The Mother in Law

I know you've gotten a LOT of response, I read like the first 15, but I never heard anyone say--maybe you and the baby can stay a nice hotel? If anyone is going to---maybe that way you could relax, sleep in, nap, and join them for food when you want to!! No kicking anyone out---just a thought from the other side...
Good Luck either way--what ever you decide will be the best as long as you decided something!!

okay you'll be talking to them on the phone right?! So you mention to them that " Since the house is always so crowded when everyone is here ____ and I thought it would be so much easier if you guys stayed at ______, I went online and they have a really great rate,. Nip it in the bud now girl, while you still can !!!

This is taking off of what Cora M said about dairy...my second child was colicky & I found that if I cut diary out of MY diet, it relieved the colic. It was true for me & may be the perfect excuse for you!

S.,
Congrats on the new baby! I have been in similar situations. My inlaws live in a 2 million dollar home on a golf course-but-whenever they come to visit they have always slept on an air mattress in our living room. Why? might you ask? Because it is FAMILY. You don't put family OUT of your home in a hotel. (Would you to your parents?-I know I would be extremely upset if my husband asked me to tell my parents to just get a hotel room)
I will give you a few ideas.
When it comes to no open chairs(do you not have a table and chairs?) maybe get some cheap fold out chairs.
When it comes to food,(I dont eat the stuff my mother in law cooks, and she knows that) Just say "This looks delicious-but-I'm trying to eat very healthy with breastfeeding, and losing the extra baby weight,, I'm just going to make a nice big salad"

If space is that big a problem, is there other family members with a bigger house they could stay at nearby?
If it's about you wanting your son to get some pool time in, the go visit Hamilton pool, (They have an awesome TOTS area-and an area for your teenage brothers in law) and your in laws can take him and give you some Alone time with hubby and baby)
I just want to say, it's about the experiences. Waking up in the morning and everybody is there. Them getting to help put your little boy to bed, give him baths etc. You should see this as a time of family love and family help, not as an imposition.
Just relax, love your baby, take time to go nurse the baby privately (and know that all is probably being taken care of with your other little one)

IF this is too soon after the birth, maybe ask them to postpone their trip a couple weeks until you feel more normal. my in laws did not visit till my baby was about a month old.
Good Luck, don't stress out. It's only a short time :-)

I'm a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law. I DO understand how you feel. My in-laws come visit for several weeks at a time at least once a year. When we had all 7 kids at home it was nice to have the extra help eventhough it meant we were crowded. Now that the kids are gone and they are older, when they come to visit it is a LOT more work for me because they don't help much. We buy all the food and they make messes. I work full time so it really gets on my nerves to come home and be asked, "what's for dinner". As a mother-in-law I NEVER want to be a burden on my kids and would appreciate them being honest with me. I prefer to stay with them when I visit because we don't get to see them very often. I ALWAYS buy food and help around the house a LOT. My kids tell me they don't want us to leave because we are such a help.
With all this said, why do I put up with my in-laws? It's because I know that they love us. They are older now and won't be with us many more years. They spent many years raising my husband to be the wonderful man that he is...I at least owe them that. I can catch up on my house cleaning and rest after they are gone. It would REALLY hurt them to have to stay in a motel and it's not worth hurting our good relationship by doing that. I'm not telling you what you should do about your situation, just asking you to really think about the long term effects of your actions and if it is really hurting people who love you so much. We never know when someone we hold dear may leave this world.
J. F.

Your mother-in-law sounds like she loves your family! What a blessings to have someone who when she does comes to your house she tries to be so helpful! When I had our 3 girls each time we just told people what I expected. I told people (not family) no visiting for the first week we were home & then when the family came we told them we needed our space since we were still getting used to the new baby, routines, being a family etc. I would kindly tell your hubby that you really enjoy when his parents come into town, but tell them that this time they cannot stay w/ you. Just be completely honest. I'm sure they will understand since you just had a baby. Also about the way she cooks.... be honest about that also... tell her you really appreciated her cooking for you, but dairy really seems to bother you & ask her not to use as more or none at all! She will listen..... my mother-in-law used to be the biggest junk food person in the world & now after the past 4 yrs. of me encouraging healthy eating she has changed her eating habits! Just continue to be loving, but honset! Blessings! ~C.
PS my youngest is S....I love your name!

You have plenty of good advice, but I just want to put my 2 cents in to support you. I feel your MIL is really trying to be helpful, and would not really be too offended if you asked her stay in a hotel this time around. She probably isn't thinking about the burden she adds. She had children - if reminded, she would remember what it was like to have a newborn and to need to breastfeed round the clock. I sure wouldn't feel like you need to hide your breastfeeding (unless you want to) for their benefit. But use that as part of your excuse not to have company. "I need to be able to do what I need to do without worrying about other's feelings" As far as the cooking goes, you have a toddler and you can say "we're trying to encourage a variety of healthy eating habits, etc." Good luck and congrats!

You just had a baby, you have every right to have some space. Put it on your husband to let his parents know they need to find a hotel. You might try having your husband say that you are very overwhelmed right now, and the thought of having extra people in the house is making you nervous and stressed out. Have him say that while you appreciate them coming to visit, you really need space. Also, point out that with two kids, there really isn't enough room for everyone to stay. New babies are awake at all hours of the night and you don't want to wake anyone up when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night.
There are lots of reasons to have them stay at a hotel. Your husband should say "you need to stay at a hotel", then give them reasons and be firm with them. Hopefully that will set a precedent and they will continue to stay at hotels on future visits.

Wow! I always wish there was a way I could read other comments before I post mine to see if I'm repeating... and I hope you take this as I mean it, but I'd say, suck it up and enJoy it! Imagine living somewhere where you had more people than that in 1/4 the space, for life! In the meantime, get your hands on a copy of the children's story, "The Relatives Came", by Cynthia Rylant and read it to your son, but for yourself. :) You say you love your in-laws... family is a blessing to treasure while you can.

This is a very familiar story to me. After thirteen years I am finally figuring out how to deal with my in-laws. Some people have no sense of what the people around them need--my in-laws, both wealthy, one a doctor, fall into this category. When I had my first daughter they came to visit. I had a home birth, had pushed for hours, was sore, tired, and in awe, as was my husband about what we had done. Our house felt like this amazingly sacred space, and we were so profoundly changed. My in-laws came to see the baby and I sat on the sofa and showed her off and answered their questions and gave her to them to hold and my husband and I were just so happy and hoping that this meant a better relationship between me and them...later his mother said of me, "And she didn't even offer us a glass of water." I was devastated.

Now, I don't let them get to me. My husband wouldn't stand up to them to any great degree, so a few years ago, I started saying what I needed. I've ruffled more than a few feathers, and, in return, I keep my mouth shut quite a bit more than I like, but when it comes to staying at the house, I'm quite clear that it won't work. I try to be as straight-forward as possible: "We'd love for you to visit, but right now, I am not ready to have anyone in the house, even family, so I can help you find a hotel room if you'd like. It's hot here and the girls would love to hang out in the air-conditioning and swim. Thanks for understanding."

It doesn't always turn out well, but we're stuck with these people and if we don't stand up for ourselves we'll be resentful and angry and hurt indefinitely. I'm not willing to martyr myself for my in-laws anymore. This way, even though we don't always get along, I don't walk around despising them as much as I used to. It's a compromise of sorts. Good luck.

S.,

I can feel how stressful this is for you - so sorry you are going through this. I agree with the simple, direct approach. Be as kind as you can, but as firm as you need to be. Communicate with your in-laws directly that you love them, but you need your space. Tell them they CANNOT stay with you this time. This is not negotiable, so don't negotiate. Ask them what alternative would work best for them. Yes, it would be great if your husband could do this, however, this seems to be hard for him to do right now, and this problem is really yours to solve. You are the one in turmoil. If you are unable to stick to your guns, then check yourself and the baby into a hotel, and enjoy the room service. Deal with putting your house in order once they are gone, and you are rested. Don't beat yourself up about any of it. This is a tough situation, and you just had a baby, for gosh sake. You can do this, and you absolutely deserve to have your needs met. Good luck!!

Your husband needs to be the one to say anything to them - since they are his parents, it's better that you stay out of it. Even though they are a burden, I'm sure they have nothing but the best intentions - they obviously love coming to visit, and if they didn't feel welcome, they probably would not come at all. But you should definitely have your husband just come right out and tell them how you feel, but put a POSITIVE spin on it - make it sound like it's the best thing for THEM - privacy, a pool, comfortable beds instead of the floor, etc.

Since they are coming in a week and you you are too stressed to fight with your husband...book a room for one night at the nearest hotel for your family and another room for your inlaws family (for the length of their visit). And just tell them we are vacationing together this visit. (unless they has a key to your house, they will have no choice )after the first night your family can meet and eat and swim AT THE HOTEL together and enjoy each other relaxed. The most they can charge you is 1st night and i'm sure the inlaws will reimberse you or it is a gift. After this visit, tell them how much you enjoyed the hotel an d what a treat it was to be relaxed with them. Try your best NOT to let your mother in law in YOUR kitchen. When you visit her, do the same.
some sons cannot speak to their mothers on their wives behalf.
Some need to be tricked into believing that the whole idea is his and this is what he really wants. but there is not enough time for that now. Book those rooms, tell them it is a present, that you are so glad they are coming and you need the vacation too...forget the hot tub, you sleep!!

I'm not sure what the right answer is here, but it is totally up to your husband to handle his parents. He needs to tell them that your family needs quiet time and space and that having all the company is exhausting for you as a new mother and that he has reserved them a room at a local hotel. If it's reserved, maybe they'll get the hint. Good luck.

Take control of your life. Stop living like a victim. What you said in your statement, "I have asked my husband repeatedly to suggest a hotel and he swears he has in every way except "You can't stay at our house." Well, he needs to say You can't stay at our house! It's his family and he needs to stand up to them and protect you. If it was your family it would be easier for you to speak up for yourself. I am praying for you and your family. Sincere love, I.

get them a hotel room and tell them you chose it because it seemed like a really nice place for your son to enjoy the pool and that they are wlecome to visit yor home but that you want a little provacy . just what you said in your request but in a nicer way. laso if you make food ahead of time you dont have to eat all of the meals she cooks. for example maybe making a big roast ahead of tiem and tell them that you have menu planned out so that she doesnt have to cook . and you can make roast the first night then sanwiches the next day and maybe soemthign lese .

Congrats on the new baby. The bottom line is that having a newborn is stressful enough and you don't need added stress. If you ask nicely and they don't respond I would say, please go get a hotel or we will because there is simply not enough room.
Good luck with your new baby and your MIL. Let me know if it works out.

S.,

Please stand up for yourself. Maybe your husband can just go ahead and make reservations for his parents and tell them that you would be happy to pay for it, if they can't. Have him explain that the house is just too crowded and momma needs some momma time i.e. older son can go swim in the hotel pool. If you give them the option to stay with you, they will. If you end up paying for a few days of their hotel, it might just be worth the sanity!

Good luck!!!

I have very similar problems and I too felt that it should be my husband that talks to them, but it doesn't always work out that way. Because he is their son, they could dismiss what he is saying; especially if you are the first inlaw. My inlaws were still viewing the family as mom, dad, son...not son as a husband and me as a wife. They weren't respecting our family and we had to first address that. Once we addressed how our family dynamic was changing and how we were trying to adjust to it and growing as a family and as individuals, it was easy to tell them that they couldn't announce that they were going to stay with us and barge into our home and our life.
Honesty is the best policy. It is going to be hard to have this type of conversation with them...I know, but it is much harder to bite your tounge and be uncomfortable in your own home and walk on eggshells around them, not to mention the stress it is causing between you and your spouse. You have to tell them the truth. I know it seems that your husband should do it because they are his folks, but the real deal is that you are all family now and he shouldn't have to be in the middle. The longer you keep your husband between you and his parents, the longer you are going to have issues with you inlaws.

I would have your husband tell his family that you both need time to adjust to all the changes that have just taken place. And that you love having them around for support but that space is limited and you need time as a family in the evenings. Plus as you said your son would love to go swim in the hotel pool. They should understand. Congrats on the new baby and good luck!

You say, "We really enjoy having you come, but with our small house, and the new baby, it gets to feeling too cramped for us to have overnight guests. We wish we had the space to accomodate you, but we don't. I know you want us to be able to enjoy your visits, and we want you to enjoy them too, so this time you will need to sleep somewhere else. Our son would really love the opportunity to go to a swimming pool, too and you can have fun with him in the pool! Of course I will fix dinner for you. Here is a list of motels we suggest:........... Would you be able to make the reservations or did you want us to call them?" (They would realize they need to pay for it??? If not, that would need to be said, then, too.) It would be best if your husband makes this call.

I don't know your in-laws (so they may be horrible!) But from your note they don't sound that bad. If money is not an issue than you have to ask what is their motivation. It sounds to me that they are trying to "help" with the new baby and cooking. It also sounds like they are trying to be connected to your family. It may be a bit annoying and inconvenient, but how often do they visit? I don't think I would make them stay somewhere else, b/c it will probably hurt their feelings and cause a major rift. You don't want that. Again, not trying to judge just trying to help you see that it might be a bad week but in the long run, it's not a deal breaker for you, your husband, and family. Good luck and best wishes!

Hi S.. I think you're really making this a lot harder on yourself than it needs to be. This is your house, just ask them to stay at a hotel. Believe me, it'll be much easier for all of you if you, the new mommy, feels comfortable. Just say how you feel in a nice way and be honest. I'm sure if they're reasonable, they'll surely understand. Good luck!

Wow! I felt like I was reading an excerpt of the first few months after I gave birth to my daughter. I had the exact same dilemma...give or take a few details. A Mom of a newborn needs her space to breastfeed, deserves the privacy and sanctuary that is her own home. Having said that you have a right to all those things. Even when it comes to family. Their hearts are in the right place but its up to you to remind them that it's not business as usual in S.'s home. So please be honest with them...if it makes you feel better offer to pay the cost or half the cost of the hotel room. Remind them that you require space to figure out the new dynamics of your household. Explain that you are overwhelmed by the demands your new baby and toddler require and that you would feel less stressed if they stayed in a hotel close by. Schedule their visits and a few dinners...heard of Entrees To Go or My Girlfriends Kitchen? Have your husband pick up a few. Offer to have them babysit one night at your place so you and your husband can go out to dinner. Be honest and brave and they will respect you that much more. Trust me when I say it will save you a lot of grief and the memories of their visits will all be good ones. I promise....they will not be offended...they will be grateful that you think enough of them to be that honest and upfront. In hindsight I would have done all those things, instead I never said anything because I was afraid of hurting their feelings and then one day I was so overwhelmed with all the out of town visitors, trying to entertain by cooking some meals, keeping the house somewhat clean, feeding the baby in between conversations, trying to keep the baby quiet in the middle of the night so not to disturb my guests that I ended up having a meltdown that lasted 3 days. In the end...I ended up looking like a crazy person who had no control of her postpartum emotions. Can you blame me! Needless to say all these things could have been avoided. Granted this was my first baby and I was clueless. I know now that my baby comes first. All my visitors now prefer to stay in a hotel. Not because I was upfront but because they don't ever want to experience the wrath of me. :)

Hi S.,
I feel for you and remember how crazy I was going right after my daughter was born. My fiance thought he was being helpful by arranging for everyone to come see our daughter but we pulled up to our house (day 1 from the hospital) and people were actually waiting outside. It was VERY frustrating! I eventually took my baby girl and went in my bedroom. Needless to say I was very upset that he did not take my needs into consideration while planning for the neighborhood to greet us.
This is YOUR time to bond and get to know your baby. It is always nice to have help from family but they need to LEAVE after their visit has occurred. There is nothing wrong with a planned overnight stay, meaning they ASK if it okay with you. But it very inconsiderate to just show up expecting to be accommodated. I would try taking initiative and call them saying your oldest son would really like some alone time with Grandma and Grandpa and you would appreciate it if they could take him for a weekend. This may help start a trend when they come visit.
Best of luck to you!!!
~D.

Maybe your husband should just tell them straight out in a nice and calm way. We really love when you come to visit, but with our house and the baby being so small it really gets crowded. Would you mind staying at a hotel? My son would love to come play in the pool etc.

Tough situation. good luck!

oh i used to go through this with my ex inlaws!!!!and it came down to that if my ex didnt tell his parents then i would.

if your dh doesnt stepup for you then i would pick one of them fil or mil that you're closer to give them a ring and say can i talk to you???tell them you feel bad about saying this(even if you dont)and then tell them with the baby and our ever growing family there's just not room for you guys to stay in the house.suggest the closest hotel and see how it goes.keep us updated!!!

S.,
If your husband can't say "you can't stay at our house", then you must. You may start a life-long rift with your in-laws (although I sincerely doubt that you will) but with a 3 year old and a baby, you need your sanity. Call your in-laws and give them the phone numbers of a few of those near-by hotels, and tell them, ever so nicely, that having them stay at your house isn't possible now that you have 2 kids. Period. Call the hotels and make sure that the pool is open and functioning, and find out the hours. Ask your husband to tell your in-laws how excited your 3 year old will be if he can go play in the pool.
If your mother-in-law volunteers to cook, say "no, thank you". If she volunteers to shop, you can accept gracefully (she has more time than you do), but be emphatic about buying just what's on the list. Expect a few extras. Lock up the cheese.
Remember Rabbi Hillel's teaching: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I? And IF NOT NOW, WHEN?"

Oh boy, do we have the same inlaws? I haven't, after six years, come up with a solution but this time they're at least bringing their RV...any chance your ILs have one? I suggested it as a fun thing for the kids, couldn't believe they agreed to it.

Mmm, this may be out in left field a little, but you titled your question "mother-in-law", and I'm kinda wondering... Is the f.i.l. okay with his sleeping-arrangements?

My Dad puts up with a lot from my Mom - just kinda goes with whatever she decides most of the time, but the second any of us sisters say anything ("Dad, why don't you guys stay in a hotel instead of camping out?"), he'll finally speak up and agree with us.

What if your husband tried talking to his Dad instead? He may just be waiting for the excuse to stay in a comfortable hotel bed and get himself off the floor.

... Maybe worth a shot (???)
T

Hi S.,
Congratulations on you new baby! I agree with some of the moms. This situation needs to be resolved by your HUSBAND. These are HIS parents. If he truly has tried "in every way" but: "you can't stay at our house", then he needs to tell them JUST THAT. This is a delicate matter. He needs to let them know he/you love them and appreciate all the support and love, but if they REALLY want to help, they need to stay in a hotel. These folks sound absolutely CLUELESS. What kind of doctor is he? He should know the position you are in right know emotionally and physically to appreciate that you need privacy. WOW.
Your husband needs to tell them that due to the fact that you are ALL still adjusting to another newborn and the fact that there are 4 people now living in your small home, there just is not enough space to accomodate guests anymore. This will be for long term situations, not just now! Also, your husband needs to be a man and realize that this is the best thing for ALL of you as a family. He can't make this about just you against his parents.
ALL of you need this time to adjust to your growing family. Good Luck!

I feel for you - wow that is a tough one. we dealt with a similar situation after our daughter was born - all wanted to stay with us in our small house and we had 30 straight days of visitors - one group after another - it was exhausting! Not to mention the bickering step grandma and grandpa that don't have kids themselves and are clueless about helping out a new mother. I would definitely push your husband to just openly discuss this with his family - that you all need a little space and they need to stay in a hotel. Good luck!

That is a HUGE intrusion! Especially after having a baby only 3 weeks ago! I don't even let visitors come to my house for short visits until about after a month because I need that time to adjust and at least try to get some rest. Don't forget that the doctor recommends 6 WEEKS recovery/down time for the baby and YOU! Having house guests does not increase your ability to recover.

I am totally frustrated for you! One way or the other one of you needs to kindly ask your in-laws to stay elsewhere. A simple:

"We love having you guys around, but with such tight space, the new baby, and trying to recover and adjust it just isn't very practical for us to have any house guests. There are some inexpesive hotels close by and (the 3 year old's name) would love to go swiming in the hotel pool - that could be a fun activity for all of us. I can help you look for a good hotel if that would make things easier on you. Thank you so much for understanding. I really appreciate you guys staying in a hotel. Can't wait to see you."

If that doesn't work tell your husband to get a hotel room anyway (one of those suites with the kitchenette) and you go stay there!!

Good luck! Remember it is your house and although it is good to be hospitable you shouldn't have to be marched all over by your in-laws. It is only reasonable (and expected by the civilzed world) that they stay in a hotel. Even hospitality has its boundaries!

P.S. You could always start breastfeeding infront of everyone. Maybe that would make father-in-law and the teens uncomfortable enough that they elect to stay elsewhere next time. Just put those babies on display! :-)

I'd play up the pool aspect of it. Go ahead and book the hotel (conveniently located with a nice pool of course!) and tell them you thought they'd be more comfortable (maybe they would actually like to but didnt want to hurt your feelings?) and that you are SO looking forward to the pool!!! That would be a great thing for grandparents to do with their grandson so they are not feeling cooped up while you are taking care of baby. Play it up and present it positively. I'd maybe reserve and pay the bill myself (worth the sanity, right?) and hopefully they will decide to pay it anyway but even if not, you have their stuff out of the house, and them overnight, and a pool to play at.

Be aware though, they will not want to hang out at the motel room, because they've come all this way to see and spend time with you & your family. So you will still have them all day long at your house (unless you hang out there). The teens may discover how much fun it is and want to spend the day there while the parents spend the day at your place, and there's 2 seats freed up if they do that.

Good luck! And remember: this too shall pass. The crowd & mess fades but family is forever.

There obviously isn't a way to clue them in without just coming right out and saying - no offense but we don't have room and I need my space right now - if they still insist on coming to stay tell your husband to take YOU and baby to the hotel and let them have your house - then maybe they will get the idea. Three days after my third son was born my husband's brother came for a visit - expecting to stay with us and be waited on - I told them to go camping because I didn't appreciate that - and suffered milk fever alone while they were gone - no one around to help me but no one around to make the stress and workload on me worse either. Thankfully he went back to Michigan a day after they returned from camping. He has never asked to stay with us again and whenever he comes to town to visit family he stays at a hotel with his wife. Good luck dealing with them and not offending them - but in-laws are notorious for grudge-holding so don't be surprised if it has very long-lasting effects on other aspects of your relationship with them. I just considered it good riddance.

Maybe blame it on the 2nd baby. Tell them that you have found that you need more rest/ quiet time with this baby than the last one. You'd love to have them visit, but, could they stay somewhere else until the baby reaches "X" age? It might be a good way to get them in the habit of staying elsewhere. Good luck!

Your husband must get a backbone but it is understandably hard. Your inlaws obviously mean well, so keep reminding yourself of that. But you will have to get very clever at what you will do for your husband if he is honest and tells them they cannot stay at your house. It is just too small and you'd be happy to make the reservation for them. Be sure he tells them how thrilled that you are that they are visiting. (Some don't even visit.) You know what you r husband likes. Be sure to let him know that you will do ANYTHING (and give him that cute smile) since you know he is the strong man you married, who can stand up to his parents. Remind him about what you love about him and why you are so glad he is the head of the house. Good luck!

This is where your dh needs to come in. You need to discuss the issues (even giving him a cheat sheet - we know how forgetful they can be), and help him find a way to tactfully and lovingly word what your family (not just you) needs. This is a tough enough time, and he can try to help his mom remember that. I'm sure she/they want to help, but yes, having that help live with you for even a few days is just really hard, even in a house with more room. Honesty is important. And I hear you about the cooking - it's even more important than ever that you eat healthy right now. You can even check out the local hotels and make a reservation, letting your dh know the details to give them.

There's an old book called, "When I Say No I Feel Guilty." I do not recall the author, but the jist is that we need to be ASSERTIVE. Your space is being violated big time, and your husband needs to understand that. Like they say about drugs, "JUST SAY NO"! Tell them how much more fun it would be for your children and how much more you would appreciate their visits if they would get a hotel room and let you share THEIR space for a change. Do it for you and your sanity! You will just build up deep-down resentment for them and consequently, even unconsciously for your husband if you don't. Which comes first, your immediate family or your in-laws? I am a mother-in-law, and I would NEVER dream of putting out my kids and grandkids like that. I'm sure they don't see it that way, but many people with great intelligence have no common sense. Good luck!
K.

Oh S.! I soooo understand where you are coming from, but I am sorry to say I do not have the answer for you. Talking to your husband and having him address it with his parents would be the best choice but I hear you saying that you have tried that...

My inlaws stay with us for ...months! (they are snowbirds with no second home). When we didnt have children and I worked it was easier to deal with the imposition. Now that we have kids...and I stay at home..its a different story. The best I could do was try to explain as sensitively as I could to my husband how stressful it was to have visitors in the house for long periods of time. It has helped some...but they still stay with us for 4-5 weeks. The FOOD and the leftovers (they save everything!!) and the messing up your kitchen. UGH! It is sooo frustrating isnt it!?

I hear you and I feel for you S., you deserve privacy especially with a newborn! I will be hoping that your husband feels inspired to kindly request (insist) for a change.