of 'his baby', and it is really not all sports and videos. My son and I go to a music class and listen to all of John Williams' movie themes together and we discovered the Indiana Jones museum exhibit, etc... He even was Yoda for his first Halloween. One thing my sister's therapist said was, 'I'm glad you aren't having a girl because you are trying to replicate your idea of a child, rather than allowing the child to become their own person.' And that really helped her step back and enjoy him for who he was. It is going to be SO great, by the way. Congratulations~!

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answers from Peoria on

I sort of understand where you are coming from. My second was a boy, and I was wondering how I could relate to him. Would I understand where he was coming from? Would I be ok with not being able to dress him up in pretty clothes? Would I be able to play boy stuff, like cars or dinosaurs or whatever?

My son is cuddly and has a fun sense of humor and is so easy going. Yes, it has taken some adjustment to dress him in sweats or elastic-waist pants (because jeans are ouchie) and the fact that he loves video games and wants only video game/action figure t-shirts. But you find the humor in it and you accept it and you love it, because he is your son. Believe me, boys can be much more "all about M." than girls.

The way I see it - it's like winning the lottery. I get to do all the girl stuff with my daughter and all the boy stuff with my son. I hope you win the lottery too because boys are absolutely wonderful.

Your question made me think of my sister, who, unfortunately, desperately wanted a girl and was so vocal about it. Thank God she had one, because I'm not sure she would have been able to love a boy the same. A boy didn't fit into her vision of girly stuff and bows and touling and ballet. I felt sorry for her, and I hope you are more open minded and open hearted.

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answers from Knoxville on

I felt exactly the same way and didn't have either!. I was pregnant with twins and we never could tell what baby A was until she arrived. I have two girls and was so relieved! I felt that I wouldn't have a clue what to do with a boy.
Well, now that the girls are almost 5, I am missing having a little one and would love to have a little boy, BUT- I am 43, with diabetes, PCOS and other health issues that are not conducive to a safe pregnancy, not to mention about to be divorced, so I will just enjoy my friends little boys.

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answers from Hartford on

You don't really know what you saw, and a premonition means next to nothing at this point. You're putting the cart before the horse.

I knew beyond a doubt that my first two were girls before the doctor confirmed it/they were born. With my third, I swore she was going to be a boy and was shocked beyond belief when the ultrasound said girl. I didn't believe it until she was born. And I'm pretty sensitive.

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answers from Honolulu on

Before I even got pregnant with my firstborn... I had wanted a boy.
It was just me.
I really wanted to have a boy.
Well, my firstborn was a girl. We found out at my ultrasound. We wanted to know the gender at that time. Not be surprised.
Well, I was like... okaaaayyyyy... hmmmm..... a.... girl..... gosh darn.
But as the pregnancy went along, I got really excited and happy about it.
And when my daughter was born, I was happy and loved her as any Mom would love their child.
My daughter is so fantastic. Even if she was a difficult baby.
She is just, herself and has so many qualities that remind me of my late Dad. Even relatives would say so.
Anyway, I was instantly bonded with her.

My 2nd born is my son.
So I was lucky and have both genders.
And I adore him too.
We found out the gender at my ultrasound.
At that point, I was so used to having a girl. And even if I had always wanted a boy from before, I was then hesitant about having a boy! Go figure. But alas.... having a boy, is so great!
They are little entities all their own. And so unique.
And my daughter and son... are close, and like 2 peas in a pod. Even if they are 4 years apart. They are, very close.

As a Mom, I am close to both of my kids... but in different ways. Not in favorite ways, but in just different ways. Both my kids know I do not favor one over the other, but that they are close to me in their own unique way. They each have their own ways to bond with me.

I so adore each of my kids, but in different ways. A boy is a certain way with their Mommy and close to her, in a different way than a girl is. But they both have their own closeness, with Mommy. At least that is how it is in my family. And they are both also close to their Dad, my Husband. In their own way, too. Its real cute.

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answers from Los Angeles on

I just gave birth to my second child..a boy...4 months ago. I have a 6 year old girl and hoped for another girl. When we got the news during the ultrasound I actually cried. Fortunately I had a few months to get use to the idea and by his delivery I was so excited. He is very different from my daughter (I suspect even another girl would be very different from her as well).and most importantly.... I am TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM! I look forward to learning about him and little boys. Good luck!

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answers from San Diego on

I have 2 girls and a boy (my boy is my youngest). I LOVED having girls and when I got pregnant with my 3rd I really didn't care what we were having but thought it would definitely be fun to have a house of girls, especially since I don't have any sisters. But, having a son is the biggest blessing! From day 1 he will steal your heart! Changing diapers is a little different at first, but now when I change my niece's diaper it seems weird! I can't tell you enough how blessed you are to be having a son. He will amaze you!


answers from San Diego on

You're going to love it - the experience and of course you'll love him - you already know that. I think your question has more to do with what it will be like - will it be just as fun, how will it be the same, different, etc.

Boys are (usually) more active and wild - they'd rather play a game with swords, battles, bad guys, superheroes, etc. than sit and play quietly (most of the time). They are silly and crazy and wild. And wonderful. He will be Mama's little boy. He will think you're the most beautiful woman that ever lived and he will look for you in ever girl he dates. You will be ruler by which he measures women (no pressure there eh?). He will push your limits in ways different than the girls. Girls and boys - they are so much the same and yet completely different from each other and you love everything about them.

Some funny/sweet examples of me and my son:

Me giving my son lots of hugs and kisses: Why do Mommies love to hug and snuggle so much?

Son: Because they love their boys.

Me, encouraging my son who dresses himself in the morning in the most creative way possible while wearing a uniform: well, now, aren't you super handsome today, I love the two shirts you put together.

Him: And Mommy, you sure do look beautiful in your pajamas.

Me: laughing

Him: No, you really do.

Your son will make you feel like the most beautiful person in the world...until he points out a zit on your face and asks what it is:) He is a kid after all.

Try to let it go, you'll be fine.



answers from Las Vegas on

I thought I was going to have a girl, and at the ultrasound found out it was a boy. I was disappointed because of what I was expecting (and did cry a little), but got over it quickly. Now that I have a son (4 year old), I will say that it is awesome. He has some friends who are little girls, and I am so glad to have a boy. It's nice that you have some time to prepare for it before the big reveal, but you are going love this little boy so much, they really are great.



answers from Los Angeles on

I don't know what to tell you, except that I have two girls and one boy. And, while I love all my kids equally, I feel differently about each in different ways. And as they get older, I find that I treasure different things about each. And, I don't know why, but my son (the middle child) has the strongest hold on my heart. Maybe it's that mother-son bond - I don't know. But my feelings for him are clearly different than for my girls. I'm pretty sure you'll fall in love immediately with your little boy the minute your eyes meet! :)

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